Feeling oppressed in catholic faith

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IMO, right now, you are a slave to your passions. Offering yourself completely - 100% - to God, is liberating, freeing. The worst prison of all is that which we construct around ourselves.

Aside from counseling (troubled childhood?), anyway, the purpose of marriage and our fertility is revealed in the wonderful Old Testament Book of Tobit.
Tobit 8:4-9
Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God to day, and to morrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them, And Tobias said: Lord God of our fathers, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all thy creatures that are in them, bless thee. Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper. And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my [sister] to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name may be blessed for ever and ever.
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“Sister” in this context means a young woman of Tobias’ same tribe of the twelve tribes of Israel.
 
How old are you? You sound like you are younger (< 30) so maybe wanting kids will come with age. I am a guy and want kids so I guess we are complete opposites in that sense. But I do, as you, struggle with two common sexual sins and the yearning to be a husband. But what we must understand, or at least how I understand, is that all love is ordered towards. This includes our sexual love (or eros). So when you are feeling those urges realize those urges are ordered towards God. As physical beings God has created a way for us to bring about that love in the physical world and that is through the sexual act in marriage. So when you get those urges, remember that it is ordered towards God so lay yourself bare to him. That has helped me in the past but I am also pathetic weakling when it comes to those sins but at least it keeps me from ever trying to justify the evil that I am doing.

As a side note, and someone please correct me if I am wrong, you may want to talk to your therapist/counselor about those sexual desires. I am not a psychology or health expert but I believe women are not supposed to struggle with those types of sins and so maybe there could be some underlying causes to those desires. I am not a woman so I honestly don’t know but maybe that is something you could explore with your therapist.
 
Women struggle with sexual desire and sexual sin too. Some men (not all men) just don’t like to think we do. Being a female with sexual desire in and of itself doesn’t necessitate a trip to a therapist any more than it would for a male.
 
Nik said:
Women struggle with sexual desire and sexual sin too. Some men (not all men) just don’t like to think we do. Being a female with sexual desire in and of itself doesn’t necessitate a trip to a therapist any more than it would for a male.
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It’s not simply a struggle with sexual desires. It’s the whole package the OP has presented. I’m a woman and I also think she needs help from a therapist. And it seems she is already seeing a psychologist.
 
It was more a reply to @Riman643 saying that it’s not normal for women to struggle with sexual desire or sin. For some reason none of my replies seem to actually show as replies to previous posters comments any more…
 
Ah, gotcha. I didn’t see that remark. I agree, it’s totally a struggle for both sexes.
 
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Riman643 said:
I am not a psychology or health expert but I believe women are not supposed to struggle with those types of sins and so maybe there could be some underlying causes to those desires.
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You really don’t think women struggle with sexual sins? You know women have libido and sexual desires too, right? I’m kind of baffled as to why you’d think women don’t also have to deal with these issues
 
1ke said:
Don’t you think your spouse would have something to say about that? Like, “no”.
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I mean, presumably (and I’m not endorsing this) OP would only marry a man who also didn’t want kids. Of course, most men who don’t want children are just going to want to use contraception, not have their wives deliver the baby and give it up for adoption.
 
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