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Fairwinds
Guest
its not about virtue and its not about immaturity, or idealism. its about how this kid is going to interact with a woman after marriage. and it doesn’t look good for the woman.
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Allegra
Guest
There are a couple of things in your post that I find a little…shall we say, immature? However, in answer to your question, I recommend the Catholicmatch website for online dating. It won’t “weed out non-virgins” but it does require a statement from participants that they agree or do not agree with the teachings of the Church on sexuality. That doesn’t mean that they always have, but that they are currently seeking to live their life t that standard. That being said, I recommend that to you for future use, because based on your post, I don’t think you are quite ready to be looking for marriage yet.
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Southern
Guest
Remember St. Mary Magdalen? Remember what she did? Do you know where she is now? Do you remember what Jesus Said? Be careful… I think this is what everyone is trying to tell you. A girl who is not a virgin may get into Heaven Long before you my friend. It is good to hold standards but not too high as it may cause you to lose what is the real gifts in life given by God himself. You may find one that is a virgin Great but if not then do not lose sight of what God places in front of you if she isn’t. She just might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Pray and Believe and Trust God. He knows what and who is best for you. Not you. God Bless!
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april32010
Guest
grow up
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1ke
Guest
A 23 year old college graduate is not a “kid”.
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Fairwinds
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thewanderer
Guest
There really is absolutely nothing wrong with him refusing to marry non-virgins, that is entirely his choice. If that is a deal-breaker for him, that is perfectly fine, he just needs to let anybody he dates know this. The problem is not at all with him only wanting to marry a virgin (although having this deal breaker will make it more difficult for him to find a good spouse). The problem is that the self-centered attitude he displays in his post is an attitude that cannot produce a happy marriage. Marriage is a vocation, a calling, to live ones life entirely for another, no matter how difficult or how much suffering that ends up bringing to you. Selfishness and self-centerdness cannot produce a happy marriage. If he doesn’t change his attitude it doesn’t matter if he marries a saint, his marriage will not be happy and it will not be as a marriage ought to. He needs to work on himself before he thinks about getting married.
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Bakhita16
Guest
I agree 100% with what Robert Chacon said. Especially with the friendship thing.
Sorry, I still haven’t figured out how to copy a person’s reply.
Sorry, I still haven’t figured out how to copy a person’s reply.
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edwest2
Guest
And you have a degree in psychology or mind-reading skills?
Seriously, I always look for someone who knows what they want and yes, I find out before going any further, what those things are. It’s rational. With my last girlfriend, the primary issue was I wasn’t making $300K a year. No joke. She had a list.
There are Catholic women out there looking for earned trust, compatibility in all those non-sexual areas, and real friendship. And yes, they want an attractive guy, but they don’t want a guy that’s known to do it with whoever. I don’t think any woman wants to think: “Well, it’s nice to know I’m in the low hundreds.” Or “I think I’m number 147 or 148. That’s not too bad.”
It’s too bad the internet can’t be a roomful of people with real names. And it’s sad when a guy, or girl, goes for what they want - virginity is a good thing - and gets their words reinterpreted in all those negative ways. Not just you.
Peace,
Ed
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Fairwinds
Guest
you don’t, as dylan says, need a weatherman to tell you which way the wind’s blowing. look at the responses from women about this guy.
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Allegra
Guest
His words aren’t being reinterpreted. His words are being read exactly as they are.
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thewanderer
Guest
Yup. I am apparantly the kind of woman this man wants to marry. But with the attitude he has shown here I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. Maybe the problem is just in a miscommunication. Maybe. But I find it much much more likely that someone who has typed up a post as the OP has has some serious issues with selfishness which would make it miserable to be married to him. If I, and others, are wrong about this, and it really is just a matter of miscommunication, then it is at least a good lesson for the OP to learn, that if he speaks as he has the women he wants to go out with are going to mistake him for having a fatal level of self-centeredness and so avoid him. Either way hopefully he will take away an important lesson from this thread.
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lerapt78
Guest
The only solution I could offer would be to possibly spend some time in places that are more likely to attract the more subdued women, as opposed to the “party” types of women. Libraries? Bookstores? Have you thought about joining any book clubs? What about extracurricular activities in which the women are less likely to rely on “glossing up” (makeup, heels, etc) such as community garden organizations, or pottery classes?
You might be likely to find more “down-to-earth” women there who are interested in the simple joys of life and might approach relationships from that standpoint.
I respectfully disagree.
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PaulinVA
Guest
Which spouse would you chose?
- Has had a few sexual.l partners, but will stay married to you for the rest of your life and will make you happy and stay with you in times of trial.
- A virgin who ultimately will leave you if things get tough or will stay and make your life miserable.
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Allegra
Guest
If there some reason you think that there are a higher number of virgins among bookworms and women who don’t wear makeup? You sure wouldn’t have found me in any of those places! (Well, maybe the library…but not there looking for guys!)The only solution I could offer would be to possibly spend some time in places that are more likely to attract the more subdued women, as opposed to the “party” types of women. Libraries? Bookstores? Have you thought about joining any book clubs? What about extracurricular activities in which the women are less likely to rely on “glossing up” (makeup, heels, etc) such as community garden organizations, or pottery classes?
You might be likely to find more “down-to-earth” women there who are interested in the simple joys of life and might approach relationships from that standpoint.
I respectfully disagree.
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Allegra
Guest
These are only two possibilities amongst millions of women.
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thewanderer
Guest
Yeah… I was kind of wondering the same thing. Why in the world does wearing high heels and makeup mean you are more likely to be promiscuous? Or being subdued more likely to make you a virgin for that matter. Just because one is outgoing doesn’t mean they are more promiscuous.
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edwest2
Guest
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