Feeling Very Lonely

[Irishmom2]

I will get approved for the lack of form as our marriage was not valid. We were two baptized Catholics who did not get married in the Catholic Church or receive dispensation. My priest has said that it will be approved because the marriage is it valid according to the church.

It may be, but it is not yet. No offense to your priest, but he should not be telling you as if it is a certainty because he is not the one that decides. Technically, it is as if you are still married and therefore, not free to date.

You really should not jump into dating anyway. It’s only been a very short time since your divorce. I believe in your other thread, you said the priest told you to wait to start dating until your lack of form is complete?

 

[naomanos6]

It may be, but it is not yet. No offense to your priest, but he should not be telling you as if it is a certainty because he is not the one that decides. Technically, it is as if you are still married and therefore, not free to date.

You really should not jump into dating anyway. It’s only been a very short time since your divorce.

If I have given the impression I am jumping right back into dating, then my apologies. I will wait till I am cleared by the church before I do. Never said I would date before then.

I have already had 10 months to grieve and probably will be at least another two or three months before the lack of form gets approved. That will be over a year.

I have never been the type to grieve for very long. I tend to get over things very quickly and easily.

 

[Gertabelle]

If I have given the impression I am jumping right back into dating, then my apologies. I will wait till I am cleared by the church before I do. Never said I would date before then.

I have already had 10 months to grieve and probably will be at least another two or three months before the lack of form gets approved. That will be over a year.

I have never been the type to grieve for very long. I tend to get over things very quickly and easily.

In the past year, I have been on the other side of a few relationships with men who, like you, thought they didn’t need much time to grieve. I met these men on Catholic Match.

They wanted my friendship, acted like they were dating (phone calls, one-on-one get togethers for movies, dinner, etc.), and then after a few months announced that they weren’t really ready to date, that they just wanted friendship, blah, blah, blah. And then they were surprised that I was hurt and wasn’t really interested in continuing a friendship with them.

You see, a woman who is ready to pursue an actual romantic relationship, doesn’t necessarily want to be a man’s rebound, or his shoulder to cry on as he gets over his ex, or the woman who relieves his loneliness.

And if you’re over your marriage that quickly, makes me wonder why… just saying…

 

[naomanos6]

Thank you all for replies, I will take all the advice under advisement.

 

[cdb64]

Look for Divorce Care in a local church. If you can find a Baptist Church they usually have a cafeteria, so you get at least one good meal a week. Divorce Care is 13 weeks and is very informative on the stages of divorce. They also give you homework to reflect upon each week. Each week is different and you can jump right in when ever you find a class that is in progress.

I would not worry about an annulment at this stage. Trust me, it is an emotionally invasive process, that is not very helpful. I’m in the third year of the process, re-applying for new grounds. Its made me consider leaving the Church.

But hang in there, it will get better.

 

[naomanos6]

Look for Divorce Care in a local church. If you can find a Baptist Church they usually have a cafeteria, so you get at least one good meal a week. Divorce Care is 13 weeks and is very informative on the stages of divorce. They also give you homework to reflect upon each week. Each week is different and you can jump right in when ever you find a class that is in progress.

I would not worry about an annulment at this stage. Trust me, it is an emotionally invasive process, that is not very helpful. I’m in the third year of the process, re-applying for new grounds. Its made me consider leaving the Church.

But hang in there, it will get better.

Thank you for your reply.

The lack of form is a much quicker and simpler way for the church to dismiss a marriage. Since we were both Catholics at the time of our marriage and didn’t get married in the Catholic Church or receive dispensation, the church does not recognize our marriage as valid. It is only one form, only need two affidavits from family members to state that no one formally renounced the Catholic church and that the marriage was never con-validated in the Catholic church. It then gets sent to the tribunal and they either approve it or disapprove it.

I will see about the divorce care thing. I am not usually one for joining things like that in the middle of the term so to speak and will probably just wait for another to start.