Fed up with irreverence

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eelpis

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I attend daily mass (NO), although I prefer the EF that I attend on Sundays. I have come to a crossroads. I know that the OF is valid and that it can indeed be celebrated reverently, but somehow I cannot stomach the irreverence showed by some priests in the NO. It’s almost as if some priests make a political statement of being irreverent. I’m fed up with priests shaking hand with the whole congregation at the sign of peace. I’m fed up with EM at almost all masses. I long for the EF. I don’t know where to turn so I turn to Our Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, O Lord, is this the worship we , your holy Church should give to you? You, who have loved us so much that you died on the cross for our redemption. Is this the way we should conduct ourselves in your most holy presence? Frankly I’m not into parish shopping, but I’m looking for a parish that exclusively celebrates the EF.

Could you give me some advice?
Would it be bad for me to give up daily mass?
Could this be the Lord testing my humility?
 
eelpis said:
I cannot stomach the irreverence showed by some priests in the NO. It’s almost as if some priests make a political statement of being irreverent. I’m fed up with priests shaking hand with the whole congregation at the sign of peace. I’m fed up with EM at almost all masses.

Could you give me some advice?
Would it be bad for me to give up daily mass?
Could this be the Lord testing my humility?
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It could be a test of humility. It could also be a case of looking for the bad instead of the good. It sounds like you are “measuring” your daily OF against your Sunday EF.

If you already have a clear preference for the EF, the daily OF really doesn’t have a snowball’s chance, does it?
 
At one point in my life, I would get very upset with people who did not meet my standard of behavior. It left me in a very unsettled state of mind and detracted from any sense of peace brought about by my relationship with our Lord. A friend pointed out me that the behavior and standards of others, short of total depravity, were really not my responsibility. I was able to let go of “everyone should…” I learned to understand that my responsibility in many cases was only to my own behavior. Doing so actually increased my devotion and ability to pray and brought a lot of peace…
 
The mass in my parish is the Novus Ordo. The priest does not shake hands with the congregation at the kiss of peace. The priest is not to leave the sanctuary during the mass.
Prayers & blessings
Deacon Ed B
 
eelpis said:
I attend daily mass (NO), although I prefer the EF that I attend on Sundays. I have come to a crossroads.
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Hi I can sympathize with this experience. I’m referring to being at a crossroad. I have never been in this situation, but during my life I have been at other crossroads, some more difficult than others.
I know that the OF is valid and that it can indeed be celebrated reverently, but somehow I cannot stomach the irreverence showed by some priests in the NO. It’s almost as if some priests make a political statement of being irreverent. I’m fed up with priests shaking hand with the whole congregation at the sign of peace. I’m fed up with EM at almost all masses.
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Sometimes we have to ask ourselves if we’re focusing on the right things or even if we’re allowing ourselves to be distracted. In the spiritual journey the ultimate goal is union with the Divine. We know that this is possible. We have seen it achieved by such people as St. Francis, St. Catherine of Siena, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Bl. Mother Teresa and others.
Sometimes, instead of praying that the distraction goes away we have to pray that we will progress along the spiritual path to a point where we can focus on the Lord. Struggles with distractions during prayer is often part of the spiritual journey, regardless of whether you are at an OP or EF liturgy.

Here is something from Mother Teresa’s journal that may help you.

“Be kind to each other. I prefer you make mistakes in kindness—than that you work miracles in unkindness. So much suffering—so much misunderstanding, for what?”

I believe that you should continue before the Blessed Sacrament. You may want to ask Jesus to let you love as he loves, especially those people that are distracting you or are making mistakes. Sometimes we have to speak to God, not about the sins of others, but about the love that is in our heart.

I hope this helps.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
ethelzguy said:
If you already have a clear preference for the EF, the daily OF really doesn’t have a snowball’s chance, does it?
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This is a very good point. If you are used to the EF the OF just won’t compare in your mind (and the opposite for those who prefer the OF, of course).

And no matter what the rite or form of Mass typically a daily Mass doesn’t compare to a Sunday Mass.

But abuses are abuses. And if this is what you are encountering then you have a decision to make. Is it more spiritually beneficial for you to attend an irreverent and abusive Mass or not attend daily Mass at all?

Given that the Church says that Liturgical abuses can actually be harmful to those who experience them I personally won’t attend an irreverent and abusive Mass if at all possible.

One suggestion:
I don’t know what your situation is but you may want to look at downtown rather than suburban parishes when it comes to daily Mass.

At least around here the downtown parishes are the ones that were never wreckovated and tend to offer a more reverent Liturgy than the typical suburban Mass.

In my experience these Masses are more likely to be around noon than early in the morning. This just happens to work out well for me.

James
 
This is just a suggestion. I am not trying to suggest that priests just throw out the rulebook and make the Mass up as they go along. And I admit that I could be totally wrong in my assessment, since I’m not there and you are.

But in light of the quote from Mother Teresa, above–

After Mass (in the parking lot or lobby), shake hands with and greet warmly the people that the priest is leaving his sanctuary to shake hands with.

Maybe there’s a good reason why the priest is willing to disregard the rubrics and leave the sanctuary to go shake hands with these people. Maybe he knows that they desperately need the touch and loving greeting of a fellow human being. They may LOOK lively and jolly to you, but maybe the priest knows somthing that you don’t know. Perhaps inside these folks are dying of loneliness, and the priest is just trying to do something to help them.

Of course he could wait until after Mass, but maybe he is greeting them during Mass because if he didn’t, no one else would.

So YOU be that human being who touches them and greets them with love and strikes up a friendship with them (after Mass). Or sit up close and greet them during the Sign of Peace.

Yes, I realize that the Holy Mass is not all about “fellowshipping.” But maybe when you’re old and all your friends are gone, or young and confused in this
world, perhaps newly divorced and hurting, or struggling against an addiction that is destroying your life, you’ll understand why these people come to Mass (incorrectly if you wish) for additional reasons than to receive Eucharist. If they are not as far along in their spiritual walk as you are, maybe they don’t understand that Jesus will fulfil all their longings. But remember, even Jesus wanted His disciples with Him during His agony in the garden.

Like I said, I may have it all wrong. But if God is Love, and Jesus is God, wouldn’t LOVE be the best way to handle your situation with the Mass?

Maybe if you do this, maybe the priest will not have to do this friendship work anymore and maybe then he can remain in the sanctuary, confident that no one in his congregation is lonely or untouched by others.
 
ethelzguy said:
It could be a test of humility. It could also be a case of looking for the bad instead of the good. It sounds like you are “measuring” your daily OF against your Sunday EF.

If you already have a clear preference for the EF, the daily OF really doesn’t have a snowball’s chance, does it?
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It could also be his seeking an objectively superior liturgy, no?

I go to an EF only parish and I have not regretted it one bit, personally.
 
After Mass (in the parking lot or lobby), shake hands with and greet warmly the people that the priest is leaving his sanctuary to shake hands with.
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The OP said “whole congregation”. While this may have been an exaggeration, it seems to imply that the priest did not pick out specific people to shake hands with.
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Cat:
Like I said, I may have it all wrong. But if God is Love, and Jesus is God, wouldn’t LOVE be the best way to handle your situation with the Mass?
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Oh I’m not sure that you have it all wrong. Everyone has a duty to show charity to others. However, I don’t think that the OP needs to play guessing games about why the priest shakes hands with people. Mass is a time for prayer and worship, and in expressing his hope that the rubrics be followed, the OP demonstrates an admirable love for the liturgy.
 
You are now where I was a few months ago. I posted about it too:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=224722

I still have many issues with this, and it often interferes with my faith. All I can do is try and ignore what I have to ignore, focus purely on Christ, increase my devotion to the Eucharist and our Blessed Mother, and pray.

I’ll pray for you, and for our Church.
 
ethelzguy said:
Sounds like a pro-SSPX attitude to me.
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What, you say that because he prefers on liturgy over another? Is that really necessary? It doesn’t seem to do any good to make a one-line post specifically to label someone.
 
I know a priest who told me once;

“I could walk into a bakery with a bottle of wine and start consecrating, but is it reverent?”

and:

“I don’t know if Christ is present on the altar when abuses abound and the priest deviates from the canon, but for Christ’s sake, I hope He is not present.”

My mom attends the NO every morning and goes to adore God. At the same time, she lets the priests know privately about any abuses committed and heresies preached. And before this gets out of hand, no, my mom has no particular desire for the TLM and yes, (along with the abuses witnessed) she has actually heard heresies preached by the priests and she’s darn quick about correcting them. She told me all of this yesterday (though she’s been doing the same for most of my life). You OF people around here, never fear, she’s plenty frank about what she thinks of my position too, so it’s not just renegade “Fathers” she’s after, but also ‘renegade’ sons. God bless her!
 
PrayforMallory said:
It could also be his seeking an objectively superior liturgy, no?
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No. No valid form of the Mass is superior, objectively or subjectively to any other. No other rite of Mass or Divine Liturgy from our Eastern brothers and sisters is superior OR inferior to any other. Any form of the Mass/Divine Liturgy may or may not be done according to it’s rubrics, but that in no way reflects on the quality of the liturgy, it reflects on the quality of those performing the liturgy.
 
ethelzguy said:
Sounds like a pro-SSPX attitude to me.
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Oh come on, as an FSSP person I used to feel the same. Just because one prefers the TLM doesn’t mean they’re SSPX. I have also known a lot of anti-SSPX FSSP-goers.
 
CassiusLonginus said:
Oh come on, as an FSSP person I used to feel the same. Just because one prefers the TLM doesn’t mean they’re SSPX. I have also known a lot of anti-SSPX FSSP-goers.
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I am reading that particular post in context with other posts from that individual…:cool:
 
JReducation said:
Here is something from Mother Teresa’s journal that may help you.

“Be kind to each other. I prefer you make mistakes in kindness—than that you work miracles in unkindness. So much suffering—so much misunderstanding, for what?”
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Thank you JR for this quote from Mother Teresa. It cuts right to the heart of the matter.
 
All of these letters sound like alphabet soup: SSPX, FSSP, OP, OF, EF, NO, TLM, I’m sure I missed a few more.

The point is, we have been called to holiness. Even if the celebration of the liturgy has variables that should not be there, the gravity of the offense is important.

Leaving the sanctuary to offer the sign of peace to the congregation is not allowed. Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion may not be needed when the number of communicants is small, but these two details in particular are not grave offenses.

To make progress in the spiritual life we must learn to keep our focus on Jesus. The liturgy, in any form, is the summit of our contemplative life.

When there are such distractions we must pray that God will give us the grace to detach from distractions. Every saint has experienced distractions in prayer, at mass, during the Liturgy of the Hours, during silent prayer, the rosary and more. What makes them different from many of us is there focus.

They focus on detaching from the distractions. Deacon Ed. can speak to this better than I can, as he belongs to the Benedictine family. But Benedict found it more important to discipline the inner self first, then the world around us.

This is not a license for people to break with the rubrics. This is a path around such situations. Detach from the things that distract us. When we can’t detach, because we should never stop going to mass, then we must pray for internal silence.

Fraternally,

JR 🙂
 
Their are so many Informative answers here, two pages worth. So you may look over my 2 cents.

I think that you should either stop going if it continues to strike such uneasy feelings in you or Perhaps you should continue to go for the sake of Our Lord upon the cross crucified. Go and offer these pains in your heart, and the discomfort or even the tears that it brings up unto God for his crucified son for that your sufferage may relieve his most holy son of his cross for even a micro of a second.

It is so easy to get upset when we see so many abuses in the church, but do not let your heart go astray. Trust in God for his will is Divine and is most holy. You must trust in his will even if it means that you will suffer in the process. So i ask you, please do not get upset. Offer up your sufferage for Our Lord upon the cross. Pray the Divine Office for the Priest and the Holy Orders.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to offer this sufferage back to Our Lord, he has put you in that place for a reason. Trust in God and do not feel weary, you can always find comfort in the loving arms of the Virgin Mary.
 
If you must be in an environment with distractions, then it may be a good idea to seek detachment from them. Otherwise, a more prudent course may be to choose an environment without such distractions. Looking for a parish with the Gregorian Rite seems like a great idea.
 
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