T
Twenty3verse4
Guest
Hey, everyone! First, I would like to say that I’m very happy to be a member of this forum, and I feel blessed to have come across such an informative and helpful website!
Initially, this will sound like a “get to know me” thread; however, it is not. I think that by telling y’all a bit about myself and my past, you’ll know how to help me…
My name is Ryan, I’m 18, and I’ve been Catholic my whole life. I have received the Sacraments of Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist, and Confirmation…
…despite being Catholic for 18 years, I didn’t begin to actually comprehend, understand, or “follow” my religion until about a year and three months ago…
…after spending grades K-8 in Catholic school, my mother decided to pull me out of the private school system and enroll me in a public school. While attending public school, I slowly began to lose sight of God. I became consumed with sins of the flesh, and cared more about my public image than my relationship with God. Blinded by sin, and falling to temptation, I fell off God’s path…
…then, about a year and three months ago, “things changed”. Long story short, I had a burning desire to “ditch sin” and seek out God and happiness with Him. Without a doubt, this was the best “thing” that has ever happened to me, and despite all my sins, I formed a healthy, loving relationship with God and Jesus.
Since then, I have studied Catholicism and religion much more seriously, and have built a solid understanding of what it means to be Catholic.
Then, an incident took place about two weeks ago…
…I was sitting at Dunkin’ Donuts with two of my friends, talking about God. They were asking me questions about the legitimacy of the Bible and telling me about their doubts. To the best of my ability, I answered their questions…then one friend said this:
“How do we know the Bible is true? I mean, how could the apostles have written down, word for word, all that Jesus had said? What if there is no God, and the Bible is simply a farce?”
Dumbstruck, I fumbled for an answer…but found none. Then, I began to think about what they had said…
…on a personal note, when I think about things, I think about things…
Then, I started to question my own faith:
“What if they’re right?”
…I am ashamed at my lack of faith. I know that Scripture states to disbelieve any heresy, and I’m not saying that I believe what my friend said, but she placed a doubt in my heart, and like a foolish sinner, I let that affect my relationship with God.
These past few weeks have been brutal. I have had terrible anxiety, fear, and doubt. Each time I ask God for strength, a thought pops into my head: “What if there isn’t anyone listening?” I hate sin, and I’m afraid that, through this doubt, I’m sinning, and won’t be saved. I want so badly to “get back to” the relationship I shared with God and Jesus before I allowed some silly words to affect me. I feel alone.
I’m asking for help. I need a relationship with God, or I’ll be destroyed by sin, but this doubt is like a wall that is keeping me from re-attaining the harmony that I felt with God prior to this incident at Dunkin’ Donuts, I want to feel 1000% that God exists, as I felt before.
I’m not going to give up this battle…but I need reinforcements…I want to cast out my doubts while helping others cast out their own fears and skepticism and turn to God.
Any help is greatly appreciated, and feel free to privately message me if you’re more comfortable with that.
To everyone who took the time to read this:
THANK YOU
God bless!
-Ryan
Initially, this will sound like a “get to know me” thread; however, it is not. I think that by telling y’all a bit about myself and my past, you’ll know how to help me…
My name is Ryan, I’m 18, and I’ve been Catholic my whole life. I have received the Sacraments of Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist, and Confirmation…
…despite being Catholic for 18 years, I didn’t begin to actually comprehend, understand, or “follow” my religion until about a year and three months ago…
…after spending grades K-8 in Catholic school, my mother decided to pull me out of the private school system and enroll me in a public school. While attending public school, I slowly began to lose sight of God. I became consumed with sins of the flesh, and cared more about my public image than my relationship with God. Blinded by sin, and falling to temptation, I fell off God’s path…
…then, about a year and three months ago, “things changed”. Long story short, I had a burning desire to “ditch sin” and seek out God and happiness with Him. Without a doubt, this was the best “thing” that has ever happened to me, and despite all my sins, I formed a healthy, loving relationship with God and Jesus.
Since then, I have studied Catholicism and religion much more seriously, and have built a solid understanding of what it means to be Catholic.
Then, an incident took place about two weeks ago…
…I was sitting at Dunkin’ Donuts with two of my friends, talking about God. They were asking me questions about the legitimacy of the Bible and telling me about their doubts. To the best of my ability, I answered their questions…then one friend said this:
“How do we know the Bible is true? I mean, how could the apostles have written down, word for word, all that Jesus had said? What if there is no God, and the Bible is simply a farce?”
Dumbstruck, I fumbled for an answer…but found none. Then, I began to think about what they had said…
…on a personal note, when I think about things, I think about things…
Then, I started to question my own faith:
“What if they’re right?”
…I am ashamed at my lack of faith. I know that Scripture states to disbelieve any heresy, and I’m not saying that I believe what my friend said, but she placed a doubt in my heart, and like a foolish sinner, I let that affect my relationship with God.
These past few weeks have been brutal. I have had terrible anxiety, fear, and doubt. Each time I ask God for strength, a thought pops into my head: “What if there isn’t anyone listening?” I hate sin, and I’m afraid that, through this doubt, I’m sinning, and won’t be saved. I want so badly to “get back to” the relationship I shared with God and Jesus before I allowed some silly words to affect me. I feel alone.
I’m asking for help. I need a relationship with God, or I’ll be destroyed by sin, but this doubt is like a wall that is keeping me from re-attaining the harmony that I felt with God prior to this incident at Dunkin’ Donuts, I want to feel 1000% that God exists, as I felt before.
I’m not going to give up this battle…but I need reinforcements…I want to cast out my doubts while helping others cast out their own fears and skepticism and turn to God.
Any help is greatly appreciated, and feel free to privately message me if you’re more comfortable with that.
To everyone who took the time to read this:
THANK YOU
God bless!
-Ryan