A
Anglewannabe
Guest
Yes it is mean and immature. However, some people show off and that does get to be too much. But in that case, the best is not to look at the FB of a show off
- Status
A
Anglewannabe
Guest
Agreed ! The behaviors and attitudes are the same but the medium of exchange IE face book is new.This used to come out in overly-long Christmas letters.
.
I can remember my mom’s Christmas letters from the late 70’s/early 80’s. She used to start it out with ‘Dear Folks’ so she would photocopy it and send the same one to everybody. The lack of personal touch made me ill (and I was around 10). One year me and my brother complained all through out Christmass eve from having to go to mass early to get a seat, to having to have to wait to open presents. In her new year’s letter she wrote about ‘the lovely mass we attended as a family and the delicious treats we had afterwards’
All she did was go out and buy a shrimp ring and the shrimp were soggy and gross.I am chuckling now as I write this but how phony ! Thank God she does not want to go on face book, she would probably have everyone thinking I was the advisor to the prime minister in Canada . ha ha ha ha
G
Gordon_Sims
Guest
I think it’s a brand or symptom of narcissism. I don’t think it’s jealousy, per se, but more a notion of them thinking that someone as lowly and unworthy as [basically anyone other than themselves] doesn’t deserve that level, or any level of happiness, therefore, if they’re posting anything positive about their life, it must be a lie and/or bragging. At the same time, if you post anything negative they see it as pandering for attention, which is wrong because only they should be allowed to do that.
For the record, I’m not trying to take anything away from genuine attention-seekers, a lot of whom are the same ones bashing folks for daring to say they had a nice day. I used to have one friend on Facebook who used to post follow-up posts to earlier posts complaining about the fact that not enough people replied with attention or sympathy to her previous attention grab. If you went too long without tossing her an attention cookie, she’d send out emails telling everyone was a horrible person you were for not praising/lamenting her enough.
C
CradleJourney
Guest
I do have to deal with bad fits of FB jealousy over the too wonderful posts my friends make sometimes. I hope that doesn’t make me mean. It’s not that I wish them any less, but just like someone on a diet who has a sweet tooth shouldn’t hang around the dessert bar, I know that as someone who cannot afford to travel, I really need to avoid FB during fall break.
And in my experience (having a set limit of 150 friends, mostly parents of kids that my kids are friends with or else select family members or co-workers), it’s simply that when things go bad, people tend not to post because they are dealing with situation. So my friend may throw up one post mentioning the kids have the flu - and include no further details thankfully. But when they take a trip during break, there will be 30 or more posts plus lots of pictures. It’s not bragging - it’s sharing. But when over half your limited friends do that in the same 2 week break, it can certainly make me feel depressed and envious that we are not doing the same.
Also in FB land, the more “likes” a post gets, the more likely it is to show up on your newsfeed - and at the top of it. And of course, good news (esp. with fun photos) is going to get many more likes than everyday drama posts like a broken appliance.
On the other hand, FB is such an amazing benefit to me as a mom because I get “the scoop” on what’s happening with the various schools, teams, activities, community events, family events, etc. that go on - and since I don’t have a smart phone (no texting) I’d be lost without this source of info!
So it’s a balance. When I start feeling depressed or inferior, I try to remind myself that it’s my perception - not true reality that’s getting me upset and I take a break from it.
A
Allegra
Guest
What constitutes “showing off”? Isn’t that sort of in the eye of the beholder? Some posters have mentioned things like posting photos of a trip to Europe. I’m pretty sure that if I got to go to Europe, my family and friends would want to see pictures. The last time I went some place cool, everyone said, “Take plenty of pictures!”. That’s the sort of thing people used to say. Now they say, “Don’t show off?”
I’ve seen opinions posted on blogs that suggest that people should refrain from posting complimentary things about their spouse, because obviously you are “sugar-coating”. No one’s spouse is “all that” and it bothers people who are at odds with their spouse.
I’ve seen similar rants stating that people should not post about their children because some people don’t have children and pictures of other people’s children make them feel bad. What the heck?! What do these people do in real life? Hide out under a rock? They should be heading toward the shrink’s office at an urgent pace if they can’t muster up some affection for the adorable babies of their own relatives and friends!
I can agree that there’s a considerable amount of oversharing of rather superficial information on facebook. I don’t really need to know what everyone ate for dinner last night, unless it comes with a recipe or an offer to come over and enjoy the leftovers. It doesn’t ruin my life, however, if my cousin posts her turkey dinner and I’m eating Kraft Italian Spaghetti Dinner tonight. It’s probably less-than-productive to share your running milage and speed on a daily/hourly basis. Maybe just give us the rundown in a few weeks as far as how much you’ve improved. My self-esteem isn’t destroyed if my friend is staying fit and I’m still fat though. (Especially since I just ate Kraft Italian Spaghetti Dinner) I just don’t get the whole notion that someone is doing something wrong by posting things they are passionate about because someone else has a jealousy issue.
A
Allegra
Guest
I don’t think it’s mean to feel that way. Feelings are feelings. It’s probably not the most healthy feeling to encourage, but at the end of the day, it’s just a feeling. What’s mean is when people actually vocalize those feelings and call other people out or unfriend them because they don’t want to know about the good things happening in their life.
A
Anglewannabe
Guest
Yes, it is in the eye of the beholder but it is also the vibe the person posting gives off. It is like in real life. I use to work with a woman who constantly talked about how she liked the finer things in life and how she was going to get an interior decorator and the big party she was throwing for her son’s first communion. She had a husband who earned good money. She would interrupt my work day to tell me how much she spent on her designer socks.
The one day something nice happened to me ie a man told me a was pretty, I wanted to tell about the comment I got. Her immediate response was to tell me ‘Oh yeah men say to me all the time’ and brushed me off like dirt after all the time I listened to her good fortune
When it got to be too much for me, I told her ‘All you talk about is your material possessions and it is getting on my nerves’ She got VERY defensive and told me that she deserved these things because she took care of the kids of a successful man and I need to learn not to be jealous.
So, if someone is always monopolize the situation and making it about their good things and belittleling everyone else’s good things, yes it is showing off.
If someone enjoys listening to other’s good fortune and is happy to see the pictures on face book of other people’s trips, then yes, those people can take a turn and post their pictures of their trips
Angie
B
Burt_Macklin
Guest
I don’t believe for a second that the average person has about 350 friends, the average for a facebook profile. Most of those people on the list are your social rivals, frenemies or at best just indifferent to your happiness or wellbeing. These aren’t people that want to see you succeed. Sharing information about a great vacation, spouse, or child is seen as rubbing it in everyone’s face. I think the best thing to do, if you’re the one getting or causing the jealosy, is to clean up your facebook.
A
Allegra
Guest
Between my large family, and my husband’s enormous family, I could easily put a big dent in three-hundred people. Plus, some people choose to have their friends from work and church. I don’t think that seems so extreme. However, if some people do put people they dislike on their facebook accounts, then I guess it stands to reason that they get irked when good things happen to those people. I guess it just doesn’t make sense to me why they put themselves through it in the first place. I mean, you get to control who is on your facebook page. Why put people you don’t like on there, if it just annoys you? I guess I don’t really have any social rivals or “frenemies” anyway, being a grown woman and not 13-years-old.
PS- Out of curiosity, I checked how many friends I have. I am currently at 110, but as I said, I never put people from my job on there, no matter how much I like them, and try to stick to people I know real well.
G
Gordon_Sims
Guest
I fully expect friends to post pictures of their vacations, but occasionally people cross the line into showing. My friend who went to Disney for the first time this summer and posted 50-100 pictures a day seemed a lot more excited than showing off. The friend who went to Los Angeles & Beverly Hills a couple years ago and posted pictures of every single expensive pair of shoes and article of clothing she bought, along with pointing out the price and saying stuff like, “Don’t you wish you could afford that?” was, in my opinion, showing off. Coincidentally, she’s the one with the photoshopped selfies.
The people who get worked up over positive posts about spouses and children really need to get a life. Yes, there are some whose posts are annoying and disingenuous, but when I post a picture or two from my daughter’s First Communion or my kids’ first day of school I’m not bragging or trying to sugarcoat my life.
J
jab42483
Guest
Wife and I are the same on Facebook as we are in real life; goofy. 
God bless social media, it allows us to communicate and spread the Gospel to those we otherwise wouldn’t communicate with. It has created multiple friendships that otherwise wouldn’t be.
God bless social media, it allows us to communicate and spread the Gospel to those we otherwise wouldn’t communicate with. It has created multiple friendships that otherwise wouldn’t be.
S
Sophie_Lawrence
Guest
I don’t go on facebook much, just for some games. I don’t post anything, except inadvertently if I get a high score in one of the games I play.
I don’t care what people post about their lives. If everything is great, God Bless.
I do find the various memes sometimes annoying. And I have a cousin who lives across the state who will post local news about a missing dog every so often. I can’t help out, sadly because I live so far.
And some people like drama, so I avoid those ones.
I don’t care what people post about their lives. If everything is great, God Bless.
I do find the various memes sometimes annoying. And I have a cousin who lives across the state who will post local news about a missing dog every so often. I can’t help out, sadly because I live so far.
And some people like drama, so I avoid those ones.
S
Sarcelle
Guest
A friend uses social media as a way to advertise her own home based business.
It’s worked quite well for her.
It’s worked quite well for her.
V
Vanny
Guest
I’m happy and pleased to see friends and family’s photos including vacation, new home purchases, ect. I certainly show mine! However there is a dark side to social media and I always instructed my kids to be careful what they share on facebook, ect as pictures shared in cyber space are forever and can never really disappear even if they delete them off their own account. I think they listened to me.
Yes there can be lots of good on facebook or twitter but there is a dark side too that parents should warn their kids to watch out for.
Yes there can be lots of good on facebook or twitter but there is a dark side too that parents should warn their kids to watch out for.
M
marymary1975
Guest
Me too! I only have people.that I know.personally and many of the people in ny friend`s list have known me forever. To me is a way to contact family or old time friend in my natal country. Besides using it to chat with family and personal.friends I use it to.keep.contact with my crazy cat ladies friends and to share everything about cats. Anyone that does not know.Me.personally would die looking at my Facebook as 85% of my posts is about cats or pictures of cats LOL.
M
marymary1975
Guest
I have a large family and my husband’s family is.large too. Only between pur family is about 140 people. Add.infancy and.school.friends.that have been friends with me for.20 to.30.years is almost 200.people. there are about 60.people in my crazy cat ladies.club so we are up.To.about 260. Add law.school.friends.from my country of.origin.and law.school.friends.in the US and I am.over 300 people…all this 300 people that I know.personally that have great appreciation for me and want to keep our friendship alive. So.I highly doubt that when I share information.people.see it as rubbing it. In fact the complain that I have received particularly from.family is that I post too much about cats and too little about the kids
N
Naskor
Guest
Facebook is the feature film. In comparison their real life is the “behinds the scenes” features.
P
Polluted
Guest
I hate facebook. Nothing but drama and pro secular stuff…not to mention it’s a huge cause of divorce now these days. Far to easy to see an old high school sweetheart and to get a little tooooo curious.
- Status