Exhusband wrote back...advise please

  • Thread starter Thread starter iluvmybabies
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He has a job, is working really hard at helping me with the house he just bought my children and me, a house which we will make a home soon, he sticks up for me when his family humiliates me…My exhusband never did, on the contrary he would hide his tail behind his legs and let me be constantly humiliated, my fiance will not tolerate it…I don’t see red flags coming up? Maybe you do…But I don’t… He’s hard working, loves my kids, and my kids love him…The problem with my kids wasn’t my fiance it was the fact that my daughter would talk to her father, he would make promises and not keep them and take them out on my fiance…Which was normal and natural… took her to counseling for this…
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Sounds like a keeper
 
flyingfish said:
It doesn’t have to be true. Not everyone keeps in touch with their families, not everyone interacts with extended family more than a phone call once a year or something along those lines.

Does the fiance interact with his mother frequently?
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Not anymore!! She told him she was done with him…😦 He said fine “your loss not mine!”

He used to have to, his mother would manipulate his father and his father would try to convince my fiance to visit on a daily basis they live down the road just about, and when his father couldn’t his mother would manipulate me to make my fiance go see them and call them…all the time…

When he didn’t she would take it out on me all the time…
 
joandarc2008 said:
When I married I had the MIL from you know where and we don’t speak to them. He cut off contact for awhile and he is working on himself in counseling before he can repair his relationship with them. That has to happen before I can even think of having a relationship with them. Small steps. Small steps. The elevator to peace is broken…Use the steps.
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Great advise and yes I know that if and when they decide to come around like I said they will be welcomed again I don’t hold grudges at least not for long! jkjkjk lol 😉
 
joandarc2008 said:
Sounds like a keeper
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Even with my insecurities, he accepts me with my issues, and he doesn’t discriminate against me he’s helping me elevate myself, he’s heard me talking about myself plenty of times, he doesn’t like it but he lets me vent and sits and talks to me… And we go to the priest as well so I am kind of getting some help towards a better me… you know?! But I am loving and try to do what I can without expecting anything back because that’s what my father showed me…Now my picking on myself is something I am working on…
 
And don’t get me wrong - I do it to myself to - that’s why I can see it so clearly in you. You spot it, you got it :o:p It is normal for people who have been in abusive relationships especially women
 
joandarc2008 said:
And don’t get me wrong - I do it to myself to - that’s why I can see it so clearly in you. You spot it, you got it :o:p It is normal for people who have been in abusive relationships especially women
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I mean yeah it was a hard habit to break…and like I said I didn’t stay with my ex because I enjoyed it on the contrary I couldn’t stand it the first time he ever manipulated me but the children and the children and the children and it turned out he was ma(name removed by moderator)ulating the children as well…and that had to stop…It’s one thing when it’s done to you it’s another when it’s done to your kids… I was willing to live with it was living it with mother, lol, but when the kids are involved that’s a different story…that’s a boundary I am unwilling to accept it being crossed… no matter what…
 
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