Entitled to Confession? Someone was angrily shouting in Church, before Mass

[aspirant]

Brother JR & Aspirant, How would it be possible in a parish that has NO Confessional booth, such as mine?

Arrangements could still be made. All one really needs for confessional-booth-style anonymity is something to block one person’s view of the other. A sheet could be hung up somewhere, the two could sit with a cracked door between them, etc.

 

[JReducation]

Do people feel that anonymity is very important? Since confession is usually always by appointment in Anglican parishes, it is rarely anonymous, and I believe it is not usually anonymous at Orthodox churches. I suppose people are more likely to go if it is anonymous, but it must be harder for the priest to put the confession in context, and give advice?

I underlined that part of your post, because it brings up a very important point. The priest and penitent are not supposed to use confession for counseling, advising or even spiritual direction. That must happen outside of confession. Spiritual Direction, in the Catholic tradition, is a different ministry from the Sacrament of Penance. The priest can give a short suggestion, especially if he has heard your confession several times. After hearing “I accuse myself of shoving my fist in my mother-in-law’s mouth,” seven times, he gets to know you, even if he’s never seen you. Not many people shove their fists into their mother-in-law’s mouth. They may think about it, but not actually do it.

But it is an important point. If you want to do both, confession and spiritual direction, then you have to make an appointment and do it in the priest’s office. Because spiritual direction takes much more than three minutes.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[feargalmac]

I think your lucky to have confessions in your parish. We get general absolution twice a year.

 

[JReducation]

I think your lucky to have confessions in your parish. We get general absolution twice a year.

That’s only allowed when there is no way to hear the confessions. Maybe I don’t understand the circumstances.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[feargalmac]

That’s only allowed when there is no way to hear the confessions. Maybe I don’t understand the circumstances.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

Our priest has told us he’s not interested in our sins. I used to be angry, but now just sad. He’s a good man, but I think he’s been infected by some “New Age” thinking.

 

[Bold_Sexton]

I think he should have been told there are a lot of Catholic Churches and given an invitation to go find another one.

 

[JesuXPIPassio]

Our priest has told us he’s not interested in our sins. I used to be angry, but now just sad. He’s a good man, but I think he’s been infected by some “New Age” thinking.

You might want to complain to your Bishop about that. If he already knows and didn’t fix it, you can complain to the Vatican. That’s awful, really.

Don’t get me wrong – I think everyone’s lives would be easier if a frequent general absolution could be an option. But, it’s not. Christ never promised being a Christian would be easy.

Anyway, I can help you get the contact info for your Bishop then for the Vatican if you want.

 

[sharmin]

There’s no need to behave like that in Our Lord’s house!!! For goodness’ sake, he was in CHURCH, not the supermarket!!!

Sounds like you did the right thing though. God bless xxxx

I agree with everything you said EXCEPT I don’t think that’s appropriate for the supermarket either.

 

[Seatuck]

Have a little charity folks. There may have been some extenuating circumstances. Doesn’t excuse the behavior any but there might have been a reason for the unusual reaction.

 

[JReducation]

Our priest has told us he’s not interested in our sins. I used to be angry, but now just sad. He’s a good man, but I think he’s been infected by some “New Age” thinking.

He doesn’t have to be interested in your sin. He just has to be interested in your soul. The whole purpose of direct confession is to get to know the person’s soul. If he’s a secular priest, his bishop needs to know this and if he’s a religious, his superior should be informed. Maybe ask him for one-on-one confession and see what he says. If he’s a good guy, he may just do it.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[PatriceA]

Sounds like the man was/is in desperate need of our prayers. I can’t help but wonder what happened in that man’s life that has hurt him so much to make him act out like that. He sounds like he was in a lot of pain, emotionally.

 

[JReducation]

Sounds like the man was/is in desperate need of our prayers. I can’t help but wonder what happened in that man’s life that has hurt him so much to make him act out like that. He sounds like he was in a lot of pain, emotionally.

If I may make a suggestion, let’s not psychoanalyze people whom we don’t know, at a distance and based only on one person’s statement. The person who posted can take to heart what you have said and treat this man accordingly and it can be completely wrong. That would lead to confusion and poor communication in their relationship.

Our would limit our comments to the rules and the little information that the poster gives. We know that he has to hear confessions one-on-one. The poster reports that the priest said that he’s not interested in their sins. If he actually said that, it would be interesting to ask him what he means by that. The poster also said that he’s a good man. The poster has positive regard for him. The best thing here is to suggest that the poster try and ask for a one-on-one confession and see what he says. If he’s a good guy, he may just do it.

I’ve met many people who have quirks that have nothing to do with pain, including me.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[ProVobis]

Our would limit our comments to the rules and the little information that the poster gives. We know that he has to hear confessions one-on-one.

Maybe I’m digressing a bit but what are your feelings about people who bring their small kids into confessional with them? Is this even kosher? I squirm when I see this happening.

 

[aspirant]

Maybe ask him for one-on-one confession and see what he says. If he’s a good guy, he may just do it.

I think it’s best to start here, before attempting to go “over his head.”

 

[JReducation]

Maybe I’m digressing a bit but what are your feelings about people who bring their small kids into confessional with them? Is this even kosher? I squirm when I see this happening.

That’s a very good question. There is no ruling against this. And it can be justifiable. If you have to go to confession and you have no safe place to leave your child, you have a duty to protect your child. To ask a young child to sit outside in the church while you go to confession places the child in danger. You may as well confess parental irresponsibility while you’re in the confessional.

Many years ago I was at an older church. The confessionals were the old boxes. One side had the wall taken down so that you could walk in and sit in front of the priest. The other side was left intact. A mom entered into the side with the screen. Of course it’s dark. Everyone could hear the child with her asking, how God was going to find them in the dark. LOL

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[cecilia97]

In hospitals and nursing homes, these ministers seemed to be always around. I know that from visiting my dad last year at those places. Visitors can get communion there too.

As for confession, there may be a little more to the OP story. I’m not saying this is what happened to him, but I (and perhaps all of us here) have been in confession lines where there was someone taking up considerable amount of time in confession. Let’s face it, one or two people taking up ten to fifteen minutes of a priest’s time can very well cause those at the end of the confession lines a lot of grief and anger because those at the end miss out on the sacrament completely. And, here we were, wasting all that time making a good examination of conscience in preparation for the sacrament. It’s not justified I know, but we are human and we do get angry.

I was one of those people taking up a lot of time once…it was the day I came back to the Church. Sure, I should have made an appointment, but I didn’t know that at the time because it had been at least 13 years since my last confession. I just screwed up my courage, prayed to God to help me, and charged into the confessional. I suspected that, if I didn’t go that day, I might never have the courage again.

If someone needs 20 minutes for confession and I am at the end of the line and only need 2 minutes, I should rejoice that we are all prodigal sons coming back to our Father. If I maintain a practice of frequent confession and frequent (ideally daily) examination of conscience, I do not have to feel anxiety at being turned away from the confessional when Father has to say Mass.

Christ chose poor, sinful men to lead His Church. Those men are bound by time constraints. Jesus knows that when He calls His priests. Thanks be to God, we can trust in divine mercy and come back another day.

 

[ProVobis]

Sure, I should have made an appointment, but I didn’t know that at the time because it had been at least 13 years since my last confession. I just screwed up my courage, prayed to God to help me, and charged into the confessional. I suspected that, if I didn’t go that day, I might never have the courage again.

If someone needs 20 minutes for confession

I know I don’t have to but when I make an appointment for confession, I usually specify the approximate time I’ll need. I had gone without confession for 20 years and told the retreat center that as I asked for a priest. But I understand those who might want to confess as soon as they see a priest enter the confessional. I see that at Sunday Mass all the time.

 

[JimG]

I was one of those people taking up a lot of time once…it was the day I came back to the Church. Sure, I should have made an appointment, but I didn’t know that at the time because it had been at least 13 years since my last confession. I just screwed up my courage, prayed to God to help me, and charged into the confessional. I suspected that, if I didn’t go that day, I might never have the courage again.

If someone needs 20 minutes for confession and I am at the end of the line and only need 2 minutes, I should rejoice that we are all prodigal sons coming back to our Father. If I maintain a practice of frequent confession and frequent (ideally daily) examination of conscience, I do not have to feel anxiety at being turned away from the confessional when Father has to say Mass.

Christ chose poor, sinful men to lead His Church. Those men are bound by time constraints. Jesus knows that when He calls His priests. Thanks be to God, we can trust in divine mercy and come back another day.

Thanks for telling that story. It’s one I’ll keep in mind when I’m at the back of the confessional line. Sometimes you just have to seize the opportunity, and you did.

 

[benedictgal]

Have a little charity folks. There may have been some extenuating circumstances. Doesn’t excuse the behavior any but there might have been a reason for the unusual reaction.

That is definitely something to think about because we do not know what was happening in that individual’s particular situation. Maybe there really was a pressing need. Granted, he overreacted, but, he may have had a valid reason.

 

[lovemyboys]

OP, you were so kind-- the man probably looked hateful because he had embarrassed himself so much. He didn’t know how to process kindness at that moment.

The man shouldn’t have acted this way, but I do wish there could be more confession times. My church has a once/month service. Considering there are people committing mortal sins every day, it seems cruel to have Reconciliation only once per month.

This makes me think of something I read on this site (with regard to the scrupulous, I believe) that said if a person were to die (even in a state of mortal sin) with the PLAN of going to confession, he will be forgiven.

Do you guys think that’s true?