Thanks so much for your prayers! It sounded like depression to me also, but it comes on like a tidal wave out of the blue, and then it is just over and I feel great. That sounds different than depression, unless evil is using depression to attack me…not sure. Either way, I’ve never experienced this before, and know it is because my relationship w/ Jesus is being strengthened. Thanks so much for your response :angel1:
I had an experience somewhat similar to this, as I was just beginning to focus my heart on Jesus. At a certain point in my life, I began to become passionately interested in encountering Jesus myself and in developing a relationship with him. During that time, for a period of several months, these twisted thoughts began harassing my mind, trying to compel me to kill my family members.
Obviously, there are major differences between my experience and yours. In the end, when I met Jesus, I learned that my experience had been a demonic intervention in my life to try to destroy me and my family before I could meet Jesus. My parents and I prayed against demons, and the thoughts disappeared completely and immediately. I was freed, and there has never been a recurrence of those thoughts in my mind. The demon came back a few days later, and that time I actually sensed its evil and darkness incredibly, and for a few seconds I even saw the thing. It is completely cut off from my life now, though, for all the seven years now that I’ve been growing in Christ.
The only reason I bring up my experience is that from your description of what you’re going through, it sounds as though the enemy is trying to attack you, to break down your relationship with God even as it is budding. The same thing happened to me, though in a different way. This is something the enemy does. I think that they like to particularly pick on new believers, to try to squelch them before they gain a firm footing in their relationship with God, and also they like to attack people that are truly intruding on their territory in a real way. If a Christian, whether he or she mature or new to the faith, is taking a powerful stand against the enemy, that believer is more likely to be attacked. But a new believer also is particularly likely to be attacked.
From your description of what happens to you, I think that a demon is entering your household and assaulting you. Perhaps it is using depression as a tool. You’re experiencing a “darkness,” to use your own word. That’s the same word I would use to describe what I’ve experienced, when sensing an evil spirit.
If you look in the scripture, demons do use medical or scientific means to attack people. They use the physical, sometimes. I expect, however, that if you raise the cross of Christ in your household, praying that God will make it a fortress of the Holy Spirit, praying that he will send his angels to shield you, and turning your house and home and everything you have over to God, submitting all of your environment that is under your control and yourself to Jesus for his protection, so that it’s his property and not yours, these experiences will stop. I would also pray against the evil spirit, binding it in the name of Jesus and commanding it not to approach you again. And pray that Jesus will illuminate your eyes with discernment, so that you can see the truth of what is going on and know what to do.
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