A
AEPAG21
Guest
Hi everyone! I’m quite new here, but my name is Ashleigh, I’m turning 16 in about a week and a half. I’m in desperate need for advice. Basically I was baptized Catholic when I was 4 months old, my mum’s side of the family is very religious and have taught be about Jesus. I’ve always believed and I’ve always thought the stories in the bible are just awesome. Basically in February I was going through a really tough time. I have autism, which has also lead to OCD, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and schizophrenia. People were bullying me, and everything was just going wrong. Despite my strong faith, I began to doubt God, he hadn’t answered any of my prayers about getting better and being accepted by others. And I began to loose my faith in Him.
After a few days I started feeling wrong, I felt I didn’t have God with me. Before that I could feel him with me 24/7. I’ve been through episodes of begging him, and episodes of just not bothering because it’s too hard without him. There have been one or two occasions where I felt him with me, like one I was at a camp in April, and the man doing a sermon told us all to close our eyes, and told us God will come to us and tell us what we need to hear. I felt him tell me my best friend (who is Catholic but not religious or spiritual) wanted to believe but didn’t know how. I talked to her and God was right! That was amazing for e because that was also the first time God really talked to me directly.
But I’ve always believed, I know He’s with me even though I can’t feel him anymore.
I also loooooooove science, I take biology in school and I love it. This semester we’ve learned about cells (mitosis and meiosis, organelles, etc.), DNA and RNA, and evolution. I’ve enjoyed learning about all this stuff, and thought natural selection, artificial selection and all of Darwin’s theories are pretty cool. It wasn’t until last night at my youth group (which is a Baptist youth group, even though I’m Catholic) we talked about science vs. christianity. We talked about what we believe about the creation, and how they all thought evolution was a pile of trash. I’m here believing that it was God who created a single plant cell and a single animal cell that eventually evolved into everything we see today. But they’re completely believing in what Genesis says about creation. I guess I kinda merged science and Christianity when it comes to creation. But I do kinda believe in evolution, because there is some proof. Just as much proof as there is God being real.
I’m currently torn between science and faith though. Like, I believe in many different things compared to what the bible says, because what I believe is what God has showed me. He wouldn’t have given me such a big interest in science - especially biology and cosmology - if I wasn’t meant to believe it.
My initial beliefs are:
• God created the universe, and a single animal cell, and a single plant cell on Earth. And evolution has kinda taken over from there, but evolution has still been guided by God, because how could nothing create things that are so complex and perfect, even if it’s just one trait at a time over million and billions of years. To me evolution makes a lot more sense than everything appearing in 6 days. But God still made it all happen.
• I believe in all of Jesus’ teachings 100%. I don’t hate. I treat everyone with total respect no matter how they treat me.
• God makes everything happen for a reason. He makes us how He wants us to be. Even if those things don’t reflect him.
• After we die, we live with Him. In paradise. So we don’t really die, it’s just our bodies, our shells, our disguises that die. Then we go to heaven and live in total peace with him and our loved ones.
But I’m also desperate to be close to him. I’ve read some devotionals out of a magazine I received last night, and read a couple on the internet. I want to say my faith is strong again. And are my beliefs strange? At my youth group last night they really didn’t agree or accept my beliefs about creation. Which I think is dumb because you should accept with everyone’s opinions because everyone has different opinions. It’s frustrating and makes me feel like I’m abandoning my faith even though God has a massive part in all my beliefs.
After a few days I started feeling wrong, I felt I didn’t have God with me. Before that I could feel him with me 24/7. I’ve been through episodes of begging him, and episodes of just not bothering because it’s too hard without him. There have been one or two occasions where I felt him with me, like one I was at a camp in April, and the man doing a sermon told us all to close our eyes, and told us God will come to us and tell us what we need to hear. I felt him tell me my best friend (who is Catholic but not religious or spiritual) wanted to believe but didn’t know how. I talked to her and God was right! That was amazing for e because that was also the first time God really talked to me directly.
But I’ve always believed, I know He’s with me even though I can’t feel him anymore.
I also loooooooove science, I take biology in school and I love it. This semester we’ve learned about cells (mitosis and meiosis, organelles, etc.), DNA and RNA, and evolution. I’ve enjoyed learning about all this stuff, and thought natural selection, artificial selection and all of Darwin’s theories are pretty cool. It wasn’t until last night at my youth group (which is a Baptist youth group, even though I’m Catholic) we talked about science vs. christianity. We talked about what we believe about the creation, and how they all thought evolution was a pile of trash. I’m here believing that it was God who created a single plant cell and a single animal cell that eventually evolved into everything we see today. But they’re completely believing in what Genesis says about creation. I guess I kinda merged science and Christianity when it comes to creation. But I do kinda believe in evolution, because there is some proof. Just as much proof as there is God being real.
I’m currently torn between science and faith though. Like, I believe in many different things compared to what the bible says, because what I believe is what God has showed me. He wouldn’t have given me such a big interest in science - especially biology and cosmology - if I wasn’t meant to believe it.
My initial beliefs are:
• God created the universe, and a single animal cell, and a single plant cell on Earth. And evolution has kinda taken over from there, but evolution has still been guided by God, because how could nothing create things that are so complex and perfect, even if it’s just one trait at a time over million and billions of years. To me evolution makes a lot more sense than everything appearing in 6 days. But God still made it all happen.
• I believe in all of Jesus’ teachings 100%. I don’t hate. I treat everyone with total respect no matter how they treat me.
• God makes everything happen for a reason. He makes us how He wants us to be. Even if those things don’t reflect him.
• After we die, we live with Him. In paradise. So we don’t really die, it’s just our bodies, our shells, our disguises that die. Then we go to heaven and live in total peace with him and our loved ones.
But I’m also desperate to be close to him. I’ve read some devotionals out of a magazine I received last night, and read a couple on the internet. I want to say my faith is strong again. And are my beliefs strange? At my youth group last night they really didn’t agree or accept my beliefs about creation. Which I think is dumb because you should accept with everyone’s opinions because everyone has different opinions. It’s frustrating and makes me feel like I’m abandoning my faith even though God has a massive part in all my beliefs.