I took it wrong too then. I am sorry. I thought you were considering also. To me it sounded as if he had found a loophole and you wanted to “close the loop” to be free of considering it.
He was emotionally abusive… lost his temper, said rotton stuff, hung up the phone on me, yelled, called me names, was controlling. It was a gradual process over time, so it was like “boiling the frog”. One day I realize… gad zooks, this is emotional abuse and I don’t like it. He is going to counseling and says he can and will overcome this. I have a “wait and see” attitude. True change is proven thru the test of time.
Again, if you read my first post, I wanted to determine the Church’s true doctrinal position on this. I wanted to know if my ex was telling the truth. I’ve never been in this situation before so I didn’t know. I agree, it I who decides. And I decided a long time ago, not to go along with intimacy in my present situation. My ex was saying the church sanctioned it I wanted to see if that was true.
The problem with the written word, is that you don’t have the eye to eye dynamic, the inflections of voice, etc. I think I’ve had more misunderstandings via email and online than in any other venue. I’ve never posted on a Catholic bulletin board like this before either. Perhaps I could have communicated better, or stated my intent in a more concise way so it was better understood.
Very good point.
I agree. What if the marriage vows are broken? … as in “to honor” and “to be true”, etc. And true does not just mean fidelity with intimacy, it means fidelity with everyting. Where does alcoholism factor in if it was hidden before the marriage and if commitments were made before the marriage in order to “seal the deal”, that were immediately broken right after the marriage? When trust is broken, when committments are broken, when a person is betrayed… committment becomes tenuous. As for love, that was I never an issue. I do still love this person. But love does not conquer all, and love is a choice. And there are different kinds of love…Biblically, they are, storge, agape, fileo and eros. You don’t need eros (romantic love) to have the other three. Just my humble opinion.
Well, I must thank you all here. You gave me the courage to go have a direct talk with my priest today, the one who actually married us. After half an hour, he told me I should obtain an annullment and move on. I’m not sure I am ready to do that, but his advice and understanding parallels everthing that was said here. I mentioned this forum, and he at first said it was a pretty conservative group, but I gave him a copy of about half of the posts here, and he agreed with what was said. Since he married us, and is closely aware of the issues, he has a paternal protective attitude toward me perhaps and thinks I should move on given all the circumstances.
I met with my priest today, having gotten some courage up after posting here. He is the priest who married us. He pretty much said what is being said here. I gave him some exerpts of this discussion. He also recommended I consider going forward with annullment. I’m not sure I will do that yet…but we’ll see. Thanks for all your (name removed by moderator)ut everyone.
Why would you want to potentially make a baby with a man whom you might not be married to 9 months from now?
Are you aware that this thread is 3 years old? Catwoman may not even post or read here anymore. Just to let you know.
I hope it did too. Don’t worry about the date thing. It happens to most of us sooner or later.
