Exhusband got his wish-

[michaeldaniels]

I’m sorry…I hate to see men who don’t “man up” and take care of their responsibilities…especially when they are familial in nature. You and your children will be in my prayers.

 

[iluvmybabies]

It is a sad fact, but, life is never fair. It is never fair for children go grow up in a broken home, with mom and dad hating each other’s guts and fighting all the time. It is not fair in any way shape or form. The day we become an adult is the day that we stop expecting life to be fair.

What the judges are sworn to do is to see that justice is done and that the laws are enforced. There is a legal amount of child support that is to be paid per child, based on income. That is the law. From some of the numbers you gave, it seems that your original ruling was very generous (far more than I see with the hundreds of people I assist).

If the judge acted unprofessionally or if he did not enforce the law, then, file a complaint. A call to the State Child Support Office should get you an appointment and let you know what the law requires him to pay.

the original court order was for 1800 for all 3 children based on exhusbands income he fought over that until he got what he wanted which was 950 dollars for 3 children and 67 for alimony…which I got in a period of what 4.5 years now 200 bucks out of it…I dropped that with this new court ruling first of all I wasn’t seeing it and I didn’t want his pitty patty 67 dollars…and now they have lowered it even more…so no I don’t think the judge was fair and I don’t hate my exhusband if it was up to me I wouldn’t even have to deal with child support I would love it if he surrendered his parental rights not like he visits anyhow…or talks to them on a daily or weekly or even monthly basis maybe once every 4 months he texts them something… how am I supposed to file a complaint when the judge looked at what exhusband turned in and allowed him to get approved for his reduction? Even after the judge heard my exhusband mention that he did make about 1500 dollars a month over what the paperwork had reported?! OK then it doesn’t matter that I know life isn’t fair it’s not “you’re an adult when you realize that” I am not one of those other women whom live off of welfare I try to bust my butt working as much as I can…When offered I am here 38 hours a week since they cut my hours I am no longer allowed that much work… Do you think I like living with 300 dollars of food stamps a month? And on medical card? no but even with a fulltime job the insurance here is so expensive it would be even worst than if I had a part-time job at least with my part-time i get to actually take my kids to their activities and be part of their lives without telling them can’t make it because i am at work 40plus hours…

I am not complaning I just vented on how my exhusband gets what he wants…It’s a proven fact! LOL

I said I am not bothering with it anymore let GOD’s will be done that’s it…If I get it I do if I don’t I don’t if he quits he quits and that’s it…That’s his problem not mine…Like I said I will continue doing what I can for my kids no matter what…

I am not crying over it nor letting emotions go all wild I just came on here to vent those whom have been kind and supportive over the bs I am going through I appreciate it, those whom have given advise I appreciate as well…and those whom offer their thoughts and prayers thank you as well…i didn’t say it’s been fair nor easy nor damn them all to hell because its not fair I just pointed out that no matter what the man gets what he wants! LOL what are you gonna do you know?! And on the contrary God bless them all…I just think it’s kind of funny…

I know plenty of women whom don’t get anything from child support and make it perfectly well, they live extremely great and they work as well to bring up their kids in a loving home, they do complain about the injustice but that’s life… I know I have been very lucky in receiving everything I have received we have been extremely blessed…Sure a little more would have helped and keeping it the way it was would too but hey that’s the way things go! LOL

 

[iluvmybabies]

I’m sorry…I hate to see men who don’t “man up” and take care of their responsibilities…especially when they are familial in nature. You and your children will be in my prayers.

thank you…yes it’s heartbreaking esp when he tells everyone I mean everyone that the children are his world…It devastates my family when they hear his family tearing me apart, it’s pretty sad…lol…but what can one do you know?! Oh that man went to therapy and everything according to his family, to help him make it without his children all these years! LOL He even brought that up once to child support services…yet when I told him what he did to our daughter his lies and deceipt caused her when she was 9 years old to try and hurt herself he thought it was so funny he blamed it on me saying “well look at the mother she has I would have done it too!” LOL

 

[shannyk]

the original court order was for 1800 for all 3 children based on exhusbands income he fought over that until he got what he wanted which was 950 dollars for 3 children and 67 for alimony…which I got in a period of what 4.5 years now 200 bucks out of it…I dropped that with this new court ruling first of all I wasn’t seeing it and I didn’t want his pitty patty 67 dollars…and now they have lowered it even more…so no I don’t think the judge was fair and I don’t hate my exhusband if it was up to me I wouldn’t even have to deal with child support I would love it if he surrendered his parental rights not like he visits anyhow…or talks to them on a daily or weekly or even monthly basis maybe once every 4 months he texts them something… how am I supposed to file a complaint when the judge looked at what exhusband turned in and allowed him to get approved for his reduction? Even after the judge heard my exhusband mention that he did make about 1500 dollars a month over what the paperwork had reported?! OK then it doesn’t matter that I know life isn’t fair it’s not “you’re an adult when you realize that” I am not one of those other women whom live off of welfare I try to bust my butt working as much as I can…When offered I am here 38 hours a week since they cut my hours I am no longer allowed that much work… Do you think I like living with 300 dollars of food stamps a month? And on medical card? no but even with a fulltime job the insurance here is so expensive it would be even worst than if I had a part-time job at least with my part-time i get to actually take my kids to their activities and be part of their lives without telling them can’t make it because i am at work 40plus hours…

I am not complaning I just vented on how my exhusband gets what he wants…It’s a proven fact! LOL

I said I am not bothering with it anymore let GOD’s will be done that’s it…If I get it I do if I don’t I don’t if he quits he quits and that’s it…That’s his problem not mine…Like I said I will continue doing what I can for my kids no matter what…

I am not crying over it nor letting emotions go all wild I just came on here to vent those whom have been kind and supportive over the bs I am going through I appreciate it, those whom have given advise I appreciate as well…and those whom offer their thoughts and prayers thank you as well…i didn’t say it’s been fair nor easy nor damn them all to hell because its not fair I just pointed out that no matter what the man gets what he wants! LOL what are you gonna do you know?! And on the contrary God bless them all…I just think it’s kind of funny…

I know plenty of women whom don’t get anything from child support and make it perfectly well, they live extremely great and they work as well to bring up their kids in a loving home, they do complain about the injustice but that’s life… I know I have been very lucky in receiving everything I have received we have been extremely blessed…Sure a little more would have helped and keeping it the way it was would too but hey that’s the way things go! LOL

iluv I know how frustrated you must be but I have to caution you to really think about “not bothering with it anymore” as you said above. Your children deserve the money from their father for their expenses, and for them not to get it for whatever reason is an injustice that you as their mother need to stand against for them, you need to advocate for them. It might not seem like it’s all worth it just for the money, but it’s more than money,…it’s them knowing you were willing to stand up for them. If they have to go without things because their father didn’t pay up and you could have perused it further, then there could be some resentment there, from your kiddos in the future. It’s one thing, to live within modest means of what you have, that is a good thing, but the kids should not have to do without because of their father is not paying, ;lying about his income, etc.

I know that in cook county there is a CARPLS legal self help desk in the Daley center that helps people in domestic relations cases for free, and they have a help hotline…in fact CARPLS would be a good place to call even if you’re not in cook cty, they can refer you to another legal aid office in your area.

Anyway, just my:twocents: And CONGRATS on the GIRL!!

 

[kage_ar]

You come across as very emotional, breathe - you kind of lash out to people when they are simply responding to you.

Look on the bright side! $950 per month is nothing to sneeze at.

 

[daeve]

Yeah my exhusband quit several jobs before to not pay child support, in a period of almost 5 years he owes 14 grand because of it… And yet he gets mad because he owes so much?! Wonder why that is? His wife ratted him out once posting on their myspacepage that he had 2 jobs and even had pictures of him…I called the child support agency and told them to open an investigation, the first thing they did was call him and tell him that i found out about his second job within seconds after I contacted them, a few minutes after I had gotten off the phone with them I went online to save the pictures to have as proof his profile had been shut down including his new wife’s a week later one came out with him putting FU in the title I couldn’t believe I could be betrayed like that…I think the woman whom used to be my social worker for the child support had something to do with my exhusband when we lived in Cali because she hated me with a passion…Always mistreated me and always would tell me things like “go get another job!” When I would ask her if she knew of anything being collected from him…It’s been a really tough several years trying to get him to take care of his kids…

A friend of mine works 2 full time jobs and a part-time job, he has 2 biological kids from current marriage and his first born from first marriage, the man is a beast, he sends his daughter gifts for bdays, helps his exwife with 50% of all costs including school supplies clothes and for her to come visit him…he pays for her mother to drop her off for summer and pick her up, and he still pays his child support in full in order to maintain his new family (this was done in NY though) the judge told him tough luck for him to have kids with his new wife and to deal with it because the first born needed him…so he doesn’t stop working he spends very little time with either kids but they are all growing up together as a famiy because they see their biological sister often…

Mine sent my 10 year old a txt wishing him a happy bday on daughter’s cell…that’s pretty much it… if they were to ask him anything he tells them himself “i sent your mother child support tell her to give you that money!”

I can’t afford a lawyer I looked all over here where I live to find one pro bono, so far no luck… And like I said I even wasted 100 dollars on a private detective money I wished i would have not spent because i have no money…

I am sorry to hear about your kids and hopefully your son will get through losing his cat, I know when my fiance’s 10 year old dog passed away that was his best friend it hurt him a lot he was down for several weeks but he made it ok with support and love…and knowing that it was his pet’s time to go…My daughter hasn’t shown signs of hurting herself or anything like that she’s happy she’s just not content with her father and i don’t talk to her about him at all nor mention anything about him anymore…I don’t want to bother her so I just don’t bring him up for anything…

Thanks. He and his wife had to have the cat put to sleep on Thursday. He was pretty upset, but I’m not sure yet how he’s really handling it now. They tend to ignore the telephone. When he was a teenager, we had a very hard time, including two suicide attempts and a couple hospital stays. We went through every psychiatrist on my insurance plan. I think we underestimate how difficult it is for our children when their parents split up. My suggestion would be to let her talk when she needs to, your other kids too of course, but be very careful not to say anything mean about him. That will come back to bite you later. You don’t want your kids to think later that they don’t have a relationship with their father because of you. He’ll take care of alienating them on his own. Good luck. This is so hard for all of you.