Fertility test pre-wedding

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With married life there are no guarantees. Even if everything came back normal, that is no guarantee. There are many cases of unexplained infertility. I have an adopted son. He is an incredible blessing. If we had been extremely fertile, then I don’t think I would have the wonderful blessing of knowing him. I can’t imagine my life w/o him.

Frankly, your life is not about what you want. It is about giving it over to God and loving your spouse enough to help him/her to get to heaven. The operative word here is SACRAFICE! Try to get your mind around that because you will need to do this almost every day of your married life. Oh if you are a man you get to lay down your life for your wife. We woman only have to be obedient.
 
Akron, why in the name of God Himself would you require “proof” of fertility before marriage? :confused: That’s truly appalling. It reduces your spouse to a single bodily function. Would you call the marriage off if he/she were infertile??

If so, RUN to break the marriage off now, because you are nowhere NEAR ready to make a covenant.

I am speechless. Tell me please that this is a joke.
 
I think people are jumping to more negative conclusions than might be the case.

Could it not be, if we give the OP the benefit of the doubt, that she merely wants to be aware of any future difficulties? Many times infertility is a symptom of an illness, and those which are caught early can be treated. E.g. ovarian cancer.

If she is in a long engagement or preparing to be engaged, perhaps she feels a fertility test gives the couple more to learn about each other and a reason to discuss beliefs, actions, expectations, etc.
 
Isn’t procreation the purpose of Catholic marriage?

Shouldn’t I want to know as much information about what I’m getting into before I make any sacramental agreeements?

It seems such a question would be directly related to my purpose for pursuing a Catholic marriage.
 
Procreation is only one purpose of marriage. Try reading the Cathechism Article 7, the whole thing.

**1654 Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and Christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice. **

If procreation were the only purpose, then any marriage that didn’t result in children would be invalid, but this is not what the Church teaches.

There is no way you can prepare yourself for all that your marriage may encounter. The very tests you take for fertility at most will tell you that there is possibility of conception. The actual conception is always in God’s hands. As far as I know there is no test for what God has planned for you in this life. It could be that you get these test and the week after you are married you or your spouse gets cancer of the reproductive organs which necessitates the removal of those organs. Guess what that will pretty much remove the possibility of conception. But alas God’s plan may be adoption or some other thing. It really is more about loving your spouse enough to help them get to heaven through all trials. And more than that it is about trusting God.
 
kristacecilia said:
For example, I am a carrier of a rare blood disorder called beta thalassemia. It doesn’t do anything to me, but if had kids with someone else who was also a carrier our kids could be born with horrible birth defects and live painful lives until they died at a very young age.
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My boyfriend and his younger brother both have thalessemia. They both look normal, are able to play sports, and are very smart. This is all with proper medical treatment, of course. Miracles happen 🙂
 
jc-servant said:
OP, please don’t ask this testing of anyone! If I were your fiancee and you asked me to undergo testing like a brood mare (or for the males, a stud), well. . .you would be looking for a new person to marry. I believe it reduces the human to just one of their bodily functions and strips them of their dignity to make them get fertility tests before agreeing to marry them.

Only God will decide if any couple gets biological children. Every test in the world could say someone is fertile and if it is not God’s will then the result will just not happen. I have married friends who have undergone testing due to numerous miscarriages after their first pregnancy had been no problem. The doctors say nothing is biologically wrong, yet multiple miscarriages. Therefore, testing tells them nothing about whether they will be blessed with more children.
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We would be one of those couples. Its been a test, but in some ways a blessing because it has brought me and my husband closer than I thought we would be because of the situation.

I think having an honest and frank discussion about being fertile or not is wise before you get married. You should be having honest and frank discussions about a lot of topics. But to insist that your future wife or husband get a fertility test? I think it would be a red flag to me that there could be a potential problem in the relationship and what other demands may be made of me after the wedding.
 
AkronPonderer said:
In a romantic relationship potentially leading to marriage, is it OK to ask for a fertility test?

If so, at what point in the relationship?

Is it OK for both the male to ask, as it is for the female?
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Whether it’s okay to ask depends on how your partner would react. It’s possible some people could be very offended by such a question, and it could damage your relationship.

If having biological children is essential to you, then you should probably ask. No use getting married and finding out you can’t have something that is essential to you. Still, you’d be taking a risk that your partner would walk away from you. I also doubt there is a foolproof fertility test.
 
nicole22 said:
My boyfriend and his younger brother both have thalessemia. They both look normal, are able to play sports, and are very smart. This is all with proper medical treatment, of course. Miracles happen 🙂
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I’ve known variousthalessemia patients. A baby born with thalassemia can have a very full life and his/her life expectancy is much greater now with treatments that weren’t available years ago.
 
I would be devastated if I were engaged & my fiancee asked for a fertility test. So you only love me enough to marry me if I am capable of reproduction? Yikes. On the bright side, it would help me discern whether or not to marry such a person and would probably prevent me from making a big mistake there!
 
Gotta love all these resurrection threads. I guess it’s because of Easter! 😉
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
I’ve known variousthalessemia patients. A baby born with thalassemia can have a very full life and his/her life expectancy is much greater now with treatments that weren’t available years ago.
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I am very glad to hear of this. Most of my knowledge of thalassemia is dated- things my mother was told at the time of my diagnosis at age four. Of course, I am only a carrier so it only affects me when I want to have a home birth and my hemoglobin levels are too low. 🙂

I have never met someone who has the full thalassemia, just the minor version like myself.
 
I have no real reason to suspect that I am infertile, but I would dump any man who asked me to take a fertility test.

The Church permits infertile couples to marry, and as a woman with an adopted cousin who I love very much, I find it especially insulting. If my uncle had done what you propose, my cousin would never have become a part of my family.

But then again, I have been very blessed throughout my life to see families grow as a result of adoption, so if my husband or I was infertile, I would almost rather try to adopt then go through expensive and difficult fertility treatments to try to conceive one of our own.

Note: I am NOT condemning couples who decide to use fertility treatments. But, for me, I have seen too many families and friends joyfully adopt children to avoid it. One of my friends is also looking into adoption, and she and her husband have a biological son of their own. That is the route I am comfortable with.
 
AkronPonderer said:
In a romantic relationship potentially leading to marriage, is it OK to ask for a fertility test?

If so, at what point in the relationship?

Is it OK for both the male to ask, as it is for the female?
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I think fertility test is not only about whether you can have children, but also whether your children would be genetically healthy and/or whether the mother-to-be can safely bear a child. If the tests show potential problems, that would help you prepare - either psychologically or pragmatically (natural family planning, perhaps?), if you cannot fix it

my only worry is about how the tests are carried out, perhaps with a doubt over the semen analysis side
 
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