Feeling Like Converting

  • Thread starter Thread starter TNMan
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Actually, TNMan, it seems to me that the people going through RCIA and joining are of several types.

First, you have the person who married a nice Catholic spouse four years ago, or forty-four years ago, and been attending Mass right along with the spouse, and decides that they should finally join and be able to receive communion with the congregation.

Then you have the people like me, who show up at the church and announce that they want to join. “So, what do I have to do?” Knowledgeable Christians but ignorant of Catholic ways.

And finally you have those, usually younger, who have heard of Christianity and Jesus Christ last Thursday. Need to be tutored in scripture and everything else that we have picked up over a lifetime of attending church.

But there just aren’t enough people to break them up into three classes, so we end up sitting through the class for the newbie Christians. If you talk to the priest directly, you might be able to bypass some or all of the RCIA class.
 
Last edited:
Shasta-Rose said:
But there just aren’t enough people to break them up into three classes, so we end up sitting through the class for the newbie Christians. If you talk to the priest directly, you might be able to bypass some or all of the RCIA class.
Click to expand...
This is a great point. I’ve taught RCIA for many years. Most of the time there simply isn’t the needed resources (time and clergy) to address the different types of sub-groups within the class.

On rare exception I have prepared someone privately. (And mostly to free the others from a Sheldon Cooper in their midst).

One thing I do to help with this is have an in-depth interview with the candidate or catechumen, and tailor that year’s program accordingly. Sometimes there are lots of technically Catholics who are uncatechized. Sometimes there are only Lutherans and Methodists. Sometimes a Jew or Mormon.

Food for thought - even though we tend to think about the class aspect; RCIA is a multi-faceted journey to the person of Jesus. By going through the full experience rather than a private preparation you may become better formed by the common prayer activities. Or the ritual stages (anointing, exorcism election, etc.). Or something you add to a discussion of a topic you know well, might assist someone else who is struggling.

Private preparation, while faster, cannot replicate the value of group dynamics.

As far as spouse issues, I would suggest gentle treatment, and not attempting to convince someone in an academic way. Let your growing holiness be the main teaching. Live like a Catholic; to be honest, your spouse has probably already sensed changes in you by your interest in the faith.

I will pray for both you and your spouse,
Deacon Christopher
 
I think she’d feel like I was going behind her back if I went to a priest first. I want to be up front about this so she doesn’t feel blindsided.

I guess I should clarify something. She’s not so much “anti-Catholic” as she is anti a few things. The Blessed Virgin, Papal Supremacy are her two things. She loves mass. I feel like we can start there and let the Spirit work.
 
Thank you all for the responses. I’m not trying to bypass anything, but I had seen that non-catechumens can be accepted at different times so was just curious.
 
I found the book, The Catholic Mystique, a book of women’s conversion stories, to be very helpful.
 
Congratulations! I know it is difficult but you prayed. Now trust the Holy Spirit and just do it. He will help. Tell your wife we need to have a serious talk.
May God bless you!
 
TNMan said:
I think she’d feel like I was going behind her back if I went to a priest first.
Click to expand...
Actually, it helped me make the jump.

I mentioned in another thread we have a particular ecumenical context here where the bishop allows priests to hear confessions of (and give absolution to) non-Catholic Christians.

Well, I confessed about letting that untold desire for conversion becoming a growing gap between me and my husband, a gap that I felt was more and more drawing us apart.
My priest friend looked at me and said : “Seriously, OddBird. There’s only one way out of this and you know full well what it is. Do something about it before it is too late.”

I told him the next day.
 
@HopkinsReb I know you are in the same boat. I think you may all be able to support each other.
 
TNMan said:
My issue, and I’m sure someone here has had this same issue, my wife is against joining. I haven’t laid all this out to her yet (I know I should go to her before asking strangers on the Internet) but I don’t know how to seriously begin to broach the subject. I’ve prayed for God’s guidance but it still hasn’t been made clear to me. She’s not necessarily anti-catholic, but we have a 6-month old daughter which throws another issue in there.

Any ideas on how to approach her with this? Also, please move his thread if it’s not in the right category. Thank you.
Click to expand...
I’m in the exact same boat – I’ve decided to convert, but man am I dreading informing my wife, who grew up Presbyterian and is not particularly friendly to Catholic beliefs.
 
Have you spoken to a priest? I haven’t reached out yet, but know RCIA is starting soon. Have you tried hinting at it to your wife?
 
TNMan said:
Have you spoken to a priest? I haven’t reached out yet, but know RCIA is starting soon. Have you tried hinting at it to your wife?
Click to expand...
I’ve been talking a bit about the various ways in which I’ve been convinced of various points of Catholic theology, but it really stresses her out and always ends in her getting stressed out and leaving the conversation.
 
Good book

https://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0879733152

Do you have a subscription to Formed.org? It is a great way to begin to share what you are studying with your wife, she can watch things or read things on her own, you can watch “Symbalon” together.

On Amazon Prime is a good video called “Common Ground” that may help.

Best thing, be loving, kind and invite her to share your journey as far as she is comfortable. Let her see that becoming Catholic will make a better man, husband and father.
 
Yeah, mine gets kind of the same way. I’ll suggest let’s go to mass and she’ll say “no, because we’ll get sucked in.” I haven’t had the courage to say back, well I’ve got news for you!
 
That’s fair enough, it was just a suggestion cos some of the things she may have questions about could be explained before upsetting her about the rules etc. But yes I can see that she may feel that way. The mass is a great place to start and yes the Spirit will guide you. All the other things can come with time. For you though, the desire to convert, is the Spirit’s nudge. God bless you both.
 
MiserereMei said:
Now I’m here, trying to clean up the mess I’ve made of my faith, retracing old steps, relearning old lessons I should have already learned. Biggest regret of my life so far! I am yet too afraid to talk openly with my wife about it yet, myself.
Click to expand...
That word “regret” came up on a CAF thread somewhere in the last week. The way I remember it is that the antidote for regret is forgiveness.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top