First Communion Questions?

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OutinChgoburbs:
My daughter suggested earlier this month that I begin planning my elder granddaughter’s First Communion NOW, and I should start by ORDERING the dress and veil. She saw many lovely dresses and veils at several stores in the mall, some of them as low as $150. This granddaughter won’t make her First Communion until next year, and hasn’t even approached the idea of confession. Trust me, if I still have the girls next year, we will not be planning anything that elaborate.
(I am still repenting anything I might have done during my daughter’s early years to even suggest that this is what First Communion was.)
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Why are YOU financing the Granddaughter’s First Communion??

Hey if you find that every other girl is wearing Jr. Bride dresses, the good inexpensive ones can be found on e-bay. I got my daughter’s dress (with sleeves, I might add) for 60.00 including shipping and the veil. It actually is very pretty, a little more ornate than I would like, but it fit with the other girls. Women were paying $150.00 to $200.00 for their girls dresses.
Put “flowergirl” into the search and you will see tons of them. There is one seller called “Butterflyxc”. I think they are from overseas. That’s where my daughter’s dress came from. LOTS are with straps. I chose the more modest one. Even if you see one in a color on their site, click on it and they offer more colors in that style at the bottom of the auction.

Good Luck.
 
with all due respect parents and grandparents, the preparations for you child’s first communion began with baptism, continued as you taught him his prayers, accelerated when you began taking her to Mass, teaching her through your example how to behave, that Jesus is present, how to participate etc. You prepare them in the home by living a Catholic life and making Jesus present at home, in what JP2 called the “domestic church”.

You teach them the meaning of forgiveness and charity, and to do that you have to teach them the reality of sin and the harm it does, and the need for reconciliation. If your parish is run by new age loonies who do not stress confession before first communion, you prepare them and make sure they have regular opportunities for confession.
Bring them in jeans if you have to and go out to McDonald’s afterwards, if the party and clothes are taking center stage. Nobody can force you to jump on the merry-go-round.
 
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puzzleannie:
Bring them in jeans if you have to and go out to McDonald’s afterwards, if the party and clothes are taking center stage. Nobody can force you to jump on the merry-go-round.
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If you are bringing them in jeans, you are not stressing the importance of the occasion, that is, if they EVER dress up for any other occasion.

One can balance the celebration with the importance of the event itself. When it becomes a jeans and McDonalds thing, that’s a birthday or good reportcard event.

Anyone can go to Salvation Army and pick up a dress or nice slacks with a sweater. Payless sells cheap dress shoes. Dress them up and save to take them to a nice restaurant. It IS a big event!!! It’s not a wedding or prom but it is the biggest thing in a young Catholic’s life and should be treated as such.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
If you are bringing them in jeans, you are not stressing the importance of the occasion, that is, if they EVER dress up for any other occasion.

One can balance the celebration with the importance of the event itself. When it becomes a jeans and McDonalds thing, that’s a birthday or good reportcard event.

h.
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the only reason for jeans and Mcdonals is in a situation where the sacramental aspect has been entirely overshadowed by concern for what to wear and how to celebrate afterwards. I was of course using hyperbole. I am hosting a parent meeting on Sat and I guarantee the only questions I will get - even after I hand out the guidelines and explain them - will be about what to wear, the banner for the pew, photos and videos, can we rent the parish hall for the party. I will not get one question about: is Jesus really present in the Eucharist? How can I teach my child to be more reverent? How do explain the sacrament to non-Catholic family members? or anything having anything remotely to do with the profound spiritual experience their children are preparing for.
 
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puzzleannie:
the only reason for jeans and Mcdonals is in a situation where the sacramental aspect has been entirely overshadowed by concern for what to wear and how to celebrate afterwards. I was of course using hypebole.
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Oooops! I guess I’m just dull this morning!
You are correct!
 
I think the blue dress would be very pretty but possibly not for First Communion. She should wear white especially if that is the norm so as to keep everyone’s focus on Jesus, emphasize purity, and because it is traditional. Also, don’t make the mistake I made with my daughter --I ordered a rather elaborate dress wth intricate lace designs and lots of layers of tulle from a company that specializes in fancy clothes for kids…It was gorgeous and expensive and completely overwhelmed my daughter’s natural youthful beauty. So I returned it to the company and got a simpler one locally. Still beautiful but more suited to a child.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
I got my daughter’s dress (with sleeves, I might add) for 60.00 including shipping and the veil. It actually is very pretty, a little more ornate than I would like, but it fit with the other girls. Women were paying $150.00 to $200.00 for their girls dresses.
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I bought my daughters’ dresses a year in advance off the clearance rack. I got a really nice dress at Penney’s for $35.
 
Our priest does an extraordinary job with both Confession and First Communion. He puts just about equal emphasis on both. The children AND THE PARENTS are both prepared well. No pictures or videotaping are allowed during the First Communion Mass or the Reconciliation Service. Girls are told to wear white with veils or flowers in their hair for their First Communion. Tiaras are not encouraged but I’ve seen a few, along with some pretty flamboyant dresses. But thank goodness I’ve never seen Our Lady lit up and twirling atop a little girl’s head!!! Oh dear! I can’t even imagine!
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
Why are YOU financing the Granddaughter’s First Communion??
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Because I have custody of my granddaughters. I am not, however, budgeting for an epic event all centered around twirling Fatima statues in veils and junior brides outfits, trust me. I am certainly not planning on spending $150 for rainment, that’s for sure.
 
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puzzleannie:
the only reason for jeans and Mcdonals is in a situation where the sacramental aspect has been entirely overshadowed by concern for what to wear and how to celebrate afterwards. I was of course using hyperbole. I am hosting a parent meeting on Sat and I guarantee the only questions I will get - even after I hand out the guidelines and explain them - will be about what to wear, the banner for the pew, photos and videos, can we rent the parish hall for the party. I will not get one question about: is Jesus really present in the Eucharist? How can I teach my child to be more reverent? How do explain the sacrament to non-Catholic family members? or anything having anything remotely to do with the profound spiritual experience their children are preparing for.
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And let us not forget the current thread elsewhere about a dad who was taking photos of his son as he made his first confession…at a distance, but still, with a telephoto lens…???
 
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OutinChgoburbs:
And let us not forget the current thread elsewhere about a dad who was taking photos of his son as he made his first confession…at a distance, but still, with a telephoto lens…???
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From the look of the LCD screen, there was some good zoomage.😃
 
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axolotl:
From the look of the LCD screen, there was some good zoomage.😃
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So…Son…I see you stole from the cookie-jar…now, see here, God may have forgiven you, but you’re grounded 😃 !

Anna x
 
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OutinChgoburbs:
Because I have custody of my granddaughters. I am not, however, budgeting for an epic event all centered around twirling Fatima statues in veils and junior brides outfits, trust me. I am certainly not planning on spending $150 for rainment, that’s for sure.
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I’m sorry, I thought the mom was putting it on you. My Aunt did that with one of her baby’s Baptisms. She insisted that my Grandmother finance it.

Good for you. Make it pretty, not a prom!
 
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axolotl:
I bought my daughters’ dresses a year in advance off the clearance rack. I got a really nice dress at Penney’s for $35.
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Actually, with the price of the veil, the 60.00 was about the same as yours.

Most veils in our area are around 25.00. My daughter’s is a thin circle of rosebuds with the veiling from the back. She looked gorgeous.

We didn’t take her to a beauty shop, we curled her knee length hair in rollers that she slept in, just like I did as a kid. She actually had no say at all in what she wore. She even wore her regular Sunday white shoes. They asked that we put her into tights, that worked for me.

Our focus was on receiving Jesus, not the party. We took her out to dinner in her outfit then had a party about a month later in Cleveland. Just family.

Friends of ours rented a hall with a sit down dinner. OH my!
 
since this thread is still active, and because of its title, may I offer some further advice to parents:

please practice at home with a wineglass that is somewhat heavy and feels like a chalice, and real wine, preferable red, dry, tart, nothing sweet, so your child knows what it tastes like, knows how to handle the cup, knows how to take just a sip, not a slurp.
eeeeewwww is not the proper response for receiving the precious Blood of Christ.
 
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puzzleannie:
since this thread is still active, and because of its title, may I offer some further advice to parents:

please practice at home with a wineglass that is somewhat heavy and feels like a chalice, and real wine, preferable red, dry, tart, nothing sweet, so your child knows what it tastes like, knows how to handle the cup, knows how to take just a sip, not a slurp.
eeeeewwww is not the proper response for receiving the precious Blood of Christ.
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Here it’s quite normal to give children a bit of (heavily diluted) wine with their Sunday Roast, or at special occassions, so we wouldn’t have that reaction generally-but even so, our parish let’s the children taste wine at school during their preperation (including the explanation of how the wine taste like wine but is now the blood of Christ), given your post I think that’s a good idea…I’d never given it any thought that a 7-year-old might never have tasted wine!

Anna x
 
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puzzleannie:
since this thread is still active, and because of its title, may I offer some further advice to parents:

please practice at home with a wineglass that is somewhat heavy and feels like a chalice, and real wine, preferable red, dry, tart, nothing sweet, so your child knows what it tastes like, knows how to handle the cup, knows how to take just a sip, not a slurp.
eeeeewwww is not the proper response for receiving the precious Blood of Christ.
Click to expand...
Thank God for intinction!

Actually, I was surprised that my “Yogurt, fruit and PB&J” child loved the taste. She told me that “Jesus could not possibly taste bad”.
She does have a problem with a dry host, but God helps her through it.
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):
We didn’t take her to a beauty shop, we curled her knee length hair in rollers that she slept in, just like I did as a kid. She actually had no say at all in what she wore. She even wore her regular Sunday white shoes. They asked that we put her into tights, that worked for me.

Our focus was on receiving Jesus, not the party. We took her out to dinner in her outfit then had a party about a month later in Cleveland. Just family.

Friends of ours rented a hall with a sit down dinner. OH my!
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We didn’t do the beauty shop, either. i did something with braids, and then the curling iron.

Looking back, it’s funny. She had a loose tooth, and it was really bothering her. The night before, we gone out to pizza (Augie’s on State and 82 in N Royalton) with John’s family, who had come in from New York and Philly. She was brought to tears trying to eat. Finally I had her dressed, and was curling her hair, and it came out. Mad dash for something so she doesn’t bleed down the front of her dress.

I bought the dress and socks. Gramma buys shoes and veil. I I “made” her buy my son’s baptism outfit-- she bought my nephew’s outfit, as well as a dress for his five year sister (who was baptised Christian Reform and was converted in the same ceremony her brother was baptised.)

I have a small party at home. My husband prepared a Chicken dish, and I cut up fruit, vegetables, cheese, and bought a cake from Giant Eagle. My MIL wanted us to do some sit down catered thing elsewhere, but I put my foot, something you do very carefully with her. She insisted I make reservations somewhere for my second daughter’s baptism. I said I would prefer a cake and sandwich tray at home. She said she’d help pay for a restaurant. So, I went along with it. She gave us $20. Thankfully, my mom made my dad foot the bill.
 
I always tell my First Communion parents to check out Burlington Coat Factory. I got my 2 older kids’ First Communion attire there. My son looked so handsome in his $29.99 suit–which he wore for Easter and Christmas too. My daughter’s dress and hairpiece was about $40. They both looked sweet and it didn’t break the bank.
 
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