First communion confession

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franklinstower

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My daughter is getting ready for first communion. We just recently told her that she would need to go into confession with the priest before doing so. That is when we realized that not being raised Catholic we have no idea how to prepare her for this. She is afraid to do it and I dont know what to tell her to prepare.

How specific is her confession to be? What is expected of her at this age?

Please help, we want to do right by her but are in need of guidance.
 
Ask the priest or deacon in your parish to talk to the parents about how you all can help your children to prepare for their first confession. The teachers will tell the kids in time what to do and say…

Do something nice and simple together after your daughter’s first confession like buying or picking some flowers for the virgin Mary, Mother of God and bring them to church the next time you go.
 
Right. Surely she has been enrolled in Communion prep and Reconciliation prep already? Or is this 2 years down the road?
 
For me, at my old parish, we did First Reconciliation in, say, first grade, and then First Communion in Second Grade.

For my son, at our current small/poor/rural parish, he did First Reconciliation in second grade, and then a week or two later, did First Communion. Previous years in this parish, both First Reconciliation and First Communion were rolled into the same class, but were not given until third grade.

So if your parish is doing a combined class, that’s one thing. But First Reconciliation is going to be a prerequisite before you can take First Communion. Baptism is another prerequisite that I presume has already been taken care of?
 
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midori said:
For me, at my old parish, we did First Reconciliation in, say, first grade, and then First Communion in Second Grade.
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Really? Wow…

So, they were asserting that you were sufficiently conscious of sin to warrant confession, but not sufficiently conscious of the Real Presence to warrant reception of the Eucharist?!? 😮
 
I’ve seen that several parishes require one year of CCE/Sunday School before they even consider putting them in a sacrament class.
 
midori said:
I’ve seen that several parishes require one year of CCE/Sunday School before they even consider putting them in a sacrament class.
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Fair enough, but… arbitrarily withholding participation in the Eucharist for a year, when participation in Reconciliation has already occurred? 😦
 
I was in second grade during my first confession. Kid usually have some preparation in class. At that age I was confessing being mean to my brother and sister, lies I told, disobeying or being rude to my parents, just to give some examples.

As to being specific, something like “I lied five times” is as specific as need be. You don’t need to explain circumstances or try justifying why. If the priest needs more info he will ask. If you can’t think of an exact number, an estimate, or saying “many”, of “about once a week/day” etc has sufficed in my confessions. It’s not something to overthink.
 
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Sounds like a good poll! 🙂 “How is the sacraments schedule set up in your parish…?”

The thing I liked about separating them was that we made a big deal about First Confession, and then a big deal about First Communion.

With my son’s class, they didn’t even have a date set for First Confession until two months ahead of time-- and then they changed it a few weeks out. I was frustrated, because I was already booked for a class hundreds of miles away the next day. It was just thrown together like an afterthought. There were five kids in the First Confession class, and there might have been another parent, but I don’t think so. One or two kids didn’t even show up for it, and presumably had to have their First Confessions in private sometime between that day and the First Communion day. Most of the other kids’ families just dropped them off like for a regular day of Sunday School. My kid was wearing a shirt and tie, but the other kids were wearing street clothes. But you better believe everyone was dressed up a month later in their fancy First Communion clothes, and everybody showed up on time, and everybody made sure all their families were in full attendance that day! 😉

So I think that was the thing that frustrated me… it was treated like a “let’s get this out of the way so we can get on to the next sacrament”, and I don’t think that was very fair.
 
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Thanks everyone. I have put in a call to the priest. My question is more around the topic of how in depth the confession ought to be. It seems there could easily be levels to this that are developmentally inappropriate.

I plan to teach my daughter a very involved form of self examination but in no way feel it is appropriate at this age so then the question is how much is appropriate? followed by what does the priest expect in this situation?

To top that off-- in discussion with my daughter she does not feel safe revealing her heart and soul to our priest so the question of how much info is expected is quite important.
 
If your parish does not offer Formed.org, it is only $10 per month. They have excellent resources to prepare kids for confession.

The video under "Study > Sacramental Prep > Forgiven > Video #5 “For Children, how to make a good confession” comes with an excellent examin of children download.
 
Is there no preparatory class in your parish for First Reconciliation and First Communion?

If your child does not feel safe revealing her heart to the priest, then the correct way to address that is not to find an out whereby she is not expected to, but rather to explore why she does not feel safe and determine if those are issues you can help her overcome.
 
franklinstower said:
My daughter is getting ready for first communion. We just recently told her that she would need to go into confession with the priest before doing so. That is when we realized that not being raised Catholic we have no idea how to prepare her for this. She is afraid to do it and I dont know what to tell her to prepare.

How specific is her confession to be? What is expected of her at this age?

Please help, we want to do right by her but are in need of guidance.
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Go to FORMED.org and sign up for a free 1 week trial (unless your parish has a subscription).

Once you do, watch at least the two episodes from the FORGIVEN series on confession for kids.

These two do not have episode numbers, but they are for kids receiving their first confession. One is for the kids to watch (with you) and the other is just for you.

Short cuts to the two episodes I highly recommend are here:
The videos are very good, so I pray you use them

God Bless

P.S. - here are trailers to the FORGIVEN series: Lighthouse | Forgiven - Lighthouse Catholic Media
 
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As far as I can tell NO ONE in this thread has mentioned looking for an out…
 
To everyone. Yes there are classes available. She is taking classes both at her parish and at her Catholic school. I have put a call into our priest and to the educational director but have not yet received replies.

My approach with things like this is to get the broadest possible perspective from as many people as possible for making informed decisions. For me this includes not only information from her educational directors but also from the average person and their experiences.

In this thread I am hoping to hear the experiences from parents as to what ended up on your child’s confession. The more of this I hear the more I can get a gauge for what is developmentally appropriate for a second grader. I do not want her to be over or under conscious of sin in her life. Most of what she goes through would best be classed as bumps in the road natural to being the age she is. I am looking more to get a feel for the broader experience of this sacrament for children her age.

The more information and perspectives I can get the deeper my understanding will be and the better I can coach her through this and other confessions.
 
I’m sorry if you were offended by my comment, as I did not intend offense. I was concerned by this comment you made:
To top that off-- in discussion with my daughter she does not feel safe revealing her heart and soul to our priest so the question of how much info is expected is quite important.
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This suggested to me that you were looking for ways to console your daughter that she did not HAVE to reveal her heart and soul to the priest. I’ve worked with Confirmation candidates and even adults who have said that they struggle with telling embarrassing or very personal sins, and one thing that often comes up is that they were taught as children that they “only had to” say X or Y, rather than learning the purpose of Reconciliation and the role of the priest in the Confessional. That was why I suggested what I did.
 
No offence taken. Just needed clarification as our intent in not to get out of anything but to find ourselves within what is developmentally appropriate. What I need are examples from parents as to what confessions look like. You have to understand, we were not raised Catholic so this is brand new to us. My spiritual advisory is a monk and has no experience with Children. The level at which I have been directed to practice this sacrament would NOT be appropriate for a child so in this case my experience is a detriment rather than a help.

I need to know more about all of this before I can have a meaningful and productive conversation with my daughter about it.
 
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