Fabricated confession?!

[TVFL]

i’ve recently learned that a friend of mine made up a WHOPPER of a false confession (DETAILS about sexual escapades that never happened). He did it to “test” whether he would be given absolution (he was), what the penance would be and whether it would include telling his wife. It did not–his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle. No suggestion of counseling, no confession to the wife…and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

Obviously, he needs to go back and confess to the lying! That said…does anyone know if this is the “norm” for absolution/penance for such grave sins? He says he asked a friend who had confessed something similar (for real!) and the friend said he got a very similar penance from a DIFFERENT priest in a different parish…

My friend is a little down on the Catholic faith at the moment, feeling like it won’t protect marriage and family if this is the kind of response he should be getting!

PS I SWEAR I’m not trolling! I searched this site and several others before deciding to register here to ask, because I couldn’t find an answer anywhere!

 

[Carolinagirl411]

Not sure if that is the norm myself since I’m a new catholic and don’t have any sexual escapades to confess lol but, I was told by my priest that people put too much pressure on sexual sins than others when they should be treated the same. So you’d think the sexual sins would get huge penances when they are treated like other sins. I’m guessing if he told the priest that he raped and murdered someone then he would def have something to do about it, like be counseled to turn himself in.

Priests know what they are doing and they have heard every sin in the book.People sometimes put more weight on certain things but priests know how to balance things out.

 

[Fergal]

i’ve recently learned that a friend of mine made up a WHOPPER of a false confession (DETAILS about sexual escapades that never happened). He did it to “test” whether he would be given absolution (he was), what the penance would be and whether it would include telling his wife. It did not–his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle. No suggestion of counseling, no confession to the wife…and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

Obviously, he needs to go back and confess to the lying! That said…does anyone know if this is the “norm” for absolution/penance for such grave sins? He says he asked a friend who had confessed something similar (for real!) and the friend said he got a very similar penance from a DIFFERENT priest in a different parish…

My friend is a little down on the Catholic faith at the moment, feeling like it won’t protect marriage and family if this is the kind of response he should be getting!

PS I SWEAR I’m not trolling! I searched this site and several others before deciding to register here to ask, because I couldn’t find an answer anywhere!

This is a most grave situation for you both. It is grave for him as he has insulted God’s time and mercy and has asked for the Sacrament without the proper dispositions towards its worthy reception.

Of more urgency is the fact that now the situation has become most serious for you under canon law, that is of course if you are a fellow Catholic. Not only are the Priests bound by the seal of the Confessional but it is stated that anyone who gains knowledge of a confession is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, No. 983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (No. 1388.2).

If I was you, I would worry about the fact that you have revealed the contents of anothers Confession regardless of the penitent’s authenticity and seek the Confessional yourself asap.

A good rule of thumb for us all is to never discuss our Confessions with anyone not even one’s spouse.

 

[bpbasilphx]

It would seem to me that your friend should confess the grave sini of sacrilege by his deliberate misuse and mockery of the Mystery of Repentance, and not present himself for Communion until he has repented of it.

and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

**And just how did he get absolved if he expressed his intention to continue this way?

This is not ringing true.

Obviously, someone who would lie about confession would lie about anything.**

 

[TVFL]

If I was you, I would worry about the fact that you have revealed the contents of anothers Confession regardless of the penitent’s authenticity and seek the Confessional yourself asap.

A good rule of thumb for us all is to never discuss our Confessions with anyone not even one’s spouse.

in discussing it, he asked me to ask about it. i don’t believe i’m in violation if i was given permission to discuss it, but i will ask when i go to confession.

i understand that it seems fantastic that it could be true, but he swears to me that he is telling me the truth. i have only relayed what he said (and spared some of the truly gory details!)

 

[Newbie2]

This is a most grave situation for you both. It is grave for him as he has insulted God’s time and mercy and has asked for the Sacrament without the proper dispositions towards its worthy reception.

Of more urgency is the fact that now the situation has become most serious for you under canon law, that is of course if you are a fellow Catholic. Not only are the Priests bound by the seal of the Confessional but it is stated that anyone who gains knowledge of a confession is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, No. 983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (No. 1388.2).

If I was you, I would worry about the fact that you have revealed the contents of anothers Confession regardless of the penitent’s authenticity and seek the Confessional yourself asap.

A good rule of thumb for us all is to never discuss our Confessions with anyone not even one’s spouse.

OK, but how is this situation different from a hypopthetical? You and I don’t know who this friend is…but how could the OP ask this question in the first place? If he had said, “This is a hypothetical situation”, he’d be lying because it’s something that apparently has happened.

The anonymity of the internet, methinks, covers the OP. You’d be right, Fergal, if the OP had said, “My friend, Joe Blow of Topeka, Kansas did this and that…”.

However, you have good general advice in suggesting not discussing one’s or another’s confessions.

 

[LRThunder]

This is a most grave situation for you both. It is grave for him as he has insulted God’s time and mercy and has asked for the Sacrament without the proper dispositions towards its worthy reception.

Of more urgency is the fact that now the situation has become most serious for you under canon law, that is of course if you are a fellow Catholic. Not only are the Priests bound by the seal of the Confessional but it is stated that anyone who gains knowledge of a confession is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, No. 983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (No. 1388.2).

If I was you, I would worry about the fact that you have revealed the contents of anothers Confession regardless of the penitent’s authenticity and seek the Confessional yourself asap.

A good rule of thumb for us all is to never discuss our Confessions with anyone not even one’s spouse.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that the Seal of the Confessional applies only to the priest and anybody who might overhear the confession. If the person doing the confessing chooses to reveal what he said to a third party outside of confession, is that third party really bound by the Seal or only if he heard the confession while it was going on?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

No suggestion of counseling, no confession to the wife…and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

Something here smells fishy. One of the requirements for absolution is the resolve not to commit the sin again. Either your friend isn’t being straight with you or you’re not being straight with us.

Of more urgency is the fact that now the situation has become most serious for you under canon law, that is of course if you are a fellow Catholic. Not only are the Priests bound by the seal of the Confessional but it is stated that anyone who gains knowledge of a confession is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, No. 983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (No. 1388.2).

That actually applies to someone who overhears a confession. If I choose, for example, to come here and announce what I said in my last confession, the people reading my message would not be bound by the seal. If the penitent doesn’t preserve secrecy, it can hardly be binding on other people.

 

[rayne89]

Of more urgency is the fact that now the situation has become most serious for you under canon law, that is of course if you are a fellow Catholic. Not only are the Priests bound by the seal of the Confessional but it is stated that anyone who gains knowledge of a confession is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, No. 983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (No. 1388.2).

This is wrong, I can tell anyone I want what I said in confession and they are not bound by the seal of confession. It’s only if a person accidently hears what I am confessing (like sitting outside the confessional door and I speak too loudly) are they bound by the seal of confession.

 

[rayne89]

i’ve recently learned that a friend of mine made up a WHOPPER of a false confession (DETAILS about sexual escapades that never happened). He did it to “test” whether he would be given absolution (he was), what the penance would be and whether it would include telling his wife. It did not–his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle. No suggestion of counseling, no confession to the wife…and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

Obviously, he needs to go back and confess to the lying! That said…does anyone know if this is the “norm” for absolution/penance for such grave sins? He says he asked a friend who had confessed something similar (for real!) and the friend said he got a very similar penance from a DIFFERENT priest in a different parish…

My friend is a little down on the Catholic faith at the moment, feeling like it won’t protect marriage and family if this is the kind of response he should be getting!

PS I SWEAR I’m not trolling! I searched this site and several others before deciding to register here to ask, because I couldn’t find an answer anywhere!

Since your friend seems to have no problem lying to a priest in the sacrament of confession it would seem he has a problem with honesty in general. The fact that he said he was given absolution despite the fact that he said he would do it again makes this story of his very difficult to believe.
The other things like not being told to tell his wife and such is reasonable but being absolved without the firm intention of not repeating the sin is not. If in fact this story is true as he related it to you than the priest is problematic as well.
But if someone has the audacity to abuse the sacrament of confession in such a way (or pretend that he would) I wouldn’t trust anything he says.

 

[allhers]

This whole thing sounds fishy, the OP said this, and I quote:
…“his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle”…
yeah, right Go back and read it if you don’t believe me.

 

[TVFL]

This whole thing sounds fishy, the OP said this, and I quote:
…“his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle”…
yeah, right Go back and read it if you don’t believe me.

i did say this…it was exactly what he said to me. i really grilled him on whether he was telling the truth and he said “Absolutely”. I can’t explain all of the reasons why I believe he is telling me the truth about this, but the reason he did it has to do with trust issues with his wife and he wanted to know if he would ever find out if she did something and went to confession about it.

i’m not sure why this particular part of my post is why you don’t believe it.

can i ask that everyone suspend disbelief and tell me what should be done assuming this is totally true, which i believe it is, or i wouldn’t waste your time.

thank you for the answers so far. some have been very helpful.

 

[Phemie]

This whole thing sounds fishy, the OP said this, and I quote:
…“his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle”…
yeah, right Go back and read it if you don’t believe me.

I figured suffocation was a just penance. I’d have made it an hour.

Seriously though, I think the OP just forgot “front of”

Not that I necessarily believe what his friend told him.

 

[estesbob]

i’ve recently learned that a friend of mine made up a WHOPPER of a false confession (DETAILS about sexual escapades that never happened). He did it to “test” whether he would be given absolution (he was), what the penance would be and whether it would include telling his wife. It did not–his penance was 15 minutes of prayer in the tabernacle. No suggestion of counseling, no confession to the wife…and this AFTER he said he would do it again.

Obviously, he needs to go back and confess to the lying! That said…does anyone know if this is the “norm” for absolution/penance for such grave sins? He says he asked a friend who had confessed something similar (for real!) and the friend said he got a very similar penance from a DIFFERENT priest in a different parish…

My friend is a little down on the Catholic faith at the moment, feeling like it won’t protect marriage and family if this is the kind of response he should be getting!

PS I SWEAR I’m not trolling! I searched this site and several others before deciding to register here to ask, because I couldn’t find an answer anywhere!

Being your friend admits he lied to the Priest and being he is “down” on the Catholic Fatih why would you believe anything he says?

In addition the fact he says he got absolution even though he told the Priest he was going to commit the sin again makes this story very hard to beleive.

 

[rayne89]

i did say this…it was exactly what he said to me. i really grilled him on whether he was telling the truth and he said “Absolutely”. I can’t explain all of the reasons why I believe he is telling me the truth about this, but the reason he did it has to do with trust issues with his wife and he wanted to know if he would ever find out if she did something and went to confession about it.

i’m not sure why this particular part of my post is why you don’t believe it.

can i ask that everyone suspend disbelief and tell me what should be done assuming this is totally true, which i believe it is, or i wouldn’t waste your time.

thank you for the answers so far. some have been very helpful.

TVFL a person can not pray “in” the tabernacle.

 

[TVFL]

I figured suffocation was a just penance. I’d have made it an hour.

Seriously though, I think the OP just forgot “front of”

Not that I necessarily believe what his friend told him.

OH! My terminology was off! Oops! Now I get why someone would grab this…yes, I meant in front of it.

And…I know I didn’t say so in my post…but I’m a she not a he. But it’s not really germaine to the discussion.

 

[allhers]

i did say this…it was exactly what he said to me. i really grilled him on whether he was telling the truth and he said “Absolutely”. I can’t explain all of the reasons why I believe he is telling me the truth about this, but the reason he did it has to do with trust issues with his wife and he wanted to know if he would ever find out if she did something and went to confession about it.

i’m not sure why this particular part of my post is why you don’t believe it.

can i ask that everyone suspend disbelief and tell me what should be done assuming this is totally true, which i believe it is, or i wouldn’t waste your time.

thank you for the answers so far. some have been very helpful.

I’m sorry, but not only does the guy sound like a liar and an idiot but that isn’t the purpose of confession either, (to find out if his wife did something.) The man needs more than a good confession.
We don’t pray in the tabernacle either. The only person in there is Jesus, perhaps he ought to spend some time praying to HIM in front of the tabernacle. Perhaps he could take the Cathechism with him and read about confession/penance while he’s at it.
In the future, don’t believe everything people tell you, the guy sounds like a con-artist.
Since he’s already made it clear that he’s a liar, why believe anything he says?

 

[TVFL]

i didn’t say the guy doesn’t have major issues. i was just relating what he told me (which i do believe, despite his obvious willingness to lie…not an excuse, but he is a convert who was without any religion for many years after spending his childhood in a VERY anti-Catholic religion. it has been a struggle for him, although he believed he was doing the right thing when he converted.)

i’m sorry i bothered all of you. perhaps i’ll take my question to a less judgemental forum.

i was being serious, but i guess if everyone here doesn’t “know” me, i can’t be taken seriously (except by a few–thank you for that). thanks for a great welcome

 

[rayne89]

Your friend made up a story about an affair to see if the priest would tell him to tell his wife about it because he doesn’t trust his wife and wanted to know if she was cheating on him if the priest would tell her to tell her husband?
If this story is true you friend has mental problems. He sounds like a paranoid control freak. Make a strong suggestion that he see a mental health professional.

 

[allhers]

i’m sorry i bothered all of you. perhaps i’ll take my question to a less judgemental forum.

i was being serious, but i guess if everyone here doesn’t “know” me, i can’t be taken seriously (except by a few–thank you for that). thanks for a great welcome

We’re talking about your friend here, not you. The guy isn’t being honest with you.