Extreme disruptions during Mass

[sarah_anne_628]

I take my friend’s two and a half year old to daily mass with me…it is only half the length of weekend mass, but with only about 20 people (including the priest, lector and altar server)…even the slightest whisper can be heard!!!

Lately, what’s been working for us are flashcards. I just put them in a sandwich baggie and give them to her…she quietly ‘hands them out’ and picks them back up, counts them, puts them in the baggie, takes them out…etc… And when she gets bored with that, I have a miniature magna-doodle. She goes back and forth and that seems to do alright for us (provided we go pee potty BEFORE mass).

I’m hoping that more and more I can get her interested in what everyone else is doing (stand up, sit down, kneel, pray)…she already says “amen” (after everyone else…lol) and will sometimes bow her head and fold her hands…little things like that.

 

[Jude_Smith]

We do need to remember how great it is to see children at Mass! And going is how they learn to behave… some more easily than others, some over a long period of time. I had to remove my nine-year-old from Mass the night before Thanksgiving. She was in a mood and she is super stubborn. And I have more experience than many with children in Mass… this daughter has 6 older siblings (none quite as stubborn as she can be) and I have 11 younger brothers and sisters. I can say from experience: Don’t assume that somebody else’s kid is misbehaving because the parents are being overly indulgent!
The worst behavior issues we’ve seen happen when grandparents are trying to take kids to Mass who have not been going and are not used to the idea of sitting still and being quiet. But there again, let’s give the grandparents credit for trying.

 

[Apryl]

The OP really should have talked to the priest about the particular incident. Although we need to be patient with those who have kids at Mass (and sometimes our patience will be tried and we should just offer it up), allowing one’s child to scream throughout the entire Mass is unacceptable. The priest should have addressed the situation when it became clear that it wasn’t going to be just a few screams for a few minutes.

If a baby coos for awhile, or laughs or yells a few times, it’s not that big a deal. When it goes on for more than a few minutes, it’s time to try and get them to be quiet (taking them outside for a minute if need be- or it could just mean holding them- or changing their position). Crying and screaming aren’t as tolerable. If they don’t stop that in about a minute- and saying something to them, giving them a stuffed animal, or pacifier, moving to another place in the church, or something doesn’t help, please take them out.

What is the role of Ushers in the mass on this subject?

 

[Apryl]

LOL do any of you actually have kids? Or do you just play parental adviser on the internet? My 18 month needs to know “I’m the BOSS” urrrr big tough boss man, she’s a tiny little thing, she wouldn’t even know why she’s being hit, you guys are nuts I hope you don’t have children…

I don’t know that there is an age when the adult can’t try to control, or CHANGE the situation.

If your little one can’t handle being quieted, then you should, out of respect for others, remove your child. Then allow the child to behave in a way that is acceptable to you, when no one else has to worry about accepting it or not.

 

[m134e5]

What is the role of Ushers in the mass on this subject?

They should have gone up on their own, found the person with the screaming baby, and asked her to take the child out. There weren’t any ushers, or the ones there weren’t doing their job, so the priest should have said something himself.

 

[zab]

They should have gone up on their own, found the person with the screaming baby, and asked her to take the child out. There weren’t any ushers, or the ones there weren’t doing their job, so the priest should have said something himself.

So it sounds like you are saying that the parent, the ushers and the priest were all negligent in failing to do what they should have done.

 

[jmcrae]

So it sounds like you are saying that the parent, the ushers and the priest were all negligent in failing to do what they should have done.

Actually, the role of ushers in the Catholic Church does not include the role of keeping order in the house, unlike a movie theatre or playhouse, or concert hall. I’m not sure why that is.

 

[Melissa]

I’ll certainly grant you that older kids are easier to discipline. As they start to understand longer and longer time frames, you can introduce promises of future consequences, which helps so much. Instead of punishing on the spot, you can say “If you don’t stop that right now, I will _____ when we get home.” For my kid, that blank is usually the promise of not allowing her to read for a while, since that’s her favorite activity.

Actually, I think older kids are only easier to discipline if you started laying the groundwork of disciplining them back in the toddler days.

Personally, I think it’s a little easier to work with a parish that has lots of visuals (as opposed to some parishes I’ve visited that are almost bare of anything to look at). My parish has–between statues, Stations, and stained glass–over 30 images of Jesus so we could do the “whisper” with a “where’s Jesus?” child whispers back and points, and you can keep going–which is also a great way to introduce the parent pointing for the child at the elevations & whisper “look, there’s Jesus in Father (name)'s hands”. This also helps keep a child a little more on track with what we’re doing there. I’ll never forget visiting one parish which had virtually no art–there was one foot high eighteen inch wide relief of the Holy Family, the Stations were the simple Roman numerals & nothing more, and there was no stationary Crucifix, the processional one was it, and it was after dark so the stained glass couldn’t be seen, and then-2yo middle son’s first words on entering were “Where’s Jesus?” This was also one that plays “hide the Tabernacle” so I couldn’t even point there. So–the idea can have its downfall, unfortunately.