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wifenmommy
Guest
Well put! Exactly how I feel!!
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Well put! Exactly how I feel!!
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ChristIsLord
Guest
Is it right to remove a child from Mass and have that child miss out on the Graces recieved because people at the Family Mass canāt handle a disuptive child? Iām not sure the mother and child turning thier back on Our Lord in His house because the child is shrieking is the right thing to do. It sounds like people are making the Mass more about thier own experience rather than communal worship of God that it is.
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mercygate
Guest
Well, if NOBODY can concentrate on the Mass because of an extremely disruptive child, how does that work? If one off-the-chart disruptive child goes uncorrected, what message is that to the other children?
One of the main benefits of the family Mass is that parents reinforce one another in teaching their children what is acceptable at Mass. It is not turning your back on Our Lord to deal with reality. I believe I received as many graces when I was walking around the parking lot with my noisy baby as I did inside the building. Thatās just what you DO when you have small children. There was a great article about a year ago in Latin Mass about the spirituality of wrangling your children at Mass. The take-home point was that at this time in your life, THIS is Mass for you: not the joys of serene contemplation.
The baby wranglers are the real Saints, not we over-the-hill people who have come to a plateau in life where we actually CAN attempt to pay attention to what is going on up front.
That said, applying the āreasonable personā standard, one would āreasonablyā remove a disruptive child until he settles down and then bring him back in.
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Jude_Smith
Guest
This wasnāt our experience, and we did attend Lutheran services as well as Mass for some years as my wifeās family is Lutheran. By the time we had five children, the difference in attitude between Lutheran and Catholic churches was that the Catholics (by and large) thought our family was great, and the Lutheran attitude seemed to be, āEnough already!ā
None of the kids was particularly hard to control, though.
And I have to admit that there was one woman in our (Catholic) church who HATED sitting anywhere near our familyā¦ would turn and GLARE even though there had been no noise at all. One of our boys asked how to deal with that, and my wife said, āJust give her a great big smile.ā
(That made the woman jump up and move to another pew!)
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Jude_Smith
Guest
Actually, 40-50 years ago, my parents did go to different Masses, so someone was home with the baby. (There were 12 babies, by the way, over a 15-yr. period.) I remember going with my father, and we were quiet because we did not want to experience the alternative!Did our parents have to put up with stuff like this 20, 30, 40 years ago? When did it become a part of the mass?
Years ago, there was no āMom stay with the baby, and then Dad stay with the babyā, and people attended mass every week.
What changed?
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Kathrine
Guest
I wasnāt offended. But hairs are not being split here. The OP was talking about a single event. There could be several reasons for the disruption which she was not privy toā¦ and coming to an online forum to vent and cause scandal was probably not the best way to approach the situation.
Actually I wasnāt even thinking about Touretteās. In any case, infants cannot control the fact that they do not yet know how to speak so that they can ask for what they want. Soā¦
The OP could have, instead of letting it fester and eventually coming to an online forum to complain about her experience, gone to the parent and befriended him/her. Then asked if there was anything she could help withā¦ or even, in time, brought this up so that she could gently instruct this person on this subject.
Sometimes people just need to be reminded.
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wifenmommy
Guest
Like I said~it is not rocket science, just simple common sense~I am not these peoples parent or guardianā¦
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Melissa
Guest
In part, removing the child from the Mass is part of teaching the child to behave. Now of my children, three were very good, learned quickly to sit still and be fairly quiet. The most disruptive thing that middle son did (at age 5) was to haul his sister out into the aisle to point and loudly say āLook, Katharine, thereās Jesus!ā at the first elevation. No one seemed to get upset by that, some people even thought it was kind of charming ā¦ I still had a chat later with him about āindoor voiceā.
The boy half of my twins, however ā¦ he is a challenge. It took until he was 4 for us to even get through a Mass w/o having to step out. And yes, this was part of the disciplineāwhat happened out in the vestibule was not fun for him (deliberately not fun, I should add) and I could still listen in to the Mass through the door crack. Eventually, we got later and later into the Mass before needing to make the exitā¦
Now, heās approaching 1st Holy Communion and still isnāt perfect in his behavior, but ā¦ we give him two quarters for the candles. One prayer is for help to be good at Mass, the other one is for his Great-Grandfather (who died this last March, but this was also while my grandfather was still aliveāhe was in pretty good health right up to just before 90 when he suddenly lost his sight and then broke a hip and went into a steep decline and died at age 91). Weāve also moved to sit right up front which helps him concentrate, and I use bribery (weāll stop at the store for bagels and donuts if heās good ā¦ and the siblings are rather upset with him if we canāt stop because he wasnāt ā¦)
With my youngest son, itās always been āI am more stubborn than you are ā¦ā I have to be. But I honestly do not believe that a āFamily Massā means ādonāt bother to make any effort to discipline your childā. Yes, some children are easier than othersāand itās hard-wired in, not a parenting thing necessarily (look at my twinsātemperaments are total opposites)ābut parenting can make a difference, and I do believe the time to start is as soon as the child is no longer a babe-in-arms who may well sleep through almost the entire Mass.
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Kathrine
Guest
And itās not rocket science to have compassion for your fellow man.
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wifenmommy
Guest
But what good is it if the whole congregation is disrupted and cant even HEAR the Priest?? What good comes of that to cater to a parent that is not trying to teach their child how to behave~do you really expect the WHOLE congregation to miss what Fr is saying just to coddle this parent? Is that fair to the other families that are there trying to do as they should?
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wifenmommy
Guest
Compassion, yes, I do have it. Is this society so selfish and pc that anyone can act as they please during Mass? What did the parent teach this child by LETTING the child behave this way? Compassion only goes so far when you are apparently dealing with people that are not using common senseā¦
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wifenmommy
Guest
In part, removing the child from the Mass is part of teaching the child to behave. Now of my children, three were very good, learned quickly to sit still and be fairly quiet. The most disruptive thing that middle son did (at age 5) was to haul his sister out into the aisle to point and loudly say āLook, Katharine, thereās Jesus!ā at the first elevation. No one seemed to get upset by that, some people even thought it was kind of charming ā¦ I still had a chat later with him about āindoor voiceā. That is too precious!! Things of that nature I dont find disruptive at all!!
The boy half of my twins, however ā¦ he is a challenge. It took until he was 4 for us to even get through a Mass w/o having to step out. And yes, this was part of the disciplineāwhat happened out in the vestibule was not fun for him (deliberately not fun, I should add) and I could still listen in to the Mass through the door crack. Eventually, we got later and later into the Mass before needing to make the exitā¦
Now, heās approaching 1st Holy Communion and still isnāt perfect in his behavior, but ā¦ we give him two quarters for the candles. One prayer is for help to be good at Mass, the other one is for his Great-Grandfather (who died this last March, but this was also while my grandfather was still aliveāhe was in pretty good health right up to just before 90 when he suddenly lost his sight and then broke a hip and went into a steep decline and died at age 91). Weāve also moved to sit right up front which helps him concentrate, and I use bribery (weāll stop at the store for bagels and donuts if heās good ā¦ and the siblings are rather upset with him if we canāt stop because he wasnāt ā¦)When we moved up front when dd was small, I noticed her behavior change for the good immediately!!
With my youngest son, itās always been āI am more stubborn than you are ā¦ā I have to be. But I honestly do not believe that a āFamily Massā means ādonāt bother to make any effort to discipline your childā. YES YES YES!! Exactly my point!!! Yes, some children are easier than othersāand itās hard-wired in, not a parenting thing necessarily (look at my twinsātemperaments are total opposites)ābut parenting can make a difference, and I do believe the time to start is as soon as the child is no longer a babe-in-arms who may well sleep through almost the entire Mass.
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Kathrine
Guest
Because there might have been a good reason thatās why.
But who cares, how dare someone other then you have a bad day.
This is gossip period, it serves no purpose other then to coddle you.
But who cares, how dare someone other then you have a bad day.
This is gossip period, it serves no purpose other then to coddle you.
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Dicerning
Guest
WHy did you attend a Lutheran CHurch? And what is the point of mentioning this. Are you implying that somehow people react differently simply because they are a certain faith?
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wifenmommy
Guest
There was NO GOOD REASON for a parent to ALLOW their child to behave in this manner.
Yes it is a bad day when you cant even HEAR the Priest because some selfish parent is letting their child dictate what everyone will hear in the Mass.
This is not gossip~this is a forum for discussion. Coddle me??? HA! Wouldnt know what that was if it hit me upside the head. Let me repeat~this is a forum for discussion and if you cant be polite with your all of 19 posts, maybe you should go over the forum rules, or maybe try plain old fashioned mannersā¦
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happymommy
Guest
:slapfight: :slapfight: :slapfight: :slapfight:
O.K. ladies, back to your corners, I want a clean fight, no hitting below the beltā¦readyā¦letās go!
O.K. ladies, back to your corners, I want a clean fight, no hitting below the beltā¦readyā¦letās go!
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wifenmommy
Guest
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jmcrae
Guest
SO - you take the child outside, and attend to her needs - change her diaper, feed her, cool her off, warm her up, or whatever it is that she needs.
You donāt let her scream her head off throughout the entire Mass.
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Kathrine
Guest
The name of this forum is āCatholic Answersā not āCatholics who talk about people behind their back without giving the accused an opportunity to defend themselvesā.
I tried being gentle, but apparently you need something a little more firm. This is gossip, and this thread does nothing except stroke your wounded ego.
By definition gossip is:
I tried being gentle, but apparently you need something a little more firm. This is gossip, and this thread does nothing except stroke your wounded ego.
By definition gossip is:
- a report (often malicious) about the behavior of other people;
- a person given to gossiping and divulging personal information about others;
- gossip is idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others.
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happymommy
Guest
hehehe, I thought it was funny. Things were getting too heated you needed some slapping smiles to make you smile too.:slapfight: :slapfight: :slapfight:
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