First TLM?

[dove51]

I might have an opportunity to attend my first Tridentine Mass this weekend (maybe, hopefully–cross your fingers for me!). But I am very nervous. I have a couple issues, mostly about what to wear. They are:

1.) Communion. I’ve never received Communion on the tongue before, or at a kneeling rail, so I’m nervous about that. I’m not used to sticking my tongue out at people. What if I drop it? I’d hate to go a week without Communion if I don’t have to, but would it be wisest to not receive it and just observe and take mental notes for next time? Am I overthinking this?

2.) Following along in my missal. I have the 1962 one from Angelus Press, but I’m still wary of not really being able to follow along. I think I can manage, though. Will the readings or homily be done in English, or Latin? Does that depend on the parish? If I don’t give responses, because I don’t know how to pronounce Latin words, would it be all right to just be quiet?

3.) Clothes. I’m really worried about offending people when it comes to this, since I’d really like to keep going to this parish for awhile. I don’t want to be known as that girl who came in dressed all wrong and was too embarrassed to come back.

For example, would this outfit be okay? I am short, so the dress comes to my knees. And don’t worry, I would also wear a black sweater over it that comes to my elbows, plus this mantilla I bought awhile ago but haven’t had the chance to use yet.





Or would calves and forearms be showing too much skin? Should I keep looking for Mass-friendly clothes? (And where in the world do you gals find those!?)

4.) Is there anything else someone born and raised in an NO setting should know before going to a TLM? Anything in terms of etiquette or relating to the Mass? Did anyone here switch over to the EF like I am hoping to? What helps you get the most out of it?

This was über long. Perhaps too long. If you got through all this without virtually slapping me, kudos to you!

 

[Chatter163]

The outfit would indeed be considered to be too revealing in many TLM settings. Our parish’s dress code prohibits, for example, sleeveless tops and low necklines, both of which are evident in the picture.

 

[dove51]

The outfit would indeed be considered to be too revealing in many TLM settings. Our parish’s dress code prohibits, for example, sleeveless tops and low necklines, both of which are evident in the picture.

Right. Which is why I would put a sweater on over it. Would that be okay?

 

[James0235]

…But I am very nervous. I have a couple issues, mostly about what to wear. They are:

1.) Communion…

I wouldn’t worry about the host dropping. Most likely they will be using a communion plate to catch any hosts that may fall - something that is supposed to be used in the Ordinary Form as well (GIRM 118, RS 93).

In my experience the priest has more control over whether or not the host drops than the people receiving. If a priest is used to distributing communion on the tongue then there are rarely any issues. If he is not used to it then that is why the communion plate is there.

I once witnessed a priest drop 4 hosts while attempting to distribute communion on the tongue. Each and every one was caught by the server. And by the next week the priest was an expert at distributing that way.

(continued)

 

[James0235]

2.) Following along in my missal…

1. Put the Purple Ribbon at page 20-21 at the section “The Most Necessary Prayers”.

This will be particularly helpful until you begin to memorize some of these prayers in Latin. The memorization will gradually happen through attending Mass and using the Missal. And it is a great place to turn to for your private prayer outside of Mass.

This will be particularly useful if the Mass you attend this Sunday is a High Mass.

After I began to memorize the prayers I moved the Purple Ribbon to page 119. This is a useful page if your parish ever offers Benediction. And on top of that I find myself turning here often to sing Pange Lingua or Tantum Ergo (usually when I am alone so I don’t inflict my singing on others

2. Put the White Ribbon at the page for the next Sunday Mass. This coming Sunday (June 22nd) will be the 6th Sunday after Pentecost. So, put the White Ribbon at page 736.

These are the Propers for the Mass - the prayers that change from Mass to Mass. The parts of the Mass that are the same every week (Sanctus, Credo, Kyrie, the Canon, etc. ) are known as the Ordinary.

And just move the White Ribbon when you turn the page during the Gospel.

3. Put the Red Ribbon at the Ordinary of the Mass. I keep mine at page 838. At a High Mass the priest will often precede the Mass with the Asperges (or from Easter to Pentecost the Vidi Aquam). This is found on page 833. If you are attending a High Mass you may want to put the Red Ribbon here instead. I personally keep it at 838 and just flip back to 833 every Sunday.

If it is a High Mass and the priest is performing the Rite of Sprinkling (the Asperges) found on page 833 then you will notice that in the middle the Gloria is begun but not ended (Glory be to the Father. or in Latin - Gloria Patri. ) This is where that Purple Ribbon at page 20-21 will come in useful. The prayers on 20-22 are assumed to be known and so are not necessarily reprinted each time they occur in the Missal.

As you follow along in the Missal (which get much, much easier with time) just flip the pages to keep up. And you will want to move the Red Ribbon to the next page with you.

When you get to one of the Propers of the Mass you will want to flip to the White Ribbon. The first Proper is the Introit on page 847. For example this coming Sunday when you reach this point you would turn to the White Ribbon at page 736 for that prayer. And after that prayer you would turn back to the Red Ribbon at page 847. This is why you want to move the Red Ribbon as you turn pages. Otherwise you would end up at page 838.

You would turn back to the White Ribbon for each of the other Propers - The Collect (pg. 851), the Epistle, (851), the Gradual (853), the Gospel (855), the Offertory (859), the Secret (869), the Communion (915), and the Postcommunion (917).

The White Ribbon also tells you which Preface will be used for the Mass. It is found between the Secret and the Communion (for this coming Sunday it is on p. 729 and it is the Preface of the Most Holy Trinity. The Prefaces begin when you get to page 870 with the Red Ribbon. The Preface of the Most Holy Trinity is specifically found on 875. For most Sundays it will be the Preface of the Most Holy Trinity.

(continued)

 

[James0235]

4. The other Ribbons most likely won’t be needed for Mass this Sunday. But, here is what I would do with them. I would put the Green Ribbon at the Propers for the Saint of the day. Tomorrow (June 17th) will be the Feast of St. Gregory Barbarigo. Put the Green Ribbon on page 1242. Move it daily and it serves the same purpose for daily Mass as the White Ribbon serves for Sunday Mass.

If you don’t attend daily Mass then I recommend moving it daily and just reading those propers as part of you private prayers.

5. With the Black Ribbon you have some choices. I personally keep mine at pg. 1598 “The Order of Marriage”. I just think there are some beautiful prayers in there. Around Holy week I move it to 1695 for the prayers of Tenebrae. But you will probably find your own favorite place for it - page 1796 "Prayers against Satan and the other Rebellious Angels is a great spot to turn to often.

Of course, feel free to modify this for your own personal needs. But it should help you get started in familiarizing yourself with the Roman Catholic Daily Missal.

Most likely the Readings will be read at the Altar in Latin and then re-read at the pulpit in English.

 

[dove51]

Wow, thanks so much James0235! I put all the ribbons in the order you said, and I am really grateful for your help!

 

[Pax_et_Caritas]

1.) Communion. I’ve never received Communion on the tongue before, or at a kneeling rail, so I’m nervous about that. I’m not used to sticking my tongue out at people. What if I drop it? …Am I overthinking this?

Yes, you are over thinking it a little. It’s not a big deal. Just tilt your head back slightly and stick your tongue out with your mouth opened. I’ve never heard of communion falling out of someone’s mouth, but if it did, the altar boy holds a patten beneath you to catch it.

2.) Following along in my missal. I have the 1962 one from Angelus Press, but I’m still wary of not really being able to follow along. I think I can manage, though. Will the readings or homily be done in English, or Latin?

The gospel and epistle (the two main readings) are done in Latin first, then they are re-read again in English before the sermon from the pulpit.

Regarding following along. You will certainly want to learn to follow along in the Missal, but you may or may not want to try at your first Mass. You may just want to take it all in.

Does that depend on the parish? If I don’t give responses, because I don’t know how to pronounce Latin words, would it be all right to just be quiet?

Yes, at most Parishes the faithful do not respond. Only the altar boys do. There is something called a "dialogue Mas"s where the entire congregation responds with the altar boy, but this is not the norm. If the Mass you atend is a dialogue Mass, you still don’t have to respond.

3.) Clothes. I’m really worried about offending people when it comes to this, since I’d really like to keep going to this parish for awhile. I don’t want to be known as that girl who came in dressed all wrong and was too embarrassed to come back.
For example, would this outfit be okay? I am short, so the dress comes to my knees. And don’t worry, I would also wear a black sweater over it that comes to my elbows, plus this mantilla I bought awhile ago but haven’t had the chance to use yet.

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/314VD2kx0iL_SS260_.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/49BK.jpg

I’m certainly not the dress police, but it should at least cover your knees.

Or would calves and forearms be showing too much skin? Should I keep looking for Mass-friendly clothes? (And where in the world do you gals find those!?)

Showing forearms is certainly OK. I think you will be fine as long as the dress is below your knees.

4.) Is there anything else someone born and raised in an NO setting should know before going to a TLM?

Yes, everyone there will be very glad to see you. They will be anxious for you to come to love the Mass as much as they do. And also keep in mind that many people today are just coming over to the old Mass. Most people there are probably only a year or two ahead of you. Before you know it you will be a regular, as others are attending their first Mass - with all the same anxieties that you have.

continue

 

[Pax_et_Caritas]

continuation

Anything in terms of etiquette or relating to the Mass?

Just follow along with everyone else and don’t say Amen before receiving communion.

I’ve always been a Traditionalist so I didn’t have to switch over, but what I really love about the Mass is following along with the Priest by entering into what he is doing at each point. It will take a while for you to learn the Mass, but if you study it and attend it regularly, it is so deep, with so much meaning, that you can really learn to enter into it. At the offertory, for example, you should mentally place your petitions on the patten along with the host. Also mentally place them in the chalice when the Priest is mixing the winde with water, remembering that the mixing of the water and wine represents our participatin in the divine nature of God, through sanctifying grace. The wine represents the Divine nature of God, the water our nature. When the water and wine are mixed, the two become one, just as we become one with Jesus through sanctifying grace. Then, when the Priest offers the unconsecrated wine to God (which he does just after mixing the water and wine), offer yourself, your sufferings and merits, along with the offering of Jesus. It is also good at this point to offer your death, and all the pains that will accompany it, along with the death of Jesus on the cross. (Pope St. Pius X granted a plenary indulgence, applicable at the moment of death, to this prayer). Then, when the consecration takes place, your petitions will ascend to God along with the sacrifice of Jesus.

This was über long. Perhaps too long. If you got through all this without virtually slapping me, kudos to you!

It was a pleasure. I wish you the best and will pray my next Rosary for you. Please report back after Mass.

BTW, where do you live and what Church will you be attending?

 

[James0235]

3.) Clothes. I’m really worried about offending people when it comes to this, since I’d really like to keep going to this parish for awhile. I don’t want to be known as that girl who came in dressed all wrong and was too embarrassed to come back.

For example, would this outfit be okay? …

I would tend to disagree a bit with Chatter163 on this one. I think it is fine. Especially if you plan to wear a sweater over it.

4.) Is there anything else someone born and raised in an NO setting should know before going to a TLM? Anything in terms of etiquette or relating to the Mass? Did anyone here switch over to the EF like I am hoping to? What helps you get the most out of it?

One thing you might remember is that rubrics for people - i.e. when to stand, sit, kneel, etc. are really a pretty recent invention. In the EF even though a particular Missal might tell you when to do these things it is really more a matter of custom than anything else. So, you may see some people who do things a bit differently if that is what they learned. If I were you I would just do what the majority are doing. And when in doubt you could always just remain kneeling for the entire Mass.

This was über long. Perhaps too long. If you got through all this without virtually slapping me, kudos to you!

Not too long at all. The only way you can ever learn anything is by asking.

James

 

[dove51]

BTW, where do you live and what Church will you be attending?

I live about a half an hour away from the church I want to go to. It is this one, in Kansas City. latin-mass.org/spd/

It’s so pretty. And I’m feeling much less nervous with all of you guys’ help.

 

[Pax_et_Caritas]

I live about a half an hour away from the church I want to go to. It is this one, in Kansas City. latin-mass.org/spd/

It’s so pretty. And I’m feeling much less nervous with all of you guys’ help.

I had a feeling you lived in Kansas City. Don’t ask me how I knew it. Fr. Wolfe and Fr. Gorden are excellent. You don’t know how fortunate you are. Their sermons are put online each week and can be heard at www.audiosancto.com.

I’m very happy for you (and a little jealous). I wish you the best.

 

[dove51]

I had a feeling you lived in Kansas City. Don’t ask me how I knew it. Fr. Wolfe and Fr. Gorden are excellent. You don’t know how fortunate you are. Their sermons are put online each week and can be heard at www.audiosancto.com.

I’m very happy for you (and a little jealous). I wish you the best.

That is rather creepy. In a cool way.

 

[James0235]

Wow, thanks so much James0235! I put all the ribbons in the order you said, and I am really grateful for your help!

You are welcome.

I live about a half an hour away from the church I want to go to. It is this one, in Kansas City. latin-mass.org/spd/

It’s so pretty. And I’m feeling much less nervous with all of you guys’ help.

I would just add that I would recommend the 11:00AM High Mass over the 6:30AM Low Mass - at least until you get used to the Extraordinary Form.

latin-mass.org/spd/mass_schedule

James

 

[nannygirl]

I might have an opportunity to attend my first Tridentine Mass this weekend (maybe, hopefully–cross your fingers for me!). But I am very nervous. I have a couple issues, mostly about what to wear. They are:

1.) Communion. I’ve never received Communion on the tongue before, or at a kneeling rail, so I’m nervous about that. I’m not used to sticking my tongue out at people. What if I drop it? I’d hate to go a week without Communion if I don’t have to, but would it be wisest to not receive it and just observe and take mental notes for next time? Am I overthinking this?

2.) Following along in my missal. I have the 1962 one from Angelus Press, but I’m still wary of not really being able to follow along. I think I can manage, though. Will the readings or homily be done in English, or Latin? Does that depend on the parish? If I don’t give responses, because I don’t know how to pronounce Latin words, would it be all right to just be quiet?

3.) Clothes. I’m really worried about offending people when it comes to this, since I’d really like to keep going to this parish for awhile. I don’t want to be known as that girl who came in dressed all wrong and was too embarrassed to come back.

For example, would this outfit be okay? I am short, so the dress comes to my knees. And don’t worry, I would also wear a black sweater over it that comes to my elbows, plus this mantilla I bought awhile ago but haven’t had the chance to use yet.

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/314VD2kx0iL_SS260_.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/49BK.jpg

Or would calves and forearms be showing too much skin? Should I keep looking for Mass-friendly clothes? (And where in the world do you gals find those!?)

4.) Is there anything else someone born and raised in an NO setting should know before going to a TLM? Anything in terms of etiquette or relating to the Mass? Did anyone here switch over to the EF like I am hoping to? What helps you get the most out of it?

This was über long. Perhaps too long. If you got through all this without virtually slapping me, kudos to you!

Hi Dove,

I have been attending a TLM for 2 years and am a convert, so I haven’t had too much experience with the NO. I like fashion, so I’m more liberal about it than some, so I hate to tell you this but that dress would be considered way too revealing for Mass (fine for going out to dinner) unless your sweater was buttoned to your collarbone. Then it would be fine. Many TLM churches use the Vatican’s dress code as their guidline:

No bare arms or shoulders- sleeves at least to the elbow.
Skirts or dresses should touch the floor when you kneel down.
Slacks are fine, but no shorts (men or women)

Showing any cleavage is just not classy. Dress in a way that men’s eyes aren’t going to pop out of their heads and their wives won’t look at you with daggers in their eyes. I often think of what Mary would think of my outfit before I walk out the door.

I wear long or just-below-the-knee skirts. This has been a fabulous season for them. I shop online at Nordstroms, Macy’s, Dillards, J Jill, Speigel, etc. I also wear some sort of cover-up (jacket, sweater), so that I don’t show the form of “the girls”, if you know what I mean.

Don’t worry about all the things you’re worried about. Sit near some other people and follow what they are doing. When you get to the rail, put your hand on it to balance yourself as you’re kneeling. Make sure the edge of your skirt isn’t caught on your heel before you get up. Open your mouth and stick your tongue out kinda like a catcher’s mitt. The priest will press the host on your tongue and when he does that, close your mouth. Don’t say “Amen”. It is not appropriate in the EF.

They may have a handbook for you to follow along. If not, just do what everyone else is doing. If you are going to use your missal, just open it to the middle and find the order of the Mass. You should be able to follow along easily. The Missal will often instruct you as to what is going on.

In the High Mass, the priest does all the readings in Latin, the choir sings the Propers then, before the sermon, the priest will read the Epistle and Gospel in English. The only other time English may be used is during the sermon and closing hymn. It depends on whether or not this church has dialogue Masses that determines if the congregation responds out loud. Only the choir responds at our Masses. The people follow along in their Missals silently.

I hope this helps!

 

[dove51]

I hope this helps!

It did.

 

[nannygirl]

I live about a half an hour away from the church I want to go to. It is this one, in Kansas City. latin-mass.org/spd/

It’s so pretty. And I’m feeling much less nervous with all of you guys’ help.

I am familiar with this church and their “dress code” is very conservative. (the longer the skirt, the better) It’s a great church. I think you’ll love it!!!

 

[dove51]

Cool. I think I’m going shopping this week.

 

[LRThunder]

There’s another reason why you should wear a longer skirt: lots and lots of kneeling. There’s more kneeling in the Latin Mass then there is in the current Mass.

Also, the first part of the Mass you’ll feel like you’re getting a work out because it’s stand up, kneel, sit down, stand up, etc.

 

[scylla]

Yes, kneeling. I went to my first TLM a bit ago and just went again. There is a lot of kneeling, which takes a while to get used to since you might not be used to kneeling so much.

It will give your knees a workout, but that is something all Christians need. We really need to learn how to kneel more.

In Christ
Scylla