First Communion - Big deal or no?

[MommyofFive]

Nearly four years ago, we moved to a new town. The new city is NOT where we wanted to go but the job called (ironically, in the Catholic church). We left behind a vibrant church that recognized the importance of the Catholic school. But admittedly, we were not as involved in the “behind-the-scenes” business of the parish as we are here so that may be a factor. This new church is huge (by our diocese standards): 3500 families, 12,000 people, 60-70% Hispanic, 30-40% Anglo. Dynamic Hispanic youth programs. Abysmal Anglo youth programs (a new director just started 2 weeks ago…so here’s hoping).

At our previous parish, our son had is 1st Communion. It was beautiful. A special Mass was set aside on two different weekend afternoons (one parish, two churches). Religious ed classes AND the Catholic school kids came together and celebrated their first Holy Eucharist together (about 30-50 kids each Mass). They sat together as one body, one class. The parents sat together as one community. Other family members then took up the rest of the church. The entire Mass, music, homily, etc., was centered around those kids and their first encounter with Christ. During Communion, each child went up with their parents to receive Christ. It was a beautiful, Holy, quiet, prayerful Mass…and I was moved to tears.

Fast forward to my first encounter with 1st Communion at the new parish. Significantly larger parish. No special Mass for the kids. 1st Communion was spread out over NINE Masses (5 English, 4 Spanish). At the Mass I attended (the popular mid-morning one) there were only about 6 kids. No parent involvement. The only acknowledgement that the kids were even there came from the priest who said, “hello,” and then the fact they went first during Communion. Since then (this was two years ago), we’ve have dropped an English Mass. This year, my daughter will be having her 1st Communion…spread out over EIGHT Masses (4 English, 4 Spanish). There is no set “coming together” of nationalities, classes, schools, etc. When I approached the priest, the answers I received were: “Don’t know why or when we changed,” “Needs to be in regular Mass settings,” “Focus is the Eucharist, not the kids,” “Can’t add more special Masses due to lack of priests,” etc. He and his stewardship director even blamed poor parenting…those who never see the inside of the Cathedral except for baptism, 1st Communion, Confirmation, a wedding, and a funeral.

I’ve run in to so much negativity at this Cathedral since we moved here that I feel we are moving backwards in our Faith. While we are going to do everything we can to impose upon our daughter our fervent belief in the Holy Eucharist, I worry that the Cathedral is just fueling the flames of the “punching-the-clock” attitude so many have…they aren’t making 1st Communion a “big deal.” No, we don’t need flashing lights, freakishly loud music, or anything like that, however I’m concerned that somehow, the kids are not getting what they deserve. It’s just another Sunday in a pretty dress or new suit here. There’s no focus in my opinion. While a separate Mass or two may not be feasible (I’ve seen other parishes have their 1st Communions during a regular Mass), the celebration should not be tamped down…our parish as a whole needs to be excited for these kids, celebrate their 1st meeting with Christ, re-investigate our own relationship with Christ. :bighanky: I’ve been near tears about this all day long and feel like I’m hitting a brick wall…:banghead:

Am I over reacting? Thoughts?

 

[PatriceA]

I don’t understand the trend myself, and I don’t think its based on any ethnicity issues either. I think its based more on the size of the parish. There are a few much, much larger parishes down the road from me that just started this trend in first communions. Parents choose which mass, any mass on the schedule, that they want to attend and have their children receive their first communion. They are even discouraged from having the traditional first communion suit or dress for the children, just regular mass clothes.

Maybe someone else has some better insight into why this trend is taking place, but I’m not a fan. When DD received her first communion a few years ago, it was a special mass with the parish school kids and the CCD kids combined. It was beautiful.

BUT, the reason you did receive, that parents are only coming to church when their children are set to receive a sacrament is true. There were even families that sent their children to the parish school that were not bashful about telling everyone about their lack of mass attendence. Some joked that we’d see them again when it was time for confirmation. Its very troubling.

 

[Joannm]

This was the topic of my dissertation so perhaps I can answer briefly. I preceed it by saying that at my parish we do First Communions the way that you are used to experiencing it. HOWEVER, that often comes with problems. Increasingly, especially among lukewarm Catholics or non-practicing, First Communion becomes an “event” that in a sense is completely removed from someting sacred. In a way it becomes an excuse for a party. Many of these kids never see the inside of a church and we don’t see them again until Confirmation. First Communion becomes a commodity that is owed the children.

I can’t tell you the problems we have had with parents telling us how they want their child’s first communion celebrated, and they are demanding it. We have had kids show up in gowns that must cost several hundred dollars, they get their hair and make up (yes make up on 8 year olds) professionally done. Some even have shown up in limos. Some parishes focus so much on the children that Jesus seems to be just an afterthought.

By having First Communions in the midst of the regular Sunday assembly, much of the “consumeristic” aspects of the day are done away with and the focus can be on the reception of Jesus in the Eucharist.

I think what is needed is a balance between the two types of First Communion celebrations. We offer both options…Saturday with the class or a Sunday Mass. I can tell you that those who choose the Sunday Mass are usually very faith filled who desire to have their child receive First Communion amongh those people that they regularly worship with. The kids still get dressed up and come forward first to receive with their family.

 

[Phemie]

I’ve experienced both ways with my children. I will take the reception at any Sunday Mass when the child is ready over the pageantry of the traditional way that I did it.

In the parish where we were when DD made hers, we were responsible for preparing our own children for this sacrament. When we had finished, the child was interviewed and if, in Fr.'s opinion, he/she was ready the parents chose when this was going to happen. We had first communicants at most Sunday Masses for 2 months straight. The pastor was a friend and offered to come celebrate Mass in our home and have DD receive then. While I agreed to that back then, I wouldn’t chose that option again because of the strong symbolism of joining the community at Communion for the first time.

The boys, OTOH, received with their class in one big celebration – one during the week, the other on Sunday morning. To tell the truth, I recall little of those celebrations.

I watched this year as the children in my parish, for the first time in 10 years, received as a class: sitting together, etc. There were only 10 kids and it was a zoo. More emphasis on the dress and the pictures than on receiving Jesus for the first time.

I think the ideal is for the children to receive at their parish’s regular Sunday Mass, attending and sitting with their parents and going to receive with their family. That keeps the focus on the family, the primary place for catechesis. Whether they do it over many Sundays or everybody is there for the one Sunday doesn’t matter, as long as it’s acknowledged that there are first communicants at that Mass.

 

[SMHW]

I’ve grown up and been part of parishes where the size you mention would be considered a smaller large parish or a largish medium sized parish so my view point may be skewed. My current parish is slightly smaller than yours but there are plenty of nearby parishes that are larger. We have one priest and eight deacons. (We get a lot of fill-in priests from the seminary.) We don’t have the language divide you do. While we have plenty of Spanish speakers in our parish but almost everyone grew up speaking English. We may have an older population than you do so the number of First Communicants may be less.

My parish chooses to have one First Communion Mass on Saturday morning and all the other children make their First Communions at the regularly scheduled Masses. We have a larger number of children make their First Communions at Sunday (or Saturday evening) Masses. More like about 20. And they are all part of the entrance procession. and take front row seats. (My Church has the sanctuary in the middle so there are seats 360 degrees around it.) The families sit in the first few rows behind the children.

First Communion is definitely a big deal in our parish. But it is because we have a very dedicated (lay) sacramental prep team who works very hard to make First Communion special. We also get a lot of parental help and support. The Children’s choirs are usually scheduled to sing at those Masses (normally with the adult or youth choirs to assist them.)

My guess is that your parish has forgotten that sacraments (and I don’t just mean First Communions) are of benefit to the whole parish, not just for the children. In fact if you are only concerned about the children missing out on having a special day, then that is a problem with you. What I see as a potential problem with your parish is that the children are not getting the opportunity to be witnesses to the rest of the parishioners about how great a gift the Eucharist is to everyone.

 

[MommyofFive]

My guess is that your parish has forgotten that sacraments (and I don’t just mean First Communions) are of benefit to the whole parish, not just for the children. In fact if you are only concerned about the children missing out on having a special day, then that is a problem with you. What I see as a potential problem with your parish is that the children are not getting the opportunity to be witnesses to the rest of the parishioners about how great a gift the Eucharist is to everyone.

Wow. That is a bit harsh…but thankfully, not true. I’m not only concerned with the children missing out on having a special day. I am concerned with exactly what the rest of your statement is. What I witnessed the first time I saw 1st Communion here had nothing to do with pomp and circumstance. It was the nonchalance with which it was performed. Funerals, weddings, Confirmation…those are all done wonderfully by this parish. Baptisms, done during regular Sunday Masses, are thoroughly integrated throughout the entire Mass on a somewhat better level than 1st Communion.

Allowing the kids/parents to pick and choose what regular Sunday Mass they want to attend seems to negate the common theme that I keep hearing from everyone: COMMUNITY. Embracing the Eucharist for the first time as a class is, in my opinion, powerful; the class being presented to Christ together WITH the rest of the community…not haphazardly scattered here and there. The focus should be The Holy Eucharist, the kids, and their first meeting. My son’s priest would not allow cameras during Mass (a move which I applauded)…the Mass was completely focused, prayerful, and Holy. No zoo. And we had 30-50 kids at each of the two 1st Communion Masses and we didn’t have that parishioner (or two…or five), constantly checking their watch and mumbling about this “interrupting” their personal Mass time.

I’m slowly coming to the realization that I’m pretty lonely in my position on this. I’m probably not coming across like I intend…sounding selfish…when my intentions have nothing to do with how my daughter will look in a dress to the rest of the congregation, whether it’s on a day that I want, how it will “look” to everyone else to see a whole gaggle of kids together dressed impressively. My intentions were purely prayerful. Ah well. Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I’ve got some thinking to do.

 

[SMHW]

Wow. That is a bit harsh…but thankfully, not true. I’m not only concerned with the children missing out on having a special day. I am concerned with exactly what the rest of your statement is.

Don’t worry! I didn’t really think you felt that way. I was saying that for contrasting emphasis.

Allowing the kids/parents to pick and choose what regular Sunday Mass they want to attend seems to negate the common theme that I keep hearing from everyone: COMMUNITY.

I guess the issue is which community? The community of kids? The community of the family? Or the community of the parish?

Embracing the Eucharist for the first time as a class is, in my opinion, powerful; the class being presented to Christ together WITH the rest of the community…not haphazardly scattered here and there.

See I like having First Communions at Sunday Masses because I think this can be accomplished at a Sunday Mass. The community of kids aspect can be combined with the kids being recognized for their part in a greater community. That way there is emphasis on the kids but not TOO much.

I’m slowly coming to the realization that I’m pretty lonely in my position on this. I’m probably not coming across like I intend…sounding selfish…when my intentions have nothing to do with how my daughter will look in a dress to the rest of the congregation, whether it’s on a day that I want, how it will “look” to everyone else to see a whole gaggle of kids together dressed impressively. My intentions were purely prayerful. Ah well. Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. I’ve got some thinking to do.

I think what is happening is that you are suffering from the disillusionment of your parish staff. So many families see First Communion as a photo op and graduation from parish involvement. That can wear on priests, DREs, religious instruction teachers, etc. Even in my parish which does emphasize First Communions (or so I think) the staff often bemoans the fact that families stop coming to Mass after their child makes First Communion. Your parish is trying to de-emphasize the “pageantry” (for lack of a better word) of First Communion so that it is seen as a beginning rather than a once in a life time moment.

It seems that what is missing is your parish’s sense of delight at having new members of the community able to receive. I don’t know how you can get that back. But I don’t think that having smaller numbers of children receiving First Communion at various Masses was how it was lost.

 

[TheMc]

The entire Mass, music, homily, etc., was centered around those kids and their first encounter with Christ.
…
When I approached the priest, the answers I received were: …" “Focus is the Eucharist, not the kids”
…
Am I over reacting? Thoughts?

Frankly, Yeah. I think you’re over reacting. Um…your new priest is right. Focus is the Eucharist, not the kids The way it was done at your old parish seems problematic. The focus shouldn’t be on the kids. It should be on Christ.

At our Cathedral Parish, my brother received first communion this year. There wasn’t much special. The kids processed in, sat in the front pew(s), and recieved first, under both species, directly from Bishop (as opposed to the normal way: one half of the church receives from bishop, half from Msgr). Other than a few low-key photo-ops after, it was a “normal” mass with Bishop. The 7 kids processed in, received first, processed out, and took a picture or two with Bishop and Msgr, Cake and coffee in the narthex, and everybody goes home.

 

[JHow]

I can think of at least one practical reason why a parish might want a separate mass for the kids recieving communion: all the extended family that shows up. When you start counting up the children (at least 100 in our parish this year) plus siblings, parents, grand parents, aunts, uncles, etc. You can have a lot of people coming to your parish at one time, many of whom don’t regularly come (out of towners, for example).

Our parish had two special masses (split by child’s last name) that included the school and the CCD children.

I say “special” because they were specifically intended for 1st communion, but obviously anyone could come.

 

[puzzleannie]

the debate is beginning early this year

the preferred method of conferring sacraments of initiation is in the context of the regular Sunday celebration of the parish.

having separate celebrations for first communion, confirmation, and baptism is a concession to logistics, and caving on the part of directors and pastors to the negative criticism of parents and parishioners. I too have caved in so for the first time we will have separate Saturday afternoon celebrations this year by class (too big a group for one Mass, there would be no room for anyone other than parents). My reasons are not only the flak we get from parishioners when their own personal private seating with their name engrave on it is pre-empted by first communicants. The sad fact is that the parents bringing the child to the sacrament in the context of their regular Sunday Mass, which is what is supposed to happen, gets lost because the parents have not been attending Mass and do not receive communion, usually because of irregular marriage situations and/or habitual disobedience to the third commandment. The other sad fact is that what is supposed to be a joyful celebration and welcoming the first communicants into the assembly has become rather an occasion for hurt feelings such as those described by OP. The main reason for this however is not the reverence for the sacrament she shows, and which is lacking in most families, it is that at Sunday Mass video recorders and cameras are not allowed.

rant over
you may now return to your regularly scheduled program

 

[Joannm]

the debate is beginning early this year

the preferred method of conferring sacraments of initiation is in the context of the regular Sunday celebration of the parish.

having separate celebrations for first communion, confirmation, and baptism is a concession to logistics, and caving on the part of directors and pastors to the negative criticism of parents and parishioners. I too have caved in so for the first time we will have separate Saturday afternoon celebrations this year by class (too big a group for one Mass, there would be no room for anyone other than parents). My reasons are not only the flak we get from parishioners when their own personal private seating with their name engrave on it is pre-empted by first communicants. The sad fact is that the parents bringing the child to the sacrament in the context of their regular Sunday Mass, which is what is supposed to happen, gets lost because the parents have not been attending Mass and do not receive communion, usually because of irregular marriage situations and/or habitual disobedience to the third commandment. The other sad fact is that what is supposed to be a joyful celebration and welcoming the first communicants into the assembly has become rather an occasion for hurt feelings such as those described by OP. The main reason for this however is not the reverence for the sacrament she shows, and which is lacking in most families, it is that at Sunday Mass video recorders and cameras are not allowed.

rant over
you may now return to your regularly scheduled program

The parish where my friend is new pastor is returning to the Saturday morning class model for the reasons you spoke of. He also feels it is easier to get it over with all at once or with just two masses instead of dividing the kids up between 7 Sunday masses. Many of the families don’t come to SUnday mass weekly anyway and are a bit of a disruption. He knows I disagree, but it isn’t my parish.

But as I said we do the Saturday morning thing too with a few kids at SUnday Mass. Yet we never knew the SUnday model and with over 200 kids receiving First COmmunion the scheduling makes it a bit difficult to have them spread out over several weeks of Sunday Masses.

 

[PatriceA]

Frankly, Yeah. I think you’re over reacting. Um…your new priest is right. Focus is the Eucharist, not the kids The way it was done at your old parish seems problematic. The focus shouldn’t be on the kids. It should be on Christ.

At our Cathedral Parish, my brother received first communion this year. There wasn’t much special. The kids processed in, sat in the front pew(s), and recieved first, under both species, directly from Bishop (as opposed to the normal way: one half of the church receives from bishop, half from Msgr). Other than a few low-key photo-ops after, it was a “normal” mass with Bishop. The 7 kids processed in, received first, processed out, and took a picture or two with Bishop and Msgr, Cake and coffee in the narthex, and everybody goes home.

Still, your Cahtedral Parish already had the “special” in the day because you had the Bishop presiding. What about parishes where there isn’t any difference in the mass, no mention of any of the children receiving their first communion, no photo ops with the Bishop or the priest.

I understand the need to rein in on some of the way over the top First Communion masses, but IMO it is just as bad to swing the trend to the vary far opposite end of the spectrum and have little to nothing to mark the special occasion.

 

[puzzleannie]

Th
But as I said we do the Saturday morning thing too with a few kids at SUnday Mass. Yet we never knew the SUnday model and with over 200 kids receiving First COmmunion the scheduling makes it a bit difficult to have them spread out over several weeks of Sunday Masses.

remember my experience as Catholic child, Catholic school parent and grandparent, catechist and DRE spans 60 years.
I have come to accept some truths:
what I remember as a 2nd or 3rd grader, or from my children’s RE at that age, does not equate to infallible Church teaching or practice.
Men in the Church write the rules. Women in the Church by and large implement them and impart them to the faithful, including and especially to children and their parents.
The men who write the rules seldom understand what is entailed in the simple logistics of applying the rules in the real world.
The “real world” of the Church is messy.
Think of canon law as a spandex garment, and the Church as a tubby lady trying to get into it, lots of bulges that keep stretching the garment and bulging out the edges.
DREs try to push that flab back inside but it is a loosing battle.

I fully understand, accept, endorse, buy into the “change” (which is really less than 100 years old) from children making 1st communion en masse as a class in 2nd grade, to children being brought to first communion by and with their parents in the context of Sunday Mass. Remember I lived through it, and have experience OP’s trauma in not one but several parishes and dioceses. It was not pretty. But I live, work and catechize children and their parents in the real world and the lovely model is just not working. I put that down in part to my failure and the failure of my colleagues and our pastors to fully catechize the parents.

The next logical question would be, “well why have you failed to properly catechise parents?”
Answer: I am not allowed to use a gun, even tho this is Texas.

some history for those who do not understand the history and reason for “the change”. 100 years ago mas o menos Pope St. Pius X, great champion of children’s rights to the sacraments, lowered the age of first communion from mid-teen to “age of reason”, 7 or 8 years old. His reasons are well documented and led to the model most of us remember of classes of 2nd graders in parochial schools (remember them? mandated by the bishops? now largely abandoned by those bishops?) receiving on Mass at the early Mass on Sunday (so they would not faint from hunger). Previously they had received first communion and confirmation at the end of their former schooling and entry into working life, which for workers or peasants could be as young as 9 or 10, up to late teens. As a class, with anyone of any age in that stage of life.

As we spandex-tuggers struggled to implement the liturgical changes wrought after V2 we dutifully including the new emphasis on the importance of the initiation sacraments in the faith life of the individuals as a process of continuing conversion, which for a child is in the context of the lived faith life of the family (just as is his baptism), rather than as an automatic rite of passage at a specified date and time.

 

[CB_Catholic]

The parish where my friend is new pastor is returning to the Saturday morning class model for the reasons you spoke of. He also feels it is easier to get it over with all at once or with just two masses instead of dividing the kids up between 7 Sunday masses. Many of the families don’t come to SUnday mass weekly anyway and are a bit of a disruption. He knows I disagree, but it isn’t my parish.

But as I said we do the Saturday morning thing too with a few kids at SUnday Mass. Yet we never knew the SUnday model and with over 200 kids receiving First COmmunion the scheduling makes it a bit difficult to have them spread out over several weeks of Sunday Masses.

It doesn’t seem to be too difficult in my parish–we’ve done it this way as long as I’ve been a member there. There is a regularly scheduled Sat. morning First Communion Mass, but many choose to have their children receive at the regular Sunday Mass–the choice is up to them. I really like it when they receive at Sunday Mass because the parish is involved. And afterwards many parishoners will make it a point to approach the children and their families and offer their congratulations, a factor which helps the children appreciate the fact they are part of a larger community. It also helps to cut down on the feeling of anonymity that can be experienced in a large parish such as mine–you get to kniow a few more people. One family in our parish has seven children, most of them were baptized at the regular Sunday Masses, and the ones old enough have received their First Communion at the Sunday Mass. I feel a connection to them–I say to myself “Hey, I remember when that kid was baptized, and now he’s receiving his First Communion already”. I don’t know, it just feels more special.

If I had to do it all over again, my kids would have received their First Communion at the regular Sunday Mass.

 

[puzzleannie]

It

If I had to do it all over again, my kids would have received their First Communion at the regular Sunday Mass.

our families will also have this option, or their child may choose to receive with his class in a Saturday afternoon celebration.
this places a burden on our already over-worked priest but whatever it takes. If I could install radio chips to track them I would like to do it so I could know which children in each group will continue attending Sunday Mass after first communion.

 

[Kat127]

I think I prefer having the kids just go up with their parents. I remember sitting in the pews for years while my family had Communion. I was so excited when I finally got to go forward with them. I felt like I was finally participating and I felt so “grown-up.” I certainly felt like I was part of the community.

I got a new dress for Mass and my family went out for breakfast that Sunday. That was it. I didn’t get presents, I didn’t get a party…you want to know what I remember? The Eucharist.

I remember receiving the first time. I remember who the priest was, I remember how nervous I was, I remember how I felt afterwards. The experience stuck with me for weeks.

I tried talking to my brother’s daughter about her first communion. All she wanted to talk about was what presents she got, what her friends were wearing, the funny things people said. She’s a sweet child, very smart, rather religious for her age but I just got the feeling she missed the point.

I’m not saying this is true for everyone. But I think it would be easier for the kids to keep their focus if they didn’t have all the extras to distract them.

Just my two-cents.

 

[Joannm]

It doesn’t seem to be too difficult in my parish–we’ve done it this way as long as I’ve been a member there. There is a regularly scheduled Sat. morning First Communion Mass, but many choose to have their children receive at the regular Sunday Mass–the choice is up to them. I really like it when they receive at Sunday Mass because the parish is involved. And afterwards many parishoners will make it a point to approach the children and their families and offer their congratulations, a factor which helps the children appreciate the fact they are part of a larger community. It also helps to cut down on the feeling of anonymity that can be experienced in a large parish such as mine–you get to kniow a few more people. One family in our parish has seven children, most of them were baptized at the regular Sunday Masses, and the ones old enough have received their First Communion at the Sunday Mass. I feel a connection to them–I say to myself “Hey, I remember when that kid was baptized, and now he’s receiving his First Communion already”. I don’t know, it just feels more special.

If I had to do it all over again, my kids would have received their First Communion at the regular Sunday Mass.

I am happy to hear there are no problems with having the kids receive FHC at SUnday Mass. As I stated, we are just beginning to do it, this is only our third year. Most still opt for the Saturday morning extravaganza.

 

[SMHW]

our families will also have this option, or their child may choose to receive with his class in a Saturday afternoon celebration.
this places a burden on our already over-worked priest but whatever it takes. If I could install radio chips to track them I would like to do it so I could know which children in each group will continue attending Sunday Mass after first communion.

As I said earlier, my parish has been giving the option to chose between extra Saturday Masses and receiving at the regular Sunday Masses. They’ve done this for years. I think this year they may have added a second First Communion “only” Mass. Yeah, it’s a lot of work for the staff but we manage to get it over with in one weekend so the staff can take a breather. (Or was it that they added a second weekend and only one extra Mass on Saturdays? Whatever.)

In any case, it makes the parents happy. Families have to sign up for their Mass of choice. First come, first choice.

 

[DairyWife]

In our archdiocese, the archbishop’s guidelines for celebrating sacraments with children indicate that reception of the sacraments should take place during the regularly scheduled weekend masses. They are joining with the parish community in the reception of the Eucharist–the first of many, we hope; and thus this should be celebrated with the entire parish. Our 1st Communicants sit with their parents. When it is time to receive Christ, they approach our priest with Mom and Dad. All three receive followed by the next family. The rest of the parish follows after the 1st Communicants and their parents.

I am the DRE for my parish. Due to Easter falling at the end of April next year and one of our priests being out of town, we had planned to celebrate First Communion on Mother’s Day. I expected some push back on this, but nothing like what I got. The main concern of these parents was that their guests would not be able to spend the entire day with their child. They would likely need to leave to visit their mothers. One mother wanted her daughter to feel like a “princess” for the day. Many parents out there just don’t get it. They were willing to bring in a subsitute priest or have First Communion during Lent if that meant no interference with their celebrations at home. This was very upsetting to me. This is a big event in the life of a parish not just that child’s life, yet they didn’t care if our parish’s Father was even present. We compromised and are celebrating First Communion towards the end of May, 2 weeks after religious education classes have finished for the year. My 2nd grade teacher would have preferred to have it during Lent so that she would be able to find out what the students’ favorite gift was at their next class! The appropriateness of when to celebrate the sacrament did not seem to be an issue to her.

 

[Joannm]

In our archdiocese, the archbishop’s guidelines for celebrating sacraments with children indicate that reception of the sacraments should take place during the regularly scheduled weekend masses. They are joining with the parish community in the reception of the Eucharist–the first of many, we hope; and thus this should be celebrated with the entire parish. Our 1st Communicants sit with their parents. When it is time to receive Christ, they approach our priest with Mom and Dad. All three receive followed by the next family. The rest of the parish follows after the 1st Communicants and their parents.

I am the DRE for my parish. Due to Easter falling at the end of April next year and one of our priests being out of town, we had planned to celebrate First Communion on Mother’s Day. I expected some push back on this, but nothing like what I got. The main concern of these parents was that their guests would not be able to spend the entire day with their child. They would likely need to leave to visit their mothers. One mother wanted her daughter to feel like a “princess” for the day. Many parents out there just don’t get it. They were willing to bring in a subsitute priest or have First Communion during Lent if that meant no interference with their celebrations at home. This was very upsetting to me. This is a big event in the life of a parish not just that child’s life, yet they didn’t care if our parish’s Father was even present. We compromised and are celebrating First Communion towards the end of May, 2 weeks after religious education classes have finished for the year. My 2nd grade teacher would have preferred to have it during Lent so that she would be able to find out what the students’ favorite gift was at their next class! The appropriateness of when to celebrate the sacrament did not seem to be an issue to her.

As part of my research for my dissertation I conducted a survey of 2nd grade parents. One of the questions was “why do you want your child to receive FHC.” I was shocked at the number of people who said simply “because we are Catholic.” Some said for cultural reasons and one said that she didn’t believe that the Eucharist was Jesus but that the grandparents insisted and offered a nice “gift” to the child." At least a few said that it was because they wanted their child to receive Jesus and that the sacrament was important to their faith. Many of the parents said they don’t go to Mass weekly or even monthly.