Feel bad because my friend got hurt

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Saturday night my guy friend and his cousin decided to go out to this club nearby our area… there’s a couple other bars all right by eachother, so we figure if one is not fun we go to another.

First, we went to this little local bar that has a small dance floor but there was nothing fun going on so we left and went to the other club that is more popular. It was fine at first, but later on it was just getting annoying so I told my friends I was just going to go to this local bar across the street by myself. I kept telling them to just stay it’s not a big deal, i was planning on probably coming back but I just wanted to get out by myself for a little bit bc I wanetd to switch up the atmosphere a little i guess. Anyway, they ended up just following me and came into where I wanted to go. We were having fun in there, until near the end of the night (note: there was a bar fight that they had announced but I did not see it). We ignored it. My friend and his cousin were on the dance floor , but I was just standing watching people dance. I was not looking at them, but all of a sudden I see his cousin holding my friend by the arm and the bouncers talking to him. I was confused, so right when I look at my friend I see a huge black eye. Some random guy just punched him for apparently no reason at all. Anyway, we left and we were all in shock this happened. I was telling him I felt bad because it was my choice to go there. I went to a 24-hour supermarket and got some things to help his eye.

I called him the next day and kept checking up to see how he was doing. I never realized it until today, but he was trying to actually make me feel worse about the whole incident. For example, he texted me a picture of his eye and said “ouch”… I responded with just telling him to use the witch hazel and patches… but he didn’t respond. I told him i felt horrible, and he said “it’s okay”…Later on at night, he tells me the doctor says he might need plastic surgery in the future if it does not go back to normal (but I realize now that I think he said this on purpose, bc honestly his eye was not that bad, i don’t see how any doctor would say he would need plastic surgery). He kept saying things to make me feel bad i feel like.

I didn’t think anything of it, but today I asked if he went to work and he said “no”. I called him and wanted to see why, and he told it’s “none of your damn busienss”. I said, “ok, i’m just asking”… and than he said " i don’t want to ralk to you right now" in a mean voice. and i said “why” , but he didn’t say so I just said “ok” and hung up. A minute later, he texts me a pic of inside his eye and it’s all red and he says “thank you” I started crying because i do feel bad when i saw that, but also because of the fact that he was trying to make me feel bad, when it was not my fault.

What do you all think about this situation? Does anyone think I did anything wrong?
 
Your friend is not your friend.
A person who is immature enough to blame and punish another person for injuries received through no act of yours, after having made their own choices is immature and self-centered, and in this case, the person’s attitude and behavior is nasty.
You offered your assistance, and your concern and were rudely rebuffed.
I don’t think this is a good person to hang out with.

It is not a good idea to blame yourself very vocally over such an incident. (I might have done the same! 🙂
However, even if you feel guilty for some consequences of your own decision,
for the benefit of others’ taking responsibility for their own choice’s one should moderate any apology in such a case.

Who knows what he said or did to provoke the attack, and given how he has spoken to you and treated you it is possible he acted in a way to draw the attack on himself.

His anger is misdirected and his behavior is bullying.

You have uncovered the true nature of your ‘friend’ and hopefully can escape this person with no further issues.

I hope that you find good friendships.
 
Your friend is not your friend.
A person who is immature enough to blame and punish another person for injuries received through no act of yours, after having made their own choices is immature and self-centered, and in this case, the person’s attitude and behavior is nasty.
I don’t think this is a good person to hang out with.
Yea. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but right when it happened I said sorry, and he didn’t assure me that it was not my fault at all. This is why I felt bad, and kept trying to help him by offering some remedies to help with his injury. But, I realize now that he didn’t appreciate it at all
 
I agree with Trishie. A friend does not treat another friend that way. Especially when you are going out of your way to make sure he’s ok. While you chose to go there, they chose to follow you. They are responsible for their presence in that club, not you.
 
Listen, its not your fault that he got punched in the eye. You didn’t have anything to do with it so don’t feel guilty. Your “friend” is milking it for sympathy and frankly, he is not acting as if he is your friend at all. Forget about it(and him)
 
You are not your brothers keeper. You are all adults with and capable of making your own choices. I think your only problem was thinking that he was a friend. Maybe this was a good thing to happen as you know how hurtful and shallow he is. Actually he needs prayers to overcome his problems. But I would find new friends. 😉
 
He made his own decisions. This is in no way your fault or under your responsibility. None at all. It doesn’t matter that you went into the bar of your choice and he followed. It doesn’t matter at all.

Next time, realize who is responsible and dont act guilty when you’re not even though you feel you are. I know where you are coming from. He is responsible for himself, and the guy that him is responsible for his own actions. Whether they take it or not is a different question. But that doesn’t mean you need to pick it up.

You can be sorry, and help but you didn’t need to accept any responsibility. Unless you attempted to sell him on the idea and really tried to prove that he would not get hurt. Then I could see SOME responsibility transferring to you but not much. Nothing like what he is doing. He is being a big baby.
 
A man is not a man until he has had his first black eye. Congradulate him.
 
Thank you everyone! I truly appreciate all your responses and I feel much better because of them!!! I know deep down I didn’t do anything wrong. But, it hurts to know that he tried to make me feel bad. Even though I don’t think he is a bad person, I think his actions toward me were so cruel. And, it makes me sick to my stomach that someone could make another person feel bad about something they didn’t even do. I am happy though with the way I acted through everything, and I thank God. God bless you all 🙂
 
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