Ephesians 5:31-33

[jgciamarra]

Can you please help me understand this scripture: Ephesians 5:31-33…

31
“For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

My future daughter-in-law is using this scripture to suggest that our son shouldn’t spend as much time with us, which I don’t believe is the intent of this scripture. I understand that he will be taking a wife and she should be his second priority after his relationship with God, but I don’t think God intends our children to completely separate themselves from their parents when they get married. Right? Please help me understand the intent of this scripture.

Thank you for your help and God bless.

 

[teachccd]

This scripture emphasizes the unity within a marriage. Such hyperbole is used throughout Scripture to stress the importance of certain issues. Ask your future daughter-in-law if she would consider cutting off her hand or plucking out her eye should they cause her to sin? Many use Scripture to their advantage and completely miss its message.

Tell your son to have his future wife give you another reason why she doesn’t want to have to see you. This one doesn’t fly…God Bless and good luck…teachccd

 

[Verbum]

Hi jg,

My future daughter-in-law is using this scripture to suggest that our son** shouldn’t spend as much time with us**,

Your future daughter-in-law is saying that, after marriage, your son’s family and priority will be the new unit : husband, wife and whatever children may come. This certainly means that he would not spend as much time with you as he does now. Instead of criticizing your future d.i.l, you should make your son understand that he is going into a completely new life and it’s about time he cut the umbilical cord. Meddling of in-laws and undue attachment to one’s native family is a primary cause of conjugal discord, separation and divorce.

Verbum

 

[Jason_W]

Dont hesitate to point to the comandment " Thou shalt honour thy Mother and Father" Indeed he will leave your care, and the two of them hopefully will be a mother and father of their own. but since they have become one flesh, that means you are a mother to her also and she should respect you as she would her own mother.

 

[choose_to_love]

I think it’s very difficult to comment on this post without a little more insight into what the OP means by “as much” time with us, how that time is spent, etc.

Early in our marriage, we were heavily involved in my bride’s family issues, and associated alcoholism and control issues. Every trip for dinner turned into a two hour debriefing in our driveway at home after visiting. My brother-in-law, for instance, was having alcohol issues, my M-I-L was upset but would not change any practice or seek any help, etc. It was not good for our family, i.e. my bride and I, and we did have to distance ourselves from that.

So perhaps the OP can tell us more from the parents’ perspective to see if appropriate boundaries are being respected.

 

[teachccd]

Obviuously when a couple gets married each cannot spend the same amount of time as before with their parents. They do become a separate family unit especially when children come into the picture. But I still have a problem with the use of Scripture as a means to “solve” a problem that should be faced with reality. The reality is that when they get married they spend most of their time together but do not neglect their parents. They need to figure out what is adequate for their situation and stick with that. Ephesians 5:31-33 is giving a message of the unity which takes place in marriage and is not meant to manipulate families into how much time is spent with who…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

I understand that he will be taking a wife and she should be his second priority after his relationship with God, but I don’t think God intends our children to completely separate themselves from their parents when they get married. Right? Please help me understand the intent of this scripture.

Thank you for your help and God bless.

Many of the previous posters did not read your post carefully. They want you to give them the information that you supplied here. You acknowledge that his wife is his second priority next to God and you mention “completely separate” as to how much time she wishes your son to have with you. So, again, I believe that your future daughter-in-law may be using Scripture to “prove” a way to remove your presence from them.

Only you know if you are meddling in-laws and if she is justified in running from you. They do need a life of their own but they should still honor you and see you when they can. But using Scripture here seems like either it’s her last straw to depart from you or she just wants your son all to herself and can’t find an alternate way to say it…teachccd

 

[po18guy]

Can you please help me understand this scripture: Ephesians 5:31-33…

31
“For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

My future daughter-in-law is using this scripture to suggest that our son shouldn’t spend as much time with us, which I don’t believe is the intent of this scripture. I understand that he will be taking a wife and she should be his second priority after his relationship with God, but I don’t think God intends our children to completely separate themselves from their parents when they get married. Right? Please help me understand the intent of this scripture.

Thank you for your help and God bless.

Frankly, it sounds like a touch of jealousy, which could be expected, but it must have its limits. It would be far healthier for the two of you to carefully, perhaps slowly, develop a close relationship. She may fear that your son is a “momma’s boy” or otherwise too attached to home and thus be overcompensating the in other direction. Her concern may also be based in a lack of self-confidence at this point.

If you’re Latin, she must just get used to it!

 

[Jimdandy]

Can you please help me understand this scripture: Ephesians 5:31-33…

31
“For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
32
This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.
33
In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

My future daughter-in-law is using this scripture to suggest that our son shouldn’t spend as much time with us, which I don’t believe is the intent of this scripture. I understand that he will be taking a wife and she should be his second priority after his relationship with God, but I don’t think God intends our children to completely separate themselves from their parents when they get married. Right? Please help me understand the intent of this scripture.

Thank you for your help and God bless.

A married couple becomes one unit which works with God to create life and as a family, adore and love God with their whole heart.
A better question might be why your future DIL is questioning the time your son spends with you now-if they are not married yet, and also, does she spend large amounts of time with her family?

Does your future DIL feel as if she is a part of your family now?