Football season is around the corner

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joshkt79

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and it’s my wife’s “worst” time of the year. She hates football with a passion. Always giving me "guilt trips’ about not wanting to spend time with the family which isn’t even true.

How do I deal with this? I love football, always have, always will. I have one team that I root for and it’s really the only team that I want to watch. If they aren’t playing, or I can’t catch the game on TV, then I won’t watch another game, unless my wife isn’t home. She gives me guilt trips because I want to sit at home and watch the game on Sunday when she wants to take the family out for a picnic, when we could have done this all on Saturday when we weren’t doing anything.

The way I look at is, it doesn’t interfere with Church attendance, or school functions for my children. It also doesn’t take away house/yard work, or my job. What more does a man have to do to enjoy a 3 hour game one day a week at his own house?

Should I give up football because my wife dislikes it?
 
I would say - no, you are not being unreasonable - but…

You have children. How old are they? If your wife decided that she wanted to do something for a few hours nearly every Saturday from now until Christmas without the kids - what kind of reaction would you have?

I don’t know what kind of relationship you have. It’s the kind of issue that you’ll have to work out. Does your wife hate football so much - or that you are doing something for yourself to the exclusion of the family? If you had gone golfing, for example, would she have the same reaction?

It’s hard to know if you are unreasonable or if she is. I encourage my wife to attend a “girls’ night” once or sometimes twice a month and a “girls’ weekend” once a year. She wouldn’t begrudge me watching a football game - but honestly, with 4 young kids, actually having a few moments to actually pay attention (to anything) is rare with me - so football has kind of gone to the sidelines for a few years.
 
I married a woman who loves football as much as I do, and we happened to be fans of the same team. I don’t know what to tell you. 😃

All you can do is pray, unless you have kids who will watch the game with you. Then your wife will be the odd one out. 😛
 
joshkt79 said:
and it’s my wife’s “worst” time of the year. She hates football with a passion. Always giving me "guilt trips’ about not wanting to spend time with the family which isn’t even true.

How do I deal with this? I love football, always have, always will. I have one team that I root for and it’s really the only team that I want to watch. If they aren’t playing, or I can’t catch the game on TV, then I won’t watch another game, unless my wife isn’t home. She gives me guilt trips because I want to sit at home and watch the game on Sunday when she wants to take the family out for a picnic, when we could have done this all on Saturday when we weren’t doing anything.

The way I look at is, it doesn’t interfere with Church attendance, or school functions for my children. It also doesn’t take away house/yard work, or my job. What more does a man have to do to enjoy a 3 hour game one day a week at his own house?

Should I give up football because my wife dislikes it?
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You wouldn’t make your wife give up her favorite TV show because you don’t like it. Hate to tell you this, but your wife is being a control freak.
ahollars said:
I married a woman who loves football as much as I do, and we happened to be fans of the same team. I don’t know what to tell you. 😃
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You are a lucky man 👍
 
Josh,

I am sure you explained to your wife that it is just one game for a 3 hour period that you watch. If it is not interfering with your quality time with you family she really should not have an issue with it. Since she hates football so much that is probably the reason she is angry – would she still be angry if it was an old movie channel that was on every Sunday for 3 hours that you watched? Or say a “boy’s night” out playing poker or such would she be angry?

It just seems a bit selfish of her to want to deny you just 3 hours out of a week to relax or enjoy something. I am sure that you would have no issues with her doing something similar. But again I think that it is her hatred for football that is the issue, and that may never change so there may be nothing you can do about that.

Sorry, will pray that God grants you strength.

Winter

P.S. as a side note – Go Patriots! 🙂
 
There are 52 weeks in a year. Do you go on picnics the other 35 weeks of the year (not counting playoffs here) or does this sudden urge to do things as a family on Sunday afternoons only arise when football starts?

Does anyone really go on picnics??? Seriously?

All I can say is I think this is about something other than football. I am sure you wife has tv shows she doesn’t like to miss or other activities that she likes that aren’t your thing. It’s a little more obvious because a FB game is going to be 3-4 hours while her shows and her activities likely are the same time but spread out over days. So, it isn’t as noticeable.

Try planning ahead-- get your team’s schedule down on paper and pencil in a family activity around the game. Game’s at noon-- order pizza in, watch the game, then do something in the PM with the family. Game’s on in the PM, go on the picnic or take the kids to see Nemo 3D and be home by 3 or 4 or 7 or whatever. Or plan ahead for a Saturday activity. And, there’s always DVR… just don’t look at ESPN until after you’ve watched the game!

If after planning ahead, compromising, and making sure the family time is in the mix she is still complaining… this is not about football.

Sorry, in a way I can relate b/c I have lots of friends who don’t like football and complain about their husbands watching it and they comlain to me or ask me about football to try to understand it, but mostly I just think to myself “who doesn’t like football???” I love football, probably more than my DH does. Football is on here from Saturday morning until Sunday night, and it’s me watching it! 😃 I’ve been known to watch football reruns on ESPN Classic when I really need a fix! I guess my husband is just a lucky guy.
 
shainski said:
I would say - no, you are not being unreasonable - but…

You have children. How old are they? If your wife decided that she wanted to do something for a few hours nearly every Saturday from now until Christmas without the kids - what kind of reaction would you have?

I don’t know what kind of relationship you have. It’s the kind of issue that you’ll have to work out. Does your wife hate football so much - or that you are doing something for yourself to the exclusion of the family? If you had gone golfing, for example, would she have the same reaction?

It’s hard to know if you are unreasonable or if she is. I encourage my wife to attend a “girls’ night” once or sometimes twice a month and a “girls’ weekend” once a year. She wouldn’t begrudge me watching a football game - but honestly, with 4 young kids, actually having a few moments to actually pay attention (to anything) is rare with me - so football has kind of gone to the sidelines for a few years.
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I have 2 kids. One is 4 and the other is 2. Both girls. The 4 year old wants to watch football with daddy, the other could care less. Honestly, now that I think about it, it may not really be a football thing after all. If I had went golfing, she’d probably have the same reaction. My wife hates being indoors so that’s why she always wants to go go go. My wife has a hair appointment coming up soon. Think I should tell her it’s cutting into “family” time, or should I just keep quiet 😃
 
1ke said:
Try planning ahead-- get your team’s schedule down on paper and pencil in a family activity around the game. Game’s at noon-- order pizza in, watch the game, then do something in the PM with the family. Game’s on in the PM, go on the picnic or take the kids to see Nemo 3D and be home by 3 or 4 or 7 or whatever. Or plan ahead for a Saturday activity. And, there’s always DVR… just don’t look at ESPN until after you’ve watched the game!
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DVR a sporting event? The fact that sporting events are “DVR proof” is one reason why many of the major sports have enjoyed record TV ratings the last several years. You can DVR Pawn Stars and watch it at a later time, said cann’t be said for sports. In addition to avoiding ESPN, you would have to avoid sports radio, social networking and in my case my cell phone all together as I have the Yahoo! Sports score app on my phone until after the game and then there’s the fantasy aspect as well 😉
1ke said:
I love football, probably more than my DH does. Football is on here from Saturday morning until Sunday night, and it’s me watching it! :D.
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You sound just like my sisters 👍 Oh and because of horrible customer service from DirecTV, i’ve got Sunday Ticket for free this coming season, even more reason for me to watch football non stop from Saturday morning through Sunday with Mass prior to the start of the Sunday pregame shows :cool:
 
(I realize that this comment doesn’t really answer your question, but it might be some middle ground)

One thing that i have done with my young children is to go to high school football games. We have a high school just 1/2 mile from our house. We can sometimes hear the games announcers when we are outside. When our kids were about the ages of your kids - i started taking them to the high school games.

It cost hardly anything to go - so i didn’t care if they wanted to stay for 10 minutes or 2 hours. I think i had to pay 2 or 3 dollars for me, and they were all free.

I would get them a hot dog or pop corn or gatorade.

We’d watch the cheerleaders, the band, the game, the crowd. It seemed - even for very little kids, they had a great time. They didn’t understand the game, but i could talk to them a little bit about what a kickoff was. Now my kids are 3 to 7 (2 girls, 2 boys) - but they still love going to the high school football games. And if your wife likes being outdoors - she might enjoy it as well (especially if you don’t make her stay for the entire game!)
 
I don’t think your wife is being fair. My husband has his interests and they don’t always line up with mine, but I let him have some of his own time to do what he likes. Maybe, you should make a point of planning things yourself to do with the family on Saturdays during the football season. It would be hard for her to complain about your football cutting into family time if you took the initiative to plan family outings on Saturdays. Just a suggestion. Maybe it will work.
 
Dude why would you want to watch football when Hockey season is coming up?
 
You’re both being a little unreasonable. You can’t expect to have three uninterrupted hours of football time every weekend with two small kids and a wife. And honestly between work and chores everyone is busy during the week. You owe your family your weekends. Especially in the fall when the weather is great and there is so much to do.

My fiance and I are huge football fans, so having a beer, eating chips, and cheering at the screen makes for great us time. However, because we have other things to do sometimes and we have different teams sometimes we can’t watch the game when it is on. So…we pay for this service through the NFL website that allows us to stream any game after all the games of the day are over. So we don’t check scores and frequently curl up in bed and watch the game late at night when everything else is over. And because they just show the game there are no commercials or halftime, so it usually takes less than two hours per game. Maybe you could look in to something like that?
 
I have all kinds of sympathy for you my man. My wife is a huge football fan (and sports fan in general) and loves to watch both the college and professional games. She’s even wanted to go to HS games in the area despite the fact that our kids are not even of school age yet! The only thing she loves more than football is her St. Louis Cardinals.

Heck, she agreed to a deal we made at our engagement. For baseball, I get to stay a Brewers fan but the kids are Cards fans. For football, everyone is a Packers fan. She’s never cared for the Rams but does have some affinity for the Jaguars.

So yeah, just wanted to chime in with some sympathy and a “here here” to the other pieces of advice given. As for me, I’m sure my wife will be just as geeked as I am when the season kicks off tomorrow night!
 
joshkt79 said:
and it’s my wife’s “worst” time of the year. She hates football with a passion. Always giving me "guilt trips’ about not wanting to spend time with the family which isn’t even true.

How do I deal with this? I love football, always have, always will. I have one team that I root for and it’s really the only team that I want to watch. If they aren’t playing, or I can’t catch the game on TV, then I won’t watch another game, unless my wife isn’t home. She gives me guilt trips because I want to sit at home and watch the game on Sunday when she wants to take the family out for a picnic, when we could have done this all on Saturday when we weren’t doing anything.

The way I look at is, it doesn’t interfere with Church attendance, or school functions for my children. It also doesn’t take away house/yard work, or my job. What more does a man have to do to enjoy a 3 hour game one day a week at his own house?

Should I give up football because my wife dislikes it?
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ABSOLUTELY NOT

It is THREE HOURS of ONE day PER WEEK. NOT too much to ask, in my humble opinion. If I were in your shoes, I’d tell her that she just has to live with it. For her to infringe upon your fanhood is not very loving; especially if she knew how much you love your team before you were married.

She can see it as time to herself to gossip on the phone, go shoe-shopping, or read a trashy romance novel. Before every relationship I ever entered into I laid down the law on day 1 about football on Sunday, or Monday night, playoffs, and the Super Bowl. If they didn’t like it, that was too bad. I have no sympathy for her.
Winter_Warlock said:
Josh,

I am sure you explained to your wife that it is just one game for a 3 hour period that you watch. If it is not interfering with your quality time with you family she really should not have an issue with it. Since she hates football so much that is probably the reason she is angry – would she still be angry if it was an old movie channel that was on every Sunday for 3 hours that you watched? Or say a “boy’s night” out playing poker or such would she be angry?

It just seems a bit selfish of her to want to deny you just 3 hours out of a week to relax or enjoy something. I am sure that you would have no issues with her doing something similar. But again I think that it is her hatred for football that is the issue, and that may never change so there may be nothing you can do about that.

Sorry, will pray that God grants you strength.

Winter

P.S. as a side note – Go Patriots! 🙂
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All eyes are set on one glittering goal
the chance to play and win
in the Super Bowl.
~ John Facenda

GO PATRIOTS!!!
 
joshkt79 said:
I have 2 kids. One is 4 and the other is 2. Both girls. The 4 year old wants to watch football with daddy, the other could care less. Honestly, now that I think about it, it may not really be a football thing after all. If I had went golfing, she’d probably have the same reaction. My wife hates being indoors so that’s why she always wants to go go go. My wife has a hair appointment coming up soon. Think I should tell her it’s cutting into “family” time, or should I just keep quiet 😃
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I have to ask, do you actually golf as well and does that cut into the weekend time too? Or is the only time on the weekend you’re asking to spend doing something you like to do is watching your favorite football team?

I would work out a compromise, give a Sunday here or there ( there are bye weeks and Sunday/Monday night football games), schedule time to be with the family. But she has to bend a little bit as well IF the only time you’re asking to not be with the family is for the games. If you’re busy doing a whole bunch of stuff away from the family the rest of the week and on Saturdays as well, then you are the one being unreasonable and this has nothing to do with her griping about you watching football.

Perhaps you could present the situation to her as she gets the opportunity to spend some one on one time with the daughter that doesn’t like football.
 
Frankly this is nothing but selfishness and controlling behavior on her part. You should tell her that it is going to do nothing but make you resent her. You sound like a responsible husband; aren’t you entitled to one or two simple pleasures? Wait, you’re not going to a strip club to watch the game are you? Lol.
 
I don’t think one game a week is unreasonable if you spend a lot time with them the rest of the weekend.

BTW: I am female, I watch football alone on the weekends.

Geaux Saint’s and Geaux LSU Tigers! 😃
 
My advice is find ways to spend time with your family while watching football. For instance you could get a coloring book with pictures of football players or pictures of the team mascot for your girls to color on while watching. You could encourage your wife to read a book or do some quiet activity in the same room while the game is on. That way you are still together as a family and can talk. You could plan ahead and have the family make fun football snacks together before the game that you can munch on during game time. Then to work an outside angle in, during half-time you could go outside and toss a football around with your daughters, a soft nerf one perhaps? Your 4 year old should be old enough to run a few touchdowns into the endzone while you cheer her on. If football is important to you I think you can work on ways to include your whole family that way it is just another family bonding activity you do in the fall.

Does your team have radio coverage? If so you could plan a tailgate to the local park. Bring a picnic and listen to the game on the radio while running your own plays! If you know any other football fan families you could invite them along so you have a play date for everyone! I don’t think you are being unreasonable by watching the game each week and I’m sure you can find a way to make it a family tradition to follow and enjoy football! Good luck!
 
I personally HATE football, but my husband loves it.

Here’s how we managed…

When our girls were young, we bought them the cheerleading outfits of our team. They loved dressing up and hanging out while their dad watched the game.

My husband also didn’t mind watching the girls while I went out. I remember coming back to seeing his head covered in curlers while he played beauty shop with them so he could watch the game.

Another cool thing he did was tell me ‘don’t cook, we’re ordering in when the game is over’. That always made me happy.

He would also take them to games with him. Sometimes I would go, but I really would rather read a book. Our girls are all adults now and they have fond memories of football games with their dad.
 
I suggest that you politely remind your wife that she is part of a marriage. Marriage is not a democracy. You are the leader of the household and have final authority over all decisions. You appreciate her suggestions and are glad to listen to her feelings, but, the final decision is yours. Once your decision has been reached there is no need for further comments or room for discussion. You may also mention that you will appreciate some chocolate chip cookies and homemade chili to eat during the game next Sunday.
 
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