I was never pressured to get married. My mom/aunt/grandmother never really gave me the whole “when you get married, this” and “when you get married, that” routine. I always expected that I would though and looked forward to it till my parents got divorced. I saw the pain my mom went through and it killed me. They started out so wonderful and then bam, 20 years later it was over.
I didn’t get the pressure at home, but from the larger society. Even running around with rebel type friends, if someone was engaged, the automatic reaction was to be happy for her/him, regardless of who the person was about to marry. When I was 18 I got engaged to prove I was old enough to be serious, but the idea of being married was so repulsive to us both we set the date about 30 years away. Of course, we broke up. He pursued me and begged me to come back. I knew better. I hid from him, confronted him, had my friends tell him to go away… and then I met someone I thougth I wanted to marry because I thought being married to him would be like hanging out with him. But neither of us wanted ot be actually married, as in stuck, just two of us, in each other’s faces.

He got scared first that time. I’m so glad one of us put a stop to that relationship! Around and around, trying to decide how to live, whom to end up with, it went on for years.
I got engaged again a few years later to someone who just wouldn’t break up with me. Major weirdness and ugliness, finally he went away. I’m so relieved he’s out of my life. He was a hard person to be in a room with never mind live with. Even staying the night was a strain. I thought I had to marry him because I was 25, and I didn’t want to seem immature or anything, so I thought I’d better hurry up, get married and have four or five kids as fast as I could. I thought he was giving me feedback that he wanted the same thing. He just didn’t know what he wanted, except that whatever it was should revolve around him. He seemed to have a big mental block when I tried to talk about how babies were going to need more attention than he did; he was almost 40 but still thought he should be the center of attention everywhere.

So when i became a Christian later in my life I decided to just go to a church with a nice culture and make some friends, hang out and see what would be expted of me. Well, everyone was pretty sure I needed a husband. To socialize as I always had wasn’t done. Adults socialized as couples, unless they were widows. I hung out with the widows and old folks and felt out of place. I switched churches and found that all anyone talked about was marriage. I tried hard to psych myself into wanting a husband. I ended up in tears, near hopeless of being happy ever again, as I thought of how I was “supposed to” be married by then. It just sounded horrible. I tried to talk to my friends there about it and they didn’t understand what I was saying, no matter how I explained it. they thought I just wanted to sleep around or something, or that I was antisocial. People seemed exhausted trying to talk to me. But all I wanted to know was, is it OK to be social, and not be married or trying to get married? It was too much to think about I guess. Maybe they’d never thought about it either. Maybe they didn’t really want to be married either.