J
Joseph_L_Varga
Guest
Nessie, your fiancee has a good fix on what it means to be (financially) responsible and plan ahead, and that’s something to build on. Now, you have to explain to him that doing things as God intended them is also about responsibility and planning ahead to avoid disasters down the road. You know that heavy smokers sometimes get sick and die of lung cancer, because they kept poisoning themselves with carcinogenic compounds over a period of several years. Likewise, poisoning your marriage with contraception is a mortal sin that kills the soul and could kill your marriage over time. Just because a lot of people do it, without any visible harm, it wouldn’t make it any less foolish for you guys to jump on the bandwagon. A lot of people keep smoking and are doing just fine, until they are diagnosed with cancer and then they are suddenly no longer fine. Giving a financial example, a lot of people took toxic mortgages (ARMs and even negative amortization mortgages) during the real estate boom, and they were doing just fine - until the real estate market collapsed, and then these people suddenly found themselves in great trouble and many of them went bankrupt.
It takes responsibility and planning ahead to avoid disasters not only with our finances and physical health, but also with our spiritual health and marriage. Do the right thing from day one, so that God may bless you both with a happy marriage. Get the point across to your fiancee. Not being able to be open for God’s gift of children just yet is a legitimate reason to wait with the wedding until you get on a more stable financial footing and until you are ready to welcome the children with whom God may bless your marriage.
In my opinion, whether you will end up with 2 children, 6 children, or none at all, you cannot foresee at this point. It is more important to agree first on the correct way of doing things, and that means every marital act should be open to children, but you commit no sin by refraining from the marital act as a means of family planning. Maybe 5 years into the marriage you will still not conceive; maybe after 3 kids your husband will loose his apprehension and will want 3 more. Some of these things are in God’s hands (including his ability to change people’s hearts and when exactly wants He to bless you with children) and he chose not to reveal them to you. You should simply be faithful and obedient to Him now, day by day, and let the events unfold. God is in control, and everything will be fine in the end.
It takes responsibility and planning ahead to avoid disasters not only with our finances and physical health, but also with our spiritual health and marriage. Do the right thing from day one, so that God may bless you both with a happy marriage. Get the point across to your fiancee. Not being able to be open for God’s gift of children just yet is a legitimate reason to wait with the wedding until you get on a more stable financial footing and until you are ready to welcome the children with whom God may bless your marriage.
In my opinion, whether you will end up with 2 children, 6 children, or none at all, you cannot foresee at this point. It is more important to agree first on the correct way of doing things, and that means every marital act should be open to children, but you commit no sin by refraining from the marital act as a means of family planning. Maybe 5 years into the marriage you will still not conceive; maybe after 3 kids your husband will loose his apprehension and will want 3 more. Some of these things are in God’s hands (including his ability to change people’s hearts and when exactly wants He to bless you with children) and he chose not to reveal them to you. You should simply be faithful and obedient to Him now, day by day, and let the events unfold. God is in control, and everything will be fine in the end.
