Family Problem~Need Advice

[Lilyofthevalley]

If you want to get a P/T job at nite–you should be able to. It’s his child he’d be caring for–and baby would be sleeping anyway.

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…and if the baby woke up at an inopportune moment, for him, and would not stop crying,perhaps this “man” would grab a crucifix and yell “satan” at the poor baby. Perhaps WORSE. In 98% of cases with people who show abusive behavior towards their spouses/girlfriend carry this behavior over to their children.

 

[Leah_Mommy_of_2]

To all:

In reply to the one poster who said I wrote this in the fit of the moment…yes I did. My mother is older and I hate to stress her out with things like these, and I don’t want to burden my friends with the problem either.

He came back and we were silent to each other. I called his mother and we talked and prayed together. She came to take the kids away for a few hours so I could rest. Finally I got the nerve to speak to him. We have made plans to see a Catholic counselor and are going to speak with the priest this week.

Under advice of our baby’s pediatrician, we took her to Children’s Hospital last night around midnight. She had a fever, was very lethargic, and very congested. They took blood and urine samples, gave her chest xrays, and told us if the tests came back “iffy”, they’d have to take a spinal fluid sample. We prayed and held her and lots of the frustrations and hurt came out in whispers to each other, and we resolved to do whatever it takes to make this work. We know that separating is emotional abuse to the kids, and we do have a deep love for each other.

I am active in our parish…I was a VBS teacher, and help out with Children’s Ministry and the Elizabeth Ministry. He is very proud of the role I take in the church. We discusses at home employment such as Avon, etc, but since I’m not a very good salesperson, we have decided I will get a job for not more than two days a week.
I thank you for all your prayers and kind words in my time of need. This forum has helped me in so many ways since I’ve joined.

Love and peace to you all

Leah

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

Leah Mommy of 2:

To all:

In reply to the one poster who said I wrote this in the fit of the moment…yes I did. My mother is older and I hate to stress her out with things like these, and I don’t want to burden my friends with the problem either.

He came back and we were silent to each other. I called his mother and we talked and prayed together. She came to take the kids away for a few hours so I could rest. Finally I got the nerve to speak to him. We have made plans to see a Catholic counselor and are going to speak with the priest this week.

Under advice of our baby’s pediatrician, we took her to Children’s Hospital last night around midnight. She had a fever, was very lethargic, and very congested. They took blood and urine samples, gave her chest xrays, and told us if the tests came back “iffy”, they’d have to take a spinal fluid sample. We prayed and held her and lots of the frustrations and hurt came out in whispers to each other, and we resolved to do whatever it takes to make this work. We know that separating is emotional abuse to the kids, and we do have a deep love for each other.

I am active in our parish…I was a VBS teacher, and help out with Children’s Ministry and the Elizabeth Ministry. He is very proud of the role I take in the church. We discusses at home employment such as Avon, etc, but since I’m not a very good salesperson, we have decided I will get a job for not more than two days a week.
I thank you for all your prayers and kind words in my time of need. This forum has helped me in so many ways since I’ve joined.

Love and peace to you all

Leah

That is good that you are going to counseling,but please do not jump into marriage until you see that these serious issues are resolved.The cricifix thing is a sign of violent tendancies.Also, porn addiction is serious although alot of people do not feel it is, these women are being looked at as objects for his pleasure and you couple that with violence,I am fearful for you.God Bless and sparkle please read through her statement again, it sounds like he has very serious issues that could keep him from being capable of a true,loving and committed relationship.

 

[Grace_and_Glory]

do not jump into marriage until you see that these serious issues are resolved

I second that. I have known people who dismissed what they thought was just one or two incidences before getting married only to find once they were married that the “isolated” incidences were part of a larger pattern of behavior. Often in cases like these, one partner is trying to “win” the other, and once the partner is won, they see no incentive for good behavior, because they already met their goal. (Sorry, I know that last sentence was awkward.)

I also want to warn you that it sounds as though this man is showing abusive tendencies, and after an incident like the one you described, there is often a “honeymoon period” when everything seems like it is going well. Seek lasting change, not just tearful apologies or gifts (hallmarks of the honeymoon period).

Once again, I will be praying for you. I hope things work out for good for everyone involved.

 

[juliegh23]

Was this the first time he has ever acted this way to you in two years? The content of the thread, and the seriousness of the situation indicate that it probably was not the first time. I want you to consider this question, if he has a violent temper, and it seems he does, what if the baby wakes up in the middle of your shift? What if the baby doesn’t stop crying? What extent of violence is this man capable of? It only takes one instance of shaking a baby for brain damage to occur. You need to put your children first. What kind of home do they want to live in?