Oh my gosh! I had to register here so i could respond to the post.
I was raised with 6 other siblings, and my mom raised us to be “independent, and don’t you dare depend upon a man!” Well, it worked. I went to college for 8 years, got a wonderful degree, and now I regret it (not the degree, but what I went through). I got married, and my husband was very happy that I could “contribute” to the family (like I wasn’t already!!). We have been married 20 years. However, even though now everything is cool, it wasn’t always. I had my oldest child in daycare, so I could bring home the “big bucks”, which was actually used for beautiful clothing, daycare, gas, eating out, and more wonderful and expensive activities for my son. Then, my Dad has a major stroke, so I had to quit the 5 clinics I worked for, and take over his practice, until he recovered. Well, he never recovered fully, and I never went back to employee status, because I had to help him pay his bills, housing, etc. by taking over his office. He lost a lot of patients because they lost faith in him, and did not want to switch to a “woman” doctor (so much for “feminism”). Anyways (sorry this is long, but there is a point), I kept working full time, and even had 2 more babies, but was able to bring them to work with me, because I did not want them in daycare (my son’s daycare lady was smoking pot while he was running around her pool, and we sent him to a daycare center, but, the expense was too much for daycare). But, husband was happy because that was MY responsibility, as I was working and “had to contribute”. By the way, he never gave me a DIME, because I had my “own” money. He lied about his income (I ended up picking up all the groceries, clothing, etc), and two affairs later, everything came to a halt. What was worse, was that I was pregnant with a fourth child, who ended up with a brain disorder. So, my practice was way down, still carrying my father financially until his social security kicked in, and living a miserable life. My husband and I were two separate people with two separate paychecks. I was getting to the point where I could not go to work because I could not afford to put gas in my car anymore. When I asked about money, my husband never, ever had any, and had his own hidden checking account. Finally, I thought that I could do better on my own with child support and alimony (financially, that is), and there was no marriage anyways. Being an independent woman, I did not NEED a man…So, I told him I wanted a divorce, which he did not want.
By the grace of God, reverting back to my faith (instead of the faith of money), many Rosaries, and sacrifices, we are happily married, and I only work three mornings per week (to keep Dad busy-oh, my Mom had died, and they were divorced-so much for femininsm). My husband, has made a complete turn around, and has supported me raising the children in the Faith (I used to get so much flak before), and I have use of the checking account!! We are totally in love, commited to the children, and are living a whole different life.
That was a long story, but the last 20 years of, well, hell, has opened my eyes to the whole feminism thing. My husband actually LOST respect for me because I was working. I was pretty much used as an income earner, so he could buy the toys and extras for the family or himself (when I was making good money, I was buying all the groceries, clothing, etc., because he refused to…which allowed him to use his income for the latest computer, car, etc). Feminism allowed that to happen. I bought into it, was raised with it, and was kicked in the face with it. Now, I realize the importance of motherhood, taking care of MY home, and educating MY children (my gifts from God). Our Lord and Lady has brought me through all this to learn, because of my pride and stubborness, I had nearly lost my husband and children. I am now lucky to have a few dollars in my pocket,and I could not be any happier. I thank God every day for opening my eyes. My husband is a much different person, and I can actually support and listen to him, whereas before, I was so tired and drained from work, that I needed someone to be there for me, and he wasn’t, because he was so tired! Sacrifice and unselfishness now rule our household.
I realize that some women HAVE to work, and are in a position like I was. I did not believe we could make it, but God gently decreased my income and got me used to regular things (not designer), so I would be prepared for my special needs baby, who has been a blessing. I lost a lot of friends, and many, many people lost respect for me.
I do not mean to judge, but please, feminism destroyed my life for many years, and was like an insidious cancer growing into unhappiness. My heart breaks when women tell me that they might have to go back to work so they can afford vacations, pay down the credit card bills, or pay tuition at the local private high school, but it is all just a trap to keep the woman away from her family. My thinking was so messed up, and what I thought was confidence was just ugly pride and arrogance. I have so much more confidence since I have been home.
Feminism has ruined families, ruined marriages, and made the woman into a dollar sign. Let alone give men the freedom to spend more on toys and of themselves, more time for affairs, and also less reproductive responsibility.
Long post, but it has been on my mind since forever! I have made a flip to being, well, old-fashioned, and I get so much joy and peace from getting my priorities straight-after 20 years that is!
God is so good.
