Face to face confession--my experience today

[reaganjn]

during RCIA today i asked about confession. i am absolutely scared to death about doing my first reconciliation. just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. i even cried today in RCIA just talking about it. please give me some advice on how to make my first reconciliation easy:frighten:

 

[acadian]

during RCIA today i asked about confession. i am absolutely scared to death about doing my first reconciliation. just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. i even cried today in RCIA just talking about it. please give me some advice on how to make my first reconciliation easy:frighten:

Reagan, it is not easy to sit down with another person and admit to them the failings in your life. And you will be nervous. But it will be OK! In 30 something years of going to confession, I have never been met by a priest who is unkind.

Know that it is Jesus whom you are going to talk to, and He already knows all the things you are going to tell Him. The priest is there in His place to give Him a human face and voice and as the church’s representative to reconcile you to the church, as well as to God. The priest has heard it all. He will not be shocked, or gasp in horror, or ask you how you could do such a thing, or fuss at you for what you have done. You will be met with mercy and kindness.

Meditate on the story of the Prodigal Son. THat is exactly what we do in confession. We run to tell the Father all the things He already knows. And He runs out to meet us and pours forth His mercy.

You will be OK. List your mortal sins. You do not need to give in-depth play-by-plays. “I engaged in premarital sex with my fiance’ for 2 years before we were married” is enough information. “I robbed a bank and shot 3 people on the way out.” “I stole items worth several hundred dollars from a business on many different occassions.” “I looked at porn on the internet several times a week for the past 10 years.”

Pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you in the things you need to confess. Pray for the priest who will hear your confession. Pray for the strength and courage to make a good, honest confession. Ask others to pray for you. I will.

Jesus tells us “Be not afraid”. He did not come to condemn you, and neither should the priest who is sitting in His place. Look at this sacrament as an intimate encounter with Jesus - a private meeting.

Chances are, you will feel great when you are done!

 

[reaganjn]

Reagan, it is not easy to sit down with another person and admit to them the failings in your life. And you will be nervous. But it will be OK! In 30 something years of going to confession, I have never been met by a priest who is unkind.

Know that it is Jesus whom you are going to talk to, and He already knows all the things you are going to tell Him. The priest is there in His place to give Him a human face and voice and as the church’s representative to reconcile you to the church, as well as to God. The priest has heard it all. He will not be shocked, or gasp in horror, or ask you how you could do such a thing, or fuss at you for what you have done. You will be met with mercy and kindness.

Meditate on the story of the Prodigal Son. THat is exactly what we do in confession. We run to tell the Father all the things He already knows. And He runs out to meet us and pours forth His mercy.

You will be OK. List your mortal sins. You do not need to give in-depth play-by-plays. “I engaged in premarital sex with my fiance’ for 2 years before we were married” is enough information. “I robbed a bank and shot 3 people on the way out.” “I stole items worth several hundred dollars from a business on many different occassions.” “I looked at porn on the internet several times a week for the past 10 years.”

Pray to the Holy Spirit to guide you in the things you need to confess. Pray for the priest who will hear your confession. Pray for the strength and courage to make a good, honest confession. Ask others to pray for you. I will.

Jesus tells us “Be not afraid”. He did not come to condemn you, and neither should the priest who is sitting in His place. Look at this sacrament as an intimate encounter with Jesus - a private meeting.

Chances are, you will feel great when you are done!

thank you soo much for your kind words and advise!!:thankyou:

 

[vee8]

Im in my 20s and grew up with face to face confession but am not a big fan of it. I will do it if I have to but for some of my most embarrassing confessions it helped to be behind the screen, so I think the option should always be available.

 

[peary1]

*I haven’t confessed face to face in a few years, not since we lived in PA. Today, there were two lines for confession, one was for face to face. I opted for that, and I can’t express in mere words how beautiful it was. The priest held my hand, and as he absolved me, placed his hand on my forehead. It was so personal, so special…I think I might opt for this from now on. He prayed with me, with our heads bowed after giving me my penance, while he held both of my hands. Have any of you ever experienced such a close and personal confession as this?

Absolutely wonderful experience. Just wanted to share with you all, and wondering if you like face to face confessions, too?*

I am glad you found it a spiritually uplifting experience. Personally, I don’t believe in face-to-face confession. It’s unnecessary.

 

[tsteeves]

Thank you for everyone’s kind words. I am calling around to see if any of the priests in our city are hearing confession today. (Finger’s crossed)

I was up most of the night thinking about this. My husband is not the most supportive when it comes to religion. He kept wondering why I was still lying in bed awake. Meanwhile I was trying not to cry too hard.

I was really just feeling overwhelmed.

Thanks again. I will let everyone know how I make out.

T

 

[whatevergirl]

Good evening,

I too am just finding my faith after many, many years of “falling off the wagon”.( I think I have only been to church 5 or so times in the last 25 years) I have been reading as much as I can about all things Catholic. I hadn’t realized that to receive communion was a no, no for those who have not had confession. (MY BAD) Although I did have a long conversation with GOD asking for forgiveness.

I honestly cannot remember ever having my first confession. I must have though, I remember receiving all the other sacraments other than baptisim of course.

That being said. I am terrified. I attend a very small parish (less than 100 parishoners) I really like our priest, he is young and is the first priest to ever make me feel welcome, and not just some figure head that I was terrified to talk to.

I know for sure he would know exactly who I was even behind the curtain. I’m really worried about what he will think of me.( I worry about what anyone thinks of me) I realize that he has probably heard it all.

In particular I have two sins that have been really eating at me. Both happened before my return to the church, and have not happend since.

Would it be wrong to go to confession with another priest at another parish, just to keep my sins confidential? This is really eating at me. I want to do everything right and I really have no one to guide me though this.

Thanks,
T

*Hi T;

Nothing wrong with going to a completely different parish, for confession, to a completely different priest from your ‘norm.’ I do this, not for any other reason, but my parish is a grassroots one (only been open a year), and we didn’t have confession hours for a while. I just read in yesterday’s bulletin, that we will be having confessions on Saturday mornings…yay! So, I most likely will go to the priests of my parish. But, there is nothing ‘‘wrong’’ with going to another parish that is not the one you belong to, for confession. Welcome back also to the faith, and may you have a memorable and holy Christmas season. :hug1:*

 

[whatevergirl]

I am glad you found it a spiritually uplifting experience. Personally, I don’t believe in face-to-face confession. It’s unnecessary.

Yes, not necessary…but Jesus was face to face with sinners when He told them to go and sin no more. But, I agree…not ‘‘necessary,’’ but it was very moving, to my pleasant surprise.

 

[tsteeves]

I called around and can’t seem to find anyone who is doing confession today. I have been on the verge of crying all morning, for this an just life in general.

I think I mentioned above, my husband is not very supportive. He really doesn’t understand how I’m feeling at all. Its not that he wouldn’t LET me go to church all these years that I have been away. He would just make comments that would make me feel bad about going. And paint all priest bad for the sake of just a few. I went right from my parents home to living with him, so I never got to experience life as an adult being able to make and be responsible for my own desicions. Basically I just did whatever he wanted and followed his lead…good or bad as I had done under my parens. Now don’t get me wrong…is is a wonderful guy, a great father, and a supportive husband in many other ways…just not when it comes to religion or things he doesn’t want. He has a good way of manipulating a situation so that his decision or wishes look as if they were your own.

I need to head off to work.

Bye.
T

 

[whatevergirl]

I called around and can’t seem to find anyone who is doing confession today. I have been on the verge of crying all morning, for this an just life in general.

I think I mentioned above, my husband is not very supportive. He really doesn’t understand how I’m feeling at all. Its not that he wouldn’t LET me go to church all these years that I have been away. He would just make comments that would make me feel bad about going. And paint all priest bad for the sake of just a few. I went right from my parents home to living with him, so I never got to experience life as an adult being able to make and be responsible for my own desicions. Basically I just did whatever he wanted and followed his lead…good or bad as I had done under my parens. Now don’t get me wrong…is is a wonderful guy, a great father, and a supportive husband in many other ways…just not when it comes to religion or things he doesn’t want. He has a good way of manipulating a situation so that his decision or wishes look as if they were your own.

I need to head off to work.

Bye.
T

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, T. I tell my children this ‘‘advice,’’ and I’ll offer it to you…don’t let ANYONE ever keep you from the Eucharist. Don’t let anyone, no matter how much you love that person, come between you and your faith. It’s not easy when a spouse is not on the same page as the other, if the other spouse wishes to practice his/her faith. My heart and prayers go out to you, I know that can be difficult. You want to ‘‘please’’ your spouse, and thus, you disappoint yourself. I encourage you to not allow your husband to make you feel badly for wishing to practice your faith…and if he does, so be it. Be strong, and maybe the example you set before him of how strong you are in your faith, will cause him to wish to explore the faith, too. Never know. I will be praying for you …that you can find a parish offering confession, soon. God bless, merry Christmas, and keep the faith. :console:

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

I called around and can’t seem to find anyone who is doing confession today.

Did you simply ask if the priest was hearing confessions today? If so, then they probably just told you the regular confession schedule.
What you need to do is tell them that you really need to talk to the priest today about something personal or that you’re requesting an appointment for confession. Unfortunately the priest by actually be busy all day, however, he should be able to come up with a mutually available date/time to meet.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

during RCIA today i asked about confession. i am absolutely scared to death about doing my first reconciliation. just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. i even cried today in RCIA just talking about it. please give me some advice on how to make my first reconciliation easy:frighten:

There’s no reason to be frightened. The only reason you would have cause to go to another parish for confession would be if you sinned against your parish priest or your parish and it would be a “conflict of interest” for the parish priest to hear it.
Otherwise, trust me, we don’t spend time thinking about what was confessed. We don’t recall what you confessed when we see you again. And we don’t talk to anyone about what you confessed.
Just relax and be yourself. Instead of focusing on your sins, focus on the mercy and love of God that is poured upon you in the sacrament.

 

[JimG]

Im in my 20s and grew up with face to face confession but am not a big fan of it. I will do it if I have to but for some of my most embarrassing confessions it helped to be behind the screen, so I think the option should always be available.

According to canon law, the option to confess anonymously MUST always be available.

 

[msugeotech]

I also enjoy the face-to-face confessions myself. I have confesses anonymously only once, and just really didn’t like it. I’m glad it was such a great experience for you!

 

[Elizabeth502]

I looked at his face while I was confessing, then I’d look away…for a moment, I felt like I was with Jesus. This priest’s eyes literally twinkled. I know what I saw, and it was really something. I know that priests are in the persona of Christ in the confessional, but…it really felt like Jesus was there. Like we were the only two in the entire church. It was very moving, I won’t forget it ever.

I’ve had a virtually duplicate experience, and similarly I will never forget mine. (It was about 8 yrs. ago.) The priest was merely a stand-in for Christ. It was seeing Acceptance and Mercy face-to-face. I’ve also had bad or disappointing face-to-face experiences, like others here. But the good one was so powerful that I actually always seek to be open to the availability of a repeat performance, so to speak – because these experiences are very transformative/healing for me, in terms of changing my behavior. I say “open,” because I don’t think they can be forced or assumed, so I totally understand how anyone here can be turned off if it doesn’t go well. I think we just have to sense when it’s right to do it. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to be our guide in leading us to those opportunities when they arise and get a feel that the Spirit is moving us in that direction. Also perhaps having a devotion to Faustina helps.

For me, this is one of the values of the occasional Communal Reconciliation Service which includes individual confessions. I used to look around and watch the body language of the various priests in whatever visible stations they were in, and you could pick up clues as to which priests were especially “present” to others. Not foolproof, mind you, but it sometimes is an indicator.

 

[rep140]

during RCIA today i asked about confession. i am absolutely scared to death about doing my first reconciliation. just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. i even cried today in RCIA just talking about it. please give me some advice on how to make my first reconciliation easy:frighte n:

I’m a cradle Catholic who did not go to confession for many years. A few years ago our parish had a confession service before Easter. Here you go to individual confession and they had about a half dozen priests. I decided to screw up my courage and go. Right until I walked into the church I was ready to turn around and go back home. I had some whoppers to confess and wottied that I might not be forgiven.

I started confession by saying “Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been so long since my last confession that I can’t even guess when it might have been.” If I made it that far I wasn’t going to be cheated so the priest heard about my sordid past. When I was finished the first words from the priest were “Welcome home”. A definition of joy was how I felt after receiving absolution.

If you are coming into the Church at Easter look around for a parish confession service. No way would I have gone to my pastor for fear that he would recognize my voice.

 

[rep140]

wottied

worried

 

[peary1]

Yes, not necessary…but Jesus was face to face with sinners when He told them to go and sin no more. But, I agree…not ‘‘necessary,’’ but it was very moving, to my pleasant surprise.

A priest is NOT Jesus Christ. The Lord works THROUGH them, but they are not God! But of course you KNOW that…

The reason as to why there developed the Confessional was for the protection of both priest and the one confessing. Did you know that because of the Inquisition in Spain back in the 1500s that the Church “weeded out” clerics who were requesting sexual favors from some of those whose confession was being heard? This came as a total surprise to me. In fact, the Inquisition found 223 cases of blatant “solicitation” by a member of the clergy during face-to-face hearing of a confession between the years 1530-1819. And the clergy involved were severely punished for this.

This information comes from a unique study titled *Sexuality in the Confessional: A Sacrament Profaned *by Stephen Halitzer, Oxford University Press, 1996. This is why Saint Padre Pio was very insistent on hearing a woman’s confession in the Confessional while he heard men both within and without the Confessional.

Personally, I prefer the anonymity of the Confessional as opposed to face-to-face.

 

[whatevergirl]

A priest is NOT Jesus Christ. The Lord works THROUGH them, but they are not God! But of course you KNOW that…

The reason as to why there developed the Confessional was for the protection of both priest and the one confessing. Did you know that because of the Inquisition in Spain back in the 1500s that the Church “weeded out” clerics who were requesting sexual favors from some of those whose confession was being heard? This came as a total surprise to me. In fact, the Inquisition found 223 cases of blatant “solicitation” by a member of the clergy during face-to-face hearing of a confession between the years 1530-1819. And the clergy involved were severely punished for this.

This information comes from a unique study titled *Sexuality in the Confessional: A Sacrament Profaned *by Stephen Halitzer, Oxford University Press, 1996. This is why Saint Padre Pio was very insistent on hearing a woman’s confession in the Confessional while he heard men both within and without the Confessional.

Personally, I prefer the anonymity of the Confessional as opposed to face-to-face.

• We are telling our sins to God through the priest…yes, I know that. I guess my above point wasn’t clear.

What you post here is surprising, no I didn’t know that! I appreciate you sharing. I was actually going to inquire if anyone knew here of when the face to face turned to a confessional. I am going to read more into that, too…that’s really interesting. *

 

[Elizabeth502]

A priest is NOT Jesus Christ. The Lord works THROUGH them, but they are not God!

A powerful encounter with any human being can reveal, or create, an experience of immediacy with Christ. Three things make this possible, converging in time: a spiritually attuned priest; a very receptive/open/prepared penitent; the action of the Holy Spirit.

I know exactly what the OP is talking about. It is as if (the priest, in this case, but in can be other people in other cases through whom Christ is acting directly) the priest is momentarily transformed for the benefit of the penitent. I don’t think actually that the priest is transformed, but that we are transformed: transformed to see, hear, experience, receive.