feeling unworthy

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Monica4316

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Hi

I know people say so often that they don’t feel worthy to be called to a religious vocation. But I’m afraid that in my case it might be so and I’m confused about all my feelings. I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts or went through something similar…

I’m a convert to the Catholic faith. I’m in my early 20s. I haven’t always been a Christian and have lived a pretty sinful life before I converted. But also I’ve lived a very worldly life. I feel like I have so many attachments… I have some friends who are discerning religious life, and I always feel that I’m not like them… they come from such strong Catholic families, they grew up in the faith and probably haven’t done half the things I’ve done - I don’t know.

I feel like who I am on the outside and on the inside is so different. On the outside, I’m just a regular university student, and I hang out with my friends and talk a lot and laugh loudly and sometimes carry a fashionable bag or wear some makeup. My friends who are discerning are so different and so much more like Mary. I want to be more like them and don’t know how. On the inside though, I’m a really shy/quiet person and I hate sin and I want to be pure/gentle/humble like Our Lady. I feel drawn to holiness and to serving people and the poor. I have a spiritual director and I’d say he’s helped me a lot, and I try to be really open and honest, but when I’m there and talk to him I again feel so unworthy and not like all the other people he’s directing. I don’t know how to deal with this 😦 a (non Catholic) friend told me that she doesn’t really see me as a nun, - but what she doesn’t know is that deep inside I feel so drawn to that… I do have a natural desire for marriage, and sometimes seriously wonder about that too, and there has been a guy that I liked. But at the end of the day when I go to Adoration or receive the Eucharist, or sometimes when I’m thinking about God, I just want to give my whole life to Jesus and keep nothing for myself, I want to live for Him fully whatever that means. And at those moments, marriage seems like it’s for someone else, not for me. I just want to be closer to Him and to really belong to Him in the fullest way, and leave the world for Him. And then afterwards I get afraid cause I have so many attachments and it’s not easy to leave the world. I feel so unable to, and I don’t know what my vocation is… I also feel like I have soo many sins that are getting in the way, and preventing me from loving Jesus the way I want to.

Basically what I’m saying is that deep inside I have all these desires to love Jesus completely and to be His, but I feel too weak/unable to live it out, and what makes it worse is sometimes I go through kind of intense (for me) spiritual attacks and come out of them feeling even weaker/further from Him. I also keep on getting these thoughts…that Jesus would not call me to be a nun, because I’m not good enough for that, and I’m not holy, and really all I have is this longing in me to be with Him. I’m afraid of disappointing Him with my life… but I don’t know what He wants. My family is I think expecting me to marry, and I understand why they do, of course, but inside I know Jesus has a place in my heart that just can’t be filled by anyone else.

I’m sorry this post became so long. I don’t’ think I’ve ever put this into words before, until now. I feel so happy being with Him or after Communion and that’s the best part of my life… but all my sin and worldliness is so discouraging and I feel like the most unworthy/weakest person to be called to a religious vocation, so I’m doubting that I am. But how am I to live, if I don’t find the same happiness in everything else? I’m the type of person that appreciates the little simple things, like reading a book or looking at the birds in my backyard or having coffee with a good friend. Those things make me glad but it’s totally different with Jesus. And yet I’m living in the world… does anyone know what I mean? 😦 :o
 
It’s helped me to read about Saints like St Therese who became holy through their everyday lives. I know that God has a plan and I want to surrender to His will for me, whatever it is, - it might not be anything “glorious” but I think that’s good cause then I can learn more humility and die to self more. And I know that He’s placed me in the circumstances that I am…in my particular family, my university, …in this whole situation. And I believe our circumstances is where God means for us to become holy and be Saints. 🙂 I can accept that. But I’m wondering what will happen for the rest of my life… like once I graduate. I’m making plans for my career, etc, but don’t know what my vocation is. I feel like the one thing I want can’t happen (save by miracle) cause there’s SO much in the way, and I’m trying to focus on wanting what God wants and leaving it at that, but …well I’m afraid that if He doesn’t call me a religious vocation, it’s like He’s rejecting me from the most beautiful relationship with Him that I can think of…and asking me to be more distant from Him. And that’s painful to think about. But…“not as I want but as God wants, let it be done unto me”.

the way I feel is like… imagine there’s a girl who is really weak and worldly and has a lot of sin… and God shows this girl (a bit of) His love for her, and she realizes THIS is what she’s always needed and was made for. And then He gives her a grace she can’t understand, which is a desire to love Him back completely… but she’s still this old person. And her circumstances are still the same. And she’s trying to take it day by day and learn to follow Jesus in her life NOW, but thoughts of the future still come up and it’s all confusing/uncertain. In addition to that, she battles sin daily and all her failings make her feel ashamed/unworthy. …that’s kind of how I feel but there’s more to it and I can’t put it into words.

Hope that makes sense 🤷

and what about this: religious-vocation.com/index.html
 
Monica, it’s astonishing to me how similar our lives are. I, too, am discerning religious life and I feel very inadequate and unworthy to even be called to live a life as a nun. This past month, I went to visit a religious order where I met several young women who I felt were holier than me, and less vain than I because I was the only one wearing makeup (I have early onset rosacea) and felt out of place a couple of times, but I truly enjoyed my time there and was so glad that I came. I’m learning that I cannot compare myself to anyone because it does get discouraging. Christ, perfect that He is, made us special and unlike any other. Whether or not we lived sinful lives before our conversion matters not in the grand scheme of things. It’s what is in our hearts that truly matters. I think about the end of my life and what I would have wanted to contribute to my loving Savior and I don’t want to tell Him that I was too afraid that I wouldn’t be able to live as He was calling me because that is a denial of His grace and mercy. I want to be able to live with Him and for Him and begin Heaven on earth (who wouldn’t want that?) and be able to show Him how faithful I was. I’m sure you do too.

There is an old adage:

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”

What you are feeling now is normal. I don’t think there has ever been anyone in the history of religious life who believed she truly deserved the call and had all the answers. The only way we can do this is by relying totally on Jesus Christ and trust that His grace will provide all we need.

I think it’s wonderful when we can see our own weaknesses because we learn how much we need our Merciful Savior and we can give everything to Him freely who loves us so much. Our weaknesses can make us humble if we don’t dwell on them and we offer them up. If everyone believed they were not good enough and never did what Christ was asking of them, there would be no one in religious life! No one, no matter how perfect they may seem to be, is worthy of this calling. It’s one of the most beautiful mysteries of Christ.

“Look well into your heart and see if you have resolution enough to die to yourself and to live only for God.”–St. Francis de Sales

I will pray for you, Monica. God bless you!
 
Monica,
I would strongly suggest that you seek out a spiritual director who can help you with some of this.
Also, you might wish to contact a religious center near you and talk to them. Ask if they have “discernment” weekends or something similar. Also remember that, even once you choose to enter a community, there is a discernment process that takes a year or more.

This is a process that will take much time, but if this is what you feel drawn to, by all means pursue it.

Do not worry about your, “past life”. St Augustine was a libertine before his conversion. St Francis was also very worldly and ambitious before he was called into religious life.
Rather than being a hinderance, your sinful past could actually be a great gift to one in religious life.
If you choose an active religious order, one that teaches or works in hospitals or with the poor, your past will give you understanding and empathy for those you might interact with. If you choose a cloistered community, your prayers will have a special charism owing to your deep understanding of how easily and how often those in “The World” offend God.

Be Gentle with yourself. Speak to your friends who are in discernment. Get their advise. If God is truly calling you to religious life, great. If he is not, then he will reveal to you what your true vocation is to be.

Peace
James
 
I read somewhere that the closer you draw to God the more you recognise your sinfulness and your sins become apparent before you. The very fact that you feel unworthy is a grace that not all christians possess. You are blessed indeed!

Never compare yourself with another person. its a BIG NO ! NO!
we are all on our own unique spiritual journey with God. No two persons are the same.
Also appearances can be very deceptive.
If you read the lifes of the saints, like st francis, the kept repeating over and over that they were unworthy that the Lord should walk with them.

Let this feeling of unworthiness propel you to seek even further the God who is calling you.

May your joy in the Lord be full.
shalom
odopa
 
I was reading both your posts, Monica and DaughterofMary. I agree with you!

I’m ‘older’, mid-50s to be exact, and I haven’t the foggiest notion as what God wants me to do with my life. I’ve ‘vented’ a number of times on other threads, and I might sound like the proverbial broken record, but that’s me! 🤷

I feel so out of place in today’s world. When I was younger, I wanted to be a Carmelite nun, because I loved Our Lady and St. Therese (and still do). 🙂 But after seven years of writing to and visiting the convent, the Sister who was Novice Mistress at the time said to me that I had ‘a love and a loyalty to the Order, but not a vocation’. So I simply accepted the verdict. But as time went on I kept wondering, Now what am I going to do with my life? I had a job, and was able to travel many times to Europe-loved going to the different shrines.

Now I’m not working-haven’t been able to find anything in over a year. I just feel that there’s no place for me. I only do Adoration and the TLM on Sundays [nothing during the week]. I pray my Rosary daily, and spend most of my time in the library, where I use my laptop computer to go online to places like EWTN. I live a very quiet and ‘blah’ existence-not really a ‘life’. And I’m alone most of the time, too-what few ‘friends’ I might have are either married or live far away. I have no contact with my family-two sisters-because all they want to do is sell the house where I grew up in and still live.

All the priests around here are liberal, so there is no question of going to any of them for spiritual direction. What few ‘good’ ones that were around, they’re either dead or driven away from this liberal diocese I’m in because they are considered ‘too traditional’. I respect the priesthood very much, but there are times when I think they are ‘clueless’ when it comes to the ‘****’ that the rest of us have to put with in this world.

Ah, well…another vent…story of my life, I suppose…😦
 
Dear Monika,
May the peace of Christ be with you.

Based on what you have written, it sounds to me like you do have a vocation to the religious life (For these are the greatest signs: A burning desire to grow in holiness and in love for Our Lord, attraction to religious life, and feelings of unworthiness). It seems that Our Lady is already asking you; “will you follow My Son.” You feel it in your heart, which is so evident in what you have written. Grace is working in your heart. The seed has already been planted, but it must be watered and nurtured if it is to grow.

This inner conflict that you are experiencing seems to be common for people who feel a desire to enter religious life but have little first hand experience with religious communities. I think you will find that the more you visit communities and interact with them, the clearer your discernment will become.

The difficulty many people have early in discernment, is that they have been living in the world all their lives; it is all they have ever known. To compare this life, which is real an tangible, to an abstract idea of religious life, is very difficult. This is why it is so important to take action on your desires, and follow them up by arranging visits with religious communities, to allow this seed which has been planted in you to take root and grow, if it is God’s will. The more time that you spend with them, the better position you will be in to make an informed rationale decision about where Our Lord is calling you, and the less inner confusion you will experience.

Perhaps this article may be of some help to you;
religious-vocation.com/discerning_religious_vocation.html

.
 
Maybe I’m a romantic, but I think feeling unworthy is part of our human trappings. It is the world crushing down on us with skew values and weight. The truth is never can we be worth of anything, but the Lord makes us worth of what He wills us to be. Because of this, no matter our doubt and our concerns if we are called, then al we need to do is trust in our Master who calls us.

“I have called you and you are mine.”
 
Monica4316 said:
Hi

I know people say so often that they don’t feel worthy to be called to a religious vocation. But I’m afraid that in my case it might be so and I’m confused about all my feelings. I was wondering if anyone here had any thoughts or went through something similar…

I’m a convert to the Catholic faith. I’m in my early 20s. I haven’t always been a Christian and have lived a pretty sinful life before I converted. But also I’ve lived a very worldly life. I feel like I have so many attachments… I have some friends who are discerning religious life, and I always feel that I’m not like them… they come from such strong Catholic families, they grew up in the faith and probably haven’t done half the things I’ve done - I don’t know.

I feel like who I am on the outside and on the inside is so different. On the outside, I’m just a regular university student, and I hang out with my friends and talk a lot and laugh loudly and sometimes carry a fashionable bag or wear some makeup. My friends who are discerning are so different and so much more like Mary. I want to be more like them and don’t know how. On the inside though, I’m a really shy/quiet person and I hate sin and I want to be pure/gentle/humble like Our Lady. I feel drawn to holiness and to serving people and the poor. I have a spiritual director and I’d say he’s helped me a lot, and I try to be really open and honest, but when I’m there and talk to him I again feel so unworthy and not like all the other people he’s directing. I don’t know how to deal with this 😦 a (non Catholic) friend told me that she doesn’t really see me as a nun, - but what she doesn’t know is that deep inside I feel so drawn to that… I do have a natural desire for marriage, and sometimes seriously wonder about that too, and there has been a guy that I liked. But at the end of the day when I go to Adoration or receive the Eucharist, or sometimes when I’m thinking about God, I just want to give my whole life to Jesus and keep nothing for myself, I want to live for Him fully whatever that means. And at those moments, marriage seems like it’s for someone else, not for me. I just want to be closer to Him and to really belong to Him in the fullest way, and leave the world for Him. And then afterwards I get afraid cause I have so many attachments and it’s not easy to leave the world. I feel so unable to, and I don’t know what my vocation is… I also feel like I have soo many sins that are getting in the way, and preventing me from loving Jesus the way I want to.

Basically what I’m saying is that deep inside I have all these desires to love Jesus completely and to be His, but I feel too weak/unable to live it out, and what makes it worse is sometimes I go through kind of intense (for me) spiritual attacks and come out of them feeling even weaker/further from Him. I also keep on getting these thoughts…that Jesus would not call me to be a nun, because I’m not good enough for that, and I’m not holy, and really all I have is this longing in me to be with Him. I’m afraid of disappointing Him with my life… but I don’t know what He wants. My family is I think expecting me to marry, and I understand why they do, of course, but inside I know Jesus has a place in my heart that just can’t be filled by anyone else.

I’m sorry this post became so long. I don’t’ think I’ve ever put this into words before, until now. I feel so happy being with Him or after Communion and that’s the best part of my life… but all my sin and worldliness is so discouraging and I feel like the most unworthy/weakest person to be called to a religious vocation, so I’m doubting that I am. But how am I to live, if I don’t find the same happiness in everything else? I’m the type of person that appreciates the little simple things, like reading a book or looking at the birds in my backyard or having coffee with a good friend. Those things make me glad but it’s totally different with Jesus. And yet I’m living in the world… does anyone know what I mean? 😦 :o
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The truth is that we are not worthy. WE ARE ALL not worthy to be in the prensence of God but it is thru Jesus that we become worthy. You must love Jesus with all your might and soul so that he can transform you into something special but you are all ready have something special about you because God gives people the gifts to be nuns and priests and it seems you have them. We must remember that people dont become nuns and priests by themselves they surrender to God’s will and they get transformed by God’s Grace. WE are just tools of God’s will, we must not take credit for ourselves it is God who works in us.

BTW it is great to hear that you are considering a vocation as a sister. I love sisters and i think they are really special because they some of the most humble people I’ve met, I will pray for your discernment and please give a prayer for me because im going to enter the seminary after Highschool(by God’s grace) and I need all the prayers i can get.

Peace and Good will
 
Thank you everyone 🙂 I’m continuing to pray about this… your replies have helped 🙂 God bless!
 
No one is really worthy to be called in such a life; it is by God’s grace that we become worthy, and not because of anything we might have. It is a blessing. It takes much discernment to enter the religious life; usually it will take years and a lot of changes in decision. That is normal; it is not something one takes lightly. Somehow God will lead one towards his/her calling at some point, if that is His will. Then again, it is normal to have some resistance to this; again, it is not something that is to be taken lightly. You will give up so many things, but you will also receive much in return. God is gracious.
 
I found this quote that I really thought fit from the site Monica gave.
Saint Theresa of Avila
“Though I could not at first bend my will to be a nun, I saw that the religious state was the best and safest. And thus, by little and little, I resolved to force myself into it. The struggle lasted three months. … ] When I took the habit, Our Lord at once made me understand how He helps those who do violence to themselves, in order to serve Him, I was filled with a joy so great that it has never failed me to this day.”

Sometimes, we don’t have all the answers. You have to trust that God knows what’s best.
 
Milliardo said:
No one is really worthy to be called in such a life; it is by God’s grace that we become worthy, and not because of anything we might have. It is a blessing. It takes much discernment to enter the religious life; usually it will take years and a lot of changes in decision. That is normal; it is not something one takes lightly. Somehow God will lead one towards his/her calling at some point, if that is His will. Then again, it is normal to have some resistance to this; again, it is not something that is to be taken lightly. You will give up so many things, but you will also receive much in return. God is gracious.
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that’s very true 🙂
duchess453 said:
I found this quote that I really thought fit from the site Monica gave.
Saint Theresa of Avila
“Though I could not at first bend my will to be a nun, I saw that the religious state was the best and safest. And thus, by little and little, I resolved to force myself into it. The struggle lasted three months. … ] When I took the habit, Our Lord at once made me understand how He helps those who do violence to themselves, in order to serve Him, I was filled with a joy so great that it has never failed me to this day.”

Sometimes, we don’t have all the answers. You have to trust that God knows what’s best.
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Thank you, that’s a beautiful quote! 😃

God bless
 
Hi Monica. 🙂

Reading your initial post, you and I sound very similar. I am 19, and I was baptized and confirmed last November. For most of my life before that, I was not religious, and especially in my later teen years I was atheistic and worldly as you say. I sinned freely, and built up many habits that still haunt me now, that I am struggling to work through. But, one of the most beautiful, deeply wonderful things about Catholicism is the opportunity to confront and overcome your problems; and in the meantime, to still be loved by God and be able to be supported by God’s grace through the Sacraments. The continuous presence of the Holy Spirit within me is so deeply refreshing and supportive, a constant resource that I draw on every day - almost all day.

Though you are unworthy to be in God’s presence, as others have said, you should not feel as if you are not good enough to be in a religious order/vocation. People sometimes seem to have this image of Catholic saints as perfect humans, without sin or error - but that is far from the truth. What makes a person a saint, or a good person at all, is the ability to recognize their faults, admit them with honest contrition before God, others and oneself, and to then earnestly work to fix one’s behavior. No one is sinless - “all have sinned and fallen short,” as St. Paul says. We must all carry our individual Cross up the mountain of life, but we are not alone. We are supported by God and each other, and by the saving hope of Heaven.

Please, do not hate yourself or feel negatively about yourself Monica. You are a child of God. If Jesus Christ felt you were good enough for Him to die for you, for the Father to send His only Son for you, shouldn’t you feel you are good enough for yourself and other people? I have a habit of feeling bad about myself too, especially with my sinful habits. But I am learning that focusing on the good is what creates good behavior - not focusing on our past wrongs and the negative.

God bless. 🙂
 
Monica, get a good spiritual director. Then do as directed. You won’t go wrong doing that.
 
Thank you everyone!! 🙂

I have a spiritual director and he’s really good, I just don’t have the opportunity to see him very often. But I’ll talk to him about this 🙂

I feel better now after reading the posts and praying about all this and I feel like God has encouraged me a lot…

God bless!!
 
Monica4316 said:
I’m a convert to the Catholic faith. I’m in my early 20s. I haven’t always been a Christian and have lived a pretty sinful life before I converted. But also I’ve lived a very worldly life. I feel like I have so many attachments… I have some friends who are discerning religious life, and I always feel that I’m not like them… they come from such strong Catholic families, they grew up in the faith and probably haven’t done half the things I’ve done - I don’t know.
The past is the past and it’s out of our hands. The Future is in God’s loving caring hands and there it must stay. The only thing we can do anything about is the here and now. Live in the present moment and don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough worries of it’s own.
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I feel like who I am on the outside and on the inside is so different. On the outside, I’m just a regular university student, and I hang out with my friends and talk a lot and laugh loudly and sometimes carry a fashionable bag or wear some makeup. My friends who are discerning are so different and so much more like Mary. I want to be more like them and don’t know how. On the inside though, I’m a really shy/quiet person and I hate sin and I want to be pure/gentle/humble like Our Lady. I feel drawn to holiness and to serving people and the poor. God doesn’t look at the outside He only cares about the inside. This is kind of a funny thing but I have a holy hour every Wednesday morning and this past Wednesday for some reason I really felt the need to stay in my PJs. I was rather confused and was thinking ‘isn’t that really disrespectful to you?’ and He said “no, just trust me and do it” so I went to Adoration in my PJs and the whole hour He was teaching me that He really doesn’t care about the outside look, as long as the heart is in the right placeI have a spiritual director and I’d say he’s helped me a lot, and I try to be really open and honest, but when I’m there and talk to him I again feel so unworthy and not like all the other people he’s directing. I don’t know how to deal with this 😦 a (non Catholic) friend told me that she doesn’t really see me as a nun, - but what she doesn’t know is that deep inside I feel so drawn to that… I do have a natural desire for marriage, and sometimes seriously wonder about that too, and there has been a guy that I liked. Every Religious sister I’ve ever talked to has said that women who have religious vocations are usually the ones who would make the best mothers because the call to religious life really is a call to motherhood as well, just a spiritual motherhood not a physical motherhood But at the end of the day when I go to Adoration or receive the Eucharist, or sometimes when I’m thinking about God, I just want to give my whole life to Jesus and keep nothing for myself, I want to live for Him fully whatever that means. And at those moments, marriage seems like it’s for someone else, not for me. I just want to be closer to Him and to really belong to Him in the fullest way, and leave the world for Him. And then afterwards I get afraid cause I have so many attachments and it’s not easy to leave the world.Of course it’s not easy to leave the world but if you are called to it then it’s the only thing that will make you feel fulfilled. If you are called then it’s only there where you will feel home and will be able to become truly who you are. In the words of JPII “Do not be afraid!” Believe me, I know how much easier said then done that is but it’s so important for us to learn. He won’t bring you to it if He can’t bring you through it and you have to trust the gift and trust the giver! I feel so unable to, and I don’t know what my vocation is… I also feel like I have soo many sins that are getting in the way, and preventing me from loving Jesus the way I want to. So do all of us. The most Holy of Saints were Holy because they were aware of their sinfulness. ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Rom 3:23 God is a God that forgives and forgets. Your sins are gone, they are on the bottom of the ocean floor.

Basically what I’m saying is that deep inside I have all these desires to love Jesus completely and to be His, but I feel too weak/unable to live it out, and what makes it worse is sometimes I go through kind of intense (for me) spiritual attacks and come out of them feeling even weaker/further from Him. I also keep on getting these thoughts…that Jesus would not call me to be a nun, because I’m not good enough for that, and I’m not holy, and really all I have is this longing in me to be with Him. I’m afraid of disappointing Him with my life… but I don’t know what He wants. My family is I think expecting me to marry, and I understand why they do, of course, but inside I know Jesus has a place in my heart that just can’t be filled by anyone else. There have been countless saints who have gone through the Spiritual warfare like that. I saw something that said “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and keep hanging on.” Do not worry but when that happens pray the Rosary and pray the Most Holy Name of Jesus. The Holy Name is the most powerful prayer there is because by that Name you are participating in every Holy Mass that is being said at that moment all around the world. I would encourage you to get into the habit of repeating the Holy Name as often as possible, with every breath would be the best.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!
 
Thank your for posting this. It’s really helped me, too. God bless! 🙂
 
Hi Monica!
First of all, I your post is really similar to what I’m going through right now. Doubt, fear, and spiritual attacks are all kinds of things that Satan will use against us to steer us in the wrong direction. I’ve been seriously discerning priesthood, and I have begun the long road of fear, doubt, and spiritual attacks last month. When you start to seriously discern religious life, Satan will tear you to shreds with every road block imaginable. The very last thing that he wants is another priest or religious ruining his “style.”
Unworthiness is so common on this road, and it’s not that unreasonable of a perception - we are ALL unworthy to serve Christ and live for Him alone. Who am I to literally call down the Holy Spirit to make the bread and wine the Body and Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ? Who am I to forgive sins in the name of Jesus Christ? Who am I to spread the Good News of God’s love? Who am I to be Christ for God’s people? Who am I to lead people to the Truth? These are good questions but can also be Satan’s weapons against us if they persist. If these are persistent, Satan is trying really hard to deter you. Pray, pray, and pray some more! God will show you the way.
I may have doubts and concerns and sorrows, but at the end of the day, I know that priesthood is for me. I want to give up my life for Christ. He gave me His.
I suggest continuing to pray and receiving the Sacraments frequently. The Sacraments are VITAL on this road of discernment as they bring us closer to Jesus Christ.

EDIT: And I just realized that this is an old post. I feel like an idiot. 😊

Sorry!
 
Thanks for your post!! 🙂 even though it is old, it’s something that I’m still going through! so no worries! I can relate to what you said… I think that if you’ve been getting spiritual attacks while discerning, that is a good sign 😉 God bless you in your journey!
 
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