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EsclavoDeCristo
Guest
Did anyone else who has participated in this thread get an interesting PM earlier today?
- Status
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
I did not. Define “interesting”Did anyone else who has participated in this thread get an interesting PM earlier today?
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
Yes, and I told her to appeal to the BishopDid anyone else who has participated in this thread get an interesting PM earlier today?
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
What did I miss? C’mon, c’mon, I want to be a part of the club?!?!
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LittleDeb
Guest
I would define interesting as inappropriate. I was wondering too if this thread is what put me on that mailing list. We got a PM asking us if we would be willing to forge our Engaged Encounter certificate for a couple who had to leave a weekend and needs one now to get married.
I almost responded in the form of correction, but the Spirit told me it wasn’t my job this time. But it did bring up a lot of feelings in me and my ministry with Engaged Encounter. It is frustrating sometimes to want to share Truth with people only to have those attending going through just for the certificate. Having people put it off until the last minute and then expect that the world stops for their personal crisis is also difficult. The phrase, “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part,” comes to mind.
I think for me the difficult times are the glares. My husband and I give just one talk at every weekend, the NFP talk. While I find great joy in reaching that one person who needed to hear it, the glares from the closed ones are tough. There is always at least one of both categories at every single retreat. My mom reminds me when we have a tough weekend, that we are ‘planting seeds.’ Sometimes it is way more fun to be nurturing young plants.
I think, like the OP, that catering to the ‘seeds’ is tough on the other ‘plants.’ It’s sad to be a gardener and not get to know which seed finally sprouted.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Thanks for the update and for the great post. I too, wish that more people would embrace NFP at the beginning of their marriage and enjoy those fruits from the beginning.
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EsclavoDeCristo
Guest
I did reply but never heard back. I think we should all pray for that couple that God would touch their hearts and that this struggle would be an opportunity for sanctification in their relationship.
Oh and I love your comparison between seeds and plants, great visual!
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
I replied, and I told her to appeal to the bishop, and see what he said.
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teachingtarheel
Guest
My husband and I have been married a month (as of today) and we did not have to attend an Engaged Encounter Weekend, however, we did meet with our priest five or six times and met with our sponsor couple 6 times- All of this over a period of 8 months. While with our priest we talked about church teaching, the sacrament as a whole, spiritual living as a couple, etc. This was a review for us mostly, as we are both converts to the faith and finished RCIA within the last 6 years or so…AND…because my husband is a former semianarian for our diocese. That being said, he knows quite a bit about church teaching and we also (like some of the other posters) read a lot on our own. The workbook we completed with our couple was called *For Better and Forever- Roman Catholic Edition. *Although some of it was a little less orthodox/traditional than we would have preferred, we thought it was ok. Any others use this book? Any opinions?
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EsclavoDeCristo
Guest
Wow! I would love to have that kind of prep, meeting with the priest 6 times and having a mentoring couple! You guys really are blessed.
One book Mandy and I read (I’m still reading) is called “Men are Waffles and Women are Spaghetti”. Its not Catholic but protestant. However, it is good for understanding the differences between how men and women act and think. Of course it is not 100% dead on (ie, birth control) and people do vary some, it has been good for us and helped us to better understand the mind of the opposite sex. I highly recommend it.
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Respect_GOD
Guest
Hello
My fiancé and I also attended Engaged Encounter in Edmonton Alberta in the Fall of 2006. The leader couples were wonderful but we were disappointed with some of the conversation and the other couples attending. There was one couple (name removed by moderator)articular that stated outright that they would never be able to live without ABC. There were others that also complained about the separate accommodations. It also felt too long and too short. Too long in that by the end of the weekend we were all exhausted. It was too short in that it definitely neglected a few very important areas such as money management. One book that we have found very useful is called For Better and Forever. marriagepreparation.com/Products&Services.htm
We have been very impressed with it. Also our engagement is 20 months long. From Sept. 2006 to May 2008. We are also going to be attending our Church’s Marriage preparation course this fall, hopefully a more of these couples will be practicing Catholics. God Bless everyone.
My fiancé and I also attended Engaged Encounter in Edmonton Alberta in the Fall of 2006. The leader couples were wonderful but we were disappointed with some of the conversation and the other couples attending. There was one couple (name removed by moderator)articular that stated outright that they would never be able to live without ABC. There were others that also complained about the separate accommodations. It also felt too long and too short. Too long in that by the end of the weekend we were all exhausted. It was too short in that it definitely neglected a few very important areas such as money management. One book that we have found very useful is called For Better and Forever. marriagepreparation.com/Products&Services.htm
We have been very impressed with it. Also our engagement is 20 months long. From Sept. 2006 to May 2008. We are also going to be attending our Church’s Marriage preparation course this fall, hopefully a more of these couples will be practicing Catholics. God Bless everyone.
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Mary_Frances
Guest
My husband and I attended Engaged Encounter 15 years ago. It was recommended by my parish priest. The presenters were good. 
However, in retrospect, I wish that they would have discussed NFP and stressed how Contraception is against Church teaching.
Many of the couples attending were living together and were making arrangements with others so that they could room together with fiances. It just so happened that my husband was sharing a room with the fiance of my roommate. They wanted us switch so that they could share a room.
We did not want to do that and said no to them. My roommate said that it was no big deal because they had been living together for five years. Another couple was bragging when our group was introducing ourselves that they “did things backwards” by having a child and then getting married. They seemed to think it was funny. 
Our diocese had a special Retreat for Widowed, Cohabitating and those who had children out of wedlock.
The presenters from what I understand were not happy with the way things were going with the sleeping arrangements, but nobody did anything about it. After Sunday Mass, many people left early. My husband and I were one of the six couples who stayed until the very end.
I really hope that things have changed with the attitude of those participating now. It is sad that people do not respect the teachings of the Church on Marriage. One would think that they would have been embarassed to be rooming together at a Church function when they were not married!
However, in retrospect, I wish that they would have discussed NFP and stressed how Contraception is against Church teaching.Many of the couples attending were living together and were making arrangements with others so that they could room together with fiances. It just so happened that my husband was sharing a room with the fiance of my roommate. They wanted us switch so that they could share a room.
We did not want to do that and said no to them. My roommate said that it was no big deal because they had been living together for five years. Another couple was bragging when our group was introducing ourselves that they “did things backwards” by having a child and then getting married. They seemed to think it was funny. Our diocese had a special Retreat for Widowed, Cohabitating and those who had children out of wedlock.The presenters from what I understand were not happy with the way things were going with the sleeping arrangements, but nobody did anything about it. After Sunday Mass, many people left early. My husband and I were one of the six couples who stayed until the very end.
I really hope that things have changed with the attitude of those participating now. It is sad that people do not respect the teachings of the Church on Marriage. One would think that they would have been embarassed to be rooming together at a Church function when they were not married!
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LittleDeb
Guest
That is sad! On our retreat 6 years ago I didn’t even know what room my DH was in! (EDIT: Then he was my dear fiance of course) We said our good-byes downstairs and went up to our separate rooms.
Just personal opinion here. How well people respect Church teaching *while on the retreat *seems to be directly related to how good a witness the religious leader is. The presenting couples can’t have nearly the impact there.
We had a young, devout, very orthodox priest at the weekend in June. He presented Church teaching in such a solid way that he had 12 people lined up around the corner for confession so they could receive the Eucharist at Mass.
Every weekend he is there, the couples are just lit up. We were commenting afterwards (we and the other presenting couples) that when the priests water down Church teaching people run from the Sacraments. Solid teaching, and they line up around the corner! More reason to pray for holy priests to lead us.
While I appreciate that we have good deacons and sisters sometimes leading, it is so nice to have a priest for Confession and Mass. But I will admit, (personal opinion only here) I will take a devout deacon over a watered down priest any day.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
What do you do when everyone’s watered down? Like at the Engagement Encounter I went on.
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LittleDeb
Guest
Wow. Bummer. Engagement Encounter is a different group than Engaged Encounter. For Engaged Encounter I would be able to get you some names to report it to, but for Engagement Encounter, I have no idea.
I would say report it to your bishop and pray for those lost souls… a lot! So sorry it was such a “watery” experience. Maybe you are called to fix the problem in your diocese??
That’s how we got started giving the NFP talks at Engaged Encounter. We saw a void and felt called to fill it.
Blessings in your marriage!
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
Except I am in the Diocese of Erie with Bishop D Trautman (of this fame)I would say report it to your bishop and pray for those lost souls… a lot! So sorry it was such a “watery” experience. Maybe you are called to fix the problem in your diocese??
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LittleDeb
Guest
I’ve seen worse. I’m in the Diocese of Boise. Our former bishop, now in Orange county, is well known on these boards. (Does the Barney Mass ring a bell?) But we all know, let’s not go there anyone!
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
Sorry to resurrect this old thread, but I was thinking as I was re-reading it.
Are NFP classes required in most diocese? I believe it is highly encouraged in mine, but not required. I know other diocese require the couples to actually take the classes.
Shouldn’t additional classes be required as well? IE: classes regarding morality within marriage, and even what is required of the couple to one another and their future children?
There was a book I saw at the library that said “stop planning the wedding and plan your Marriage”, or something like that. Made perfect sense.
The American CC says 6 months in advance- should a lot of things be included in that?
Are NFP classes required in most diocese? I believe it is highly encouraged in mine, but not required. I know other diocese require the couples to actually take the classes.
Shouldn’t additional classes be required as well? IE: classes regarding morality within marriage, and even what is required of the couple to one another and their future children?
There was a book I saw at the library that said “stop planning the wedding and plan your Marriage”, or something like that. Made perfect sense.
The American CC says 6 months in advance- should a lot of things be included in that?
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sacredcello
Guest
These are good questions. I am newly engaged and have discovered that the only requirements at my parish are Engaged Encounter (we are registered to attend in August) and 3 meetings with our priest to plan for the wedding liturgy and to see how we are doing.
I have been studying NFP and my fiance has agreed to practice it once we are married. But, from what I gather, we are in a very small minority. I plan to become a teacher once we have gained some experience with it. If there aren’t enough couples teaching, then what are the priests supposed to do?
Why not offer to teach in your parish if you aren’t already?
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samovila
Guest
I attended the EE in Columbia, too! And I couldn’t agree more. It was a very spiritual weekend and drew us together as a couple. In fact, I have the opposit complaint. The weekend was very spiritual, but didn’t provide enough for us in the areas of communication and dealing with conflict. Some more practical type experiences would have been helpful.
We had a priest participate in several of the parts of the weekend and we had the opportunity to go to confession and had a mass at the end.
As far as your own preparation… I would recommend participating in the sacraments regularly together and praying together. I also recommend the book “For Better…Forever!: A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage” books.google.com/books?id=06ufwPTv6c0C&pg=PP1&dq=inauthor:Gregory+inauthor:K+inauthor
opcak&sig=4WQ1GFLO408ENYLNLY7yk0ZmhN0- Status