BlestOne, thank you for the reply.
It is very obvious that you are not slamming me, you were merely stating your opinion (as you should do in a forum!).
I don’t think I am confusing perception for reality. I think our disagreement comes from something a bit more fundamental.
Do you believe that
everything the Church says is true? If you ask me that, my reply is both a yes and a no. I believe the Church to be infallible. But I also believe it to make mistakes (as we will all agree it has throughout history… though i’d prefer not to dwell on this).
There are things that have never changed and will never change within the Catholic Church. Some of these are stated in the dogmas and in that part of the mass where you state what you believe in (i’m sorry, english is not my first language and I don’t attend mass in english…but I mean the part of mass when you say something like “I believe in one God only, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth” and so on…).
Now, if the Pope says that the Limbo exists or doesn’t exist you don’t really have to believe that, I think. Moreover, even our perception of right and wrong evolves with time. Slavery is now perceived as being wrong, for example. Defending that women should be quiet and be submissive to their husbands is no longer defended by the great majority (even though you read in the Bible otherwise… because it was written in a different context).
I’m not saying the Bible is wrong or that the truth changes, no way. I’m saying our perception of the truth changes for the better. The Church grows in time, with the help of the Spirit. And in some things, the Church actually realises it was wrong. Something like the catechism is not a dogma. And some parts of it will change with time. The Church learns and improves as humanity also does.
Of course I also believe the Church is infallible. There are some truths that are not discussable. If you are a catholic, you accept them. If you don’t accept them, you are a not a catholic. At least that is how I see it.
Is the Church’s position on homossexuality a fundamental truth or something that you can discuss? I would say that it is definitely the later. Many theologians disagree with the Pope and Benedictus XVI discusses with them as equals (and as catholics), not as inferiors or lesser catholics. So my first point here is that you **can *
be a catholic and have a relationship with someone of your own gender if you believe that that is right for you.
I believe that this is an issue in which the person’s own conscience plays a fundamental role, as actually the Church teaches you should do when you disagree with its teachings.
And now I go to your second question: “Why would you feel more “useful to society” in your relationship?”. It is not because of the sex and I definitely do not feel defined by my sexuality (I see it as a minor detail. I wouldn’t think much about it if I weren’t constantly reminded of it…). I would be in the same relationship I am now with or without sex**, because of the feelings I have and of the life project I share. It is because I love and feel loved, I better myself and others. I make someone else happy by sharing my life with him and this completes me. Naturally, I am much nicer to other people when I feel good with myself (though I always try to be nice). The only alternative that the Church would offer me is to be single. Now, who would benefit from me being grumpy?
There are many benefits of people being in monogamous commiting relationships, I think. If I don’t see anything morally wrong with monogamous same-sex relationships, then naturally I will encourage gay people to find someone to love and to uphold the highest moral standards. And because of what I’ve said before, I believe I can do that and still call myself a catholic.
- Naturally, I defend that there is nothing morally wrong with a gay person having a relationship with someone of the same gender per se. Of course, if they are promiscuous or otherwise not in line with the teachings of Jesus, of course I say it is wrong. But being same-sex per se does not constitute a sin in my view.
** heck, sex is great, everyone knows even if it’s only hearsay, but it’s not thaaat important. You can live without it.
That said, your own personal example definitely shows coherence and good personal qualities. I’m glad you were able to give a good example for your kids.
And I think it is visible in your post that your experience made you into a person that can understand others (I’m not saying agree with, just understand
).
I also know how suffering can have a part in making people better. I’ve had my fair share of suffering and it definitely improved me as a person. But we should not go out and look for suffering, I think. We should stand it if we morally have to, as you did. Morally, I do not feel obliged not to be in a relationship.
