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cheezey
Guest
And there you have it, folks. A toast to the wise young lady and the current and future happy couple!!! Cheers!!!
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
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Ruthcloud
Guest
Cheezey
Thank you for the amazing compliment!
Real julliane
Ya, you can adopt me, but I will eat all your ice cream and chocolate LOL
Btw I did do some research on my friends comments about her views on being open to life.
It is really difficult to research as we have no internet at home and I only have access to the one at work, which I can’t really use for this stuff, so I link my blackberry to it and check up on stuff on my breaks or downtime(Hard to see the small words on my blackberry, that is why sometimes my spelling is off). I did bring it up to her again cautously last night and she maintained she was doing what was right.
So I wrote a note to my husband this morning about what she said to me. And his response was simple. She technically is right that she is open to life, but this is not the whole story.
What she is ignoring or is unaware of is that the act itself should not be intetionally frusturated, the husband must(should want to) complete the marital embrace by spilling completly inside his wife vaginally (tried to keep it clinical). Withdrawal should not happen before or during but after everything is said and done. I think my sweetie is right and I have to go with what he says. We definatly do not want to start our marriage in sexual immorality
So then this afternoon I looked into what my friend was saying and she might not even be correct at all. There is a very small, small chance that there is any sperm present before the man releases…if there is a second round it is 100 percent sure she is right. So she might not even be true to her own interpretation.
Thank you for the amazing compliment!
Real julliane
Ya, you can adopt me, but I will eat all your ice cream and chocolate LOL
Btw I did do some research on my friends comments about her views on being open to life.
It is really difficult to research as we have no internet at home and I only have access to the one at work, which I can’t really use for this stuff, so I link my blackberry to it and check up on stuff on my breaks or downtime(Hard to see the small words on my blackberry, that is why sometimes my spelling is off). I did bring it up to her again cautously last night and she maintained she was doing what was right.
So I wrote a note to my husband this morning about what she said to me. And his response was simple. She technically is right that she is open to life, but this is not the whole story.
What she is ignoring or is unaware of is that the act itself should not be intetionally frusturated, the husband must(should want to) complete the marital embrace by spilling completly inside his wife vaginally (tried to keep it clinical). Withdrawal should not happen before or during but after everything is said and done. I think my sweetie is right and I have to go with what he says. We definatly do not want to start our marriage in sexual immorality
So then this afternoon I looked into what my friend was saying and she might not even be correct at all. There is a very small, small chance that there is any sperm present before the man releases…if there is a second round it is 100 percent sure she is right. So she might not even be true to her own interpretation.
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RoseMary131
Guest
Some advice to all couples planning for marriage is to take time to discuss important issues of a life time of marriage. This includes discussing thoughts on sexual relationship and having children.
You mentioned in an earlier post that you thought you would follow this co-worker’s idea:
There is a lot of planning for the Sacrament of Matrimony. Couples want to take time to make this a real discussion and not just a quick note.
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Markus2007
Guest
Please don’t confuse withdrawel with NFP, it has nothing to do with each other.
But anyways I’m sure the two of you will do fine and have a fantastic honeymoon
But anyways I’m sure the two of you will do fine and have a fantastic honeymoon
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
It is not a small chance that sperm is present before ejaculation - many couples get pregnant before marriage when they fool around with this method. And your fiance’ is right - withdrawal before ejaculation is a sin, and afterward, it’s not really withdrawal but just the natural process. If the man releases inside his wife, then there is no prevention going on. I think your friend doesn’t really understand the process very well, or she is kidding herself about what she’s doing.
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Ruthcloud
Guest
Thank you so much for your patience with me.
I would never follow someones advice from a vague conversation…I just did not know any better and hence had no reason to doubt her. I knew that I should be open to life, but I did not know the “gory” details LOL.
God,the Church and my future husband is who I am subject to…and the info on these three line up, while her story does not. I will find a time to gently talk to her, I think something is wrong.
Thank you so much, I don’t really have a mother to talk to.
I totally accept and will emrace this when I say my vows…thanks again.
Things sure get complicated these last few months…I did end up just writing a note to FH about this and he checked up on the subjrct. I thought it would be better to write a note, it is actually getting harder to remain chaste as the date gets closer…few close calls.
I do have discernment though before I came on here I was lurking on a christian marriage site and did not agree with what was practiced on that site.
I have been SO busy that I did not give what she told me too much thought. I totally trust you guys and my FH.
It is interesting that someone brought up single people using withdrawal as a method, it really helped make sense of the reason not to practice this…I hope you don’t judge me but I did see an adult film once…and this is exactly what is practiced by them…the whole thing was demonic,.and although a camera crew is not in our bedrooms, God is present and if this is what he sees…it would be a disappointment to Him, as He did not design it this way.
So ya, it makes sense that we should not practice things that are done by sexual deviants or teens in the back seat of a car. And give God the glory, love and His creative hand be our guide.
Makes sense…my life took a u turn from others not following Gods plan. The point is driven home as I have no family and no dad to give me away.
I would never follow someones advice from a vague conversation…I just did not know any better and hence had no reason to doubt her. I knew that I should be open to life, but I did not know the “gory” details LOL.
God,the Church and my future husband is who I am subject to…and the info on these three line up, while her story does not. I will find a time to gently talk to her, I think something is wrong.
Thank you so much, I don’t really have a mother to talk to.
I totally accept and will emrace this when I say my vows…thanks again.
Things sure get complicated these last few months…I did end up just writing a note to FH about this and he checked up on the subjrct. I thought it would be better to write a note, it is actually getting harder to remain chaste as the date gets closer…few close calls.
I do have discernment though before I came on here I was lurking on a christian marriage site and did not agree with what was practiced on that site.
I have been SO busy that I did not give what she told me too much thought. I totally trust you guys and my FH.
It is interesting that someone brought up single people using withdrawal as a method, it really helped make sense of the reason not to practice this…I hope you don’t judge me but I did see an adult film once…and this is exactly what is practiced by them…the whole thing was demonic,.and although a camera crew is not in our bedrooms, God is present and if this is what he sees…it would be a disappointment to Him, as He did not design it this way.
So ya, it makes sense that we should not practice things that are done by sexual deviants or teens in the back seat of a car. And give God the glory, love and His creative hand be our guide.
Makes sense…my life took a u turn from others not following Gods plan. The point is driven home as I have no family and no dad to give me away.
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VivienneJ
Guest
Something interesting I learned around the time my daughter got married: in the Catholic church the bride is not given away by anybody. Man and woman freely give themselves to each other. For it to be a valid marriage consent must be freely given, and if someone gives the woman away the implication is that she is not consenting freely.
But, of course there is the tradition of the radiant bride walking down the aisle on her proud dad’s arm - and this is done. In my daughter’s case there was no dad to walk her down the aisle; there was no male friend or relative available either. In the end her father-in-law walked her into the church.
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agapewolf
Guest
The rite actually calls for bride and groom to walk together
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VivienneJ
Guest
Oh, really, so I just learned something new. Is that something done universally? Or is there “wiggle-room” for differences in cultural expectations/perceptions? - And I’m having difficulty finding the way to express what I’m trying to ask
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agapewolf
Guest
Yes, there are allowances for cultural traditions.Oh, really, so I just learned something new. Is that something done universally? Or is there “wiggle-room” for differences in cultural expectations/perceptions? - And I’m having difficulty finding the way to express what I’m trying to ask
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Ruthcloud
Guest
I just assumed that when my future father in law offered to walk me down the aisle that he was giving me away. I wonder where that saying came from as many people have asked me" who is giving me away". I did not link being given awsy to not willingly entering marriage.
I have so much to learn!
I have so much to learn!
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Ruthcloud
Guest
I thought I would give you guys an update. Me and my co-worker were talking about my upcoming wedding, so I did manage to gemtly bring up the topic and asked her if she was absolutly sure about what she told me. She did hold her ground and was quite defensive aboiut the topic. I just let her talk and did not agree or disagree, and told her that I just want to live my life pleasing to God.
. She is much older and than I am and it is not proper for me to give her advice anyways.
She is a wonderful person who I do look up to.
. She is much older and than I am and it is not proper for me to give her advice anyways.
She is a wonderful person who I do look up to.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
That is something that Hollywood has helped to cement into common practice. People can hardly imagine a wedding where the father does not walk the bride down the aisle and hand her over to her groom! But I have learned that the Catholic Church does not encourage this practice and that it is much more Catholic for the bride and groom to walk together up to the altar. I like that idea much more, since both are coming to the presence of God Almighty to take their vows as husband and wife.
By the way, I tried to PM you but you have to delete your messages or I can’t send anything to you. New members don’t get to keep their messages - you have to delete or you can’t send or receive. That will pass as the numbers of your posts goes up.
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Ruthcloud
Guest
I do not know much about the internet and forums…not much access other than in town at work!
I guess that will explain only having one PM and 100 percent full! It is gone now, send away!
I guess that will explain only having one PM and 100 percent full! It is gone now, send away!
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Ruthcloud
Guest
The wording “open to life” is a bit misleading in a way…I know there has been some misunderstandings on this as a lady on the “family life” asked the same question.
I do have a few questions…not to be a lawyer or try to split hairs…
-The marital embrace is complete each time the husband finishes and that is a separate act. So if the husband finishes properly the first time, Lets say the couple goes on to a second or third time in a row, the husband still has to finish vaginally each and every time after the first time…right
My FH asked me to look up these next questions
-Oral sex on him is allowed if both parties are comfortable with it, but it is only moral as foreplay and is only acceptable as long as the couple finish within the marital embrace.
-What about the couple not finishing the marital embrace …a baby crying or someone at the door.
-What about intentionally not finishing the embrace, stopping and then waiting for later in the day? Or not going past foreplay and just stopping there?
-As we will be an inexperienced couple after our wedding…if the intent is to complete the act in the proper manner, Lets say the couple messes up and the man does not release inside the wife…there is no harm done…right
-My biggest question is where does the wifes stimulation fit into all of this…as it really has nothing to do with being open to life or fertility.
Well, this would be embarrassing to ask someone in person…even a bit hard to ask in cyberspace…I hope that it is not offensive
I do have a few questions…not to be a lawyer or try to split hairs…
-The marital embrace is complete each time the husband finishes and that is a separate act. So if the husband finishes properly the first time, Lets say the couple goes on to a second or third time in a row, the husband still has to finish vaginally each and every time after the first time…right
My FH asked me to look up these next questions
-Oral sex on him is allowed if both parties are comfortable with it, but it is only moral as foreplay and is only acceptable as long as the couple finish within the marital embrace.
-What about the couple not finishing the marital embrace …a baby crying or someone at the door.
-What about intentionally not finishing the embrace, stopping and then waiting for later in the day? Or not going past foreplay and just stopping there?
-As we will be an inexperienced couple after our wedding…if the intent is to complete the act in the proper manner, Lets say the couple messes up and the man does not release inside the wife…there is no harm done…right
-My biggest question is where does the wifes stimulation fit into all of this…as it really has nothing to do with being open to life or fertility.
Well, this would be embarrassing to ask someone in person…even a bit hard to ask in cyberspace…I hope that it is not offensive
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