Family Trouble at 17

  • Thread starter Thread starter jeanne71350
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

jeanne71350

Guest
Hello everyone,

Well, lately I have had just about enough with my family. I’m 17 years old. My dad is suffering from Parkinson’s disease, and my mom is kind of struggling with that. I love them anyways though very much.
My grandmother is suffering from a gambling addiction. She is always going to the casino, even during family times like birthdays and weddings. She dosen’t just go to the nice ones either, she goes downtown to the truck stops with really shady people to get her gambling fix. This is causing her a lot of pain, and she really says mean and hurtful things to everyone. She gossips like no tomorrow and complains all the time. She told me I needed to go to Weight Watches… Everyone knows she has a problem but nobody says anything.
My aunt’s daughter passed away in the fall from a drug overdose, and she has been really taking it hard. It’s been a struggle for her, becaue this is the second child she’s lost. Her step-son (my cousin) recently announced that his girlfriend is pregnant. They had been dating for awhile, and nobody really liked her because she would lie about everything. We didn’t say anything to spare his feelings.
In addition, my other aunt came to Christmas completely baked on drugs. She kept taking all kinds of perscripton meds, and it go to a point where she was not concious. She would talk nonsense and like fall asleep at the dinner table. You can only imagine how my other aunt, who lost her daughter to drugs, reacted to this.
I really can’t take much more of this anymore. Everyone is fighting and it really pains me to spend time with my family because of all of this nonsense. I really need help!

Thanks,
-Jeanne
 
I am so sorry for all your struggles! No 17 year old should have to deal with so much.

All I can say is, I will pray for you, and I encourage you to keep your chin up, be helpful around the house, but realize there is only so much you can do. Pray for your family members, and also take time for yourself.

Hang in there! I know it must be so hard.
 
I am sorry you have to deal with so much at your age. I dealt with alcoholic parents when I was a teenager and I honestly have to say that I didnt know life could be so much better living away from them. I still see them nowdays ( I am 30 ) and we have a good relationship, but it is great not living with them and seeing their problems everyday.

Do you have someone you can confide in or have support from? Whether it be a priest or someone special at church. It sounds like your entire family is quite close. Are you and your mom close? I think you need a support group to help ou get through this until you are on your own and you can get away from it when you need to.

You have my prayers.
 
Is it uncharitable for me to want to leave town as soon as possible for all of this? I really want to go to college away because of all of this family drama.

-Jeanne
 
Sina said:
I am sorry you have to deal with so much at your age. I dealt with alcoholic parents when I was a teenager and I honestly have to say that I didnt know life could be so much better living away from them. I still see them nowdays ( I am 30 ) and we have a good relationship, but it is great not living with them and seeing their problems everyday.

Do you have someone you can confide in or have support from? Whether it be a priest or someone special at church. It sounds like your entire family is quite close. Are you and your mom close? I think you need a support group to help ou get through this until you are on your own and you can get away from it when you need to.

You have my prayers.
Click to expand...
No, I’m not really close to my mom. All of this is affecting her. She is kind of keeping all of this bottled up, and it’s not healthy. Sometimes she has breakdowns. Sometimes she takes it out on me by getting really upset over little things I do, like if I forget to fold the clothes or something. I’m really close to my dad, and I really lean on him for support. He is strong although he is sick. And I have really wonderful friends, one of which has a similar situation. We give each other lots of support.

Thanks for the concern and prayers.

-Jeanne
 
SpaceNeedle said:
I am so sorry for all your struggles! No 17 year old should have to deal with so much.

All I can say is, I will pray for you, and I encourage you to keep your chin up, be helpful around the house, but realize there is only so much you can do. Pray for your family members, and also take time for yourself.

Hang in there! I know it must be so hard.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for the support, I appreciate it very much.

I find my place is to not get involved with anything. And not give my grandmother or anyone else a reason to critizize me. I just don’t add fuel to the fire.

-Jeanne
 
dear jeanne,

it is not uncharitable for you to want to make some distance between you and all the bubbling-over family difficulties.

but it would be uncharitable for you to demand your family foot the bill if they didnt agree with your decision to get away. if they agree and have the cash, sure. ask them.

if they disagree? or if they dont have the money to help you? then it would be unfair to expect that.

and you must find new ways to support your mom and dad through his devestating illness. ways that simply IGNORE all the everyday extended family catastrophes like addictions and interractions and conflicts and nastiness, etc. and of course, if there’s no other kindness you can show to your grieving relative, then pray so much for her poor mother’s heart. but you’re too young to take on her hatreds and resentments and blaming of others. you cant fix her of that.

most of all though, no matter where you are, your tendency (though you hate to think it could be this way) might be to carry the fiasco with you. you may find yourself trying to recreate crisis wherever you go.

jeanne, Jesus wants you to have peace in your soul. if you find that you dont really have that, if you find that you sort of stir the pot wherever you go in a subconscious attempt to recreate crisis, then please*** please*** find counseling.

the stuff that’s happening in your family doesnt have to keep happening in your life, but you may need to learn new skills (and really rely on God’s awesome grace) to make a new kind of life for you. you may need to seek out good counseling.
 
monicatholic said:
dear jeanne,

it is not uncharitable for you to want to make some distance between you and all the bubbling-over family difficulties.

but it would be uncharitable for you to demand your family foot the bill if they didnt agree with your decision to get away. if they agree and have the cash, sure. ask them.

if they disagree? or if they dont have the money to help you? then it would be unfair to expect that.

and you must find new ways to support your mom and dad through his devestating illness. ways that simply IGNORE all the everyday extended family catastrophes like addictions and interractions and conflicts and nastiness, etc. and of course, if there’s no other kindness you can show to your grieving relative, then pray so much for her poor mother’s heart. but you’re too young to take on her hatreds and resentments and blaming of others. you cant fix her of that.

most of all though, no matter where you are, your tendency (though you hate to think it could be this way) might be to carry the fiasco with you. you may find yourself trying to recreate crisis wherever you go.

jeanne, Jesus wants you to have peace in your soul. if you find that you dont really have that, if you find that you sort of stir the pot wherever you go in a subconscious attempt to recreate crisis, then please*** please*** find counseling.

the stuff that’s happening in your family doesnt have to keep happening in your life, but you may need to learn new skills (and really rely on God’s awesome grace) to make a new kind of life for you. you may need to seek out good counseling.
Click to expand...
My parents said that I can go away if I get a scholarship. That is just motivation for me to work hard.

I will try to find counseling. I really need to go.

-Jeanne
 
for counseling, ask at your parish for Catholic Social Services-- or look them up in the yellow pages.

how wonderful for you that your studies are good enough to hope for some scholarships!! dont get discouraged. even if you werent facing so many family difficulties, this time can present so many challenges!

so, your family is in agreement that you may move away for school. then, no jeanne, it’s not uncharitable for you to want to move away at all. a young person who has worked hard to get good grades is not wrong to want to continue to study, try a little family distance, test out some on-your-own skills.

stay close to Jesus and to His Blessed Mother Mary. every answer you could ever need, every favor, every grace and love can be found in HIM, through Her.
 
monicatholic said:
for counseling, ask at your parish for Catholic Social Services-- or look them up in the yellow pages.

how wonderful for you that your studies are good enough to hope for some scholarships!! dont get discouraged. even if you werent facing so many family difficulties, this time can present so many challenges!

so, your family is in agreement that you may move away for school. then, no jeanne, it’s not uncharitable for you to want to move away at all. a young person who has worked hard to get good grades is not wrong to want to continue to study, try a little family distance, test out some on-your-own skills.

stay close to Jesus and to His Blessed Mother Mary. every answer you could ever need, every favor, every grace and love can be found in HIM, through Her.
Click to expand...
I’m also discerning a vocation to religious life…and I think that doing it away from my family will be best. Because I don’t know how they will react.

God, Jesus, Mary, and the Saints are my family when mine isn’t what I want it to be. I love them so much, and they have granted me so many blessings and help.

-Jeanne
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top