Feeling empty with my faith

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Chabambou

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Hi all, I was wondering if someone can help discuss this with me.
I’m by no means a perfect practicing catholic, though I do practice. Admittedly I have been struggling for years being in mortal sin on and off on a frequent basis. I understand the remedy is to confess your sins as often as possible. After all no ones perfect. Other than that I was firm in my belief in Christ. In fact I was so pious and assured that I even try and defend the Faith when it is challenged around me.
The problem began when I was finishing the book 1984 by George Orwell. I understand it’s just a work of fiction, but I can’t help shake of the feeling that something struck a cord with similarities between the Church and Big Brother.
I’m not jumping the gun and denouncing my faith over a work of fiction. But it has put a challenge on me. Ever since then I have been feeling empty. I’ve been praying the rosary even though in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “isn’t this like brainwashing to keep control of you?”.
I’m really confused. I believe in the Faith and yet at the same time I am feeling very skeptical about everything, as if the Church (and religions in general) acts like Big Brother.

Is all of this a test from God or have I done this to myself? It’s like the very next day I woke up a different man.
 
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It’s normal. It’s good to question things, even the Church. It will lead you to a deeper understanding of things. Without asking questions you won’t gain a very good understanding of much of anything. Acceptance may be fine for some people, but other people like to use the intellect God gave them in order to understand complex concepts.

To your specific question I would say that the Big Brother idea takes it too far. The Church is trying to guide our lives so that we end up in heaven, but don’t forget that the Church also teaches that we have free will and that it should not be manipulated. The Church also teaches that “conscience” is a rule, and that a well formed conscience should be used to guide each individual’s journey, which is mysterious and not easily understood.

So, I would say don’t worry too much about your questions. Keep asking them, and remember that the answers you get may not be satisfactory to you, or easily understood, or just not very well articulated, or even just flat out wrong. Good Luck! 😀
 
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“I came to give you life, and life more abundantly.” Words from the Lord. The church tries to give structure and form to this promise of Christ. Not everything man (the Church) is going to hit the mark for everyone.
Suggestion: break it down to the simple. Mass, the sacraments, the spiritual and temporal works of mercy. As to the devotions, pick and choose what floats your boat. Actually, I know of no human institution that tries more to give life and hope to the individual than the RCC.
Shalom
 
Chabambou said:
I’m really confused. I believe in the Faith and yet at the same time I am feeling very skeptical about everything, as if the Church (and religions in general) acts like Big Brother.
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Focus on Jesus Christ first and foremost. I have reservations about the Church too. Better to not let it interfere with that relationship, would be my advice.
 
Chabambou said:
s all of this a test from God or have I done this to myself? It’s like the very next day I woke up a different man.
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Are these mutually exclusive? Do you not think that God uses our tendency to wander from the flock as a test of faith?

Balance your reading by something devotional like Hind’s Feet on High Places.
 
I would stay away from garbage literature and media and read about the saints and their writings.
 
What exactly does the Church stand to gain by people saying the rosary?
 
More holy people closer to hopefully their destiny of the beatific vision.
 
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Big Brother imposes himself upon you.

We willingly submit, out of love of God, to Him.

The Church reveals truth and defines minimums.

Your love and devotion may exceed that by an unlimited amount.
 
Thanks to those who’ve replied so far.

@1Lord1Faith thanks for your post ❤️ it took a good portion off my shoulders.

@OsculeturMeOsculo I wouldn’t say the rosary would directly brainwash me. But something along the thoughts of being told to keep praying to stay in line. Like a person telling his friend to keep taking his medicine and he’ll be fine. I could extend it to the theology on suffering. Without the supernatural aspect it seems like a way to dupe the person to bare his pain. Though I don’t really believe that’s the case in reality (i believe in the supernatural), but its just that lingering question that’s just bugging me.

@po18guy I agree and believe what you said. Today I was writing things down for myself. I was coming to the conclusion that in this world it’s only the Church who defends the truth because authentic freedom is grounded in truth. It just seems like I somehow forgot overnight that it requires the will to believe in these things, unlike Big Brother.

@0Scarlett_nidiyilii haha true. Hardly the stuff of dystopia.

@LittleFlower378 currently I’m reading the confessions of saint Augustine. I’ve read other devotionals before.

@joeybaggz makes complete sense. Thanks 👍🙏
 
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I’m not sure where all the “stay in line” thought is coming from. Maybe about 10 percent of what the Church asks us to do is debatable, but the other 90 percent, the vast majority, are just common sense principles for living a good life. Loving God, loving your neighbor, not killing or stealing or cheating on your spouse, going to church once a week, etc. It’s stuff that with a little effort, any normal person should be able to do just fine.
 
Remember that in 1984 religion is prohibited (except for the plebs who are allowed some elements of it). I see your problem, I guess you are associating things like mysteries with doublethink. The only think you have to ask is…

Who benefits?

In 1984 the people in power gain clear benefit from their lies and doublethink. Do the priests and bishops in many minority-Catholic countries gain much from their position? Did the Apostoles gain anything from their? Did saints and contemporary people who gave up wealth and comfort to do things like join a monastic order? Yes in the past a lot of high Church positions were connected to power, but not anymore and even there the power was hardly close to anything in 1984.

Also, see the significant differences

Does the Church profoundly antagonize anybody? To put it bluntly, who are we at war with right now? Satan, sin and ourselves? Hmm, hardly a change in doctrine and hardly a profitable enemy to stirr hatred against. Does the Church prohibit marriage? Does she encourage children to turn against their parents and denounce them? Do we have monitors all around that record your every action? Do we want to have that? Are we campaigning for that extreme level of absolute power that no group ever held?
Lastly the Church is not there to tell you how to think, she presents a set of doctrines and you join her if you agree. Wanna know the worst the Church can physically do to you if you disagree? Nothing. Exactly nothing.

See the context

Orwell wrote against Communism, aka one of the self declared haters of the Church. Also whilst the novel makes good points and is fun to read I’d argue it does not accurately present life in Communist states or the motivators of those who made them. Like it or not there was hardly any doublethink involved in those states. There was fact twisting but that is about as close as it gets. Yes history was edited too. That and the monitoring and demonization are some of the most relatable things. These three essential elements really don’t fit. Simply put, 1984 is not infallible.

Last note on mysteries such as the Trinity

The Theory Relativity and Schrodinger’s cat would sound like pure manipulation and doublethink in an Orwellian world. Why aren’t sorta metaphysical mysteries allowed then?

And last note, we’ve never come close as a community to constructing something similar to 1984.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.

🙂
 
You mention that you are in and out of “mortal sin”. Who told you that? Is that one way the Church controls you? With guilt? Is it because you missed Mass on Sunday? Something we are required to participate in that also requires clergy.

I suppose any guidance can be viewed as control to the person guided. “Do this, Don’t do that.” But I have always felt a freedom to question and to explore and to sometimes interpret thing sin a way that makes sense to me.

I think though that your sense of emptiness doesn’t have anything to do with all that. Rather, it has to do with your intimacy with God or lack of it. It can wax and warn as we journey through life. I have found that committing to a study of a Gospel and dialogue with Jesus in a journal helps.
 
@Ioana thanks that was great explanation! You hit the nail on the head. It was the question of what would the church gain, let alone the apostles if they were to lie. That’s one of the questions I was trying to get my mind around, but for some odd reason couldn’t remember or express it.

@Shakuhachi yeah it seems to be the struggle with guilt. I understand feeling the guilt is a necessary step to be contrite. I haven’t thought about it till now but I’m beginning to think that’s why I’m comparing the Church with Big Brother. Like the idea of ‘you are pathetic and you need us’. This comparison would be true if there was no supernatural validation like the resurrection. But since Christ did rise from the dead, I’m confident in his words and his Church. It’s just I didn’t expect this spiritual dry spell to hit hard that made me question what I was so sure about.
 
Garbage? 1984 is a great work of literature. Nothing anti-religion in it, I believe Orwell may have been a somewhat devout Anglican, it can be read as pro-religion if you really want to. If you have never read it, I’d recommend it. It is anti-Communist in origin. 🙂
 
If our lived experience does not validate what we have been taught it seems to leave us high and dry. That is why I start from Square One when I feel empty. Square One is Just God and I. Period! Without that encounter, that relationship, that experience, everything else is empty talk.
 
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