fear

[Monica4316]

I have a question,
what is a good way to deal with fear? how do you deal with it?

Lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of fear…

I’m entering the Church this Easter and all this day I’ve been wondering if I’m making a mistake I don’t know how to deal with this… my first Confession is on Wednesday… and I can’t spend hours in prayer cause I have to study for my exams.
I was baptized Eastern Orthodox as a child and some people have been telling me that I’m putting my salvation in danger by leaving the Orthodox church…this has caused me so much worry and sadness this past year.

I’m also afraid about the future sometimes… (btw, I’m 22) I have no idea what career path to take, and I don’t know what God wants for me… I also don’t know if God wants me to marry or if I have a religious vocation. It’s so confusing at times. I have a natural fear of being a nun but sometimes I wonder if this fear would prevent me from following through with what *just might *be God’s will for me… sometimes I think what if I get married and at the end of my life regret not having been more open to a religious vocation. (even though marriage is a wonderful vocation too, I’m just talking about myself here!)

I know that the answer is “trust God” but I don’t even know what He wants and if I’m going against His will or not?

what do you think is a good way to deal with fear or at least what’s a good way of looking at it?

any advice at all…?

Wednesday is approaching lol…

 

[MarieVeronica]

Hi Monica. First, do not be afraid to enter the Church. God has led you here. And now that you’re this close, the enemy is doing his best to turn you back. Don’t listen to those lies.

You will find the fullness of Christ’s truth… within the Catholic Church. I’m speaking from personal experience. I was a “Cradle Catholic” who fell away for 10 years. In that time… I too, searched. I looked at different religions… and I also ignored “religion”. But during all that time… I found nothing that filled my heart… the way that the Church and the Sacraments do. I found NOTHING out there… that even came close, to what I had been accustomed to in the Catholic Church.

Only when I returned… did I realize, how MUCH I had missed the Catholic faith. And especially, the Sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion. I’ve been back for over 4 years now, and I have truly wept tears of joy… more times than I can count. I have fallen “head over heels” back in love with Jesus ; and I realize now, how badly I took the faith for granted, and that Jesus never left my side. And I will never leave Home again.

As far as dealing with fear… these words speak more eloquently than anything I could ever say:

“Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed; I am your God. I will strengthen you, and help you, and uphold you with my right hand of justice.” (Isaiah 41:10)

God bless you, Monica. You are in my prayers. :hug1:

 

[Ambrose]

Fear is all about self and is inward driven, at least in the context you mentioned here. During this passion week try to unite yourself with Christ and meditate on what he went through. We all are, at one time or another fearful, it’s a normal human emotion to be concerned about the future.

Pray, confess, recieve the sacraments, read scripture. I can’t remember the exact number but it’s something like 350 times in the Bible are the words ‘fear not, be not afraid’ or other references to fear are made. You can see how concerned Christ is about you & your present state. Satin has you where he wants you if your fear gets the best of you, he wants you paralyzed with fear.

I’ll pray for your intention.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I stumbled upon this thread, Monica—I guess not ‘by accident.’

What they said! I’ll be thinking of you.

 

[apromisemade]

First, know that you are not alone. I’m not Catholic but often attend Catholic Masses and I frequently grow fearful and uncertain in the presence of those who seems so confident in their faith. Not that I don’t believe God loves me, just that He is the only one who really understands.

But also, remember that God has His hand on you and will never abandon you no matter what. There have been many times where I lapsed in my faith, sunk into self-pity and despair, and could’ve cared less what God had planned for me. But somehow or another, He always found a way to come in and save me at the last second and draw me back to “the path of righteousness for His names sake.” He had me by the hand even though I didn’t realize it.

You don’t have to always know what you’re “supposed” to do to please God and do His will. I was just as a Mass yesterday and I realized the best thing I could really do to keep my faith strong and not lose touch with Gods will completely was to be like the women in the Gospel who stayed near Christ even during his crucifixtion. They couldn’t save Him or defend Him, they didn’t proclaim His teachings or do anything dramatic, they simply stayed close to Him, even when it must’ve been incredibly painful.

The way I see it, His love for you is a perfect love. But you don’t have to be perfect for Him, all you have to do is try. He knows what’s in your heart.

Anyway, I’ll get off my pedestal now

 

[Trishie]

A warm hug. I ask Jesus to surround you with His light and love.

Seeking God’s will
God, You see me anxious about discerning the right course, and then my subsequent doubts. I fear that if I misconstrue Your will, someone may be denied what You would delight to give through me. Bless them, supplying what my selfishness or confusion denies them.

I trust that whatever good I honestly attempt will be guided and transformed by You, regardless of my obvious failures. Perhaps when I die, I may discover that my present life hides the overflowing richness of Your love embracing others through my efforts and prayers.

Please ccept my gift of myself to You.
Temper my faith and faithfulness in Your love within the events of my life.
Burn away my sinfulness and apathy through daily responsibility and prayer.

Let everything for which You created me, be completely fulfilled.
Worship and delight Yourself in my life.

A difficult decision

Our God, guide in my decisions regarding the dilemma that has shadowed me periodically during the past few years. I seek to be wise and charitable in my decision although I understand that it may confuse others. Others know little regarding what I have endured or considered, but all truth is known to You alone.

Our God, whatever I attempt, achieve or leave undone in my efforts to find the best path for my activities and relationships, let Your desires and the good of others, along with my own welfare and development, be abundantly fulfilled. I trust in You, who write straight with crooked paths, to grant this prayer through Jesus Your Son.
October 2007

 

[Epistemes]

How do you deal with fear? Trusting God.
How do you trust in God? Quiet your mind and your heart, and allow the Spirit to guide your. Say, “Not my will, but thy will be done!”
When you’re lost beneath the great waves of uncertainty, turn to our Lord who says, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.”

I’ve read your posts before, Monica, and you’ve proven to be an inspiration and reassurance to many people here, both new and old Catholics alike. I know that I have been touched once or twice by your postings of St. Faustina’s diary. In fact, on reading this thread of yours, I was shocked to learn that you’re not Catholic already!

As for marriage or your religious vocation, don’t worry about these things right now. You’re first vocation is that you’ve been called by Christ to live the Christian life of a laywoman. Take pride in that! According St. John Chrysostom, a saint beloved by both Eastern and Western spiritualities (), “The beatitudes pronounced by Christ cannot possibly be reserved for the use of monks” (or nuns) “alone, for that would be the ruin of the universe.”

 

[Monica4316]

thank you everyone! hugs I really appreciate your help!

I think right now, either the devil is REALLY trying to get me to give up on converting, or God is trying to show me it was never His will!! I’ve never been doubting as much as right now… but I really hope and pray that I’ll get through this. After all, it’s the last week. If you have a moment please say a Hail Mary for me I’ll be really grateful
thanks and God bless!!

 

[MarieVeronica]

Dear Lord, please guide Thy daughter Monica. Please show her Thy Holy Will… and Thy Holy Plan, for her life and her future. Please bring peace and courage and serenity to her heart and fill her with approaching Easter Joy. This I ask, through the merits of Thy Son… Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

---

Our Father, Who art in Heaven…
hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come…
Thy Will be done…
on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses…
as we forgive those,
who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit;
as it was in the beginning…
is now and ever shall be…
world without end. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace…
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and Blessed is the Fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God…
pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[brigid12]

Remember, St. Teresa of Avila’s saying/prayer:

“Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you,
all things pass away:
God never changes.”



He is bigger and stronger and more powerful than any mess that we humans can do (even crucifying His Son!!!).

Welcome home!

 

[Monica4316]

thank you so much MarieVeronica and Brigid :hug1:

In the past even when I doubted, I could always say “I believe that Jesus lead me to the Catholic Church and that I’m becoming Catholic for Him.” But now, I can’t even say that, I feel like I have barely any faith left… this morning, I was completely 100% sure that He wants me to be Eastern Orthodox!! (this is primarily what I’m struggling with) I feel so torn in two directions, and I no longer know what His will is… and my first Confession is coming up soo soon: it’s on Wednesday. I don’t know how to go there feeling so unsure about the whole thing. But now I had this thought, **Jesus had to endure so much more on the Cross **and I pray that during this time I’ll still be able to trust Him, and to carry my own little cross joyfully…

 

[sawman]

Dear Monica,
The meaning of courage is to do the task at hand, despite the fear. God is with you, and know that come this time next week, you will have accomplished what you now fear. Decide now to try with all your will, to ignore your fear, Jesus knows what fear is and how to overcome it. He is leading you now through your freinds here.

Peace,
Tom

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

thank you everyone! hugs I really appreciate your help!

I think right now, either the devil is REALLY trying to get me to give up on converting, or God is trying to show me it was never His will!! I’ve never been doubting as much as right now… but I really hope and pray that I’ll get through this. After all, it’s the last week. If you have a moment please say a Hail Mary for me I’ll be really grateful
thanks and God bless!!

I’d bet good money it’s not God’s will for you to quit!

I’d also bet good money who’s filling your head with these doubts.

Ave Maria!

 

[brigid12]

I’d bet good money it’s not God’s will for you to quit!

I’d also bet good money who’s filling your head with these doubts.

Ave Maria!

:clapping:

Before I converted I deeply considered the Eastern Orthodox Church(es), however even though they have all the same (and valid) Sacraments they don’t have the successor of Peter. Having been an Anglican I really, really appreciated the papacy!! (Another difference is that many Eastern Orthodox are very eastern European. Being genetically from NW Europe I felt quite strange.) However, the differences are small except for Authority and while listening to the ex-anglican bishop of London describe what he had found in the Catholic Church on CA Radio - well it hit me - hard. He, like me, had been an anglo-catholic, so the differences were also small other than Authority. He said that he realized that the reason he had not moved before this to the Catholic Church was pride. Boy, that sent shudders through me.
My guess (and it is only that) is that He is allowing you to doubt your previous decision to enter the Church because He wants you to be sure that you can intellectually make the decision, rather than only from feelings. He wants all of you so you can “make a defense for the faith that is within you”.

 

[Monica4316]

thanks guys! hugs

oki I think I just understood (at least part of) my problem that’s causing me so much worry.!!!

But I really don’t know how to solve it… and I have very little time…

oki whenever I imagine myself becoming a Catholic this Easter… it almost seems unreal, and I wonder - WHY am I becoming Catholic anyways?? what lead me here? It’s like I forgot everything! I don’t know why I feel that way… can any other converts relate at all??

and this has caused me to doubt if I should be Catholic at all… and I began to wonder: what if this is God trying to get me to stay Orthodox… by suddenly making my conversion seem like it SHOULDN’T happen. I honestly don’t know anymore why I want to be Catholic and I’m even wondering sometimes if my whole journey was in my mind!!

oki and then I realized another thing…

I never actually told the Orthodox priest that I’m converting I was going to, but then didn’t have an opportunity… and I didn’t want to use email… but today I sort of realized that maybe it would be the honest thing to do…? in the EO church there are two priests, so I just emailed one of them and asked him what is the Orthodox position on Catholicism. Now if he replies…should I just tell him that I’m converting?? I’m soooo scared I can’t even explain LOL!!! But maybe then I’ll make it more “official” and then on Sunday I’ll be more sure about my decision?

Well here’s what I’m afraid about… I don’t want this to affect my family in any way? I mean… I don’t know how the priest would react!! In the EO church it’s seen as a really good thing if you raised your kids up in the faith (as it is in the RCC I’m sure…) and if you havent, it’s like you’ve “failed”… and I don’t want anyone at my old church to think any less of my family, like “now they have a Catholic…”

I don’t know if this is making any sense.

I also honestly don’t feel like my conversion is REAL anymore, and I’m wondering if this is God trying to prevent me from converting? But probably this is just something in my mind?

Can someone please give me any advice at all, lol, I’m really lost, and there are only a few more days left… and my first confession is tomorrow!!! I don’t feel ready at all, and I can’t believe it’s REALLY happening!!

I also have this fear… people have told me if I leave the Orthodox church that’s putting my salvation in danger… and sometimes I feel soo afraid!!

 

[Monica4316]

I guess what I’m saying is, for the first time ever, Catholicism does not feel like “home” to me

and I no longer know what is God’s will…

and how can I go to Confession like this? how can I take the step to become Catholic like this… and how can I tell the EO priest that I’m converting?

i’m also worried cause the EO church never phoned me back about my baptism date. See I never got a baptism certificate… and neither did any of my family members… so we decided to just ask for all of us, because it’s good to know. (my family is Orthodox and not converting to Catholicism, btw, only I am). But there has been no answer yet…

I talked to my Catholic priest and he said, no worries, we’ll just leave blank that part on the certificate, and then when I know, then he’ll fill it in…

but now I’m worried that I’ll never know, and I’m also worried that if I tell the priest I’m converting, then it would be even more unlikely that they’ll tell me

I just don’t know what to do, and there’s a day left LOL.

anyone have ANY thoughts at all?

 

[brigid12]

Honey, you’re a mass of worries!:hug1: Confession may actually help you (if the d. has a hand in this). When you go to the parish church, either before or after, go to the Blessed Sacrament and let Him take care of you, along with His mother. Read Luke 11:9-13, Luke 12:32. Ask Him to confirm His Will in your conversion. Since you come from the EO, the big thing you are dealing with is the Petrine Primacy (John 21:15-17 and Matt. 16:17-19). Ethnicity is probably not a problem for you.
Since I don’t know of the practices of record keeping in EO churches I can’t help there (and I imagine there are ways to get the information you need - you could check with the Eastern Catholic or non-Catholic forums here to see what they say), but that isn’t the reason for your cold feet. And as far as your parents and family, if this is God’s Will then it would be a favor to them, right?
I doubt that you’ve made up your faith and spending time with Him in the Blessed Sacrament may very well give you back some strength (as will Confession, itself!). What will give you the certain knowledge that you’ve done the right thing is when you receive Him in full communion with His Church on earth!!!

 

[Monica4316]

thank you Brigid hug

I just prayed the Rosary and I feel more calm now… but periodically I have these severe “attacks” of doubt where I feel so strongly that God wants me to be Orthodox… and that worries me cause I start thinking what if it’s true… but then other times, I get the same thing with Catholicism!! So that just shows how unreliable feelings are lol. I know one thing though, when I feel at peace, I always feel I should be Catholic. So I’m going to try to make it to Easter, but most of all I’ll try to rely on God and our Blessed Mother… the Rosary really helped me, and I really want to pray it every day!!

Tonight, I made a list of all my sins for confession… turns out I broke every one of the Commandments during my life well hopefully this will be a humbling experience for me… and I do trust in God’s mercy, though my list of sins is really quite horrible. I actually feel kind of nervous, and I’m sure I’ll feel really nervous once I get there, lol, but I am planning on praying before the Tabernacle first… and I’m sure that it will be so great to be free of all that sin!! wow! can’t wait, really

I also wrote out the Act of Contrition to say… the one that goes “O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You…”

I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow!! I hope I won’t go through any more of these doubts and I feel that my Mother is taking care of me here…

God bless!!

 

[Salonika]

Monica, I’m sorry that your conversion is leading you into fear and anxiety but sometimes this is inevitable when we change. Also think that we can be fearful when we are between situations - the old has gone, the new has not arrived.

In case they are helpful here are some of the things I do when I am fearful

I try and work out what I fear? And is this my real fear or is their something below it?

What’s setting off this fear? - in my case often its fear of making a mistake and people thinking less of me.

What is the worst thing that can happen if I do make a mistake?
Sometimes I take it to the extreme and that’s enough to make me less fearful.
Most mistakes can be corrected and anyway making a mistake may have a good result.

If someone’s comment eg people telling you that you are putting your salvation in danger by leaving the Orthodox church, then try to keep in mind this is their opinion. Because someone says something (or because it’s written down doesn’t make it correct).

If the situation gets tense, or you don’t want to talk about it with someone or at that time you have every right to thank the person for their concern and say you do not wish to discuss the situation further.

Sometimes, too, the situation is made worse if the person has thought out all their arguments before hand but you have to answer off the cuff.

Also spend some time thinking about good decisions you have made.

About fear or uncertainty about the future - that’s natural and probably goes on until the day we die. The person who makes the decisions you describe will be a different person from the person you are today. You will also be able to get lots of assistance from within the Church and you might like to look at getting a spiritual director who can help you with your discernment. They can a provide a framework to work within. plus someone you can test your ideas on without putting a damper on them because they do not seem practical.

Hope Wednesday goes well.

Now I’ll read the other replies and see what the other posters said.

And with our advice and suggestions - also remember they may tell you more about us that what you should do.

 

[Salonika]

brigid12:

Confession may actually help you

This came into my mind just before I read Brigid’s comment. Sometimes saying things out loud, in itself, helps in clarifying things for us. Preparing for confession may also be helpful in itself

Monica4316:

I just prayed the Rosary and I feel more calm now… but periodically I have these severe “attacks” of doubt where I feel so strongly that God wants me to be Orthodox… and that worries me cause I start thinking what if it’s true… but then other times, I get the same thing with Catholicism!! So that just shows how unreliable feelings are lol. I know one thing though, when I feel at peace, I always feel I should be Catholic. So I’m going to try to make it to Easter, but most of all I’ll try to rely on God and our Blessed Mother… the Rosary really helped me, and I really want to pray it every day!!

Reading the first part of your quote brought to mind the feelings that some of my friends had before they married and afterwards said “why ever did I doubt I should marry?”

Can’t make any suggestions about handling this fropm this perspective (as I’ve never married) but it may resonate with some posters who are (or they may tell me I’m well off beam.) Of course, sometimes these are doubts were real!!

Also think sometimes our minds need calming down and doing something that has a physical aspect can be helpful in changing our fear from a scary shapeless monster into something more tangible or at least give us a respite so that we can hear the still, small voice of God.