ex Mormons LDS

[RebeccaJ]

And it came to pass, that I never asked for my name to be removed.
And it came to pass that I thought I should have.
And it came to pass that I dont give a **** if my name is there, God loves me!

 

[zaffiroborant]

I want to make sure folks understand what I’m asking.

Mormons go visit people on the rolls of our church. It means somewhere, sometime, somebody made covenants and got baptized. That somebody is considered “in the flock” for some bishop. And there’s a pretty hefty scripture or two in the D&C about a bishop’s duty to know the status of his flock.

So, you don’t get kicked out or quit, you’re part of some bishop’s flock, and you will get visited from time to time.

The solution, for folks who don’t want the dang mormons to visit, is to get kicked out or quit. Excommunication or name removal.

My question is for people who have done that. If you’ve done that, did we stop coming around to check on you?

(None of this has anything to do with missionaries. They’re like traveling salesmen. They don’t care who’s door they knock on. Telling the missionaries to stay away, will last as long as that particular 18 yr old missionary’s memory lasts. If I ever figure out how to stop getting contacted by salesmen, I’ll certainly pass the info on to you folks, because it should work on missionaries too. Heck, they come knock on my door too about once every few years. I like to pretend I’m an anti-mormon with them, and then come clean just as they start to get upset.)

Rebecca’s daughter was never baptized and yet the LDS missionaries follow the family from home to home to home. And really in the age of computers how hard is to put a note on a file that says the borant family wants no contact. Go read post for a few months on NOM or PostMormon to see why people don’t have their names removed. Hounding people is ugly.

 

[zaffiroborant]

Well, I agree it is cult-like and let me explain why. Like I said our friend left Utah and moved to a new state making a new life for himself.

How would they know where he was?? Who would tell home teachers/visiting teachers his new address? Kinda like stalking if you ask me.

And you are right. They are trying to interfere with one’s choice to find his own way.

It is not kind of like stalking it is stalking.

 

[Marie5890]

Hounding people is ugly.

Christ’s example is the best of course. He never hounded anyone. If they wanted to walk away, He let them. Never chased after them.

People should choose to follow Christ of their own free will. Not corralled by outside influences.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Christ’s example is the best of course. He never hounded anyone. If they wanted to walk away, He let them. Never chased after them.

People should choose to follow Christ of their own free will. Not corralled by outside influences.

For the LDS church it isn’t about following Christ. If it were, I would be LDS. It is about following Smith. It is Smith who made up the rules for his church, which has nothing to do with Christ.

 

[Becca3]

Don’t get me wrong, my brothers had heavy harrassment within the first couple years of going inactive. And they let my parents know that lol we’re irish so we tell it how it is to the people we love. But it hasn’t even come up in a while so either my brothers intimidated them through their irish nature or the church gave up. Either one, they aren’t bothered anymore.

That being said, When we all gather for this next thanksgiving, it might come up and the church might have resurrected their endeavors. Who knows, but at the end of the day, our whole family loves each other and thats all that matters.

As for your daughter, to be honest, its a typical trick used by members and missionaries alike. Try to appeal to the children. I hate it admit it, but I used that tactic a few times while on my mission. Don’t judge me, i’ve since repented

Well, I am part Scottish and well, you know how we are too! They don’t mess with me and I know how to hide. lol. They knew if they mess with me, I have such a scary face when mad. lol.

 

[NeuroTypical]

Thanks for the replies to my questions folks.

So in a nutshell, once baptized a Catholic, the church considers you a part of the church forever, but Catholics are happy to leave you alone if you wish.

Once baptized a Mormon, you can leave if you wish, but mormons will follow you around and bug you until you do. And even if you officially leave, friends/family/well-wishers may continue to check in on you to try to be helpful.

I honestly can see why that ticks some people off, and kudos to the folks here who have found a way to not get offended by it.

One thing I can say in favor of Mormon member record keeping - it assists us in protecting our members from predators. If you do something like get convicted of molesting children, there’s a permanent annotation placed on your member record, which will follow you from ward to ward, anywhere in the world. So when one of these guys shows up in some random town, and meets with the bishop and expresses an interest in working with the youth, the bishop has a way to find out about his history, and the church can protect our members from this guy.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Thanks for the replies to my questions folks.

So in a nutshell, once baptized a Catholic, the church considers you a part of the church forever, but Catholics are happy to leave you alone if you wish.

Once baptized a Mormon, you can leave if you wish, but mormons will follow you around and bug you until you do. And even if you officially leave, friends/family/well-wishers may continue to check in on you to try to be helpful.

I honestly can see why that ticks some people off, and kudos to the folks here who have found a way to not get offended by it.

One thing I can say in favor of Mormon member record keeping - it assists us in protecting our members from predators. If you do something like get convicted of molesting children, there’s a permanent annotation placed on your member record, which will follow you from ward to ward, anywhere in the world. So when one of these guys shows up in some random town, and meets with the bishop and expresses an interest in working with the youth, the bishop has a way to find out about his history, and the church can protect our members from this guy.

It depends on what sort of contact is being made. The ward where I am is not intrusive, not threatening, very neighborly. Others have a different experience of pushy and nosey ward members who don’t take “no” for an answer. If a person requests to not be contacted, there is no reason to not honor the request. Add a permanent notation to the person’s file. You’ve shown it can be done, but the LDS church refuses to acknowledge people’s repeated requests. It really ticks some people off. There have been times where I’ve been very irritated when the ward comes around asking personal questions, that are none of their business. It varies, by individual.

Background checks are required for people working with youth. usccb.org/issues-and-action/child-and-youth-protection/faqs.cfm

Background screening and psychological testing are required for men entering seminaries and men and women entering religious life (monks and nuns).

 

[LivingWaters7]

One of the main differences is that the LDS Church, as mentioned, is very much interested in statistics and records. The ward clerk counts how many people attend Sacrament Meeting to measure weekly attendance at the meeting. I, as Elders Quorum President, would pass around an attendance sheet, and give the number of people attending at least once per quarter to the clerk to submit to SLC. We would also give a percentage of members being home taught each quarter (always a blast ). If we haven’t seen someone in awhile, we’d then contact them to see how they’re doing (funny, I haven’t been to church in what, 3 months, but I guess they think I’m still good ). In my ward, if someone said they don’t want to be contacted, they would be left alone, except for once a year, to make sure they still don’t want to be contacted (the bishop was of the opinion that you don’t let a family member just go off on their own, and that things could change at any time).

I think, generally speaking, it’s easier to slip out of a Catholic parish than a LDS ward, due to all of the attendance, home/visiting teaching, etc. For better or worse, I guess it depends on what POV you’re coming from. I’m glad that in the wards I’ve been in, people haven’t been as annoying as what I’ve heard happening in Utah (funny how most Mormons I’ve met outside of Utah have such a disdain for Utah, the culture, etc).

 

[RebeccaJ]

One of the main differences is that the LDS Church, as mentioned, is very much interested in statistics and records. The ward clerk counts how many people attend Sacrament Meeting to measure weekly attendance at the meeting. I, as Elders Quorum President, would pass around an attendance sheet, and give the number of people attending at least once per quarter to the clerk to submit to SLC. We would also give a percentage of members being home taught each quarter (always a blast ). If we haven’t seen someone in awhile, we’d then contact them to see how they’re doing (funny, I haven’t been to church in what, 3 months, but I guess they think I’m still good ). In my ward, if someone said they don’t want to be contacted, they would be left alone, except for once a year, to make sure they still don’t want to be contacted (the bishop was of the opinion that you don’t let a family member just go off on their own, and that things could change at any time).

I think, generally speaking, it’s easier to slip out of a Catholic parish than a LDS ward, due to all of the attendance, home/visiting teaching, etc. For better or worse, I guess it depends on what POV you’re coming from. I’m glad that in the wards I’ve been in, people haven’t been as annoying as what I’ve heard happening in Utah (funny how most Mormons I’ve met outside of Utah have such a disdain for Utah, the culture, etc).

Those of use who are out of Mormonism realize the visits are occurring because someone is required to get 100% on their visiting or home teaching. We realize we are an assignment, and if the assignment wasn’t there, the individual would probably never visit.

There was a VT who I had never met in my life, but had decided to drop off cookies for my birthday. Apparently, she had this idea that I’m home all day every day, and kept coming around when I wasn’t home. When she finally came over when I was home, she berated me for not being at home all the other times she had dropped by. I chalked it up to her trying to get the 100%, and I wasn’t “cooperating” with the Mormon norm. It really annoyed me and I threw the cookies away.

 

[SteveVH]

In my ward, if someone said they don’t want to be contacted, they would be left alone, except for once a year, to make sure they still don’t want to be contacted (the bishop was of the opinion that you don’t let a family member just go off on their own, and that things could change at any time).

Do they not think that if a person is once again interested that they would come back on their own? I mean do they imagine that a person is going to sit at home for a year just waiting and praying for someone to contact them?

Don’t get me wrong here. I know plenty of “Catholics” who just don’t show up for Mass each week. When I run into these people I let them know that they are missed at Church and are in my prayers. Sometimes people need a little nudging. But if someone has really “left” the Church, we do not keep checking up on them.

My priest has made a personal vow to visit every home in our town (its a small town). In the process he comes across “Catholics” who have not been to Church in years. We are seeing a steady uptick in our attendance because of his efforts, so I can’t really speak against “checking in” with people now and then.