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Armor_of_Light
Guest
I thought you were joking…
.What exactly are we talking about here? Help a brother out…
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.What exactly are we talking about here? Help a brother out…
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John_of_Woking
Guest
Ok now what about those people who always sit in the same seat? Do you get annoyed when someone sits in YOUR seat/pew/end of pew?
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Armor_of_Light
Guest
I took my 2 boys to confession one Saturday, and we were sitting in a pew…you know praying and examining and whatnot. 5 people in the whole church.Ok now what about those people who always sit in the same seat? Do you get annoyed when someone sits in YOUR seat/pew/end of pew?
This lady waddles in and stands at the entrance to the pew and asks us to move.
Must have been her pew! Noted…
Dodged a bullet on that one. We got right the heck out of her pew and moved.
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clem456
Guest
Really a consistent theme in a lot of these threads is, people are looking for a comfort zone, myself included. A Mass that makes them comfortable, a priest they agree with, the “right” music, their own place to sit. Being comforted is not a bad thing in itself, but I think using comfort to guide our decisions and attitudes can lead us astray.Ok now what about those people who always sit in the same seat? Do you get annoyed when someone sits in YOUR seat/pew/end of pew?
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waanju
Guest
Hey folks? Aren’t we all making this a way bigger deal than it is? If someone doesn’t automatically stand up or slide over, you say “Good morning! I see there’s some space up the pew. Would you mind sliding over so we don’t have to squeeze past you?” The person will either slide over, or if they have a reason that they want to sit at the end, they’ll get up and let you by. I’m sorry if you don’t want to ask, if you’re really that opposed to asking, you could stand at the end of each pew until some very observant person who happens to be unusually attuned to those around them sees you and stands/slides of their own accord. But, truth is, most people just don’t notice. Either way, it’s NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
Those saying you feel “entitled” or making (frankly scary) comments about how they don’t want to sit next to kids anyway are only saying those things because they’re on the internet. I GUARANTEE that if you asked them to slide or stand (barring actual physical inability) they would be more than happy to oblige (before Mass, you can’t expect people to move once it’s already started).
SO can’t we all just get along?
Those saying you feel “entitled” or making (frankly scary) comments about how they don’t want to sit next to kids anyway are only saying those things because they’re on the internet. I GUARANTEE that if you asked them to slide or stand (barring actual physical inability) they would be more than happy to oblige (before Mass, you can’t expect people to move once it’s already started).
SO can’t we all just get along?
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zab
Guest
Nope, but I can’t help what some may think.Ok now what about those people who always sit in the same seat? Do you get annoyed when someone sits in YOUR seat/pew/end of pew?
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John_of_Woking
Guest
you took it in good grace:thumbsup:
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zab
Guest
Sometimes when I needed to sit at the end of the pew, I discovered that it was easier to choose a pew that was already filling rather than to choose an empty or nearly empty pew that would eventually be filled.
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shipwrkd
Guest
In post # 61 you said you were not in the service…I thought you were joking…
What exactly are we talking about here? Help a brother out…
In post # 97 you said you are a trained Marine…
A Marine who was not in the service???
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Marauder
Guest
The key is to assume good faith off all people at Mass unless directly proven otherwise. You don’t know if that person “blocking the pew” has a bladder condition that means they have to get up. Unless you know the person, personally you don’t know anything about the person.
People coming to Mass late cannot assume they will get an end of pew seat. Ideally people can get whatever seat they want. If you want that, change your church to a struggling parish that isn’t constantly full and go there.
If you are that person in the row, determine what is the most charitable thing to do in the situation. If you have a valid reason for keeping the end seat, do so, but charitably get up and let the people in. If the people really still want an end seat they can try with a different person. If you don’t have a reason for keeping the end seat depending on the number of people entering it may be better to scoot over or it may be better to get up. Different things happen in different circumstances.
Also some people assume that the ushers are supposed to work this out. That depends on the parish. At one location I volunteer (a major pilgrimage location), we are specifically told the ushers are not there to show people to seats. They can suggest locations, etc. but they aren’t traffic cops. They are there to welcome people, answer questions, facilitate Mass, etc. It is amazing how rude some people can be expecting that when they show up 10 minutes late for Christmas Mass they should be able to get whatever seat they want.
People coming to Mass late cannot assume they will get an end of pew seat. Ideally people can get whatever seat they want. If you want that, change your church to a struggling parish that isn’t constantly full and go there.
If you are that person in the row, determine what is the most charitable thing to do in the situation. If you have a valid reason for keeping the end seat, do so, but charitably get up and let the people in. If the people really still want an end seat they can try with a different person. If you don’t have a reason for keeping the end seat depending on the number of people entering it may be better to scoot over or it may be better to get up. Different things happen in different circumstances.
Also some people assume that the ushers are supposed to work this out. That depends on the parish. At one location I volunteer (a major pilgrimage location), we are specifically told the ushers are not there to show people to seats. They can suggest locations, etc. but they aren’t traffic cops. They are there to welcome people, answer questions, facilitate Mass, etc. It is amazing how rude some people can be expecting that when they show up 10 minutes late for Christmas Mass they should be able to get whatever seat they want.
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Julia_Mae
Guest
If a group wants to sit in the pew, I stand up and let them in. I also leave my purse and coat in my space.
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zab
Guest
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shipwrkd
Guest
My fault, read # 61 and you said you were not in the service. # 97 states I am a trained Marine but after reading a second time, you must have left a word or letter out. I just wondered how a trained Marine could not have been in the service.I thought you were joking…
What exactly are we talking about here? Help a brother out…
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Sarabande
Guest
Hey folks? Aren’t we all making this a way bigger deal than it is? If someone doesn’t automatically stand up or slide over, you say “Good morning! I see there’s some space up the pew. Would you mind sliding over so we don’t have to squeeze past you?” The person will either slide over, or if they have a reason that they want to sit at the end, they’ll get up and let you by. I’m sorry if you don’t want to ask, if you’re really that opposed to asking, you could stand at the end of each pew until some very observant person who happens to be unusually attuned to those around them sees you and stands/slides of their own accord. But, truth is, most people just don’t notice. Either way, it’s NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
Those saying you feel “entitled” or making (frankly scary) comments about how they don’t want to sit next to kids anyway are only saying those things because they’re on the internet. I GUARANTEE that if you asked them to slide or stand (barring actual physical inability) they would be more than happy to oblige (before Mass, you can’t expect people to move once it’s already started).
SO can’t we all just get along?
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shipwrkd
Guest
You danced divinely…like a good Marine would have
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Armor_of_Light
Guest
Ahh… I did leave out the commas. It should have read “If, in fact, I was…”
OK…carry on.
I would never ask someone to slide/move over.
I would assume they wanted the spot where they were sitting, ask if the empty spot was available, and leave it to them to indicate whether they wished to move over or preferred me to move past them.
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shipwrkd
Guest
Hey waanju, of course we are. But it’s way more interesting then the games that go around the CAF.:clapping:
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Sarabande
Guest
I think what works best is smiling and saying, “Excuse me. Is that section open?” Most people are nice and happy to move out to let you in or move over.
But I do agree with waanju’s overall post. It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
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Annabelle_Marie
Guest
Why is the onus on you? Because you got there late. Why is the onus on us to sit in the middle “in case” someone comes in? Some of us are used to filling the ends and spreading out to make it look fuller from daily Mass. It seems like you are expecting everyone to revolve around you…not even wanting to ask.
I don’t know why you assume that the person sitting on the end is relaxed or well rested or care-free. My husband and I are a childless couple and if you assumed that about me you would be dead wrong!
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