Ex Husband is a Baptist Preacher to marry a Catholic Woman

[jlaw35550]

My ex-husband is a ordained Baptist Preacher. We were married for 21 years and we have 3 wonderful children together. We divorced 2 years ago because I found out that he had an affair and a illigitimate child with this woman. Before the divorce became final, I tried to reconcile but he refused, I found out that he had become involved with a woman in another state (Louisiana) and she is Catholic. Since then I met someone and remarried and he is planning on marrying the Catholic woman from Louisiana. My question is this, will they be able to get married in the Catholic Church and if they choose to be married by a Judge, will the Catholic Church recognize their marriage? Also, will my ex-husband have to seek an anullment from me in order to be able to marry this woman? He and she have caused a lot of heartache and misery to both me and my children, and honestly I don’t see how the church can anull a marriage of 21 years especially when 3 children were conceived from this union.
Thanks…jlaw35550

 

[pnewton]

Also, will my ex-husband have to seek an anullment from me in order to be able to marry this woman?

Yes, if they are married in the Catholic Church. Otherwise, the marriage would be considered invalid. I am sorry for your grief and I dispise all men who wreck their homes and destroy their wives because they lack character.

Your marriage can be annuled, regardless of lenght, because it is not the 21 years that are examined, but rather the state at the time of marriage. Specifically:

1. Were both parties free to marry and of sound mine
2. Did both parties believe in the permanance of marriage
3. Were both parties open to life
4. Did both parties believe in fidelity of marriage

Again, this only applies to the state of mind at the time of marriage. If any of the above are found to be not true, then the marriage may be annuled. This does not mean the marriage was bad, just that it was not the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony as defined by the Catholic Church.

 

[JustAnotherThou]

I guess I am confused

If he is a Baptist Preacher, why would he be getting married in the Catholic Church?
Is he converting?

 

[kell0618]

My question is this, will they be able to get married in the Catholic Church

The only way a marriage would be permitted in the Catholic Church is if he had been granted a nullification of marriage. This would most likely take a year at least to obtain, if one is even to be granted in this situation.

if they choose to be married by a Judge, will the Catholic Church recognize their marriage?

Absolutely not.

will my ex-husband have to seek an anullment from me in order to be able to marry this woman?

In order to have a potential marriage to be recognized by the Catholic Church, the grant of nullification would be required. IF he did seek nullification of the marriage your (name removed by moderator)ut would be requested, but if you refused to provide it, it could possibly be granted without taking your side into consideration by the tribunal. You Do NOT want that to happen.

He and she have caused a lot of heartache and misery to both me and my children, and honestly I don’t see how the church can anull a marriage of 21 years especially when 3 children were conceived from this union.

As mentioned, a nullification is granted only after a very involved process and as mentioned in the other reply, a pre-existing condition must have been present PRIOR to your marriage. Was he a scoundrel before you married him? Were you pressured into marriage? If he does seek an annulment, (name removed by moderator)ut will be sought from people who knew you both prior to the marriage. You would provide your (name removed by moderator)ut as well. The tribunal and not your ex would be making contacts with witnesses.

The Catholic Church takes marriage very seriously and Jesus was quite frank about the permanency of marriage:

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and the woman who divorces her husband and marries another commits adultery.”

and

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. The man who marries a woman divorced from her husband likewise commits adultery.”

Obviously, your ex has proven to be an adulterer. I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself in assuming they will be seeking a Catholic wedding. The woman is quite obviously not following the teachings of her ‘Faith’.

In anticipation of a possible question about your children, NO, a nullification of marriage does not mean your children were born outside of wedlock.

The parents, now divorced, presumably once obtained a civil license and entered upon a legal marriage. Children from that union are, therefore, their legitimate offspring. Legitimate means “legal.” The civil divorce and the Church annulment do not alter this situation. Nor do they change the parents’ responsibility toward the children. In fact, during annulment procedures the Church reminds petitioners of their moral obligation to provide for the proper upbringing of their children.

Source

I am so sorry for the pain this man and woman have caused to you and your children. May the Lord have mercy on them; they are certainly going to need it.

Peace be with you.

 

[kell0618]

I guess I am confused

If he is a Baptist Preacher, why would he be getting married in the Catholic Church?
Is he converting?

In the OP, she indicated that the woman he has taken up with is ‘Catholic’.

 

[rstegeman]

I am assuming that you got an anullment prior to your marriage? If so, I believe that it applies to him as well. If you got the annullment, that means the marriage was invalid. It can’t be valid for one and not the other.

 

[IrishAm]

I am assuming that you got an anullment prior to your marriage? If so, I believe that it applies to him as well. If you got the annullment, that means the marriage was invalid. It can’t be valid for one and not the other.

It would not appear the OP is Catholic.

 

[pnewton]

I am assuming that you got an anullment prior to your marriage? If so, I believe that it applies to him as well. If you got the annullment, that means the marriage was invalid. It can’t be valid for one and not the other.

No, she is not Catholic. Therefore she is not bound to the Catholic form of marriage, nor do two non-Catholics seek Catholic annulments to marry.

 

[jlaw35550]

No, I did not get an anullment prior to my marriage. I was faithful in our marriage the entire 21 years, unfortunately he was not. The Bible says that adultery is the only basis for a divorce and you can remarry if your spouse has committed adultery against you. God did not intend for the person who was the victim in the relationship to be totally destroyed or penalized because the spouse chose to ruin the marriage. I am not Catholic, I am Baptist.

 

[jlaw35550]

I guess I am confused

If he is a Baptist Preacher, why would he be getting married in the Catholic Church?
Is he converting?

The only reason he would be getting married in the Catholic Church is because she is Catholic. He spends most of his free time in Louisiana now, so if I had to guess, he is probably trying to convert.

 

[jlaw35550]

Yes, if they are married in the Catholic Church. Otherwise, the marriage would be considered invalid. I am sorry for your grief and I dispise all men who wreck their homes and destroy their wives because they lack character.

Your marriage can be annuled, regardless of lenght, because it is not the 21 years that are examined, but rather the state at the time of marriage. Specifically:

1. Were both parties free to marry and of sound mine
2. Did both parties believe in the permanance of marriage
3. Were both parties open to life
4. Did both parties believe in fidelity of marriage

Again, this only applies to the state of mind at the time of marriage. If any of the above are found to be not true, then the marriage may be annuled. This does not mean the marriage was bad, just that it was not the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony as defined by the Catholic Church.

I am sure that he will tell the church that he doesn’t know how to get in touch with me. How can I be assured that the church will contact me to let me know if he tries to have our marriage anulled? I

 

[JustAnotherThou]

In the OP, she indicated that the woman he has taken up with is ‘Catholic’.

I guess my confusion and question to the OP is: Is he converting and becoming Catholic? Therefore he would not be a Baptist Preacher. If he isn’t and they are marrying in the Baptist church then the problem would be that his Catholic fiancee would be falling away from her faith, thus I doubt she is worried about what the Church says about marriage. If he has not or does not plan to convert, I am not sure that the Catholic Church would marry them being that he is a Baptist Preacher.

 

[lizaanne]

My ex-husband is a ordained Baptist Preacher. We were married for 21 years and we have 3 wonderful children together. We divorced 2 years ago because I found out that he had an affair and a illigitimate child with this woman. Before the divorce became final, I tried to reconcile but he refused, I found out that he had become involved with a woman in another state (Louisiana) and she is Catholic. Since then I met someone and remarried and he is planning on marrying the Catholic woman from Louisiana. My question is this, will they be able to get married in the Catholic Church and if they choose to be married by a Judge, will the Catholic Church recognize their marriage? Also, will my ex-husband have to seek an anullment from me in order to be able to marry this woman? He and she have caused a lot of heartache and misery to both me and my children, and honestly I don’t see how the church can anull a marriage of 21 years especially when 3 children were conceived from this union.
Thanks…jlaw35550

With all due respect Ma’am - why is this any of your business? You are no longer with this man, he has chosen another woman, you approve of the divorce on the grounds of infidelity, so why does this even concern you? I’m confused.



~Liza

 

[jlaw35550]

The only way a marriage would be permitted in the Catholic Church is if he had been granted a nullification of marriage. This would most likely take a year at least to obtain, if one is even to be granted in this situation.

Absolutely not.

In order to have a potential marriage to be recognized by the Catholic Church, the grant of nullification would be required. IF he did seek nullification of the marriage your (name removed by moderator)ut would be requested, but if you refused to provide it, it could possibly be granted without taking your side into consideration by the tribunal. You Do NOT want that to happen.

As mentioned, a nullification is granted only after a very involved process and as mentioned in the other reply, a pre-existing condition must have been present PRIOR to your marriage. Was he a scoundrel before you married him? Were you pressured into marriage? If he does seek an annulment, (name removed by moderator)ut will be sought from people who knew you both prior to the marriage. You would provide your (name removed by moderator)ut as well. The tribunal and not your ex would be making contacts with witnesses.

The Catholic Church takes marriage very seriously and Jesus was quite frank about the permanency of marriage:

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and the woman who divorces her husband and marries another commits adultery.”

and

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. The man who marries a woman divorced from her husband likewise commits adultery.”

Obviously, your ex has proven to be an adulterer. I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself in assuming they will be seeking a Catholic wedding. The woman is quite obviously not following the teachings of her ‘Faith’.

In anticipation of a possible question about your children, NO, a nullification of marriage does not mean your children were born outside of wedlock.

Source

I am so sorry for the pain this man and woman have caused to you and your children. May the Lord have mercy on them; they are certainly going to need it.

Peace be with you.

Thanks…It just bothered me that he could possibly get by with anulling our marriage, especially since we have children together and since he is the one who wrecked our marriage and our lives.

 

[1ke]

My ex-husband is a ordained Baptist Preacher. We were married for 21 years and we have 3 wonderful children together. We divorced 2 years ago because I found out that he had an affair and a illigitimate child with this woman. Before the divorce became final, I tried to reconcile but he refused, I found out that he had become involved with a woman in another state (Louisiana) and she is Catholic. Since then I met someone and remarried and he is planning on marrying the Catholic woman from Louisiana.

I am sorry this happened to you.

My question is this, will they be able to get married in the Catholic Church and if they choose to be married by a Judge, will the Catholic Church recognize their marriage?

His freedom to marry would have to be determined prior to them being able to marry in the Catholic Church. As has been pointed out, a civil marriage is not recognized by the Catholic Church when one party is Catholic.

Also, will my ex-husband have to seek an anullment from me in order to be able to marry this woman?

Yes.

Also, will my ex-husband have to He and she have caused a lot of heartache and misery to both me and my children, and honestly I don’t see how the church can anull a marriage of 21 years especially when 3 children were conceived from this union.
Thanks…jlaw35550

That is because you do not understand what a decree of nullity is and is not.

I suggest the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster.

If he does proceed with a petition to the marriage Tribunal, you will be contacted although you do not have to participate if you do not want to.

 

[jlaw35550]

With all due respect Ma’am - why is this any of your business? You are no longer with this man, he has chosen another woman, you approve of the divorce on the grounds of infidelity, so why does this even concern you? I’m confused.



~Liza

Apparently you have never been married, had children and been cheated on by someone you were with for many, many years…

 

[1ke]

Thanks…It just bothered me that he could possibly get by with anulling our marriage, especially since we have children together and since he is the one who wrecked our marriage and our lives.

There is no “getting by” with an annulment. Either the marriage is valid or it isn’t. The Tribunal will examine the evidence.

Your marriage most certainly might be invalid. It has nothing to do with duration or number of children you had or with who left whom.

 

[Jimdandy]

Jesus said that divorce was ok only in instances where someone was married to a too-close family member.Translation has confused this with wording such as incest/infidelity. This should not happen in today’s society, although I have heard of first cousins marrying when both are past the normal child-bearing range.

 

[stinkcat_14]

Apparently you have never been married, had children and been cheated on by someone you were with for many, many years…

Of course, whether you were cheated on, as painful as that is, does not by itself tell us anything about the validity of your marriage.

 

[pnewton]

I am sure that he will tell the church that he doesn’t know how to get in touch with me. How can I be assured that the church will contact me to let me know if he tries to have our marriage anulled? I

An annulment would be file in the diocese of residence. For him to not list contact information would require a very good reason why. It would also lessen his chance for annulment, since your state of mind would be difficult to determine. Contact the chancery office of wherever he lives if you want to make sure your contact information is included.

Remember again, this is not about you or who was at fault. It is only a question of whether the marriage was sacramental or not. I do understand your situation and it is hard to say do not take it personal, but don’t.