Ex-Mormons Why Did You Leave the Church II

[zaffiroborant]

How many Ex-Mormons here were BIC (born in the covenant, in born into the LDS church?) I know SpeSalvi is one, Rebecca is another…

I was a convert at the age of 15/16…

How did your conversion at 15/16 “go down”? I’ve read postings on various boards from people who like you converted as teens. What they describe are underhanded proselytizing techniques that advocate sneaking around behind the parents backs. Turning “can I go to Dotties house and play” (through dinner) into opportunities to have missionaries proselytize the guest child. I have read of this type of behavior so frequently that it seems to be common place. And no LDS member has ever even hinted that this is unacceptable behavior It has changed my approach to certain families in my kids schools.

 

[lynnettejane]

When I was in high school (around 15) I stopped regularly attending the LDS meetings, but at this point my inactivity was due to teenage rebellion and laziness, and not a real loss of faith. Every once in a while I would have a renewed desire to reconnect with God and would have an active spurt for a month to a few moths. I am ashamed to admit that more than once these brief periods of activity were due to a girl.

When I started college (age 20) I found that Mormon singles wards were a good way to meet people, and I should note that I had never really questioned that the LDS faith may not be true. Throughout all this time I was an inactive, but true believer, at least I think I was. I met a girl and became convinced that “the spirit” was telling me we would get married. When she went on a mission I became inactive again. During this time I got into philosophy, theology, and history and for the first time became aware of the arguments other faiths had to make for truth. I found that these arguments were often superior, or just as good, as the arguments being offered by the LDS faith. Looking back I notice that these superior claims had little power as long as I was convinced that the spirit was telling me to marry this girl.

Shortly after her return we began dating again. Eventually she broke up with me and I was shocked. This wasn’t supposed to happen! The spirit told me we were supposed to be married!! Eventually I realized that the break up was for good, and although this was an emotionally trying time for me I was free for the first time in four years to figure out if being LDS was right. I read the Book of Mormon, prayed constantly, but received no testimony. Even if I had, I had become increasingly aware that many non- Mormon Christian friends made the claim that the Holy Spirit had testified to them that their faith was right, and I would have no way of demonstrating that my testimony was more valid.

I came to distrust subjective experiences, and thus like many others here I was determined to strengthen my faith through LDS history and theology. What I found was that, given all the problems plaguing LDS claims and origins, the only way I could believe is if Christ himself had come down and told me to be Mormon.

It has been a trying experience since. I have become very skeptical and it has become difficult for me to believe anything, but I continue to read philosophy, theology, and history in order to figure out where I ought to go.

Hi Truthseeker, I really feel for you, and I don’t know the answer except keep on trusting God, not anyone or anything else. There is no rush, unlike conversion to mormonism which takes about 6 weeks. Try and read the bible without the mormon twist, something I initially found difficult, but now find it very comforting. Ask Christ for his peace, that is what you need. Praying for you and your wife, and don’t forget,
‘Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.’

 

[lynnettejane]

You know, I didnt learn about all of that, the real history, changing doctrines etc until years later after I had left. When I was spending time on exmormon.org.

It was that stuff that lead me to formally resign my membership, but I had been out of the LDS church for years by that time, and have left UT years earlier.

For me, just knew that the need for temples and temples sealings were bogus.

Hi Marie, actually I didn’t learn about those things until I was well on my way out, so it wasn’t the glaring untruths or hidden history that influenced me. It was definitely my Christian friends who just kept quietly restating biblical truth against which Mormonism did not match up. But it was still a struggle to unthink it all, and at times I felt miserable and desperate. And I didn’t want it to be disproved, if anything I wanted God to show me it was truth, of course, now I was finally asking him the right question, he could not affirm a lie. However, it does leave hangups as we have discussed before on this forum, and occasionally I can come upon a scripture that will bring it all back because one of their favourites, then I have to put my hand back in his and seek his peace. Thankfully he is always faithful, I thank the Holy Spirit for the gift of faith and his constant companionship.

 

[Marie5890]

How did your conversion at 15/16 “go down”? I’ve read postings on various boards from people who like you converted as teens. What they describe are underhanded proselytizing techniques that advocate sneaking around behind the parents backs. Turning “can I go to Dotties house and play” (through dinner) into opportunities to have missionaries proselytize the guest child. I have read of this type of behavior so frequently that it seems to be common place. And no LDS member has ever even hinted that this is unacceptable behavior It has changed my approach to certain families in my kids schools.

For me, I had a class in high school on world religions. We had to do a term paper on a church. Since most people were doing theirs on Catholicism, I wanted mine to stand out so I chose Mormonism.

The WoW was HUGE to me as my father has always struggled with alcoholism and it had been very destructive to our family.

The WoW and the whole culture of “clean living” was very appealing. It solved an issue for me. No booze.

The whole “families are forever” and “marriage is for all time and eternity” also does have a romantic appeal to it on the surface.

There was no underhanded proselytizing. I contacted the missionaries. Not the other way around. I
It was very much my idea to join…and then very much my idea to leave. There was never any pressure on way or the other. I was always had the sense of being free and follow my conscience. Still do.

 

[Marie5890]

. But it was still a struggle to unthink it all, and at times I felt miserable and desperate.

I do very much related to the unthinking or unwinding of Mormon thought, though I was never miserable or desperate.

Of course I didnt have the influence of family pressure when one leaves one’s family faith tradition.
For me, leaving was very easy and hassle free. I just stopped going and a few years later, moved away from UT.

It was easy to go inactive for me while part of a BYU ward even. THAT was amazing to me.

 

[HonoraDominum]

Note: this is recycled from another post, no need to reinvent the wheel, right?]

I left the church because I was deeply offended by someone. And I wanted to live a sinful life.

[insert slow clap] :clapping:

No, not really. But can you imagine? “I knew with every fiber in my being that the LDS church was the revealed church of our God and creator, and our savior, and that my salvation depended on my endurance to the end. But I got dismissed from my calling as Relief Society First Counselor because the Relief Society President didn’t like me, and the Bishop’s wife insulted my Funeral Potatoes in front of the entire Sunday School class! I’m never going back!”

I was a TBM, never doubted, until I was 21. I remember going to a particular bookstore in Mesquite TX, and for some reason, I picked up some anti-Mormon book. I’m sure, being deep in the bible belt, it was some horrible Ed Decker-esque book, but whatever I read in it, it shattered the cornerstone of my belief. I was taught in seminary that Joseph Smith was the cornerstone of the religion - lose faith in him and the whole thing crumbles. Well, that’s what happened. Everything crumbled, including my belief in God, my belief in Christ, and everything about my belief in Joseph Smith. I quit my calling and left the church.

I wish I could say I never looked back, but that’s not entirely true. When I was 27, I decided that I needed to make sure that the Mormon church really was not true, that I had not lost my testimony due to my own sin and weaknesses. I read the Book of Mormon cover to cover, and went to church every Sunday, and paid full tithing and went through the temple, and prayed so very hard. I did everything I was supposed to do, and never received that “burning of the bosom.” But I do believe that God was calling me even then to become Catholic, but first He had to teach me that the Mormon church was truly not His church, so that I could close that chapter of my life and move on to His truth.

For most Protestant converts that I know, they had a “teach their way to the church” kind of experience. The more they studied about the history of Christianity, the more they began to believe in the truth of the authority of the Catholic church. Most Mormons, however, tended to have more of what I think of as a “2x4 to the side of the head” type of experience, involving something very uniquely Catholic. For me, I was at a Catholic wedding Mass, and had a moment during the consecration. I remember thinking, “I want that. I don’t know why, but I want it.” I had such a holy envy for those who received during Communion. Then I remember thinking, “I could do this. I could come to a Catholic church, every day if I wanted! I could even become Catholic. I’m a grown up - I don’t need anyone’s permission to do this. I want to be Catholic!” I was in RCIA two weeks later, and have always had a profound respect and adoration for our Eucharistic Lord since that conversion moment.

 

[Marie5890]

Note: this is recycled from another post, no need to reinvent the wheel, right?]

I left the church because I was deeply offended by someone. And I wanted to live a sinful life.

[insert slow clap] :clapping:

LOL.

I know. Those lame stereotypes that people leave the LDS church because they were 1)offended by someone, or 2) wanted to sin so so completely bogus .

But it’s what they have been fed over the years that people leave for the above reasons that they dont seem able to grasp wider possibilities. Mormons can be elementary in their thinking esp if they dont know about the church’s past or the real story about Joseph Smith… The whole “black and white thinking approach” to life…Very pitiful…

If anything, I feel sorry for Mormons that they are not encouraged by their leadership to exercise reason and analytical thinking skills.

It’s all very sad, considering how so many are so sincere in their prism of life.

 

[nowcatholic]

I was born (5th gen.) into the LDS church. I lived in a town that was 95% LDS. On a summer vacation I stayed with some Catholic friends and went to Mass, the communion song was On Eagles Wings. It was so beautiful, I had a very spritual experiance. When I got home on Sunday at my young womens class I tried to explain it and the teacher dismissed the experiance as false and that Satan was trying to trick me. I never spoke of it again but knew in my heart that what I felt was real. I drifted from the church as a young adult and many years later met my now husband who never asked me on date but asked me to go to Mass. We had two children together and after baptizing my daughter I felt a strong conviction to become Catholic. I was baptized in 2005 and I have had many moments of doubt in faith journey including a realization that many core beliefs from childhood were based on lies but I have felt at home every time I go to Mass. Peace be with all who seek the truth.

 

[IdahoHusker]

I converted to Mormonism while in high school. I was dating a Mormon girl and one of my best friends was Mormon. They had a terrific youth group. I didn’t have a clue about other religions and neither did my parents, one a non-practicing Catholic and the other a non-practicing Lutheran. I went to Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho), served a mission to Australia and later graduated from BYU in Provo. While on my mission, I began to understand the objections that traditional Christians have to Mormon theology, thanks to the witnessing of evangelicals. (Catholics were clueless and most our converts were Catholic). I also began to hear things about early Mormon history I had never heard before. After I got back from my mission, I started to do my own research and eventually left the church. It meant calling off my temple wedding just two months before it was supposed to happen! I became an evangelical and even served as a lay pastor for two years. Many years later (1999) I became Catholic. I was blessed to appear on “Journey Home” with Marcus Grodi and also on “Catholic Answers.” If you want copies of my testimony, please feel free to contact me. I’m so happy to be finally home!

 

[Quaesitor]

I fell away from the LDS Church when I was 16. It’s hard to say why, I just didn’t feel anything. I tried going back several times but it just didn’t feel right. Then two years ago, after feeling called, I decided to look around see if I was being called to somewhere. Which I found out was to the Catholic Church. I was born and raised LDS up to when I left. I haven’t asked or been approached yet about actually removing my membership.

 

[Marie5890]

I fell away from the LDS Church when I was 16. It’s hard to say why, I just didn’t feel anything. I tried going back several times but it just didn’t feel right. Then two years ago, after feeling called, I decided to look around see if I was being called to somewhere. Which I found out was to the Catholic Church. I was born and raised LDS up to when I left. I haven’t asked or been approached yet about actually removing my membership.

Quaesitor,

First, welcome home!.
Second, any problems from your LDS family?

 

[Marie5890]

I was born (5th gen.) into the LDS church. I lived in a town that was 95% LDS. On a summer vacation I stayed with some Catholic friends and went to Mass, the communion song was On Eagles Wings. It was so beautiful, I had a very spritual experiance. When I got home on Sunday at my young womens class I tried to explain it and the teacher dismissed the experiance as false and that Satan was trying to trick me. I never spoke of it again but knew in my heart that what I felt was real. I drifted from the church as a young adult and many years later met my now husband who never asked me on date but asked me to go to Mass. We had two children together and after baptizing my daughter I felt a strong conviction to become Catholic. I was baptized in 2005 and I have had many moments of doubt in faith journey including a realization that many core beliefs from childhood were based on lies but I have felt at home every time I go to Mass. Peace be with all who seek the truth.

How has your LDS family taken it? That is several generations of LDS membership.
I know that many Catholics who become LDS have a real problem with their Catholic family members when they become LDS.

 

[nowcatholic]

Marie,
My parents have grudgingly accepted it. They tell people that they are just happy that I take my kids to church and that I am raising them christian. Most of my extended family gives loves me no matter. There a few that have made comments like “too bad these kids(mine and other cousins kids that are not part of the church) aren’t really part of the family” Wow!! Really?!? That was quickly smacked down with “real families don’t pass judgment on others” and “God is too big and powerful to not include all children in his family.”

My parents are not as accepting of my sisters decision to leave organized religion entirely and just be spirtual.

 

[jorsalfar]

I am a Mormon convert of almost fifty years. I have seen many people join the Church and many who have left. I admit that the majority (in my opinion) of LDS cannot defend our faith from an intellectual level, for various reasons. I also understand that the Church encourages its members to pursue knowledge through study and prayer. Our Sunday school is about forty minutes and - after announcements - the teacher has about thirty minutes to present the lesson. That, obviously, is not sufficient time to be a complete system of education.

I am a skeptic and do not accept any church’s doctrine (including LDS) without prayerful study. I read very little literature published by LDS but do have a pretty extensive library of books by theologians (non-LDS) and churches (including the Catholic). I have great respect for other religions that base their faith on divine moral principles. (I recognize that, in every religion, there are those who believe in word but live by social laws. There are also those who believe and strive to reflect the principles of divinity.)

The more I study religion, the more I understand, appreciate, and love the doctrines of the LDS church. A few of these posts have mentioned the “Adam/God” doctrine. This is a somewhat shocking doctrine; time and space (on this site) does not permit an explanations and certainly would not satisfy the skepticism of one who does not really have a firm grip on the basics of the LDS doctrine. I recall that the apostle Paul had to feed the early Christians milk before they could handle the “meat” of the early church doctrine.

One of the posts accused the LDS of attempting to take their children from them when they left the church. Knowing what I know, I find that to be absolutely a charge without any merit. Quite a few years ago I was told that the LDS church has a city under Salt Lake City where we take young women captive. I have heard that we dig up graves in order to baptize corpse. There are many other outlandish accusations that are made about the LDS church that cause me to shake my head and bow so others cannot see me laughing at such humorous stories.

I certainly wish all the moral people happiness and the immoral I beg to change and associate with a religion (Catholic, LDS, Baptist, Lutheran, or any of the non-Christian religions that teach and practice that which was said by the Savior, when asked what was the most important commandment: "Love the Lord your God. And the second is like unto it; to love your neighbor.

 

[lynnettejane]

Texan Knight is the individual you refer to (Kidnapping his children), he does not need me to defend him, however I think your judgement of his experience is without merit, no doubt he will help you to adjust it.

 

[TexanKnight]

I am a Mormon convert of almost fifty years. I have seen many people join the Church and many who have left. I admit that the majority (in my opinion) of LDS cannot defend our faith from an intellectual level, for various reasons. I also understand that the Church encourages its members to pursue knowledge through study and prayer. Our Sunday school is about forty minutes and - after announcements - the teacher has about thirty minutes to present the lesson. That, obviously, is not sufficient time to be a complete system of education.

I am a skeptic and do not accept any church’s doctrine (including LDS) without prayerful study. I read very little literature published by LDS but do have a pretty extensive library of books by theologians (non-LDS) and churches (including the Catholic). I have great respect for other religions that base their faith on divine moral principles. (I recognize that, in every religion, there are those who believe in word but live by social laws. There are also those who believe and strive to reflect the principles of divinity.)

The more I study religion, the more I understand, appreciate, and love the doctrines of the LDS church. A few of these posts have mentioned the “Adam/God” doctrine. This is a somewhat shocking doctrine; time and space (on this site) does not permit an explanations and certainly would not satisfy the skepticism of one who does not really have a firm grip on the basics of the LDS doctrine. I recall that the apostle Paul had to feed the early Christians milk before they could handle the “meat” of the early church doctrine.

One of the posts accused the LDS of attempting to take their children from them when they left the church. Knowing what I know, I find that to be absolutely a charge without any merit. Quite a few years ago I was told that the LDS church has a city under Salt Lake City where we take young women captive. I have heard that we dig up graves in order to baptize corpse. There are many other outlandish accusations that are made about the LDS church that cause me to shake my head and bow so others cannot see me laughing at such humorous stories.

I certainly wish all the moral people happiness and the immoral I beg to change and associate with a religion (Catholic, LDS, Baptist, Lutheran, or any of the non-Christian religions that teach and practice that which was said by the Savior, when asked what was the most important commandment: "Love the Lord your God. And the second is like unto it; to love your neighbor.

What exactly, do you find without merit? Are you calling me a liar? I am curious as to how you have the knowledge of the situation to find it without merit?

 

[Marie5890]

Texan Knight is the individual you refer to (Kidnapping his children), he does not need me to defend him, however I think your judgement of his experience is without merit, no doubt he will help you to adjust it.

I agree.
The kidnapping of his children is as criminal as the sexual abuse by Catholic priests…
Neither criminal acts is condoned by the respective churches, yet the leaderships have the moral responsibility not to sweep it under the carpet (or to do anything to encourage it) and to come down HARD on those who commit such crimes…

To minimize TK’s experience in this, or anyone else who are victims of crimes, does nothing.

 

[IdahoHusker]

It’s important we stay focused on the key theologial differences that I’m sure probably led to many of us leaving the LDS church. For me, it was the church’s purposeful airbrushing of its history and its dangerous theology. Mormonism’s God is an exalted man (Heavenly Father or Elohim) who is separate and distinct from another, lesser diving being, Jesus, who is also an exalted man and who is separate and distinct from the 'Holy Ghost" a personage of spirit. They are not Triune, but a “Godhead” that is one in purpose only. What separates orthodox Christianity from every other religion is our bold proclamation that Jesus is God Made Man! He is God come in the flesh, He is Immanuel, God With Us. We believe in only one God, who can manifest Himself in three persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Jesus is True God and True Man. Mormons deny this and, thus, when a Mormon comes into the Catholic Church he or she must be rebaptized, (unlike, for example, a Lutheran or a Baptist) because their definition of who Jesus is, is radically different than ours and heretical. Mormons claim a pre-existent life, near universal salvation through a system of many heavens, temple ordinances including works for the dead, a temple veil and holy of holies, all of which Jesus came to eradicate. Mormonism is a great world religion and its adherents are wonderful people who have Christian traits and sincerely believe they are Christian. But it is not a Christian religion and will never be, save a radical changing of its heretical teachings.

 

[Marie5890]

It’s important we stay focused on the key theologial differences that I’m sure probably led to many of us leaving the LDS church. For me, it was the church’s purposeful airbrushing of its history and its dangerous theology. Mormonism’s God is an exalted man (Heavenly Father or Elohim) who is separate and distinct from another, lesser diving being, Jesus, who is also an exalted man and who is separate and distinct from the 'Holy Ghost" a personage of spirit. They are not Triune, but a “Godhead” that is one in purpose only. What separates orthodox Christianity from every other religion is our bold proclamation that Jesus is God Made Man! He is God come in the flesh, He is Immanuel, God With Us. We believe in only one God, who can manifest Himself in three persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Jesus is True God and True Man. Mormons deny this and, thus, when a Mormon comes into the Catholic Church he or she must be rebaptized, (unlike, for example, a Lutheran or a Baptist) because their definition of who Jesus is, is radically different than ours and heretical. Mormons claim a pre-existent life, near universal salvation through a system of many heavens, temple ordinances including works for the dead, a temple veil and holy of holies, all of which Jesus came to eradicate. Mormonism is a great world religion and its adherents are wonderful people who have Christian traits and sincerely believe they are Christian. But it is not a Christian religion and will never be, save a radical changing of its heretical teachings.

One of the best, simple break downs of what Mormonism is and believes, and what it doesnt.

 

[SpeSalvi]

I am a Mormon convert of almost fifty years. I have seen many people join the Church and many who have left. I admit that the majority (in my opinion) of LDS cannot defend our faith from an intellectual level, for various reasons. I also understand that the Church encourages its members to pursue knowledge through study and prayer. Our Sunday school is about forty minutes and - after announcements - the teacher has about thirty minutes to present the lesson. That, obviously, is not sufficient time to be a complete system of education.

So you’re blaming the lack of time in Sunday school for the inability for Mormons to use reason in their theological arguments? If you’ve been in the church for 50 years, you known that Sunday school starts at age 3 and continues through adulthood. Let’s not forget about seminary- high school aged teens go for an hour every school day. If that’s not enough time to get the LDS population informed on the logical arguments for Mormonosm, there’s a dire lack of actual teaching going on.

I am a skeptic and do not accept any church’s doctrine (including LDS) without prayerful study. I read very little literature published by LDS but do have a pretty extensive library of books by theologians (non-LDS) and churches (including the Catholic). I have great respect for other religions that base their faith on divine moral principles. (I recognize that, in every religion, there are those who believe in word but live by social laws. There are also those who believe and strive to reflect the principles of divinity.)

So you’ve been LDS for 50 years and you ignore literature published by the LDS Church? Is that to show that you keep yourself distant from the LDS Church, or is it to try and convince us that you’re open minded? I don’t understand.

The more I study religion, the more I understand, appreciate, and love the doctrines of the LDS church. A few of these posts have mentioned the “Adam/God” doctrine. This is a somewhat shocking doctrine; time and space (on this site) does not permit an explanations and certainly would not satisfy the skepticism of one who does not really have a firm grip on the basics of the LDS doctrine. I recall that the apostle Paul had to feed the early Christians milk before they could handle the “meat” of the early church doctrine.

How can you say that you study religion that brings you closer to the LDS Church if you don’t actually do an lot of reading on things FROM the church?
Please keep in mind that most of us posting on this thread have been Mormon and are VERY acquainted with LDS doctrine. The circumstances of the early Christians were quite different from today. If you are holding back on some information as to how you can frame the adam-god doctrine so it isn’t absolutely blasphemous, please don’t. We’re all big kids here.

One of the posts accused the LDS of attempting to take their children from them when they left the church. Knowing what I know, I find that to be absolutely a charge without any merit. Quite a few years ago I was told that the LDS church has a city under Salt Lake City where we take young women captive. I have heard that we dig up graves in order to baptize corpse. There are many other outlandish accusations that are made about the LDS church that cause me to shake my head and bow so others cannot see me laughing at such humorous stories.

You find the personal first-hand testimony of someone who had his children kidnapped humorous? You’ll notice that we do not make up or pass on untrue stories from church history. We play fair here. I’m sorry that you’re so blinded that you’re unable to acknowledge that the LDS Church is far from having a squeaky clean reputation.

I certainly wish all the moral people happiness and the immoral I beg to change and associate with a religion (Catholic, LDS, Baptist, Lutheran, or any of the non-Christian religions that teach and practice that which was said by the Savior, when asked what was the most important commandment: "Love the Lord your God. And the second is like unto it; to love your neighbor.

My brother in Christ, I have too much christian love for you to let you speak such abhorrent untruths without at least attempting to address them. If you would like to dialogue, many of us on here will be happy to do so in a respectful manner. However, you must understand that respect must be reciprocal. We are not children with a loose grasp on the early Church, we have all studied our way into the Catholic Church amidst great deliberation. May God bless you, friend.