For singles: Why are you single?

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HeWillProvide

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Do you know why you’re single? Is it because there are simply not any Catholic guys/girls around you? Do you not get asked out or do you not ask people out? Do you think it’s because of something you do or do not do, or is it because of what others do or do not do? Or is it just timing?
 
I’m in my early twenties.

I used to be pretty negative: “I’m not attractive enough, funny enough, etc.” Now I realize that until recently many girls in my age group just haven’t been interested in a serious relationship. These girls are just are now attending their friend’s weddings and realizing they don’t want to 9 to 5 it every day the rest of their lives.

Sure I wasn’t the best superficial boyfriend material, but I’d like to think I’d make a pretty good candidate for someone seriously looking for a marriageable young man.
 
I think of marriage the way some comic writer, possibly Jean Kerr, classified diets and airplanes – wonderful things for other people to go on.😃
I like the concept of it in a way: a stable way of choosing a roommate that also provides a team for child-rearing. But trying to envision myself in a mariage, even just a wedding or honeymoon, makes me suffocate. I feel so relieved when I think about something else.
 
Because I cannot court the girl I really like yet because her father won’t give me permission. 😦
 
Because I realised as a young woman that a combination of my personal characteristics and preferences weren’t compatible with marriage and would probably result in two unhappy people.

These included getting very edgy being with other people all the time and liking my own company and space.

I also realised that these characteristics were not on the list for raising healthy and happy children. People said I would change when I had children - but I think children are too precious to take the risk.
 
HeWillProvide said:
Do you know why you’re single? Is it because there are simply not any Catholic guys/girls around you? Do you not get asked out or do you not ask people out? Do you think it’s because of something you do or do not do, or is it because of what others do or do not do? Or is it just timing?
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I have no idea why God has chosen singlehood for me. I’ve prayed about it but still have not recieved an answer. :confused: :rolleyes: I hope to have children and marry some day but that’s not necessily going to happen so I’m currently trying to accept that. It’s not easy but it’s called being realistic. To be honest I would be happy just to have a BF right now. Being single isn’t bad it just kind of monotonous. 🤷 I know I wouldn’t be easy to live with for one thing as I’ve been on my own so long I’m used to making all my own decisions and it would be hard to adjust to anything different. Plus the fact that I don’t have much time for a relationship these days. It is hard to see everyone around me hooking up and being the odd person out but it’s not like I have a choice. For the most part guys don’t really care much for me either that or at least don’t let me know it if they do and if they do show interest it’s not in any kind of commitment. 🤷 :eek: So I guess I just have to remain content with the single life for now. 👍
 
I don’t know why in general.

There’s a possibility that God didn’t want me to start a relationship in a state I was in the past. Perhaps it’s not that great now (it probably isn’t) and I’m going to get better yet, finding at that point someone who will match me then as opposed to now.

Or perhaps I’m not meant for marriage but rather for something else. Who knows. I’m rather reflective and I already “speak” Latin, so…

As for now, I’m simply not collected from the last break-up and the relationship which was before it. The girl is not completely out of my system, or rather I’m not completely done with the shock and other results. I need more time to recuperate. Also, I don’t want another uncertain relationship and I certainly don’t want to repeat some mistakes of the past. I’m not completely in control of my feelings, but it’s getting better.

A complicating factor is working in a law firm. That means very little free time, much tiredness, little opportunity to meet people.
 
Just haven’t found the one.

My generation is lost. Very few young ladies of strong faith around (me).

I’m currently expanding my horizons.

God’s servant,
John Anthony.
 
I am single because right now, I am busy caring for my elderly mother and paying off my son’s college debt. That and in less than two weeks, knee surgery will render me a cripple for probably the rest of the Summer.

After all these things, who knows. Right now, I am focusing on my relationship with the Lord, not trying to pick up girls.

However, I will admit that in the past, I have never had any trouble getting a date or finding women. On the other hand, that was when I was an atheist and the religion of the lady was simply not something I was interested in. Nor did I date for the purpose of finding a suitable wife. That has all changed now that I am Catholic. I will not date “for fun” and I will only date a faithful Catholic lady.
 
Discerning a vocation to the religous life (at the advanced age of 42 and 9/10). I’m a convert so didn’t quite know what to do with the vocation thing when I was younger. 🙂 🙂
 
I get asked out occasionally, but I don’t know if God is calling me to marriage, so I don’t want to date anyone because it’s not fair to them. I don’t see the point of dating without knowing if you are EVER going to get married. It doesn’t even have to be to the person you are currently dating, but I do think you should have an idea that you do want to be married someday. So I just politely refuse and just tell them that I’m currently involved with someone. 😃
 
I’ve always felt that I will never get married. I don’t have anything against marriage, it just isn’t for me.

So I’m single. Sometimes happily so, sometimes not happily so. That isn’t usually based on my being single, but on their been such a focus on the couple. I want the benefits of the couple, without the other half.
 
11+ years ago, God made me a widow. 5 years later, I remarried the wrong person - abusive, anti-Catholic, personality disordered. Today, I sit here in the South (where there are few available single Catholic men my age) quite happy being a single Mom once again. I guess God just doesn’t mean for me to be married. That may get to be an uncomfortable status in a few short years when my kids are out of the house completely, but for now, I’m pretty content with my singleness.
 
I lived for many years in foreign countries where I realized that international relationships are not for me. Now I am back home and very much enthusiastic to meet a nice catholic man.🙂
 
I was very unhappily married for 4 years and have been single for 27 years now. I wouldn’t mind finding a nice man, but I am quite happy alone and frankly my former marriage scarred me deeply.
 
Because my husband deserted me at the “awkward age” of 52. I’m 57 now . . . many men my age are marrying women in their 30s and 40s and considering starting a new family. However, there seems to be light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Men in their mid-60s seem to return to women their own age. So, perhaps in the next few years I will outgrow this ancient adolesence in which I have found myself. 😃

In the meantime, I have enjoyed my single life, done a lot of things I never had the opportunity to do, and date just enough to know what’s out there isn’t what I am seeking right now.
 
Why am I single…
because I dont get to spend much time around Christian men and I could never go for an atheist. When I do meet Christian guys they are normally not Catholics and therefore lack some of the ability to be a strong Catholic husband and father …
and I am quite picky…
What is a girl to do. Its not that I feel I cant get someone… I meet much positive interest… but I have to be patient for God to send me a match (I would like to have a Catholic if it can be arranged… can you hear me Jesus ) and then … the falling in love part is a miracle… nothing less.
Maybe I am too picky… like my aunt told me … 😊

Maybe God is letting me waite until I realise again that HE is my first love… I must be planted in Him firmly… or else everything will be a catastrophe…
 
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