family situation

[iamMyBeloveds]

J.M.+J.T.

Dear Monica,
Praised be Jesus Christ!
I know exactly what you mean when you say you have both a fear of being called and a fear of not being called. I struggled with this for a long time!
I understand being worried about your parents too. I am entering a religious order this Fall, and I wish I could give you a big hug right now and tell you I’ve been in your shoes too! :hug3:
My dad was diagnosed with a progressively degenerative disease (Parkinson’s) four months after I applied and got accepted into a religious order. (I have not entered the order yet, as I have to finish college in a couple of months). My sister is a very busy woman with her own family, so the guilt of not being home to take care of my dad, and mom one day, is there.
My Superior told me something very valuable, because the worrying about my parents came up several times in conversation with her. She explained that the convent where I am entering takes care of the elderly. She told me to remind my parents that I am joining an order that dedicates itself to taking care of the elderly. Why would I spend my life taking care of other people’s parents and not my own eventually if I join such an order? My parents have nothing to fear!
The Sisters have let some of the Sisters’ ailing parents stay at their Homes for the Elderly. Also, they have let some professed Sisters go to their own homes for a couple of months to care for their parents before death. Things can be worked out as you go along with the community if you enter an active community.
Here is something my Spiritual Director lovingly told me once:
“The Lord has been taking care of your parents even before you existed. What makes you think that you will do a better job than He can? He’ll take care of them after you enter.”
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions! God bless you!
You will be in my prayers!

 

[zaramarie81]

thanks!

I believe that God does have a plan for me… sometimes I just feel so scared cause …well I feel really stuck, like I don’t have the opportunity to be what I want to be, - but maybe this is for a reason, maybe this is a way of putting His will above my own.

It’s just that when I look at the consecrated religious life, I always think it’s so beautiful because it’s entirely for God, and it’s almost like laying down your life for Him… and I wish I could love God like that, but I don’t know if in my situation I can be a nun. (although, I don’t know the future). I wish I could be His spouse. But maybe He has a plan for me somewhere else. I know that I should just be happy to do whatever He asks.

Sometimes I get this thought, and - *it might actually be from the enemy… *but I start wondering if being ‘in the world’ is “lesser” somehow, and if God wants me to be in the world, does that mean that He loves me less. I know that’s pretty wrong and I regret ever having these types of thoughts. I like what St Therese said, that people are like flowers but not everyone is a rose or a lily, others are little flowers that should be content to be as they are. And His love can shine through them just as much. I’ve always felt little too. So even if being a nun is the greater calling (and there is a whole variety of opinions out there about this), not being called there shouldn’t be a problem for me, and if it is, that’s probably because of my pride. But I still can’t help but get these thoughts sometimes, what if God loves me less than He loves the Saints or even the religious, yet…I know He loves everyone completely…

and I know that it’s always the best for us to be obedient to what God asks, - that is what matters, it’s really not about our personal holiness, it’s **primarily **about bringing God glory and helping to build His Kingdom and bring souls to Him

wow sorry my posts aren’t making much sense, I don’t really know how to express what I’m trying to say.

Monica - (This is my sister’s name, btw. )

I think I can relate to your many thoughts. My mind has been filled with such thoughts, except for me, the desire of my heart is marriage!

For starters, generally I think marriage and religious life are equally pleasing to God, however… if God is calling you specifically to religious life then I think it would be safe to say that staying “in the world” would be the lesser option for you. I guess the key is to find out where God wants you, and as you pointed out, you have a few years to discern still.

I have often wrestled with where our desires fit into God’s will. I read of a saintly woman who yearned for religious life but God called her to married life pretty clearly. She ended up with a wonderful, devout husband and loving being a mother to her four kids. I will confess that story sent me spinning… it made me wonder if God would call me to be religious even though I yearned for marriage! It seems in some cases our desires line up perfectly with God’s will, with glowing stories of people’s wildest dreams coming true. And in other cases, the vocation is a sacrifice.

My story, like yours, has yet to be resolved. As I’ve posted in other threads, my 20’s have been a dream in every aspect of my life - great career, wonderful family and friends, etc - except my vocation discernment. In that realm it’s been tears, tears, and more tears - harder than I ever could have anticipated. But those tears have merit and when it’s all said and done, it will have been worth it to follow God’s will no matter where He leads. I wish I could offer you more concrete answers, but that’s all I’ve got.