I’d define it as “engaged in the process of sanctification”. Sanctification is something I would tie strongly to the Great Commandment of loving God and loving neighbor. Therefore, if the church in question is holy, it would be something that noticeably and steadily transforms hearts and minds, redirecting them toward love of God and neighbor.
How would you define it?
My friend, I think you are putting too much thought into it.
To be Holy is to be separated from death to have life in Christ. As Peter says here:
1 Peter 1:13 Therefore gird up your minds, be sober, set your hope fully upon the grace that is coming to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 17 And if you invoke as Father him who judges each one impartially according to his deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile. 18 You know that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your fathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was destined before the foundation of the world but was made manifest at the end of the times for your sake. 21 Through him you have confidence in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.
22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere love of the brethren, love one another earnestly from the heart. 23 You have been born anew, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; 24 for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers, and the flower falls,
25 but the word of the Lord abides for ever.”
That word is the good news which was preached to you.
When we get caught up in all this terms and definitions (justification, sanctification, glorification, et. al.), we lose sight of what is truly important: Christ.
While it is good to know and understand, the moment we start to drift away from a Christ centered argument we have lost that battle even if we win that argument.
So to be holy is not because of who or what we are, but because it is what we are called to be because Christ has singled us out. We enter then a process of turning away (repent) from our old ways and our old lives to learn how to live under Christ’s commands and for God’s purpose and in accordance to His Will, and more importantly for His Glory.
That doesn’t meant that we are immediately transformed, some will be transformed faster than others. Some will not be transformed at all and sadly turn away from our Lord’s Graces.
Keeping this in mind, John tells us:
1 John 1:5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him is no darkness[d] at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not live according to the truth; 7 but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
We are sinners, all of us. Very few will grow stronger in the Faith, where sin will become a minimal part of their lives. The majority of us will struggle with sin but we will be able to overcome a significant part through Christ our Lord, others will struggle enormously and will have unending battles with sin. But still… we have been called out by Christ and that separates us from death as long as we obey His commands. And when we fail to obey them we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation to restore that relationship with Him, which is part of His commandments as well.
Now when you say:
Because it looked “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic”. And because of the sacraments.
But I found it terribly divided, not any holier than any other church, hardly universal, and apostolic succession didn’t seem so important after reading the NT again and seeing Peter needing correcting by Paul.
As to the sacaments, they didn’t seem to work. If they were effective channels of grace, we should all be a lot holier I’d think. I sure wasn’t.
Hope that doesn’t sound too sharp. Just trying to be honest about it.
I find that you passed on an opportunity to make a difference. If that Church you attended was not living up to your expectations, you needed to meet with the Parish Priest and talk to him about it. In all honesty and candor, charitably of course. You were offered a chance to share what you had discovered in your life and help make a difference in other people’s lives. Maybe go to a different Parish in your area. Even talk to the Bishop.
On a different subject, When you go into your personal interpretation about Paul and Peter and how that allegedly affects Apostolic Succession, you are making yourself an authority and under that assumed authority you are judging an entire Church - across the world and throughout the ages. That is a daunting expedition and it comes out as arrogant.
Where ever there is people, there will be bad people and good people and then there is the rest of us, swinging back and forth between the two

. But we are still called to be holy and I don’t know about you, but I am not going down without a fight

.
Peace.