First time attending a Roman Catholic Mass and I have some questions

  • Thread starter Thread starter MrBibbins
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You are certainly welcome to attend Mass. Until you are received into the church, then you can go for Communion. No one will (and should not) take offense because you do not to go up for Communion as I am sure you will not be alone in doing so. Just remember to stand, sit and kneel when others do during Mass.

Hopefully and someday, you will wish to speak with the parish priest about RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) so you can be received fully as a Catholic. My prayers are with you and all those inquiring about the Faith too.
 
i only wish to point out that to have a female priest is impossible as only male are considered the proper matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders.
Not in the Episcopal and other Protestant denominations. Now I agree that is true in the Catholic Church but a great deal of Protestant Churches have clergywomen. I don’t think that was the issue, I think it was the message. Because if it were, the Episcopal priest may or may not be allowed to be ordained in the Catholic faith as well.

I’m sorry to hear this as it sounds like you were doing well there for a time. You are more than welcome to attend Mass.

When it’s time for communion, I would recommend sitting on the end so you can simply move and allow people out and then slip back into your seat. Welcome! I hope you stay.
 
[edited]

MrBibbins, can I suggest that you get a couple of books about the Catholic Faith? I have one called “Reasons to Believe” by Scott Hahn (although it is geared towards Catholics explaining their beliefs to others you may find your questions answered) and “Signs of Life” also by Scott Hahn. The second book explains forty Catholic traditions and gives Scriptural reasons for them. He has also written books about the Mass, Our Lady and many other topics. He is a convert himself, he held the idea that Catholic beliefs were unScriptural and then gradually came to see that they were profoundly Scriptural. In “Reasons to Believe” he says that “short of just reading the Bible aloud for an hour - the Mass couldn’t get more Biblical”.

I hope that all this is helpful. I’ll be praying for you tomorrow.
 
The path to Rome is well worn! There are a LOT of converts here (I am one) who also attended their first Mass with similar questions. I wrote about this once in a piece I called In a strange land. There are a lot of other brief essays there that might be of interest too.

I know that you are just exploring at the moment, but you might also be interested in the background and stories of folks who decided to “swim the Tiber.” I publish a small database of convert bloggers, who tell their conversion stories and continuing journeys. There are also links there to other good sources plus a list of books by converts. For the most part, none of us ever expected we would end-up here!
 
Hello MrBibbins 🙂

I don’t feel as though I am in any position to answer your questions, however, I do understand where you are coming from. I, too, have felt that “pull” toward the Catholic Church for many years now. I was raised Baptist, have many many people in my family that have been called to minister, including an Aunt. I grew up unaware of the fact women ministers are an uncommon affair. It was simply not talked about in my family. I began questioning the fact that she was a minister and head of our church. I read the bible, pointed out specific scripture but no one would comment. Anywho, I have recently taken a giant leap of faith and followed my heart to start attending the Catholic Parish in my town. It’s hard to leave family and friends, but I feel that this is where I belong. This is my home. I come from an area where there are alot more baptists than catholics, so I will receive alot of ridicule and negativity. I feel as though this is my only option, not only for myself - to live my faith filled life to the max - but for my children and for their future. I am so happy that you are going forward with your desires and pray that you will have a joy filled experience. I know that I’ve only been attending mass for a short time, but I love it and it fits like a glove 🙂 The first time I attended i sat in the pew. I was so scared people were gonna point and stare but no one did. They smiled as they passed and said “peace be with you”. What a welcoming!!! Good luck in your journey and may your heart be so happy your face hurts from smiling so much.
 
The first time I went to Mass I was still in RCIA. And there is no pressure on anyone to convert. I think they would rather not have a convert than have a CINO.

I sat in the very last pew and this older gentleman was there (he’s an usher) so I told him (very quietly) that this was my very first time. He was wonderful! He pointed out every place we were at during the service and made me so comfortable. I usually still sit in the same last row even though I have been Catholic since Easter vigil 2008.
 
Thank you everyone for all the wonderful answers, I now feel much more comfortable with attending. I’ve been trying to understand the basis for much of the Church’s dogma/doctrines and have surprisingly (given the way my family taught me the Bible and their “disdain” for the RCC, I excpected to find nothing) found a lot of scriptural support. That being said, I still have many, many questions about some of the more “interesting” practices within the Church and am hopeful one of the two parishes around here have an RCIA program. I thank you all once again for the advice and prayers.
We welcome you and your questions to this forum! Let us know about your Mass expirence and if we can be of further assistance to you on your faith journey. 😉
 
suggestion
get in line to receive and when you arrive, smile at the priest/deacon, bow your head, and return to the pew.
 
Hi there!

I would consider your position very carefully…to go along to mass seems a really good idea as a way of expanding your horizons and knowledge of God, think carefully about what you have valued in your current church and remember your lead ppastor has only gone on holiday. be aware that in every church you will find a variety of interpretaions of faith and practice even in the catholic church (as the posts on this forum bear witness too.) If you become catholic you will be moving away from your current community for good. I think it is wise to talk to the preist in question about your concerns and perhaps to another episcopalian priest to gain a more indepth understanding of your own tradition, really check out carefully whether on balance you really need to move. Look at catholicism really carefully read the catechism especially and check you really can accept ALL of it, because if you convert you have to state that you can, to be quite honest I think a lot of work needs to be done before starting RCIA, including a lot of prayer. COnverting should not be done on a whim or as a knee jerk reaction.
Dont just read catholic apologists like scott hahn but also look at some comments on catholicism from within your own community. Go into this with your eyes wide open so that you can say with complete integrity that this is what you believe. Ubove all pray!!! If it seems right for you then go for it.
 
Thank you everyone for all the wonderful answers, I now feel much more comfortable with attending. I’ve been trying to understand the basis for much of the Church’s dogma/doctrines and have surprisingly (given the way my family taught me the Bible and their “disdain” for the RCC, I excpected to find nothing) found a lot of scriptural support. That being said, I still have many, many questions about some of the more “interesting” practices within the Church and am hopeful one of the two parishes around here have an RCIA program. I thank you all once again for the advice and prayers.
I left the Episcopal Church a few years ago, after having been an Episcopalian for 22 years. One of the best decisions I ever made.
 
Hello Mrbibbin, welcome to CAF.
I’m not good at giving advice so I’ll stick to what I know, prayer. I always enjoy seeing the Holy Spirit at work. I will be praying for you.

God bless

jesus g
 
Thought I would post a follow up

I enjoyed the service very much, everyone was quite friendly and it was all pretty familiar which I did not expect. The liturgy was very similar to that of the Episcopal parish I’ve been attending and we sang many of the same hyms. The sermon given by the Deacon was easily one of the best I’ve ever heard. There were some things though, that were offsetting to me, a noticeable chunk of people left after receiving communion and a steady flow of people shuffled out shortly after. This was odd, as I believe you should stay until the service has concluded. Is this common at RC Mass? Overall it was a great experience and I plan on attending, against the wishes of my family, next Sunday’s Mass. The RCIA classes start in September and I am hopeful that I will be able to attend them.

Thank you again for all the helpful advice and prayers, if only I could find such support among my family…
 
chunk of people left after receiving communion and a steady flow of people shuffled out shortly after. This was odd, as I believe you should stay until the service has concluded. Is this common at RC Mass?
After communion is the time when it is allowed to leave if you are in hurry and for some reason cannot stay until end of whole service. Of course it is better to stay until it has concluded.
 
It depends on the Mass. But you generally have two options. You may stay in your pew, and take that time to kneel (if there are kneelers, and hopefully there are) and contemplate the sacrament you’re witnessing. Take that time to decide that you too want to join the Church and the Lord’s Supper.

Or, you can take an active approach, and step up to the communion rail or ministers. Cross your hands over your chest visibly, and keep your mouth closed. This way, the minister will be completely aware that you do not intend to recieve communion. Typically, they will impose a blessing in its stead.

However, because of the presence of Eucharistic Ministers who have a varied level of theological training, as well as the differences emerging in the theology of our current priests, you may be offered communion despite these outward symbols of “I am not ready.”

In that case, you can either say, “I’m not ready for communion/I need to be baptized/Just a blessing, etc.” Whatever feels right. Or you can politely return to your seat after a simple bow (this can be just a nice head nod, so the minister doesn’t think you just “rejected” communion.)

Whatever you do, do not take communion if you are not sacramentally prepared for it.
This is a sacrieliege, and not a devotion. The Lord wants you to come to him, but his way, not yours. So attend mass! Be baptized! Recieve the sacraments and I hope one day you’ll join us at the Lord’s Table. But only when you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.

I hope you have a pleasant journey to Rome.

Happy are we who are called to his supper.
 
Just go and take it all in 🙂 I am a convert from the UM church adn I vividly remember my first Mass! Many people won’t be going up for communion-don’t worry 🙂 Heads up: If you join in the Lord’s prayer pause on the last line-many Catholic churches stop before the last line while the priest says a blessing and then all continue with the last line. I don’t think that is everywhere though. My first Mass I was so excited I KNEW somethign that I sailed ALL THE WAY THROUGH 🙂 I was 17 and very embarrassed 🙂 😊 Also, many parishes hold hands during the OUR Father-although this is a highly debated practice so let’s not go there, BUT if you are uncomfortable just fold your hands and most people get the picture 🙂

RELAX…and take it all in. It is beautiful and much more spiritual than anything I ever participated in the UM church.

Kim
 
There were some things though, that were offsetting to me, a noticeable chunk of people left after receiving communion and a steady flow of people shuffled out shortly after. This was odd, as I believe you should stay until the service has concluded. Is this common at RC Mass?
It is disappointingly common. Many people arrive late and leave early. We can’t know for sure why, although there are a few standard guesses. It is far better to arrive early and leave late – get to Mass early to pray and prepare, stay after Mass to pray in thanksgiving (although that can be tricky, because in many parishes, the noise level in the nave after Mass can be an obstacle to prayer).

Some people will bring up the anecdote, from time to time, that Judas was the first person to leave Mass early. 😉 I prefer to point out a less judgmental-sounding scriptural reference:

Just before Jesus blessed His disciples and ascended into Heaven, He told them to remain in Jerusalem for a few more days until the promise of His Father was sent upon them, and they did: they returned to the temple to praise God, and then they stayed together in prayer until the Holy Spirit came upon them.

I think we should follow the same model at Mass: after the blessing and departure of the priest, we should “stay in the temple/Jerusalem” for a little while praising God in prayer, before we go out of the church and into the world to experience Pentecost anew.
 
After communion is the time when it is allowed to leave if you are in hurry and for some reason cannot stay until end of whole service. Of course it is better to stay until it has concluded.
I can speak for the clergy in my area, and for the guidelines of the Church. This is not allowed as you put it; unfortunately it is just commonly done and accepted by much of the laity. Please don’t say it as it is a viable option.

Jesus stayed on the cross until he was completely dead, not just unconscious.

Mr. Bibbins,

You have had some great advice and some questionable advice here. I’ll add my 2 cents, have you made an appointment with the priest of the RC Parish you are attending? I believe this could answer many questions and also give you some possibilities of where to go from here. The heavenly worship within the Catholic Church is beautiful when understood.

Someone mentioned not looking to Dr. Scott Haun, I’m not sure why, I believe for a possible convert, he is one of the best sources to go to. I would suggest “The Lambs Supper.” This is an amazing book about the mass and from an ex-protestant viewpoint, explanations based in Sacred Scripture and Sacred Tradition.

When one comes to realize how Scripture and Tradition unfolds in front of your eyes during the mass, it will bring you to tears. I am a cradle Catholic; born on March 20th, baptized on March 26th. I’ve was always dragged to mass as a kid by my parents, it was much later in life that I discovered what the mass truly is, probably one major reason I am now a permanent deacon. I still sometimes sit and pray after communion and just cry, tears of joy and peace roll down my face. The pearl of great price, the kingdom of God is at hand!

May God bless you and your whole family in this time of discovery, may He lead you and your family home to Himself!!!
 
Thought I would post a follow up

I enjoyed the service very much, everyone was quite friendly and it was all pretty familiar which I did not expect. The liturgy was very similar to that of the Episcopal parish I’ve been attending and we sang many of the same hyms. The sermon given by the Deacon was easily one of the best I’ve ever heard. There were some things though, that were offsetting to me, a noticeable chunk of people left after receiving communion and a steady flow of people shuffled out shortly after. This was odd, as I believe you should stay until the service has concluded. Is this common at RC Mass? Overall it was a great experience and I plan on attending, against the wishes of my family, next Sunday’s Mass. The RCIA classes start in September and I am hopeful that I will be able to attend them.

Thank you again for all the helpful advice and prayers, if only I could find such support among my family…
👍👍

Thank you for the update MrBibbins.
I don’t know about leaving church after communion is right or wrong, but I’ll let you know what I was taught not only in CCD but I’ve heard the priest say it many time. Mass is not over till after the priest says “this mass in ended, go in peace to love and serve the lord.”

I agree with japhy. I’m one of those that gets to church early and I leave about 10 minute after for silent prayer. I’ts funny that the people that come early are the same people that stay a little after also. We seem to know each other better then all others that don’t. Just my observation.

I will pray for you anf your family. Welcome to your Catholic family.

God bless

jesus g
 
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KimberlyAnn0218:
: If you join in the Lord’s prayer pause on the last line-many Catholic churches stop before the last line while the priest says a blessing and then all continue with the last line. I don’t think that is everywhere though. Kim

Yes, it is everywhere.
 
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