For singles: Why are you single?

[dakotagirl]

Oh no reason except a certain gentleman wasn’t man enough to, you know, ask me out. But like they say, his loss… :coffeeread:

 

[Belgarion]

Oh no reason except a certain gentleman wasn’t man enough to, you know, ask me out. But like they say, his loss… :coffeeread:

Maybe he was nervous…or shy…or something like that.

That plagues me at least…Well…that and fathers who won’t give me permission yet…

 

[beckers]

Lack of opportunities I believe is the reason for my current state of singleness. There is a massive, gaping hole in the world where there should be intelligent, faithful Catholic men. I know they must exist, but I have to meet any single, practicing Catholic since my conversion. I’m not willing to settle for someone with whom I do not share my faith and so I find myself without a husband and without even a single prospect in sight.
Good, single, Catholic men, where are you hiding?!?!

I second this comment.

I am in my late 20’s I am single for a few reasons.

• I needed time to heal from my parents divorce and relaize that marriages can suceed.
• I needed to learn what god really wanted marriage to be
• I need to discern if marriage was my vocation or if the relgious life was my true calling
• I am always the friend and never the girlfriend with my catholic guy friends.
• I am about to start law school next month and its and intense program for the first year.
• I will not settle for a man who doesn’t love God and pratice and live his faith.

 

[Meathead]

I just don’t want to deal with women.

 

[agapewolf]

I am glad someone brought up the subject of Catholic singles. A few years ago I signed up for one on the Net and got nowhere which for me is par for the course. What I found a bit unusual about it was that a few women did show an interest in me but lived no closer than 3,000 miles away. Now, was I suppose to take a plane and meet them for dinner? Perhaps, this is a standard M.O. for these cyberspace dating sites. I don’t know. Has anyone else had this experience?

John

Yes, and I think it is absolutely wonderful!

Phone calls go almost immediately. Even the first day of emailing. I’ve spent hours on the phone, enjoying getting to know someone. Once determining the chemistry is good, then we plan a visit for a couple of days, or longer. You can determine a lot on the phone. I’ve had a couple of really great friendships develop…they didn’t work out just like any relationship doesn’t work out…had nothing to do with the distance.

If you’ll read the success stories, you’ll see lots of them.

 

[Bella3502]

I just don’t want to deal with women.

You know what? That’s a very honest answer, and I would like to amend mine to the same thing.

---

I just don’t want to deal with men. And that’s the liberating truth.

 

[dakotagirl]

QUOTE"Maybe he was nervous…or shy…or something like that."QUOTE

Your point being what exactly, now? Ah well, but you are kind.

 

[Bataar]

Maybe he was nervous…or shy…or something like that.

That plagues me at least…Well…that and fathers who won’t give me permission yet…

I still say you should be a man and ask her out. You’re an adult, she’s an adult and she doesn’t need permission. If you want to deal with her father, tell him you’re only going to wait until July 20th. If he hasn’t granted permission, you’re going to start trying to meet other women because you’re tired of dealing with that excuse. If he acts like it’s no big deal, he probably wasn’t going to “allow” his daughter to date you anyways.

 

[dakotagirl]

Whatever that guy above me said, too. I think most of the time where there is a will there is a way, and your situation is def. one of them.

 

[Belgarion]

I still say you should be a man and ask her out. You’re an adult, she’s an adult and she doesn’t need permission. If you want to deal with her father, tell him you’re only going to wait until July 20th. If he hasn’t granted permission, you’re going to start trying to meet other women because you’re tired of dealing with that excuse. If he acts like it’s no big deal, he probably wasn’t going to “allow” his daughter to date you anyways.

…er…Well I’ve already been waiting a year…

dakotagirl:

Your point being what exactly, now? Ah well, but you are kind

Well, my point is that guys (especially the good ones) are sometimes too shy to make a move. Possibly because they’re afraid that you won’t feel the same. I guess that’s the point…lol
Pretty girls also make that kind of thing worse for those shy guys!!
Perhaps if you winked at him, he’d feel empowered and confident enough to make a move!

 

[dakotagirl]

…er…Well I’ve already been waiting a year…

Well, my point is that guys (especially the good ones) are sometimes too shy to make a move. Possibly because they’re afraid that you won’t feel the same. I guess that’s the point…lol
Pretty girls also make that kind of thing worse for those shy guys!!
Perhaps if you winked at him, he’d feel empowered and confident enough to make a move!

Like this??

 

[Belgarion]

Like this??

Well yes!

Just like that!
That’d be so crazy to see happen!
The guy is just looking around, and isn’t expecting a thing. All of the sudden…
BAM!

Now, he’ll probably turn redder than a stop sign, but it’ll tell him something!!

 

[THutch04]

Because according to most of my exes I’m not pretty enough to deserve a relationship. But really I’m not a very good person and people shouldn’t have to put up with me. There was only one person who I really felt a strong connection with, and I haven’t found that in anybody else.

 

[Belgarion]

Because according to most of my exes I’m not pretty enough to deserve a relationship. But really I’m not a very good person and people shouldn’t have to put up with me. There was only one person who I really felt a strong connection with, and I haven’t found that in anybody else.

You’ll find the connection.
Prayers help!

I think if you think you’re not a very good person, then you can at least try to change that. However, I think you’re just being overly critical of yourself.

I think your exes should be smacked upside the head, too.

 

[Magicsilence]

Because according to most of my exes I’m not pretty enough to deserve a relationship. But really I’m not a very good person and people shouldn’t have to put up with me. There was only one person who I really felt a strong connection with, and I haven’t found that in anybody else.

That makes me so http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/skins/Alabaster/images/Smilies/f_steam.gif.

We can work on our own character flaws, but if your ‘date’ thinks you aren’t ‘pretty enough’ for a relationship:shrug: , then he’s likely to be one of the guys you don’t want to be with.

I know that this world uses ‘skin deep’ beauty as a barometer of attractiveness, but its not how Jesus sees you.

I think one of the great tragedies of this generation is that a women’s talents, hopes, dreams and aspirations are eternally ‘dismissed’ because a man doesn’t find her initially ‘attractive’.

But, I also know how shallow men can be, and I can’t see it changing (at least, outside the Catholic Church).

God Bless!

 

[jimmy85]

I dont really think you should care about being single or not. In order to love someone I think you first gotta love yourself, and you gotta feel alrady complete, and nice just on your own without actualy dating someone.

Being single is a beautiful time for yourself in order to have time for yoursel, and enjoy things.
You shouldnt feel the need to date someone, but instead enjoy this beautiful moment and try to realize that you, are already complere just the way you are, you dont actualy need someoen in order to feel better. If you can understand this then dating wont be such a big deal. dont rush in order to date someone jsut enjoy this moment becuase in a way every moment in life can be beautiful in a way but we dotn actualy realize this.

 

[Salonika]

Because according to most of my exes I’m not pretty enough to deserve a relationship. But really I’m not a very good person and people shouldn’t have to put up with me. There was only one person who I really felt a strong connection with, and I haven’t found that in anybody else.

Thank goodness they ended the relationship - you deserve better. The most charitable reason I can think for them to be so offensive in the reason they gave for ending the relationship is that they lacked the courage to discuss the real reasons for doing so or are unable to appreciate the beauty (eg spiritual, personal others) you have.

They should look around and see couples where one or both are not coventionally beautiful but you can see that they see the real beauty of the other person.

Also it is unfair to criticise people for things someone can’t change - so if the predominant idea of beauty is tall, slender etc and a person is 4’11" and heavily boned it is both rude and unfair to criticise their physical characteristics.

As others have said please don’t be too hard on yourself - by all means change those things you want to change and can change -but remember none of us are perfect.

 

[whatevergirl]

Discerning a vocation to the religous life (at the advanced age of 42 and 9/10). I’m a convert so didn’t quite know what to do with the vocation thing when I was younger.

Congratulations–God bless you for considering this vocation–good luck to you.

 

[ladylinguist]

I dont really think you should care about being single or not. In order to love someone I think you first gotta love yourself, and you gotta feel alrady complete, and nice just on your own without actualy dating someone.

Being single is a beautiful time for yourself in order to have time for yoursel, and enjoy things.
You shouldnt feel the need to date someone, but instead enjoy this beautiful moment and try to realize that you, are already complere just the way you are, you dont actualy need someoen in order to feel better. If you can understand this then dating wont be such a big deal. dont rush in order to date someone jsut enjoy this moment becuase in a way every moment in life can be beautiful in a way but we dotn actualy realize this.

I don’t think the majority of the people in this thread necessarily think that they’re incomplete or less of a person for not having a husband or wife. It is entirely possible (and here I speak from experience) to be content with one’s life, satisfied in one’s own personhood, and living a perfectly useful life and still want to find a spouse. Many people are called to marriage as a vocation, so the desire to be in a relationship is very naturally going to be in their hearts. It does not mean that they somehow feel inadequate or incomplete. This is one of my pet peeves. Simply because I want a husband does not mean I am suffering from self-esteem issues. I recognize my worth and abilities as a fully functional, whole human being separate from my marital status, as I’m sure most of the people on this thread do.

 

[chevalier]

Well, my point is that guys (especially the good ones) are sometimes too shy to make a move. Possibly because they’re afraid that you won’t feel the same. I guess that’s the point…lol
Pretty girls also make that kind of thing worse for those shy guys!!
Perhaps if you winked at him, he’d feel empowered and confident enough to make a move!

The lack of a corresponding feeling (err… okay, I’m a lawyer, not a lover) is not so much of a problem as is the lady’s reaction. I doubt it’s much of a shattering experience for a man if she says something natural and kind instead of a faux-polite slogan. It’s the awkward games which breed all the headache. “Umm… I have to go.” “Err… I’d rather not.” And so on. An honest answer that she likes you but doesn’t feel the same thing for you isn’t really such a problem. Such things simply happen.