For want of a lot of good men

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Hoosier-Daddy said:
Yeah but that isn’t what you said. You said you aren’t advocating anybody breed early and often. I see nothing wrong with breeding early and often.
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Okay, fair enough 🙂
I guess when I wrote that I was thinking about some of my Evangelical friends who come from churches with the tight communities. Those kids do marry way earlier than the society norm, but it also seems to come with a lot of baggage of living up to the expectations of the group.
It puts a lot of pressure on the kids to find a mate, and I can’t help but wonder how many of these kids either settle, or marry the first person to come along because they’re scared they might not get another chance.

I mean, I love large families. We were open to life. We didn’t have a large family because it simply didn’t happen, not because we were against the idea.

And if you have your ducks in a row at an early age, then you definitely get a “head start” on having a large family LOL
 
My mother was in her fifties when she became a grandmother. While she was active with my oldest (lots of time with grandma, bird watching, cooking, long walks, park visits) by the time my youngest came along she was already in the beginning stages of dementia.
She couldn’t handle much alone time with him except for maybe a few minutes at a time.
Much of their activity together was to sit and watch tv.

Sometimes he’d want to play with dinosaurs with her. It would confuse her because her attention span was shorter. One time he tried to get her attention to the game, she said, “I’m sorry, honey I don’t know how to play dinosaurs, they didn’t have dinosaurs when I was little.” That phrase ended up being something funny my son remembers about Grandma.
 
@Cruciferi
A lot of times getting married can mean a combination of finances and doubling of resources. JimG and his wife going to the hospital had nothing to do with being married ( I presume) it still would have been shouldered by her parents or her alone.
Half the rent, double the income, someone else to cook or whatever while one is busy at work, free home entertainment extraordinaire, etc; usually life can be easier when married.

Having children, on the other hand, can cause financial difficulty. Someone unusually has to quit working or pay exorbitant child care; hospital bills, impeding food, clothing, travel equipment, all adds up. Lack of freedom of movement, diminished options, mommy-daddy time has to be well coordinated…

Though correlated, do not conflate the challenges and rewards marriages with child rearing
 
Hoosier-Daddy said:
Yeah but that isn’t what you said. You said you aren’t advocating anybody breed early and often. I see nothing wrong with breeding early and often.
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Nothing wrong with a little bit of breeding early and often. That’s how saints are made. And God works with clay. Things don’t have to be sterile and perfect. If you’re trusting in the Lord instead of yourself, things seem to go really well for two married people who are both working together for His greater glory. That should be the primary rock of the family, not the finances.

When I was young, I married a man who was confident, popular, and hard-working. He also attended mass. This should not have been the deciding factor for me. There are deeper things to establish a marriage on. Trust and selflessness, for starters.
 
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Daisy said:
Jesus was born in a stable.
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You’re talking about the Holy Family 2,000 years ago while they were out of town. Don’t forget that Joseph had a house and a trade. He was a very responsible man.
 
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Joseph was a responsible man, and that’s important, but people seem to think they need a lot more than they really do. I will say that modern US society requires health insurance, a car, and car insurance, and then inflated home prices don’t help the situation for a young man who’s trying to start out.
 
I expect them to successfully insert food into their mouths without making a mess. I’ll allow for some artistic leeway for how they go about doing that.
 
Excuse me if I misunderstood. You said people seem to think they need a lot more than they do. Then you listed things US modern society requires. It sounded like you were suggesting those things you listed aren’t really necessary. I wouldn’t exactly put cars into the same category of health insurance.

Perhaps I did misunderstand you.
 
JMMJ said:
I wouldn’t exactly put cars into the same category as health insurance.
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I think I would, at least depending on where you live. If you live in a big city with public transporation widely available, then probably a car is not a necessity. But for many of us, a car is the only way to get to work, unless you happen to be lucky enough to live within walking or biking distance.
 
We in the modern western world tend to put material value on marriage and focus entirely too much on it being an agreement rather than a sacrament. A car, a house with AC, a job, education, health insurance, has little to do with the sacrament of marriage. People are married in the poorest of counties, in persecution, war, rampant disease, starvation, corruption, etc. In modern times and certainly in historical ones. The Church has always not only permitted but ENCOURAGED marriage and procreation through all these times. Right now, today as you read this, someone is getting married in a place that you or I couldn’t survive in, couldn’t even smell or eat in. Yet, they will do so joyfully, sacramentaly and in a holy way.
Does that mean I want my daughter to marry any old beggar? No certainly not. But if she is dedicated to help him achieve heaven and he wants her to be a saint, not only could they get married, they SHOULD get married.
 
Hoosier-Daddy said:
Does that mean I want my daughter to marry any old beggar? No certainly not. But if she is dedicated to help him achieve heaven and he wants her to be a saint, not only could they get married, they SHOULD get married.
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I would still contend that it’s a recipe for Divorce. But if both of them are truly dedicated to each other, who am I to stop them. It just wouldn’t be my cup of tea :coffee:
 
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If the couple wills sainthood for the other then divorce wont happen. Is there more divorced couples in materialistic western society where the focus is on the temporal? Most certainly!
I’m so glad you wouldnt stop them… since the Church doesnt.
 
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Would any fine single woman out there today even countenance a man who sleeps in a stable on an overnight trip out of town? Alright, let’s try that again for the modern day equivalent, how about the man who sleeps in his car?

Joseph was good enough for Mary who was on a very important mission that needed the help of a man who would stand by her. But would today’s American women accept a carpenter? Even a good, high quality carpenter? Or some other trade?
 
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Forgive me if someone else has already brought this up in this thread.

There are plenty of entertainment professionals (actors, musicians, etc.) who have more material wealth and security than the entire population of a small Midwestern city! (I say “security” assuming that they will take the 20 million that they earn from one film or one hit song and invest at least some of it for the future.)

But many of these people marry and divorce, then marry again and divorce again, and then…so on.

Material security does not guarantee a lasting and happy marriage.
 
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