For all married Catholics and single Catholics considering marriage

[josh987654321]

Okay, at this point, I snipped much of your post. But highlighted other portions.

One thing you seem to think is that I should be actively trying to convert my husband. According to numerous priests, that is wrong. Maybe you should talk to a priest about it?

Numerous priests told you not to evangelize?

Another is that you seem to think that since we have different beliefs, we have to come to some sort of agreement and teach our child(ren) that mix of beliefs. Again, that is wrong. Our son has only been taught Catholicism. That is the agreement I had with the Church when we were married.

Okay.

I said, if you two cannot agree on what your religious beliefs are, than how is your child supposed to come to a conclusion on religious beliefs? that there all valid when they say different things?

Finally, you seem to have gone way past just asking some questions about my marriage and how I have worked out being married to a non-Catholic.

My apologies I didn’t mean to.

1. you have questioned my belief in the Eucharist.

I wasn’t questioning your belief in the Eucharist, I was trying to encourage you to question your husbands belief in the Eucharist, because ultimately he is the one missing out.

1. you have questioned the importance of religion in my life.

My apologies, I didn’t mean to attack you or anything, but yes I did question that, because I am surprised it’s not an issue having very different religious beliefs.

1. and somehow you seem to believe that my husband and I never talk.

Only about religion and if that’s not true I apologise.

Please stop it.

Okay, my apologies.

You don’t know me, don’t pretend that you do.

Okay.

Yeah, Josh, you’ve also assumed that I haven’t looked into Catholicism and made an informed decision. That’s not true.

But are you content have separate religious beliefs when both your beliefs are based on the exact same book (bible)? Surely Jesus Christ isn’t saying two completely different, contradictory things.

Because you must consider this, if your spouse is Catholic and you aren’t, that means one of two things -

1. Your Catholic spouse is committing Idolatry with the Eucharist if it is not the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ. (Which your spouse isn’t John 6:43-71)
2. If the Eucharist is the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, which it is John 6:43-71 than you are missing out on such an enormous gift, one of the greatest sacraments that only your spouse has resource to.

Do these two facts bother you? Not trying to have a shot or anything, please don’t take this the wrong way.

God Bless you both.

Thanks for reading
Josh

 

[masuwerte]

But are you content have separate religious beliefs when both your beliefs are based on the exact same book (bible)? Surely Jesus Christ isn’t saying two completely different, contradictory things.

Because you must consider this, if your spouse is Catholic and you aren’t, that means one of two things -

1. Your Catholic spouse is committing Idolatry with the Eucharist if it is not the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ. (Which your spouse isn’t John 6:43-71)
2. If the Eucharist is the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ, which it is John 6:43-71 than you are missing out on such an enormous gift, one of the greatest sacraments that only your spouse has resource to.

Do these two facts bother you? Not trying to have a shot or anything, please don’t take this the wrong way.

God Bless you both.

Thanks for reading
Josh

No, it’s not that black-and-white. For starters, neither Episcopalians nor Catholics believe in sola scriptura, so our beliefs are not based solely on the Bible. Also, Episcopalians and Catholics both believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist - to get a more precise definition of the official teaching of the Episcopal Church, google “1979 Book of Common Prayer” and read the section at the back titled, “An Outline of the Faith, Commonly Called the Catechism.”

We’re getting somewhat off topic, here, perhaps this would go better in a thread of its own.

 

[maryjk]

Numerous priests told you not to evangelize?

Numerous priests have told me how to evangelize. And preaching isn’t the only way to do it.

I said, if you two cannot agree on what your religious beliefs are, than how is your child supposed to come to a conclusion on religious beliefs? that there all valid when they say different things?

Again, our son wasn’t taught different things. He was taught the truth of the Catholic church.

My apologies I didn’t mean to.

Thank you

I wasn’t questioning your belief in the Eucharist, I was trying to encourage you to question your husbands belief in the Eucharist, because ultimately he is the one missing out.

As I have said, the best way for me to evangelize to my husband doesn’t include questioning him.

My apologies, I didn’t mean to attack you or anything, but yes I did question that, because I am surprised it’s not an issue having very different religious beliefs.

You may be surprised, but it isn’t an issue.

Only about religion and if that’s not true I apologise.

I think you have missed the part where I said we have been married for 21 years. Do you really think in 21 years of marriage and 2 years before that, we never talked about religion???

I know you are having a hard time getting past the fact that two people with differing views on religion can be happily married. And with your attitude, you shouldn’t even date someone that isn’t Catholic. It would be a recipe for disaster for you.

But there are people that can handle it. And my husband and I, we are two of those people.

 

[jpink1019]

Is HopeEternal even still reading this thread? I don’t understand why it was a mistake to join the forums…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Is HopeEternal even still reading this thread? I don’t understand why it was a mistake to join the forums…

The OP started this thread as a way to warn Catholics not to intentionally marry outside of our faith. But then a poster came onto the thread defending her own marriage to a non-Catholic which subverted the purpose of the thread.

 

[BettyBoop416]

The OP started this thread as a way to warn Catholics not to intentionally marry outside of our faith. But then a poster came onto the thread defending her own marriage to a non-Catholic which subverted the purpose of the thread.

While the OP related her negative experience of marriage to a non-Catholic, she also said:

And I would like others to share their stories as well

So, as one of the posters sharing the story of my marriage to a non-Catholic, I don’t think I “subverted the purpose of the thread.”

Is HopeEternal even still reading this thread? I don’t understand why it was a mistake to join the forums…

The OP caught on pretty quickly about what a nutty place CAF can be.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

I used to be married to a Protestant. That was a big mistake, and I wasn’t even a practicing Catholic at the time. There are some very fundamental issues that are likely to arise if a Catholic (or Orthodox) marries a non-Catholic. Some of the obvious ones are that the use of contraception is perfectly acceptable, and that divorce is permitted. That’s without getting into the whole issue of raising children in a certain religion (or, in my case, the ex just refused to have children…period).

When discerning marriage, one has to use their head, not just their heart or (worse) their hormones.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Tell Her You’re A Catholic

A very good little booklet that explains many of the challenges a Catholic would encounter when marrying a non-Catholic (in this case, C of E). Caution: this story includes the fiancee’s conversion because she sees the truth of our faith, not just to be married in a nice church to a nice Catholic.

The theology here is solid.

 

[LoveJesus13]

The OP started this thread as a way to warn Catholics not to intentionally marry outside of our faith. But then a poster came onto the thread defending her own marriage to a non-Catholic which subverted the purpose of the thread.

You hit it on the nail! Now the OP probably stopped coming on here altogether bc of one poster.

 

[EasterJoy]

The OP started this thread as a way to warn Catholics not to intentionally marry outside of our faith. But then a poster came onto the thread defending her own marriage to a non-Catholic which subverted the purpose of the thread.

The OP wrote “They all seem to have serious problems in their relationships.” I think the poster was simply trying to say that while there are challenges, it would be a bit far to say that there are always serious problems.

When the OP wrote “And I would like others to share their stories as well”, I didn’t take that to mean only people who agreed.

 

[josh987654321]

No, it’s not that black-and-white.

It’s important to work out your religious differences though. May I ask how does religious practice work? and what do you teach your kids (if you have kids), if not what will you teach them about religion?

For starters, neither Episcopalians nor Catholics believe in sola scriptura, so our beliefs are not based solely on the Bible.

True.

Also, Episcopalians and Catholics both believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist - to get a more precise definition of the official teaching of the Episcopal Church, google “1979 Book of Common Prayer” and read the section at the back titled, “An Outline of the Faith, Commonly Called the Catechism.”

My apologies, I thought Episcopalians were in the “protestant group.”

There are two things, one deeply bothers me and the other I’m happy for.

1. You beleieve in the Holy Eucharist, the Holy Eucharist is one of the greatest sacrements and it is abused by so many, so I’m happy you believe and cherish the Holy Eucharist.
2. What really bothers me, is that the Episcopal Church weds homosexual couples, this deeply bothers me, it didn’t bother me before I found out that the Episcopal church believes in the Holy Eucharist, but what is most disgraceful, is that they will wed homosexual couples infront of the tabernacle, infront of the most Holy Eucharist, Which I find very offensive. But It’s not that I find it offensive, it’s that it is a grave offense against God and his only son Jesus Christ in the most Holy Eucharist.

I will look into the Eucharistic presence in the Episcopal Church further and pray that it is invalid for such a church, because I think that would be horrific to celebrate such immorality infront of the most Holy Eucharist.

It also has “Practicing” homosexual priests, those who are living in a gravely sinful lifestyle who are apparently going to confect the Holy Eucharist. This is a grave offense against God and his only son Jesus Christ, who provides us with this most precious sacrament.

If I were you I would be getting out of the Episcopal Church, but that’s just me.

We’re getting somewhat off topic, here, perhaps this would go better in a thread of its own.

True, Id like to talk to you about it another thread if you could provide a link.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[josh987654321]

1. What really bothers me, is that the Episcopal Church weds homosexual couples, this deeply bothers me, it didn’t bother me before I found out that the Episcopal church believes in the Holy Eucharist, but what is most disgraceful, is that they will wed homosexual couples infront of the tabernacle, infront of the most Holy Eucharist, Which I find very offensive. But It’s not that I find it offensive, it’s that it is a grave offense against God and his only son Jesus Christ in the most Holy Eucharist.

I will look into the Eucharistic presence in the Episcopal Church further and pray that it is invalid for such a church, because I think that would be horrific to celebrate such immorality infront of the most Holy Eucharist.

It also has “Practicing” homosexual priests, those who are living in a gravely sinful lifestyle who are apparently going to confect the Holy Eucharist. This is a grave offense against God and his only son Jesus Christ, who provides us with this most precious sacrament.

If I were you I would be getting out of the Episcopal Church, but that’s just me.

I spoke a bit harshly, I wouldn’t “pray” that the Holy Eucharist is invalid or anything, because it is a great gift that many in the Episcopal Church may need resource to.

By the way I looked into it and it turns out it is valid. catholic.com/quickquestions/how-valid-is-the-consecration-of-the-bread-and-wine-in-a-lutheran-or-episcopal-holy-e

This really concerns me that there will be ministers living a homosexual lifestyle who will confect the Eucharist and that the union of homosexuals in “Holy Matrimony” will be performed in front of the most Holy Eucharist. That such gravely sinful sexual immorality will be celebrated in front of Christ in the Holy Eucharist when all of scripture clearly states against it.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I spoke a bit harshly, I wouldn’t “pray” that the Holy Eucharist is invalid or anything, because it is a great gift that many in the Episcopal Church may need resource to.

By the way I looked into it and it turns out it is valid. catholic.com/quickquestions/how-valid-is-the-consecration-of-the-bread-and-wine-in-a-lutheran-or-episcopal-holy-e

This really concerns me that there will be ministers living a homosexual lifestyle who will confect the Eucharist and that the union of homosexuals in “Holy Matrimony” will be performed in front of the most Holy Eucharist. That such gravely sinful sexual immorality will be celebrated in front of Christ in the Holy Eucharist when all of scripture clearly states against it.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

Since the priests are not ordained by the Catholic Church they are not confecting the Eucharist, although ostensibly Episcopalians/Anglicans do believe in transubstantiation. Their is no valid confection outside the auspices of our Holy Mother Church.

 

[Rachel126]

I’m married to a Catholic, but my grandparents had an amazing, wonderful marriage, and one was Catholic and the other Protestant. It worked wonderfully and I actually don’t know of anyone who had a better marriage.

OP, I’m sorry for what you went through, and while I’m no canon lawyer, I think you have good grounds for an annulment. It sounds like he misrepresented his intentions to you from the start. I encourage you to start that annulment process sooner rather than later. Sometimes it can take a while.

 

[Rachel126]

No, he does not. While agreement between the fiancés is obviously a good idea, the Church does not require a formal statement of this agreement, or that one even exists between the spouses-to-be, in order for a couple to be married in the Church.

I am validly and sacramentally married in the Church to a baptized non-Catholic Christian. I was required to promise to do everything in my power to raise as Catholics any children resulting from our union. The Husband was not required to make any such promise. He was, however, informed that this was mandatory for me and that I had accepted the responsibility. We do not have children (yet), but if we are blessed with them they will be raised Catholic.

Yes. This is true, as a good friend of mine had the same experience in marrying a Protestant. I believe years ago, the Church did expect the non-Catholic party to promise to raise the kids Catholic, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. The Catholic party is made to promise to do “everything in their power” to raise the kids Catholic, although interestingly, that’s not the exact same as “I promise my kids will be raised Catholic, period.” This wasn’t an issue for me because I married a Catholic, but it does appear the Church is softening a bit on mixed-marriage issues.

 

[hurting]

Yes. This is true, as a good friend of mine had the same experience in marrying a Protestant. I believe years ago, the Church did expect the non-Catholic party to promise to raise the kids Catholic, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. The Catholic party is made to promise to do “everything in their power” to raise the kids Catholic, although interestingly, that’s not the exact same as “I promise my kids will be raised Catholic, period.” **This wasn’t an issue for me because I married a Catholic, but it does appear the Church is softening a bit on mixed-marriage issues./**quote]

And this is a bad thing.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Tell Her You’re A Catholic

A very good little booklet that explains many of the challenges a Catholic would encounter when marrying a non-Catholic (in this case, C of E). Caution: this story includes the fiancee’s conversion because she sees the truth of our faith, not just to be married in a nice church to a nice Catholic.

The theology here is solid.

Please read this pdf. There is a very good depiction of the problems that will arise between a Catholic and a non-Catholic. The marriages that work out in spite of this are no doubt a blessing, but could the marriage have been even stronger had they both been Catholic? That’s certain. Was the Catholic in some amount of spiritual danger by marrying outside of the Church? Also certain.

I have seen this happen on many other threads here at CAF. The people whose marriages have been the exception rather than the rule will defend them to the death. I do not blame them for their defense, but I wish they would also acknowledge that the statistics are against them, and that they have somehow managed to dodge a spiritual bullet. Yes, their spouses might be wonderful, loving, caring people. In fact, from the descriptions, they sure sound like great people.

Yet, it is also true that our Church discourages marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics. Why is that? Read the pdf above and absorb it.

 

[hurting]

Tell Her You’re A Catholic

A very good little booklet that explains many of the challenges a Catholic would encounter when marrying a non-Catholic (in this case, C of E). Caution: this story includes the fiancee’s conversion because she sees the truth of our faith, not just to be married in a nice church to a nice Catholic.

The theology here is solid.

I honestly doubt whether a Catholic today would receive the type of frank counsel described in the booklet above from a priest or in pre-Cana training.

On a side note, I’ve heard that the divorce rate for Catholics is alarmingly close to that of the general population, but I wonder what it is for mixed marriages - even ones where the non-Catholic eventually converts.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I honestly doubt whether a Catholic today would receive the type of frank counsel described in the booklet above from a priest or in pre-Cana training.

On a side note, I’ve heard that the divorce rate for Catholics is alarmingly close to that of the general population, but I wonder what it is for mixed marriages - even ones where the non-Catholic eventually converts.

I don’t doubt - I believe that it would be very rare to be counseled on the dangers of a mixed marriage.

 

[Rachel126]

Rachel126;10862225:

Yes. This is true, as a good friend of mine had the same experience in marrying a Protestant. I believe years ago, the Church did expect the non-Catholic party to promise to raise the kids Catholic, but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. The Catholic party is made to promise to do “everything in their power” to raise the kids Catholic, although interestingly, that’s not the exact same as “I promise my kids will be raised Catholic, period.” This wasn’t an issue for me because I married a Catholic, but it does appear the Church is softening a bit on mixed-marriage issues./

quote]

And this is a bad thing.

So, you disagree with the Church then, and you believe it is wrong?