Engaged but living together chastely?

[tafan2]

In the 1840s or 1940s, if a couple came to a priest, who were engaged, living together, claimed it was as brother or sister, had no financial means to move apart (a scenario that probably did arise in those days), I strongly suspect he would have encouraged them to get married immediately. The same as if the woman had been pregnant.

Not a bad approach in my mind for that day and age.

 

[tafan2]

@Alexgrace927,
First of all, I agree with others, talk to your pastor. But as one who has done marraige prep, let me give you a bit if advice, regardless of how this immediate problem turns out:

Take marraige preparation seriously. In helping couples prepare for marraige, it is not often one can draw definitive conclusions, but there is one pattern that my wife and I have noticed: couples who live together before marraige are invariably less prepared to get married than couples who do not. This may sound counter-intuituve to you, but it is a fact. Why? When a couple move in together, they don’t approach it as a lifelong commitment. They have a simple “roommate with benefits” situation. Despite possibly being in love with each other, they do not approach the situation as husband and wife, they are roommates. Then they get engaged, and invariably do not see the need for serious marraige prep, in their minds they have figured all out already. This is even the case when they have undergone a conversion and are trying to live chastely. They may be very sincere and serious about their desire to be married, but they do little to prepare for that marraige.

 

[annad347]

So, what is near occasion for one person may not be for another.

True, but how would you feeling the cashier looked at you, looked at the cookies, then said nope you are not allowed to have these. She doesnt really know you but she just judge you’re ability to handle those cookies… she thinks she’s saving you by not allowing you to have them, but in reality she just took away your freewill. She also decided those cookies were stronger then your love for God… that’s doesnt seem fair.

 

[PatK63]

@Adeline
I guess then why did you confess? If you are doing something you think is wrong, it is wrong. I think you have to come to peace in your own mind. When you confess you believe it is a sin and the priest accepts your word. If you are in sin you have to have some intent not to sin again. IMView your situation is problematic at least. You are putting yourself in the approximate occasion of sin. You should probable schedule an appointment with the priest.

 

[annad347]

I said a cashier cause TheLittleLady said cookies.

And the only reason IMO I can think of a priest not giving someone absolution is either he didnt think a sin was committed, or he doesnt believe what you’re saying…any other reason would be unfair.

 

[annad347]

Then why, same “sin”, one priest considers the situation sinful another doesn’t?

 

[annad347]

Thank you.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

I can’t help but wonder, in 1940, or 1840, or 1740, etc. would a priest in confession say they were committing a sin? And what sin would that be?

 

[1ke]

Well I can only go with what Jesus said. When he met the woman at the well, he said you have had five husbands and the one you have now is not your husband.

He met the woman where she was and taught her. we can hope that the man in the story became her husband, but we don’t know. We also didn’t see Jesus telling her to leave him immediately. That probably would not have been possible in her day with a vulnerable woman.

We know Jesus spoke to her when it appears the others of the village shunned her, which is why she was drawing water in the heat of the day.

 

[1ke]

Not sinning isn’t the same as moving out.

Again: NOT intrinsically evil to live under the same roof.

 

[1ke]

I never said it was. In fact, in post #3 replying to the OP I said that she should listen to the pastoral team advising her. She said she was going to talk with the priest.