Evangelical in-laws trying to kill us, need advice

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eleutheria

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I’m looking for some advice. My husband and I are joining the Catholic church at Easter, and we told my husband’s parents about three weeks ago. We both come from an evangelical background, and his parents are evangelicals as well. We live in the same town and we occasionally visit and have a pretty decent relationship for the most part. We’ve only been married for about a year and a half, but have been together for six years, and we’re in our mid-20s (so we’re definitely still figuring out this whole adult thing!)

When we told them, they were shocked but things weren’t too bad. They asked us some questions and we were very nervous and answered as best as we could, but we survived. But then this weekend, they invited us over to “chat” and decided to essentially lecture us. Not only did they tell us that they couldn’t understand what they did to force us into Catholicism, but they they were concerned that we were “backsliding” and “putting up stumbling blocks to Jesus”. They wanted to know what was “missing” in our church and why we had to go “seeking new spirituality, when Christ is enough”.

They kept asking us why we wanted to worship the Pope or Priests or Mary, why we didn’t think Jesus was enough to get to Heaven, why we prayed to dead people and not God, why we thought we could buy our way into heaven and other common misunderstandings about Catholicism.

When we tried to answer, well, it was maddening, lol. For example, my FIL asked, “why do you worship a priest?” and after almost two hours explaining that we don’t, again, “but I don’t understand why you feel you need to worship a priest”. My MIL brought up the topic of Jesus having brothers, and we talked about the different views, and how this has been a debated topic, and even in the bottom of her Bible, the footnotes said the same thing. I thought it was going fantastically, until the very end when she said said something like, “well, my Bible says “brother” so it must mean he had brothers, why don’t you believe the Bible?”

They won’t accept any historical evidence that’s not spelled out in the Bible, and they’re very illogical. For example, I asked if they thought it was possible that the word “brethren/brother” could have several meanings, and they said “yes” and then I said, “well, is it possible then that it does in this case?” “No, the Bible says otherwise.” (Is there a smiley for pulls out hair?? Lol)

So, obviously even though the conversations are fairly civil, we’re getting no where. We can’t even get on the same page. And frankly, they don’t really even know the evangelical view of things very well, let alone trying to learn the Catholic…

And now they want us to come over to their house every single Sunday afternoon for Bible studies, because they’re “curious and just want to learn”, despite the fact that they already said they fear for our salvation.

Fact is, there is no way we’re doing this… lol. But, seriously, we do want to be open and be able to talk about these things, but we’re so beyond frustrated. We’ve only talked on two occasions and I’m literally exhausted. After I got home yesterday, I was physically sick (I’m not very good with being put on the spot). We’ve probably attempted to cover thousands of years of church history in less than eight hours and I simply do not have the energy to continue. We’re still very new and we’re not even Catholic yet-- I sort of feel like I want some time to process it all myself, ya know? My husband feels the same way.

Anyway… advice? We would prefer to just make this topic off-limits altogether, but I’m not sure that’s really the most Christian thing to do here. I mean, who knows? Maybe some of it will teach them. But on the other hand, they’re not really hearing us or respecting us. UGH! They’re not being cruel or disowning us or anything, but they’re definitely making this entirely too stressful.

Oh, I forgot something. They keep insisting that the only reason that we could possibly be going to the Catholic church is that think we need “ritualism” to be closer to God, and because my husband was “raised Presbyterian” (he doesn’t even remember the Presbyterian church they went to when he was small), despite the fact that we told them that we’re going because of the theological truth (i.e. church authority and Eucharist being the biggest two.) In fact, the rituals have been the hardest thing for us to adjust to, lol, so I’m so very sure that we didn’t set out seeking them! But they don’t believe us.

And I’m not sure if this is applicable, but I’ll throw it out there anyway. My husband and I have already had to set some boundaries with them in the past. We’ve been together for 6 years and before getting married, we used to go over to their home every Sunday after church, but we stopped that because it was just too much for us. Well, now we go about once a month (which personally, my husband still thinks is way too much, lol, and frankly, I only see my family once a year, so I’m inclined to agree) and I think it’s fair enough, and every single time (every.single.time.) we go over there, they lecture us about how we don’t visit them nearly enough.

Ugh. Anyone??? :eek:
 
Eleutheria,

I am sorry you are having such problems with the in-laws… It is certainly difficult to try to defend the Faith, but luckily you are in the correct place! This is a great start to learn apologetics (defending and explaining the Faith). There are even some Faith tracts dealing especially with Fundamentalist/Evangelicals. The Bible Christian Society website has many mp3’s on various subjects, and go much more in-depth than I could ever try on my own.

I would like to specifically point out the tract here on Catholic Answers that deals with Jesus’s siblings (Mary, Ever Virgin, and Brethern of the Lord). I would also point out to your inlaws the passages in Sacred Scripture dealing with tradition (2 Tim. 2:2 and 2 Thessalonians 2:15 are two that come right off the top of my head). If they hold to a “only the Bible” viewpoint (which I assume they might), ask them to point the verse where it says that only Sacred Scripture is nesscessary. This website does a much better job of explaining this than I could.

In all things, stand firm to what you and your DH have come to belive and know to be true. I would suggest, at least until you and your husband are a bit more grounded in the Faith, to politely decline the invitation for Sunday afternoon Bible study. You are not obligated to give any reason for this.

I will be praying for you and your husband (and your in-laws). Welcome home, and may you, in learning how to defend the Faith, grow stronger in it.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
Yep, time to learn Scriptural Aplologetics.

Do not cut the parents off, it will seem as if you ARE going into a cult or that you are ashamed of what you do.

DO lay down some ground rules (your husband should do this, as they are his parents). You will not fight. You will not accept “the Catholic Church says this, I know it because my brother’s cousin’s hairdresser was raised Catholic and she says so”.

And, you get to pick the topic of discussion.

Begin with this:

ninevehscrossing.com/Order-CommonGround.html

There is a study guide on line.
 
Thank you for all of the links!

I actually think we’re okay on trying to defend our faith. We’re new, definitely, but we’re both huge readers and did a lot of research before we even started going to Mass, so we’re actually not doing too bad with this, and I probably have at least 50 resources bookmarked, and I’ve read every single tract at this site and so much of the library as a whole.

It’s more the fact that we feel like we’re talking to a wall, and they’re really illogical and they ask the same questions over and over again, because they think we haven’t answered them, even though we (just.spent.two.hours.talking.about.it.) did.

When I said that they don’t accept anything outside of Scripture historically, I meant they don’t accept anything at all, not even what Protestants accept as a rule. I’m not talking about not accepting Tradition (I understand that as I come from the same background), but I’m talking that they won’t accept other historical documents…nothing, not even Bible commentaries (and even though they’ll read the footnotes, they don’t accept them either). And beyond that, they won’t allow us to give them print-outs, or send emails or give them websites or books to read or anything that could possibly help us explain, in any way shape or form. It must be from our own mouths directly or it doesn’t “count”.
 
kage_ar said:
Yep, time to learn Scriptural Aplologetics.

Do not cut the parents off, it will seem as if you ARE going into a cult or that you are ashamed of what you do.

DO lay down some ground rules (your husband should do this, as they are his parents). You will not fight. You will not accept “the Catholic Church says this, I know it because my brother’s cousin’s hairdresser was raised Catholic and she says so”.

And, you get to pick the topic of discussion.

Begin with this:

ninevehscrossing.com/Order-CommonGround.html

There is a study guide on line.
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Thank you. I’ve been to that site before, lots of good stuff there. 🙂

My husband won’t lay down ground rules. He’s scared of his parents. sigh And we don’t fight with them, so that’s not really a problem.
 
It is a blessing to join the church at your young age and before children. Get involved with your church. Set yourself up to be great parents for your children.
 
eleutheria said:
…And now they want us to come over to their house every single Sunday afternoon for Bible studies, because they’re “curious and just want to learn”, despite the fact that they already said they fear for our salvation…

Ugh. Anyone??? :eek:
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Ok, several things.

You’re not under any obligation to discuss this with them, especially if you are new Catholics that don’t have a strong background in the technicalities of the faith yet. You could simply refuse, and that might not be a bad idea.

Alternatively, IF you do decide to take up their invitation to Bible Study (or further discussions on religion), I would set up a few ground rules. First, I would get them the following two books, and politely ask them to read them. Be sure to emphasize to them that you’re in no way trying to convert them, but that this will give them some background on what the Catholic Church actually teaches, not what many people think it teaches, so that you aren’t talking past each other. If they’re truly “curious and just want to learn”, than this shouldn’t be a big issue. The books are “Catholicism for Dummies” by Father John Trigilio and Father Ken Brighenti, and “Four Witnesses: The Early Church in Her Own Words” by Rod Bennett. These wouldn’t be bad books for you to read, either. (By the way, do NOT confuse the first book with the similarly titled “Idiot’s Guide to Catholicism”, which is written from a highly liberal perspective and contains some factual errors!)

Next, I would be sure to ask them to limit the discussion for any given session to just one or two topics. Otherwise, it will become virtually impossible to prepare in advance, and the topic could stray all over the place and degrading into a barrage of attacks rather than an actual debate.

I would also insist that the Bible study alternate between your house and their house, so that you can be on your own turf some of the time. Be exceptionally polite and be good hosts. Perhaps you could even arrange for both of your pastors to be present at one. (People tend to be more civil in front of their pastors). The only problem with this is that if things get exceptionally heated, it’s easier to leave yourself than it is to ask them to leave.

Finally, I’ll add that they sound like they’re genuinely set in their faith, and may not be open to anything you say. It would help to know what their opinion is of the salvation of other Protestants. If they believe that most good Protestants can be saved through Jesus, regardless of denomination, you may have hope of reaching a compromise where they at least acknowledge that Catholics are Christians and aren’t entirely prevented from salvation. That’s how it went with my in-laws (specifically, my wife’s grandparents) when my wife converted to Catholicism from Baptist. They were never sold on Catholicism, but came to agree that Catholics were Christian, they weren’t automatically doomed to hell, and that some may be “saved”.
 
Ok, you posted again before I responded so now I realize that some of what I wrote probably won’t work for you. You may want to attempt the “origin of the Bible” angle. Invest in the ultimate prop… a Bible in the original languages… Hebrew for the Old Testament and Greek for the New Testament. Then open it up and ask them to discuss the passages. When they can’t read it, you can delve into the translation issue. You may want to bring a book of Gnostic or Apocraphyal works and ask them why they aren’t included in the Bible. Where exactly DID Christians in the first and second centuries get their information about Christianity if there wasn’t a complete New Testament yet? How was the Bible codified? Discuss the CATHOLIC councils of Carthage, Hippo, and Rome. There’s plenty of ways to work this angle…
 
As they’re not listening and you’ve already explained the best you can many times over, perhaps it’s time to say with the greatest courtesy that you are glad to see them, but the topic of religion is out of bounds. You ask them to respect your decision and choices. You are both adults and you have your own life. If they won’t even listen to the answers for the questions they ask, there is no point in subecting yourself to this stress. This might for the time being be a case what Jesus’ mentioned about not “casting pearls before” those who aren’t open to appreciating them.

Perhaps when they get over their initial shock they may be more open…to even just listen and understand… but they do sound extremely fundamentalist. I don’t believe that anyone has the right to impose their beliefs on others. Pray for them, as you undoubtedly do. I hope that things improve.

If you allow your parent-in-law to believe they have the right to challenge your faith, and try to use manipulative ways like suddenly having bible meetings to draw you around to their way of thinking, you are giving them permission, or precedent, for doing the same to your children when you have little ones.
 
I would suggest that you continue to be kind and loving to them and very patient, and also, pray for them.

My husband and I were born and raised evangelical Protestant, and our relatives were shocked when we informed them that we were converting to Catholicism 2004).

But now–their churches are falling into all kinds of liberal ways, and the theology is becoming more and more liberal. The last time we talked about religion, my father-in-law told us that he enjoys listening to Father Korapi on the radio because he teaches the Bible.

I think that a lot of evangelical Protestants eventually run into problems in their churches. Many evangelicals can testify that they have been through a “church split.” These are extremely painful and often result in evangelical Christians remaining “churchless” for a long period of time because they are too discouraged and afraid to start church shopping again. (My parents-in-law were caught up in a scandal in their church, and after they left, they didn’t return to any church for fourteen years.)

Another problem that evangelical Protestants run into is mushy theology, worldly practices, and other liberal tendencies creeping and eventually flooding into their churches. Some evangelicals first discover this when they approach their pastor about a pro-life project, and discover to their dismay that the pastor is pro-choice and that their church does not condemn abortion as evil.

This is so devastating for evangelical Christians who THOUGHT that their church was Biblical!

Another terrible thing that happens in all churches, but it’s very bad in evangelical churches, is when one or more of the “leaders” falls into sin. Oooh, it’s bad. He or she is driven out of the church and shunned. If your parents happened to like that person, they are stunned and horrified by this treatment of someone who was once “one of them.”

Continue to be there for your parents–be their “rock” and soften them up with your love and good will. Then they go through one of these heartbreaks in their church, they might be more open to the Catholic Church.
 
Rolltide said:
Ok, several things.

You’re not under any obligation to discuss this with them, especially if you are new Catholics that don’t have a strong background in the technicalities of the faith yet. You could simply refuse, and that might not be a bad idea.

Alternatively, IF you do decide to take up their invitation to Bible Study (or further discussions on religion), I would set up a few ground rules. First, I would get them the following two books, and politely ask them to read them. Be sure to emphasize to them that you’re in no way trying to convert them, but that this will give them some background on what the Catholic Church actually teaches, not what many people think it teaches, so that you aren’t talking past each other. If they’re truly “curious and just want to learn”, than this shouldn’t be a big issue. The books are “Catholicism for Dummies” by Father John Trigilio and Father Ken Brighenti, and “Four Witnesses: The Early Church in Her Own Words” by Rod Bennett. These wouldn’t be bad books for you to read, either. (By the way, do NOT confuse the first book with the similarly titled “Idiot’s Guide to Catholicism”, which is written from a highly liberal perspective and contains some factual errors!)

Next, I would be sure to ask them to limit the discussion for any given session to just one or two topics. Otherwise, it will become virtually impossible to prepare in advance, and the topic could stray all over the place and degrading into a barrage of attacks rather than an actual debate.

I would also insist that the Bible study alternate between your house and their house, so that you can be on your own turf some of the time. Be exceptionally polite and be good hosts. Perhaps you could even arrange for both of your pastors to be present at one. (People tend to be more civil in front of their pastors). The only problem with this is that if things get exceptionally heated, it’s easier to leave yourself than it is to ask them to leave.

Finally, I’ll add that they sound like they’re genuinely set in their faith, and may not be open to anything you say. It would help to know what their opinion is of the salvation of other Protestants. If they believe that most good Protestants can be saved through Jesus, regardless of denomination, you may have hope of reaching a compromise where they at least acknowledge that Catholics are Christians and aren’t entirely prevented from salvation. That’s how it went with my in-laws (specifically, my wife’s grandparents) when my wife converted to Catholicism from Baptist. They were never sold on Catholicism, but came to agree that Catholics were Christian, they weren’t automatically doomed to hell, and that some may be “saved”.
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Thank you very much for your wonderful reply. 🙂

Regarding the books… I have the first one and I’ve read all three, so that’s definitely a possibility. However, I don’t think they’ll accept. I’ll still try, but we already offered a few links online, asking them to read them, and they simply refused saying that they wanted to hear the faith in our own words and not someone doing it for us. I think I said it somewhere above, but they simply will not accept any other documentation outside of our own mouths and reading the Bible.

Regarding salvation… They believe that all those who go to Jesus are saved, but they believe that all liturgical churches are stumbling blocks to going to Jesus. Not just Catholicism. They said that all liturgical Protestant churches are just essentially Catholic-lite and that evangelical non-denominational churches are the most Bible-based. They believe that yes, you can get to Jesus outside of their denomination, but that it’s really difficult and that someone who “once had the truth” (us) who goes to Catholicism, is “backsliding”.

Regarding the Pastors… that’s a pretty good idea. I definitely don’t want to do the Bible study thing at all, to be honest, lol, but still something to keep in mind. I’m not really worried about getting heated though, because I’ve never seen them so much as raise their voice (and we don’t either) and things stay very calm. In fact, things are more likely to not get deep enough, than to get too deep. They tend to back out of anything once it actually reaches anything beyond a superficial level of discussion, because they believe it “complicates” things and it’s “too intense”.
 
Rolltide said:
Ok, you posted again before I responded so now I realize that some of what I wrote probably won’t work for you. You may want to attempt the “origin of the Bible” angle. Invest in the ultimate prop… a Bible in the original languages… Hebrew for the Old Testament and Greek for the New Testament. Then open it up and ask them to discuss the passages. When they can’t read it, you can delve into the translation issue. You may want to bring a book of Gnostic or Apocraphyal works and ask them why they aren’t included in the Bible. Where exactly DID Christians in the first and second centuries get their information about Christianity if there wasn’t a complete New Testament yet? How was the Bible codified? Discuss the CATHOLIC councils of Carthage, Hippo, and Rome. There’s plenty of ways to work this angle…
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Ooo… interesting idea. Thank you.
 
eleutheria said:
😃

I’m looking for some advice. My husband and I are joining the Catholic church at Easter, and we told my husband’s parents about three weeks ago. We both come from an evangelical background, and his parents are evangelicals as well. We live in the same town and we occasionally visit and have a pretty decent relationship for the most part. We’ve only been married for about a year and a half, but have been together for six years, and we’re in our mid-20s (so we’re definitely still figuring out this whole adult thing!)

When we told them, they were shocked but things weren’t too bad. They asked us some questions and we were very nervous and answered as best as we could, but we survived. But then this weekend, they invited us over to “chat” and decided to essentially lecture us. Not only did they tell us that they couldn’t understand what they did to force us into Catholicism, but they they were concerned that we were “backsliding” and “putting up stumbling blocks to Jesus”. They wanted to know what was “missing” in our church and why we had to go “seeking new spirituality, when Christ is enough”.

They kept asking us why we wanted to worship the Pope or Priests or Mary, why we didn’t think Jesus was enough to get to Heaven, why we prayed to dead people and not God, why we thought we could buy our way into heaven and other common misunderstandings about Catholicism.

When we tried to answer, well, it was maddening, lol. For example, my FIL asked, “why do you worship a priest?” and after almost two hours explaining that we don’t, again, “but I don’t understand why you feel you need to worship a priest”. My MIL brought up the topic of Jesus having brothers, and we talked about the different views, and how this has been a debated topic, and even in the bottom of her Bible, the footnotes said the same thing. I thought it was going fantastically, until the very end when she said said something like, “well, my Bible says “brother” so it must mean he had brothers, why don’t you believe the Bible?”

They won’t accept any historical evidence that’s not spelled out in the Bible, and they’re very illogical. For example, I asked if they thought it was possible that the word “brethren/brother” could have several meanings, and they said “yes” and then I said, “well, is it possible then that it does in this case?” “No, the Bible says otherwise.” (Is there a smiley for pulls out hair?? Lol)

So, obviously even though the conversations are fairly civil, we’re getting no where. We can’t even get on the same page. And frankly, they don’t really even know the evangelical view of things very well, let alone trying to learn the Catholic…

And now they want us to come over to their house every single Sunday afternoon for Bible studies, because they’re “curious and just want to learn”, despite the fact that they already said they fear for our salvation.

Fact is, there is no way we’re doing this… lol. But, seriously, we do want to be open and be able to talk about these things, but we’re so beyond frustrated. We’ve only talked on two occasions and I’m literally exhausted. After I got home yesterday, I was physically sick (I’m not very good with being put on the spot). We’ve probably attempted to cover thousands of years of church history in less than eight hours and I simply do not have the energy to continue. We’re still very new and we’re not even Catholic yet-- I sort of feel like I want some time to process it all myself, ya know? My husband feels the same way.

Anyway… advice? We would prefer to just make this topic off-limits altogether, but I’m not sure that’s really the most Christian thing to do here. I mean, who knows? Maybe some of it will teach them. But on the other hand, they’re not really hearing us or respecting us. UGH! They’re not being cruel or disowning us or anything, but they’re definitely making this entirely too stressful.

Oh, I forgot something. They keep insisting that the only reason that we could possibly be going to the Catholic church is that think we need “ritualism” to be closer to God, and because my husband was “raised Presbyterian” (he doesn’t even remember the Presbyterian church they went to when he was small), despite the fact that we told them that we’re going because of the theological truth (i.e. church authority and Eucharist being the biggest two.) In fact, the rituals have been the hardest thing for us to adjust to, lol, so I’m so very sure that we didn’t set out seeking them! But they don’t believe us.

And I’m not sure if this is applicable, but I’ll throw it out there anyway. My husband and I have already had to set some boundaries with them in the past. We’ve been together for 6 years and before getting married, we used to go over to their home every Sunday after church, but we stopped that because it was just too much for us. Well, now we go about once a month (which personally, my husband still thinks is way too much, lol, and frankly, I only see my family once a year, so I’m inclined to agree) and I think it’s fair enough, and every single time (every.single.time.) we go over there, they lecture us about how we don’t visit them nearly enough.

Ugh. Anyone??? :eek:
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A word of advice to the wise. When you’re a novice, as you and your husband are to the Catholic faith, you need time and space.

There is nothing wrong with telling your families that you would love to discuss this at a later date when you have had time to be alone with your own thoughts as a couple.

If they can’t respect your need to be alone as a couple, then you have bigger problems than religion.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
Trishie said:
As they’re not listening and you’ve already explained the best you can many times over, perhaps it’s time to say with the greatest courtesy that you are glad to see them, but the topic of religion is out of bounds. You ask them to respect your decision and choices. You are both adults and you have your own life. If they won’t even listen to the answers for the questions they ask, there is no point in subecting yourself to this stress. This might for the time being be a case what Jesus’ mentioned about not “casting pearls before” those who aren’t open to appreciating them.
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I am wondering if this isn’t the case for us. It’s only been a few occasions though, so I feel like I’m being presumptious to think this, but it’s already so stressful that I can’t imagine more.
Perhaps when they get over their initial shock they may be more open…to even just listen and understand… but they do sound extremely fundamentalist. I don’t believe that anyone has the right to impose their beliefs on others. Pray for them, as you undoubtedly do. I hope that things improve.
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Maybe it will be better after the initial shock. And yes, they are very fundamentalist.
If you allow your parent-in-law to believe they have the right to challenge your faith, and try to use manipulative ways like suddenly having bible meetings to draw you around to their way of thinking, you are giving them permission, or precedent, for doing the same to your children when you have little ones.
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This is the part where I’m not sure I know what to do about. I definitely agree with you, but I’m not sure I know what to do about it, how to handle it. Any suggestions?
 
Cat said:
I would suggest that you continue to be kind and loving to them and very patient, and also, pray for them.

My husband and I were born and raised evangelical Protestant, and our relatives were shocked when we informed them that we were converting to Catholicism 2004).

But now–their churches are falling into all kinds of liberal ways, and the theology is becoming more and more liberal. The last time we talked about religion, my father-in-law told us that he enjoys listening to Father Korapi on the radio because he teaches the Bible.

I think that a lot of evangelical Protestants eventually run into problems in their churches. Many evangelicals can testify that they have been through a “church split.” These are extremely painful and often result in evangelical Christians remaining “churchless” for a long period of time because they are too discouraged and afraid to start church shopping again. (My parents-in-law were caught up in a scandal in their church, and after they left, they didn’t return to any church for fourteen years.)

Another problem that evangelical Protestants run into is mushy theology, worldly practices, and other liberal tendencies creeping and eventually flooding into their churches. Some evangelicals first discover this when they approach their pastor about a pro-life project, and discover to their dismay that the pastor is pro-choice and that their church does not condemn abortion as evil.

This is so devastating for evangelical Christians who THOUGHT that their church was Biblical!

Another terrible thing that happens in all churches, but it’s very bad in evangelical churches, is when one or more of the “leaders” falls into sin. Oooh, it’s bad. He or she is driven out of the church and shunned. If your parents happened to like that person, they are stunned and horrified by this treatment of someone who was once “one of them.”

Continue to be there for your parents–be their “rock” and soften them up with your love and good will. Then they go through one of these heartbreaks in their church, they might be more open to the Catholic Church.
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I’ve been an evangelical protestant for my whole life (up until now!) and I’ve actually never been in a church with any of these issues or in one with a church split. In fact, I’ve always attended very amazing churches and have been very blessed. The church my in-laws attend is the church I’ve been attending for four years now and it’s pretty amazing. The preacher has no issues with speaking boldly or compromising or anything like that. The whole church is very very pro-life. (Actually, the Catholic view of sex as a whole is something that I’ve always believed and that most Protestants I know believe, even about birth control, oddly enough.)
 
eleutheria said:
Ooo… interesting idea. Thank you.
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Other ways to work Catholicism into this angle…

Just about the time St. Jerome came up with the first Latin translation of the Bible (a language that people of the western Roman empire could actually read), the Roman empire fell. Literacy in western Europe plummeted to less than 1%. Even if Bibles had been common, how were they going to study them? Well, the Catholic Church had to teach it pictorally, adding stained glass images, statues, paintings, and icons to visually represent the stories from the Bible. The priest could then point to the various scenes as he was reading scripture, and ordinary people could learn. Fancy churches with “graven images” were actually creative and necessary tools used to teach the faith.

Now, they might respond that even if the people were literate, the church wouldn’t have allowed them to read the Bible, which they kept chained up. Well, this is partially true in the sense that ALL books were chained up at that time due to the expense. Does the phone company chain up the Yellow Pages at your local phone booth because they DON’T want you to refer to it, or to ensure that it’s there for you to use? Paper hadn’t been invented yet, only parchment, which was made from animal skins. A single baby calf could only produce about four usable pages for a Bible, so a whole herd might have to be slaughtered to make a single book. Further, the entire book had to be copied by hand at great expense. It’s estimated that in today’s dollars, a single Bible could cost, on average, over $40,000, making them a prime target for thieves. No wonder books were always chained down. They were virtually irreplaceable.
 
JReducation said:
A word of advice to the wise. When you’re a novice, as you and your husband are to the Catholic faith, you need time and space.

There is nothing wrong with telling your families that you would love to discuss this at a later date when you have had time to be alone with your own thoughts as a couple.

If they can’t respect your need to be alone as a couple, then you have bigger problems than religion.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
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I think that they’re wanting to “stop us before it’s too late”, since they know the dates of joining the church and the rites. I wonder if we can get through that, so they know we’re serious, that they’ll calm a bit.

They don’t really respect our need to be alone as a couple, as they want us over at their house 5+ times a week and continuously beg us to come over and when we do come over, they tell us we need to come over more. (We probably go anywhere from once a week to once a month, depending on the month and holidays and things.)
 
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