don’t forget that what bad you do to others you do to Jesus, but what good you do to others Jesus does through you,
“Learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart” when we are meek and humble, that is Jesus in us, and when we let Jesus work through us, it can only produce good effects, for one because people are just drawn to those things, and two because it is very pleasing to God.
to suffer for Jesus is a great proof of our love for Him, but to cause pain for others, even if they started it, is a proof of our lack of love for Him,
and it doesn’t matter if someone deserves it or not, we all deserve hell after all, so who are we do decide such things for our neighbor? Jesus forgave them as they were crucifying Him, and we hold grudges at the smallest insult…
whether it’s physical fighting or verbal fighting, neither will produce good fruit, but when your life or someone elses life is in danger, then it is permissible because your life is more important…but no phone, or money, or anything else, is worth sinning over, even venally…
i know you aren’t saying that you want to fight or that it should be ok, but when you said “but that seems very extreme to me” it just made me think that maybe you don’t understand to what degree it is bad…but if i’m wrong then ok, sorry for that, maybe i’m completely misunderstanding the question, but if not, then i hope this helps, tc.